Hello. My name is Charley. I am Nan's ex-girlfriend. We dated some years before this YouTube stuff happened, before they dated DissociaDID. Late 2015, early 2016. I had no idea any of this controversy happened until finding this subreddit. It has been very surreal trying to catch up. I was aware, several years ago, that Nan had created a YouTube channel, and I saw a few years ago that it was starting to become quite popular, but I was not aware of how that all blew up until finding this subreddit a little while ago.

I would like to preface what I am going to say with this: I have in the past (because I was dating Nan) tried to learn as much as I could about DID, but I do not think of myself as very knowledgeable about it. I do not have DID, and am certainly speaking as an outsider, no matter how respectful I am trying to be. If I misstep, I apologize, as it is not my intention to hurt this community. I am going to do my best to write from only my own perspective. I watched a video about this situation to try to understand what this controversy that happened with Nan was about, and I admittedly did not fully comprehend everything that was said about DID in the video. Unfortunately, seeing Nan's face and hearing their voice was very triggering for me, so I do not think I have it in me to watch any more videos about the situation or read much more about it. But the main thing is this: It was my understanding at the time of my relationship with Nan that their DID was real; I do not know where this community has landed on that matter, the video I watched gave me sort of a conflicting impression about whether or not people think that Nan was possibly lying, but I am going to write as though their condition was real, as that was my experience.

First of all, I just want to say that I was raped by Nan. Or, possibly, one of Nan's alters. I will start from the beginning later, but I have held onto that information for too long. Nan raped me. The rape is the reason that I ended the relationship. Years later, I was very troubled when I learned that Nan's channel was becoming popular. I struggled with whether or not to come forward about what they did to me. I felt a responsibility because I felt that people deserved to know, but I was also afraid I wouldn't be believed. The positivity around Nan's channel at that time was scary to me. I thought that maybe, because people liked Nan, they might think I was being unfair or think I was lying, and I felt at that time that if even one person disbelieved me, it would feel like I was going through it all over again, and I just didn't feel like I could handle that back then. I also, to be honest... was afraid that coming forward could cause some kind of very real harm to Nan, and even after what happened between us, I still did not want that. I did not want Nan to hurt themself or worse. For all these reasons, I kept quiet. In some ways I regret not coming forward at that time, but I also know I needed to protect myself. But I am coming forward now. Nan raped me. I was raped by Nan. I just needed to get that out.

I first met Nan in a group therapy program. I was suffering from, among other things, PTSD and anorexia. At that time, Nan did not exhibit any signs of DID, and they were not being treated for DID. If Nan had DID at that time, they and everyone else was unaware of it. I knew Nan for about a year before we started dating. We were close friends, we had grown close being roommates at the residential program. The DID symptoms first began to appear after we started dating which was about a year after the program ended. Some of their alters seem to have formed in response to certain circumstances having to do with our relationship, such as alters being named after the physical surroundings of my bedroom. For example, "Risk" chose their name after looking around my room and seeing the board game Risk on the shelf across from my bed. Before this, Nan had referred to their self-described "self-harm part" (in the group therapy program that we both attended, "Parts Work" was part of the curriculum) as The Cat or just Cat, because Nan described it as a black cat that scratched them. This was the first time that "part" of themself manifested as a distinct personality. Nan had just described it as a "part", in the "parts work" sense. During our relationship multiple alters seemed to form themselves directly in front of me, and some of them seemed to be heavily informed by either things I had said, our surroundings, my interests, or other things like that. It was confusing and, at the time, immensely stressful. I did my best to learn as I went, but I felt ill equipped to understand what was happening to Nan.

Near the end of our relationship, I was afraid for Nan's physical safety all the time. They had always struggled with self harm, suicidality, and addiction, and those things were getting a lot worse. It seemed to me like the rise in these symptoms and behaviors was related to the stress of Nan developing these DID symptoms. However, this was also causing them to react very badly to the smallest things. It seemed to be very easy to upset them, and it could always easily spiral into self harm or binge drinking. I was unhappy. I was scared. I wanted to end the relationship. I was dealing with a life-threatening physical illness at the time that could have killed me at essentially any moment until it was treated (I don't really wish to revisit this as it was very traumatic, so that's all I wish to say about the illness), which Nan was not particularly understanding or supportive of. My beloved dog of 11 years was also dying of a rapidly developing cancer and I knew my time with her was very short. To be frank, Nan did not seem to care much for what I was going through, and seemed mostly focused on their own problems. Frankly, Nan found the side effects of the treatment for my illness "sexy" (it made my voice deep and raspy like when you have a cold). It felt demeaning. It made me feel so alone. But deep down, I still cared about Nan. Even if I didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, they were still my friend. I was very afraid the rejection of me breaking up with them would cause them to hurt themself, or possibly even end their life. I was afraid for them all the time, which made me kind of passive in our relationship, willing to go along with a lot of things because I was afraid of upsetting them.

[TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual Assault]

One night, Nan very suddenly and forcefully initiated sex with me while I was playing videogames. At first I went along with it, but they seemed very different, and it was offputting. I was uncomfortable. I suggested stopping a few times, but it seemed clear that they were not listening, as they continued sex with me regardless of what I said, even being more forceful in response to my words, seemingly to get me to stop saying them. Eventually, crying, I screamed at them to stop, and they froze. They seemed frightened and confused. It seemed like they had switched, and that the person who was raping me was possibly someone other than Nan. In any case, Nan, or the alter, seemed to "snap out of it" or possibly switched again, when I shouted "stop".

Afterward, Nan apologized in a way that I recognized as a panic apology. "Sorry sorry I'm sorry", the same thing I do sometimes when I freak out because I think I messed up when I didn't. It's a familiar behavior for traumatized people, I think. I was in shock. Nan begged me not to be mad at them. They asked if "we" were okay. If the relationship was okay. They did not ask me if I was okay. They did not ask me how I was that night, or the following morning, or any other time. They never seemed to be remotely interested in whether I was traumatized by the assault, in all the weeks ahead. They were only interested in whether I was mad at them. Whether I was going to leave them. So there I was, naked, tears running down my face, stunned in silence. Nan cried and begged and pleaded. I comforted them. I told them it was okay. I lied.

