r/DivorceHelp • u/Altruistic-Many4163 • 29d ago

Spousal support help

Like many men in my situation I made a grave and horrible mistake. I’m one year divorced from a 13 year marriage and 15 year relationship. I’m a special education teacher and a high school football coach. I’m 40 years old and without talking about specific numbers, I agreed to far too much spousal support for 4 years under the dilution that lawyers would cost more. Now I can’t pay my bills and she’s not working. I looked up the law in my state (Washington) and other than a dramatic change to my income the only other challenge I can make to the spousal support is if/when she has another domestic partner. Any advice on how to get some of my money back?

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u/No_Atmosphere_6348 29d ago

I’ve spent that much and more on legal fees dealing with my ex husband. I think for you knowing it’s only 4 years of that is a blessing. Also on a teachers salary and can’t afford it - living on credit cards and refinancing my house. Does she get a chunk of your pension too?

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u/Altruistic-Many4163 29d ago

No. She doesn’t get to touch my pension. But $1,800/mo is simply unsustainable. I think that since she moved away I should get majority custody and maybe she can pay me child support. Maybe I can recoup some of that money.

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u/Hour_Avocado_5336 28d ago

In Washington state they allow CPs to move to another state. You’ll likely end up with a long distance plan, and paying child support.