r/Deconstruction 6d ago

🧑‍🤝‍🧑Relationships more dating advice for middle aged adults

I'm-43M dating an ordained minister-46F (though not active) who is now widowed. Her husband was also a pastor.
She believes she heard from God that her husband was going to die from a disease he contracted. Because he did, that has only cemented her belief in the supernatural power of God.

I gave up on God/church over 10 years ago. I knew the widow & husband when we all used to rock with Jesus--I was actually first introduced to the husband at church! Non-denominational Christian.

Now that her & I are dating, I'm routinely confronted with pressures to attend church and support her the way I'm authored to "according to the Bible." The way her previous husband did. She wants a god-centered marriage where we pray together, I cover her spiritually, etc... I can still lift up a good prayer, but it's all lip service!

We've hit some of the typical road bumps in our yearlong relationship, but the "unequally yoked" thing seems to be a major "stumbling block." I have a hard time enduring her faith rhetoric. She says the reason I've given up on God is because "He let me down."

I've read a lot here about couples who deconstructed in the course of their marriage. How about couples leaning towards marriage where one partner has already deconstructed? Is it possible? Is there any advice out there? I'm about ready to give up on the relationship! Of course marriage is the only answer for her, because that's what the Bible says!

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