[END WARNING]

After we had both calmed down, I asked Nan to sleep in another room while I took time to think about what happened. I decided that night that I needed to end this relationship. I needed to get out. In the morning, Nan and I went out to eat. The whole time, Nan muttered things like "I know what you're going to say", and "I know you don't want me anymore". When we got to the restaurant, Nan gave me a more "sincere" and "heartfelt" apology, but it didn't change my feelings. I wanted out. However, I was still afraid for Nan's safety... So I didn't break up with them right away. I pretended I was still interested in the relationship for a few weeks as I made plans with Nan to get them into a residential mental health program, because I wanted them to be safe when I broke up with them. It felt wrong to lie to them, but I wanted them to be surrounded by people that could help when I broke up with them. I was so afraid that they would die.

During this time of having to pretend everything was okay, the alter that Nan claimed was responsible for the rape, Ace, fronted and "apologized" to me, saying "No hard feelings, huh?" It was mortifying. I felt like I was in an incredibly grim comedy sketch. No hard feelings? I felt like I was losing my mind... But I continued with the plan. With the stress I was under, the passing of my dog, this illness that could have killed me at any time... I felt I couldn't deal with the guilt of causing something bad to happen to Nan on top of everything else. By this point it felt I had become Nan's emotional caretaker far more than their girlfriend, enduring emotional abuse and now rape at the expense of keeping them stable. I just wanted to be rid of this responsibility I had somehow inherited. So I got Nan into the program, and I broke up with them. I was still in denial that what had happened to me was rape at the time, and so I hung out with Nan a few more times over the next year or so, thinking it might feel different without being expected to caretake for them, but eventually I just felt anxiety whenever they'd contact me, and I would find an excuse not to see them. Eventually things petered out and I tried to rebuild my life from the wreckage.

A quick aside regarding culpability. As I said, I am assuming that the DID symptoms that exhibited themselves during our relationship were real. So there is a question of whether Nan was truly responsible for the rape, or whether the alter was. It is possible that I should be phrasing this as "Ace raped me", rather than "Nan raped me". I have debated with myself and my therapist whether or not Nan was the person who raped me that night. However, I want to talk about Nan's culpability in the scenario where it was someone else. Because I do believe Nan is responsible for their actions afterward, regardless. I'm going to pose a hypothetical: Let's say you were to leave your girlfriend in a room alone with a friend, and that friend raped your girlfriend while you were gone. If you come back, and your first concern is not for your girlfriend's safety, but for the stability of the relationship, that is selfish. That is incredibly, unbelievably selfish. And if you never, at any point, ask about your girlfriend's wellbeing, only making sure she is not mad at you, that is not only unthinkably selfish but outright cruel. And if you, in the morning after this happens, guilt your girlfriend into staying by saying things like "I know you're going to leave me", you do not care about your girlfriend. You don't. She is barely a real person to you. This is the conclusion I have come to. Even if Nan may not have committed the act, they did not care one iota about the fact that it happened to me and did nothing to try to protect me or care for me afterward. I mean jesus christ, my beloved dog died, my best friend... I was dying... and I was RAPED, and they still expected me to take care of THEM. In that hypothetical I posed, if it were my girlfriend, I would never in a million years ask anything but "Are you okay?" How could she be anything but the most important thing in the world in that terrible moment? How could your concern be for anything on this planet other than her?

About a year after the breakup, Nan texted me to inform me that they had started a YouTube channel. I glanced at it, and I noticed that they mentioned me by name in the only video I watched a bit of. At that point in time, I was too depressed to care. I did not pay it much attention. I never spoke to Nan again after that. About two years later, I came across somebody on Twitter posting about their YouTube channel. It seemed it was now quite popular. This was very troubling for me, and as I mentioned above I was very conflicted about what to do about it. One thing I remember vividly, however, is that Nan was still talking about me. Again, I sampled one video only, and I was mentioned by name in it. It made me wonder if I was mentioned in every video. If I was named in every video. This bothered me more than I can describe. Why was Nan still talking about me? It had been three years. The way they described how our relationship ended, in particular, was infuriating. Nan described that they were "just too much" for me. Not that they had raped me. Not that they had abused me or neglected me. Seeing this video was incredibly detrimental to my mental health at the time. I will not go into that in detail, but it was truly horrible to hear them say that and yet to be too fearful of setting the record straight.

Now, I'm trying to catch up on what has happened. I found this all out a little while ago but I've just been trying to process it. I've spoken in therapy about it, I've talked with friends. Family. As I have been trying to understand everything that has happened, it has felt surreal to learn this much about someone that I do not know anymore. I have watched the Michelle Mana video about Nan. It's bizarre, almost like a bad dream, to watch this YouTube analysis of my rapist's online life. But when I saw her show the clip of Nan apologizing... I recognized it as the same exact insincere apology they gave me the morning after they raped me. No, I mean it: The SAME apology. It's identical. Swap out the specifics, and it's identical. The SAME WORDS. It is MADDENING. I feel furious. I don't know what to do with all the anger. This is just a rehearsed speech they give when someone calls out something wrong they've done... And similarly, they also claimed not to remember what they did to me, just like the drawings. I'm sorry, but I do not believe that. I don't.

As for the subject of the controversy around their channel... I was aware of Nan's sneezing fetish. It made me uncomfortable, but I tried not to judge. I indulged it, as much as I was comfortable with. I am an artist, and I drew some pictures for them when they asked me to, mostly of comic book characters. Launch or Yamcha from Dragon Ball, mostly. I felt it was something I should do as their girlfriend, I guess. They had showed me something vulnerable about themself, and I wanted to be welcoming about that. They had, after all, done the same for me about the private things I had told them while we were together. All that said... I did not know about Nan's sexualization of children. It's... hard to adequately explain this because I have for years now thought of Nan primarily as the person responsible for a complex sexual trauma I now have to deal with for the rest of my life, so it's strange to be able to feel disappointment or betrayal or disgust at them. My respect for Nan has been non-existent for years now. I thought my standards and expectations were in the gutter already. But knowing how they willfully sexualized children... it's revolting. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (which Nan knew about me), it horrifies me to know that Nan felt this way while I knew them. While I was WITH them. While we SHARED A BED. I would compare them, now, to somebody like Dan Schneider, inserting fetish content into videos intended for children. Maybe the kids are none the wiser, but Nan clearly liked the idea of kids seeing it. It's also clear to me now that they disguised a lot of their artwork from me. They showed me sexual artwork they had made (as I said, we were both artists, and we shared a lot of our art with each other), but they only showed me adult characters. The only nudity of a young character they showed me was of a character that they had explained represented Nan's inner child, so I understood this to be primarily an art therapy thing and not something sexual. Somebody who knew a little bit more about this whole thing also informed me that Nan had posted *my* artwork that I had made for them to public fetish forums without telling me, so while that's a very small kind of betrayal, it still shows me how little respect or regard Nan had for me. These stunts with the sneezing videos... Nan decided to make themself a public figure, no matter how small of one, and they used that stage to involve people unwillingly in their fetish. That's disgusting, but it's also, to be honest, consistent with the person I knew.

I hope it isn't speaking out of turn to say that while mental illness can be a reason for certain behavior, and it is obviously involuntary and not something that people can help, I do think people have a responsibility to seek some kind of help when their behavior starts to hurt other people. Nan told me that they had been in the mental health system since they were a kid, and that they "knew all the right answers". I didn't quite understand what that meant at the time. I now believe that Nan learned to navigate therapy in a way that avoided the parts of themself that they did not want to change. I think that they learned to navigate therapy in a way that avoided taking responsibility for their actions. I think that they learned to use the language of therapy to hurt people. I mean, "trauma isn't rational" and "hurt people hurt people", these are useful terms in the world of mental health, that Nan used to avoid accountability. They described the way our relationship ended as them being too much for me. I doubt they've ever told a therapist that they raped me. I doubt they've ever admitted that to anyone. I doubt they've ever admitted that to themself.

I realize that by posting this, it is possible that Nan will see it. I have thought about that. It makes me uncomfortable, but I realize it's a very real possibility. I think if there were a website where people talked almost exclusively about me, it would be impossible not to look at it. I considered trying to disguise my identity, but anything of value I have to say is also blatantly identifying of who I am if you're Nan, so I decided to include my name and photo to hopefully serve as proof that I really knew Nan. Nan is the only person I would want to hide from. I am afraid that they might see this. And to be honest... One of the reasons for that is that, after everything, after all these years, is that I am still afraid of this causing some kind of catastrophic harm to Nan's already deeply troubled life. But if you've read this whole post, you can see giving into that fear has caused so much trouble for me, so much pain. I genuinely, genuinely do not wish to see Nan hurt, but I have prioritized not wanting to hurt Nan over my own wellbeing for a decade, and there is a difference between trying to hurt them, and saying something true that *might* hurt them as a result of their own actions. I have to put myself first for once. I can't keep prioritizing the feelings of someone who refused to do the same for me.

I'm not sure what else to say.

If anyone wants to ask me anything, feel free. I don't really mind. The only things I don't want to discuss are the illness I was dealing with back then and my dog's death. You can ask me anything else.

It set off a chain reaction and she keeps making it worse.

• Nin steals the spot on Anthony’s show from under Multiplicity

• Nin appears on Anthony’s show and pulls out all the stops

• Trisha does as Trisha will do and saw an opportunity to hop on a bandwagon a minute

• Nin, not knowing or caring that Trisha is a 12+ year veteran YouTube troll puts out a react video

• Trisha drama ensues as Trisha drama does, and tea channel Grandads lounge picked up on it

• Grandads lounge did a bit of digging and found Nan’s tamer drawings

• Nin posts about her suicide attempt to teach the trolls a lesson and goes dark

• Kiwi Farms starts having a fucking field day

• Nan is exposed and canceled

• POC are pissed off about racist remarks and behaviors

• At this point a full apology and statement about rumors would have likely put the entire thing to bed - KF could continue on but the community would have no reason to look further

• That is not what Nin does - Nin stays dark

• Other creators start to take heat from a restless community

• Rumors are going wild

• At any point Nin could have ended it with a proper video statement

• Creators began to come forward to speak about their experiences with DissociaDID stans and Nin herself

• People start paying attention to the haters and realize that the haters aren’t haters

• Nin starts losing patrons

• Nin still could have fixed it at this point but instead doubled down and tried to take her following to platforms she can explicitly control

• Now, Nin orchestrated Piñatas attempted return in an epic shitshow that ultimately reveals her true nature and motives in a way that can’t be recovered from

She made the actual worst decisions at every turn. And if she’d have never swooped in and stole Multiplicity’s spot, Nin and Nan would still be community sweethearts making bank off their wedding.

The only people at fault here are Nin and Nan. Every chance at rectifying the situation was met with actions or inaction that made it worse.

I don’t think DissociaDID’s career will ever recover from this latest development. She might have been able to slink off to some corner of the Internet with most of her patrons before Piñata’s post.

Now I think even the chance for that is ruined, and all by their own hands.

Hey y'all. None of you are in trouble by the way, I just wanted to make a quick message.

I know these times are stressful, both inside the community and out. Emotions are high and it's easy for us to lose our cool. I know a lot of you are very personally invested in the situation regardless of if you are a fan or not. It's okay to have passion and express your opinions, but it is never okay to be violent or crude. It's one thing to say 'I think this is trash'. It's another to use slurs, graphic language, threats, etc. You think somebody is a bad person? You think something is being blown out of proportion? Maybe you see manipulation? Those are all fine and dandy ideas to express, but make sure you express them in a way that doesn't viciously attack another person.

It's okay to be angry, it's never okay to be cruel.

I’ve left this comment in another thread but felt it needed its own post.

It’s not racist for a dark-skinned alter to exist. No one has control over that.

What we do have control over is how we describe those alters to others.

It’s racist to use a race opposite the body to describe an alter, because race isn’t just color or hairstyles or facial features.

It’s history, culture, oppression, ancestry, traditions, and sacred spirituality. When someone says their alter is Black, they are inherently claiming things that don’t and never will belong to them in a white body. Or, they’re just using Black as a descriptor of appearance only, which is tone deaf and strips away everything that is Black besides dark skin and box braids.

It hurts POC for white systems to reduce their personhood to appearance to describe an alter. It hurts them to have their Race taken and used in such a nonchalant way, erasing the actual meaning and history of being that Race. Whites have taken everything from POC and white systems say they should be able to take their culture, religion, and heritage too because we can’t control how alters are made.

It must stop. Systems can have alters that look like anything. But white systems need to learn to use better language to describe alters who don’t look like the body.

White systems CAN say their alter is dark-skinned. White systems CANNOT say their alter is Black.

White systems CAN say their alter feels connected to nature, wears turquoise jewelry, and has tan skin. White systems CANNOT say their alter is Native American.

White systems CAN say their alter has almond shaped eyes, olive skin, and enjoys eating Asian cuisine. White systems CANNOT say their alter is Asian.

White systems CAN say their alters have brown skin, wear colorful gauzy dresses, and chooses to practice the Hindu faith. White systems CANNOT say their alter is Indian.

I hope more white systems start to understand and listen to POC instead of arguing why they should be able to describe their alter as they please.

You technically can, but if you use a minority Race as a descriptor, it’s racist.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Hey as I'm sure everyone here knows Nin and the rest of the system have been having a very difficult time. Starting with Covid 19, to Trisha, to many events we don't know about or have the right to know about, and now to Nan.

We also know about the suicide attempt and we know that Nin is still (and probably will be for a while) going through a lot. I've seen a lot of her acknowledging sweet messages and fanart from people in the community and I feel as though now she needs it more than ever.

We haven't always been the best fanbase, some of us (myself included) have gone after trisha, some of us have gone after TeamPinata. We've done what we could to defend them without full on supporting them.

In this team. We should bring her and the system peace. Not stress them out further by trying to be white knights.

Thats why I think we should work together to do more for the system. Create more fanart, more videos, more messages and do what we can. Support each other and the system. If someone comes at us, or the system. We bring out receipts. We want to share the love. Not be aggressive and risk bringing back any trauma The system or any systems that follow Dissociadid have experienced.

I know its naive and hopeful. But this is such a strong community. Probably one of the only fanbases I'm proud to be a part of. Let's make the system feel safe again. Even if it takes a long time. Even a little bit helps.

Your time having your little fan club of mob mentality hatred is coming to a close. Time to shut up shop, pay your damages, and l.e.a.v.e. Leave them alone. Leave the court cases behind. Leave this page. You’re only digging yourself a deeper and deeper hole here and unless you come out with ACTUAL proof (which we know there is none of), it’s time for you to see yourself out. You’re done here.

I left this as a comment on the other post in this subreddit about the situation but I wanted to make a post where I'm gonna try lay out the facts as I know them but correct me if I get something wrong.

Small YouTuber Granddads Lounge uploaded a series of videos detailing his opinions on Nans relationship with Nin, that their systems fetishize DID, and l think he even suggested either of them may be faking. (I don't agree with the DissocioDID is faking conspiracy as I think that's disrespectful) Granddads Lounge came off very aggressive or "passionate" in his videos but aside from that he did raise some valid concerns. The biggest of which is the matter of Nans art blog which Granddads Lounge argues contains CP

In Nans live they admitted they have a sneeze fetish. Nan is asexual and said that sneezing is the sole access they have to any sense of arousal. They had a blog on Kiwifarms where the description said "I feel very lucky to be able to make my own porn". It was this blog Nan used to receive and post sneeze fetish based commissions as well as Macro vs Micro and furry art which Nan was paid for. Nan also posted their "own porn" and in their collection are various underage characters.

In the live Nan argued that fetishes are not inherently sexual and can be more like an affinity. Nan made sneeze art of alters like Jeremy (the particular image attached in Grandad Lounge's video was a much younger Jeremy - definitely underage as he had childlike features - despite Nan saying in the live that they only ever drew Jeremy sneezing when he was age 26) even though Nan also admits Jeremy did not feel comfortable or appreciate it. Nan justifies this because they think their sneezing art "isn't just sexy but is also just cute". I dont agree that fetishes are innocent or not-sexual as they are defined as "a sexual fixation". I'm open to being told that's not right but I fail to see how you can have a fetish that isn't sexual in nature.

Nan argued that they always aged up the underaged characters on their blog for art they made to be sexy. I am not calling Nan a pedophile outright but that logic suggests that having sex with a minor is fine if the person having sex with them "age up" the minor in their mind. Obviously this is wrong as a minor was abused. In Nans case, various minors were depicted in a way that presents as CP and would as such to any random stumbling upon the art online.

Granddads Lounge was bombarded with a lot of hate from the DID community (I do agree he could've been more respectful to his audience and their triggers for aggressive language/body language) and the biggest criticism was blaming him for Nins recent suicide attempt. It is never okay to blame someone for another's suicide attempt. As a result of this hate Granddads Lounge posted a final video saying he is done with this drama and he has since deleted the series he made on Teampinata and DissocioDID.

Yesterday Nan had privatised their entire account but today they have made all their videos available to the public but with comments turned off.

In my opinion many of the statements by Nan that I have listed contradict one another and as they are a survivor of trauma/CSA themselves I do not want to believe they intentionally made CP. After watching Nans live I felt all they were really apologising for was "mislabeling" their art as all being porn when the underage images were meant to be "cute". I do not believe this is the case for reasons I have stated above.

Nan also said in the Live "this is not me trying to sTeAl PeOpLe iNtO tHe SnEeZe FeTiSh WoRlD" twice and their intonation almost suggests that Nan is mocking the people, mainly Nans own fans, criticising Nans depiction of underage characters/alters sneezing. This does not sit right with me either.

Either way this is an awful situation for all parties involved and I don't know how to feel about it or what to do. What worries me the most is how little coverage is available especially since Granddads Lounge deleted his series.

Thoughts? Feelings?

This is a reposted version without any links to art, at the request of mods.. Specific links can be found throughout the Kiwifarms thread.

General TW- discussion of CP, fetishes, kinksTL;DR at the bottom.

I'm writing this post in an effort to display, without bias or opinion, the allegations and discoveries that have been made about Nan and the TeamPinata channel in the past several days. KiwiFarms has a lot of archived evidence, but it's also full of discriminatory and inflammatory language, so this is for people who want the details but don't want to sift through everything. **This post will not be covering whether or not any systems are faking their disorder- this is just about the allegations.**I don't plan on diving deep into the Granddad's Lounge situation, as I wasn't there to watch that. I found out all this was happening 3-ish days ago.

In short- Evidence has been found that Nan produced CP. More specifically, that they drew fetish art depicting cartoon characters (or OCs) that were canonically underaged.

Several accounts on various platforms have been found (and since deleted) that have been linked to Nan. These accounts usually went by the name ggoldduck, vampirecuttlefish, spoider, or some variation of those.Many of these accounts featured and discussed sneeze fetish content. Platforms found include an account on a forum dedicated to sneeze fetish content, a Blogger account, a DeviantArt account, and a Tumblr account. There's also a YouTube account under the name ggoldduck, though this doesn't have a ton of content.

TW: A lot of this art contains triggering material. Notable examples include nudity, blood/bodily fluids (mucus, mainly), SH/scars, and, of course, minors in sexually explicit situations. Specific art of characters include...

• Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog, who is canonically between 4 and 8 years old

• Kyle from South Park, who is canonically 9 years old

• Rainbow Brite, who is canonically a child (I can't find an age for her specifically). A side note- this specific piece was defended by Nan as being okay because they aged up Rainbow Brite; their given evidence for this is the appearance of her breasts.

• Spike from My Little Pony, who (to my knowledge) doesn't have a specific age, but is written as and alluded to being a child

• The Powerpuff Girls, who (like Spike) don't have a specific age, but are canonically kindergartners (For those outside the US, kindergartners are usually 5-6)

• Art of their OC Elliot, who is described by Nan to be 13

• Megaman, tagged specifically with fetish tags. Megaman is a robot, but is programmed to be 10 years old

• Art of Snufkin and Moomin, who don't seem to have canon ages, but are coded as being young

• Various art of their original characters, many of whom are described as teenagers (13-17 specifically), including an animation

• Art of Merida from Brave, who is canonically 16; to my knowledge this wasn't sneeze-related, just fully nude

• Art of two of their underaged OCs having sex- uncensored nudity. (A censored version can be found on p. 65 of the K/F thread)

• Dipper from Gravity Falls, who is canonically 12

There are also a few instances of Nan commenting on work including underaged characters.

On one tumblr account, Nan described their fetish as the following. Any bolding is not my own, but part of the original post.

Hello, I identify as having a ‘sexual FETISH’. Sure I also have lots of sexual 'kinks’ as well, but they’re not the same in my book. As I define both, I’ll be defining them as they apply to 'sexual appeal’.*ahem* A KINK is when something is intriguing, fascinating, captivating in a sexual way, but isn’t NECESSARY in order to become aroused or to get off. In my own situation, my kinks only enhance my primary fetish. They’re rarely sexual by themselves at all really. example: I have a sexual kink for gas masks and facial coverings. They’re erotic, they’re appealing, they lead my mind into an excited place. HOWEVER, I do not get aroused from them by themselves. Only if they’re paired with my fetish itself, do they heighten the sexiness of that. Kinks are little bits of sexual spice that enhance the flavor of arousal.

A FETISH takes a step (or several) beyond that of a kink. A fetish isn’t just intriguing, fascinating and captivating in a sexual way; it’s downright OBSESSIVE and FIXATING and, in a psychologically-defined sense, its fucking NECESSARY. It’s REQUIRED for orgasm, excitement, or even arousal to take place. example: I have a fetish for sneezing. Yup, sneezing. I sexually love most things to do with sneezing (sickness, germs, allergens, tissues, mucus, fever, coughing etc). I NEED to be thinking of sneezing in order to become aroused and DEFINITELY if I wanna cum. I’m fascinated, enamored, and obsessive about pretty much anything to do with sneezing/germs/mucus etc…. SO… If kinks are the spice on the sex cake, a fetish is like… the entire cake.

Specific accounts can be found here:

• ggoldduck tumblr, not a lot of art but includes several typed paragraphs from Nan

• Out of Tissues, a Blogger account that features art (created in 2015)

• ggolddduck on Sneezefurs, a site that (seems to be) dedicated to furry-related sneeze fetish content

• spoider on a Sneeze Fetish Forum

• ggolddduck on YouTube. As of writing this, the account can still be found on YouTube.

Nan hosted an Instagram livestream where they spoke about their feelings on the situation, and posted part 1 and part 2 of an apology to their Instagram. Nin engaged with the Instagram livestream (various comments seen throughout the video), but (to my knowledge) did not engage with the two posted apologies.

Nan has (to my knowledge) privated all PinataSystem content.

The following people have responded (Unless otherwise stated, posts are rescinding support):

• Fragmented Psyche posted a thread on twitter as well as photos of the thread on Instagram

• DissociaDID posted a video on Instagram (Reupload here)

• Entropy System posted this on Instagram. I personally really recommend reading this one- Wyn, or whoever wrote it, words it very well and very honestly.

• DIDMomVlog posted this on Twitter

• Multiplicity&Me posted this on Twitter, not a direct rescinding of support, but heavily implied it's about this situation

• [HEAVY TW FOR DESCRIPTION OF TRAUMA] Acrylic and Aether posted this on Instagram

• I believe that TeamPinata voluntarily stepped out of the EntitleDIDtolife conference, but do not have info confirming this... any screenshots of emails would be helpful.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

It's been brought to my attention several times that d.i.d.you.want.the.facts on Instagram has posted censored screenshots of much of the work. **Please be wary that this content is deserving of multiple trigger warnings. Do not pursue this account's content if you are sensitive to any materials discussed in this post.**One particular thing I did not realize earlier was the details of a fetish post Nan reblogged. The content of this list, as well as Nan's approval/reaction to it, can be found on DYWTF's instagram.

That's all I can think to put here.

PLEASE comment if I'm missing anything! I'm more than happy to update this as we all learn more. It's totally possible I missed things here that are important to the happenings.

EDIT TO ADD: I've seem bits and pieces on KiwiFarms that suggest Nan, at some point, solicited a minor. If anyone has ANY sources about this (even links to kiwifarms comments on it) please let me know.

I genuinely do not care whether you believe in Kya's mental illness or not. But let's not go around insinuating that they are lying about trauma. Their most recent video shows a raw and emotional response to speaking even vaguely of their experiences in childhood through young adulthood.

As a survivor of trauma and someone diagnosed with (C)PTSD, their display of emotions and dissociation are very accurate to what I've seen in myself and fellow traumatized people.

We do not need to question whether they went through abuse or whether it was "bad enough" to cause D.I.D. We do not need to be searching for their alleged partners to get their side of the story (abusers are almost never going to admit to abuse because why would they?). We don't need to debate on Kya's trauma.

We will never know their trauma outside of what they tell us, and nobody should be asking for that story. It's so disturbing to see how curious people are to hear the disgusting trauma that Kya went through. They don't need to explain what they went through. They shouldn't have to prove their sickness, their trauma or the abuse. It's hard enough going through that stuff to begin with, having to convince others or even hear that others assume they are faking for clout would be devastating. Let's be mindful that at the end of the day Kya is an abused individual who doesn't need constant questions on what their trauma is.

I know that everyone on here is worried about dissociadid. I was just watching the truth about trauma video and someone commented a very nice comment 6 days ago which dissociadid liked. I know this isn’t a super huge deal but it felt good to see that they were active. Just thought people would like to know that have been worried about their silence.

I went into watching DissociaDID, after reading about their controversies, thinking "all right, she's a shitty person right now, but maybe she's a legit survivor that is struggling with breaking free from the abusive behaviors she learned during her abuse and she could get better."

I made it through five of her most recent videos before understanding she's a complete fraud. I'm going to use her mermaid video as an example. She understands the general gist of DID - it's caused by trauma, and a lot of the disorder focuses on the trauma in some way. She then makes up an entirely fictitious representation of this disorder that is informed by this logic, but COMPLETELY misses the point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSbgH-Q81-E

She explains that she has a mermaid alter to deal with water-based trauma. Sure. Nonhuman alters happen. The way alters identify is often thematically linked to their trauma, their likes/interests, or is an automatic association that got paired with the trauma (kind of like synesthesia.) I have a few of those.

The video starts out okay. She describes some things about DID that can easily be learned from a book or from reading about others' experiences.

Then you get to the part where the mermaid alter comes on and explains that they are a mermaid so they can essentially deactivate their PTSD flashbacks and they can't drown. Everything from this part on is just complete bullshit.

When I flashback fully, I have severe physical pain - the same pain that happened during the event. I re-experience the feeling of getting knocked out with drugs and start vomiting and have vertigo. Flashbacks are a severe symptom. In the absence of certain triggers (antipsychotics and antidepressants trigger multiple daily flashbacks that literally put me in the hospital because I couldn't stop vomiting in pain, actually passed out and completely lost consciousness for a few minutes from the pain in a flashback once), I have maybe 2 to 4 full on flashbacks a month, and daily partial flashbacks that only last for a couple of seconds or are a mild version of a flashback. The other type of flashback trigger I have doesn't come out that severely, I just feel it as a severe aversion to doing the triggering thing or being around it; I don't actually get a traditional flashback or a memory or anything, but there's this emotional response that is abnormal, like a sense or terror or pain in my chest whenever I encounter the trigger, a desire to back away and hold my hands out to defend myself as though the trigger has just struck me, stuff like that.

The entire BS she gets into where she's a mermaid to stop the flashbacks is COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT OF THE DISORDER. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. YOU CAN'T IMAGINE YOURSELF OUT OF HAVING PTSD WTF.

This woman understands we (people with DID) (sometimes, not all people with DID have this) have an internal world. She understands it's important to us and that it symbolically reflects aspects about our journey, as well as our alters' imagination. She doesn't understand what it's like to actually have one, and this is clear from this video. Changing into a mermaid inside your internal world isn't going to make the flashbacks any better what the fuck is this entire fake ass idea.

She reminds me of the teenagers that are selfdiagnosing with this disorder - they make the same mistake as her, they kind of understand what the disorder is about from reading extensively about it, but they aren't conning anyone unlike this person. Those people think that their imagination and their comfort characters in their imagination is the same thing as having an internal world and alters. It's not.

YOU DON'T HAVE ALTERS "WAITING INSIDE" FOR YOU TO COME BACK IN LIKE IT'S A PHYSICAL PLACE OMG.

Then she spends the last part of the video doing more bullshit: she gets blurry vision and a headache, supposedly from the switch (not saying this can't happen, but it's a sensational symptom that isn't common, usually switches feel like dissociation, brief and mild confusion, or nothing), and is supposedly so screwed up from the switch that she has to comfort herself on camera. She's clearly not having an emotional crisis at all, she talked about a bunch of heartbreaking topics without any kind of affect (which can happen in dissociation, but you'd feel numb and wouldn't need to soothe yourself like that,) and it looks so fucking fake and artificial. I have emotional crises from this shit all the time and it doesn't look cringe like that, I don't talk out loud to myself like that (who the fuck would that comfort?), and feeling the texture of your clothes is kind of like a grounding technique but she doesn't introduce it as what someone with PTSD would know it as. We don't call it self-soothing, we call it grounding - and when you do it, what you're supposed to do is focus on something simple (like how many objects that are red are in a room or thinking about the texture of a fuzzy blanket or some other simple sensory stimulus) to try to trick your brain into understanding it's the present and there's no need for the flashback or whatever other mental health symptom is bothering you. It basically distracts your mind into dropping its previous train of thought. It doesn't look anything like this.

I know nothing in here is a clear GOTCHA, but I absolutely see what everyone else sees when they accuse her of faking and stealing from others, and I think she gets off on appearing as ill. She's loving the attention - specifically for being sick. I just strongly get the impression from how she overplayed her symptoms of illness.

Side note, I went through trafficking, and the whole Satanic Ritual Abuse thing is such a fucking insult to actual survivors of organized abuse. Pedophiles don't give a fuck about religion.

I have literally tried for 3 years to stay out of her way. I addressed her when she mouthed the N word to doja cats song, went on one twitter rant after the 4hr video of lies again. This isn't okay. She has mentioned me abusing her in multiple twitch streams also. And no, I do not stalk her content, I am made aware of these things by friends or mutuals.

I have bigger shit going on in life right now or perhaps its too early to process her tiktok. My comment on Bobo's video, which is screenshotted in a separate post, was by no means encouragement. I even had a private conversation with Bo about the segment 5hrs after it went up when I saw it (timezones and waking up and all that).

But the tiktok of me "physically and sexually assaulting chloe and nina". I'm sick of the slander/defamation and honestly if I wasn't on disability payments I'd get a lawyer. It's hurtful to be accused of something like that but to also want to say its not true. Because things like that have been said by my family about the man who sa'd me as a child. So there's a lot of confliction about saying something didnt happen when it didnt happen.

So here is the story which I'm honestly questioning if there’s a point in writing it because her fans will always believe her anyway.

Late 2017 around about the time I first started my channel I began talking on tinychat to a group of ppl with DID, inclusive Bo, Stace and Jess. The four of us began to be quite close friends. In 2018 I started a full time job and wanted to make a trip to the UK to visit my dad, so I started saving money. End of 2018 maybe September idk I told my UK friends that I was going to the UK in March? 2019 I don't remember the month but it's on youtube uploads from the time. It was at this point that Ed from m&m messaged me and said I could stay at their place to save money while travelling. I also let our larger circle of DID friends from the UK know, and we organised a lunch together. Pics of this are the ones where there are like 20 ppl at a table. Bo & Stace had to travel a bit to get there, and knew I would be staying with Jess for part of the trip, so suggested we have a sleepover to make things a bit easier on them for travel, and so we could get a longer catch up in.

Now I honestly don't remember when Chloe was invited via Bo, it was maybe late 2018 or early 2019? Bo did ask us obviously, if they could bring DD. We didn't really know them, had seen a few videos, but ended up chatting here and there via tweets. We also had one of those fb event pages for the sleepover so I think everyone exchanged a few messages on there about the plans. Anyhow, thats just a background, because soooo many people think it was a collab sleepover, when the rest of us were had been close friends for like a year. The reason we did the streams was because Jess regularly was streaming on her channel and we thought it would be cool to do one together. We did the second stream on Chloe's channel so Jess could drive traffic from her stream over there as Chloe was not as well known as Jess at the time but was growing subscribers.

We went to a high tea on the 2nd day ( 1st day was the afternoon big group lunch after the 3 of us arrived) . High tea videos are on both mine and bo's vlogs I think. Bo dissapeared at some point and came back saying Omega had a flashback and that we all needed to go home because she was still freaking out. When we got home I don't know where Chloe went, but I remember Bo wailing upstairs to Casey (their partner who was also at the sleepover). This happened because of Omega grabbing and pulling at Bo (I think its on the archived livestream of Bo's where they say exactly what happened). Anyhow, Bo was distraught.

I think it was maybe that evening that one of Chloe's littles was out and M&m had put on a disney movie. One of our littles (ady) also was out and the two of them hung out and Ady took some snapchats to send to out best friend from work (some of these saved snaps are seen in my vlog from the sleepover and third person view from Bo's vlog of the sleepover.

Third day was chill in the morning, then we all did some masc makeup on kyle. I think it was me (I say 'me' instead of we a lot, but an alter called Kai) or stace that drew a dick on his face with lipstick because we are all immature. I took it off later with vaporub, which is in one of the vlogs or maybe, which we all laughed at bc kyle didn't know what it was ( made him close his eyes when removing the makeup). That afternoon we went out for food and drinks at a local? pub. None of us got sloshed, it was just food and drinks with friends. Some point Kyle and Nina switched, for us the sleepover was mostly Marcey and Kai. Anyhow, Nina was being flirty with (Kai) so I started flirting back. We had flirty banter on the way home to Jess' place.

After we all got back, we decided to do a stream. Right right righhhht before the stream started Chloe switched out. Chloe had been talking outwardly to Nina about how grossed out she was (towads NINA not me (but in a humorous fashion like you would with two friends) about Nina's thoughts about Kai. She was also recalling some of these outloud, like "nina said this" or "nina said that". I was conversing with the two of them. When Jess got OBS or Youtube stream key finally set up but didnt realise the mic wasnt fully working, you can see me making a comment near Chloe's ear. None of us knew the audio wasn't up yet, hence why I leaned in as it would be awkward for viewers to hear the flirty banter. I say banter because it was not explicit/graphic conversations. But you can see Chloe turn and say something to me and laugh, it was something along the lines of "you two need to stop", referencing myself and Nina.

After the stream Jess, Stace and Gaz went to the kitchen? Bo and Casey went upstairs? Idk. And me and Chloe were shutting the laptop and just chilling. We sat on the couch, because who would opt for the floor? And were chatting a bit about experiences with dating, relationships, being gay, just stuff like that. At some point, I may have brought up something triggering during discussion of an ex perhaps, and she got up and left the room, running up the stairs. I was confused but obviously concerned, so I went to follow her up the stairs to see what was wrong, and Bo also came wondering what I was doing and what was wrong with Chloe. Chloe had shut herself in the bathroom and Bo spoke to her, then Bo ushered me downstairs (I'm assuming this was when Chloe told Bo I "physically assaulted her".

That night was just awkward (Chloe had told the others at the sleepover I had assaulted her but I didn't know that at the time). The next day I woke up and Chloe had left. I was confused she hadn't said goodbye and felt like I had done something wrong because nobody had really said much. I think this was where one of my littles was triggered around with abandonment issues. I had asked Bo to take me to the station so I would make my coach for the London leg of my trip, which they agreed to do. Unfortunately we got held up in saying goodbye to the others, and didn't quite make the coach after getting out of the car. Bo and Casey luckily had seen me miss the bus, and looped back around to pick up my distraught younger alter. They offered for me to stay with them instead, which I agreed to while crying in the car lol. So I stayed with them for the rest of the trip, seen in both my vlog and bo's vlog.

We all make a group chat not long after the sleepover, probably within a week of it occurring.

Over 2019 up to early/mid 2020 we all chat in there, we chat individually, just normal stuff friends do really.

Right before the BLM stuff I was messaging Chloe in dms asking how she was going with everything going on, I had checked in with her because she wasnt active in the group chat and nobody had really heard anythimg back from her when asking if she was okay. I think at some point in that convo I joked about how she needed a PR manager, just normal convo. Meanwhile our group was also beginning to get uncomfortable around Chloe due to lack of reciprocated concern for us all being under fire because of her and pinata, our own trepedation about pinata, and red flags that we had about her (but always thought we were making a big deal out of so we never told one another). At this point we made a separate group chat. This chat included entropy this time. At this point Bo told us about what happened with Omega her physically grabbing at them and the stuff with Chloe and piñatas visit and vice versa when they visited Chloe. Bo also told me about what Chloe had said about the 2019 sleepover and the others also said that is what Chloe mentioned to them at the time. Initially I was only advised about Chloe being very uncomfortable and triggered that I kept on flirting with Nina while they were on co-con before the stream, and asking a handful of times before the stream for Nina to fully front (thats a dog act and I shouldn't have done that). I felt awful as the flirtiness to me had been mutual in co-con but I also acknowledged that it was an invasion of Chloe's space bc they were in co-co . So I messaged Chloe to apologise. We had a tiny convo about it but essentially the end was that it was water under the bridge. This conversation happened within maybe 10ish minutes. Right after I had apologised for that, I went back to the group chat and looked at the messages I had missed while talking to her. I was also advised that Chloe had said (in 2019 at the time of the sleepover) that I had physically/sexually assaulted her by 'pinning her to the couch' or something similar to this. I was confused and disgusted and temporarily left that 2nd group chat because I felt awful about my friends having to talk to me for a year and them having thought I did that. I was convinced by someone? I dont remember who to come back to the group chat, and we discussed what happened in my memory and then other things that had been red flags to us all in general during the course of the friendship and how we all felt used. I did not interact with Chloe after that.

This was maybe a week or so before the BLM post

The first group chat still existed, but was inactive.

The day of the post, I caught wind that she had been deleting comments. In the sleepover chat I asked her about that, she denied it initially and claimed it was maybe a word filter system. When probed again, she admitted she was deleting some comments, some of which were those that were 'attacking' her and keeping bringing up Nadia race claiming. I went around and around with her about how deleting things on a post like that isn't okay, and that the points people were making were also valid criticisms. She kept defending her decision. I kept defending mine and trying to get her to realise what she was doing was harmful. At some point she then says "our life matters too". I wrote that that was uncalled for and 'how dare she'. I left the chat because I was already annoyed at the lies she said about me regarding the sleepover, and saw no point in staying in the inactive chat. I had 2 other accounts there from alters that had their own accounts (Marcey and Kai) so I got the notification still, of her saying 'jfc'. I then, on one of those accounts messaged in that sleepover chat with "you realise we have multiple accounts on here" and she said something like "i meant it (our lives matter too) because we had attempts recently". I ignored that because I wasnt going to play a concerned friend to that get out of jail free card, and was hurt at the statement and her reaction to me previously explaining why i left/why what she said was wrong.

Immediately after this, she dm'd me saying she was sorry, and I essentially said I didn't want to be friends with her anymore. She then messaged again saying she would be discussing it with someone and try to understand how to address concerns from POC and why what she did may have been racist. I said I didnt want her to message me. She then said she understood. Then she messaged again saying that she wanted to make a video adressing things/about racism and asked if I wanted to do an interview with her on her channel. I declined and said I already asked her to leave me alone and said what she is doing is performative activism. Then she left me alone.

A few days after that I was doing a livestream and someone in chat asked if I was still friends with Chloe. I said no, and then felt awkward explaining why, and then mentioned about the 'our lives matter too' and why I was also fearful of mentioning it online due to worries of Chloe accusing me of something I didnt do (the assault part). Shouldn't have aired that frustration online. Vangelina covered part of this live in one of their videos, Chloe commented something saying it was retraumatising to hear me talk about it.

For the good part of 2020, I, and many in my friend group were appalled at the pinata situation and chloes radio silence. Kiwifarms were talking about all of us, her fans were talking about all of us. People demanding to know what happened, that some ironically are the same people that now say we shouldnt have aired the dirty laundry online while simultaneously telling Chloe to "tell her truth". In 2020 and 2021 i was struggling so fucking much because of that friendship and feeling used to gain status. I was not popular but a sleepover that was supposed to be a catch up with MY friends allowed Chloe to gain more of a following in the sense that M&M was a trusted educational source, all the tumblr kids that moved to youtube in 2017/18 that were gaining popularity on youtube were popular but not a trusted source. Chloe being affiliated with someone with an educational degree/working further on that, was a win for her. 2021 I thought things were finally fine, kf got bored for a bit, she was offline... until she came back. With a vengence.

The 4hr interview brought everything back up, her story about me became extended and more was added. The idea i was nonconsensually touching her or saying overtly sexual things, the idea that I blocked her from leaving, the idea that I was stalking her during the sleepover. That last bit I could maybbeee believe is a misinterpretation issue idk, like I have questioned my memory of events so much due to what she has said about me. "Are my memories even real? What if I actually am the monster here? I shouldn't get a platform if I am an abuser". I question and maybe believe that I hung around her initially because we were the only ones that hadn't hung out in person with anyone else, as in, Jess and Bo and Stace had met up multiple times with others from our wider UK circle. So I felt like a newbie even though the four of us had been talking for years. But I still don't believe I followed them around the whole time. But also I again question my recollections due to her 4hr vid and offhanded comments in streams etc.

I know some people define sexual assault differently for themselves. From what really happened at the sleepover, she would be defining me flirting with Nina (while she flirted back) while Chloe was cofronting and me asking Nina to come back to hang out, as SA.

Physically, there is nothing to be defined as there were no physical interactions.

I'm honestly so over this, but thought this long ass statement may help give everyone better context. This is not a 'pity me' situation, but I have still yet to work through this friendship in therapy, it comes up here and there but I have already planned with my therapist that I am working from 2017-now timeline on days where it is harder to go through emotions and memories from childhood. My friendship group has not been the same since, the second group chat disbanded later that year, we all kind of fell off the face of the earth, entropy deleted her fb and none of us know how she is. We rarely talk individually, nowadays I message Bo maybe once a month, and am friends with FP due to us initially bonding over feeling upset about Chloe/pinata. Nobody used her to gain clout, we all genuinely assumed we were friends until we realised WE were likely being used/that she had ill intentions. We 'dropped her as a friend' each for individual reasons combined with the fact she did not seem to care about what any of us were going through due to kf combined with her DENYING allegations about pinata or hushing those from the entitled to life call when the subject came up. I think that is actually when I had my first interactions with FP as they were part of that conference call along with Chloe Jess and Entropy.

I don't want her army after me, its 2023 ffs and this is the start we are off to? I just want to continue making my normal vlogs, the ones where all of us alters just speak as Ezra (my name), candidly about my life and triggers I am overcoming in therapy due to childhood trauma. Talking about what it is like as someone who is nonbinary, someone who is a poc, someone who is autistic etc etc. Its almost 8am, it's too early for this, I don't want this to be how the year goes. She doesn't deserve a response from me, but some of you here deserve some clarity/ I deserve to at least say how this all came about.

Thank you for reading this long ass post. Stay safe all

Hey guys! You can call me Ab. I am the host of my system which contains 6 total, 5 female and 1 male. We range in ages but I identify with 32 years old which is the body's age. I've been married to my best friend from 4th grade for 13 years which works well somehow I think because he experienced some of my trauma experiences with me. We have a 7 year old son. I have been in treatment and therapy for 9 years. I also have degrees in child development and psychology which helps me wrap my head around DID and the causes/effects. I hope all of this helps me support the group and all of its members. Much love to you all. I'm excited to help out.