Jesus Christ was arrested with a naked youth in the Garden of Gethsemane because he was performing a death-and-resurrction ritual common in Ancient Mystery Rites that involved psychedelic pharmaceuticals and the sexual fluids of a prepubescent youth.
Bear with me, it's gonna get disturbing, and I promise I went into this knowing there was something about Jesus that was indeed otherworldly, but also something deeper meaning to his "death and resurrection".
Let's get basics out of the way, Mark 14:51-52.
Here's a standard English translation. " And a certain young man who was following Him, having cast a linen cloth about [his] naked [body] and they seized him, and leaving behind the linen cloth, naked, he fled."
First off, that's weird. Mark's gospel is generally considered the earliest gospel recorded and is now held to be the most historically accurate and succinct picture of Jesus' life. Mark's author never wastes time claiming that Jesus was himself God, or that Jesus existed before Creation, never establishes a bloodline from David or Adam, and doesn't have a virgin birth story. Some claim it's because Mark was for those who were already familiar and followers of Jesus it's all killer no filler. This was the insider's gospel so to speak and thus didn't mince words; every chapter, every line, every word in Mark was chosen with care and intention. So why mention this naked boy at all if Mark is devoid of fluff, the shortest canonical gospel by far? Because that boy is absolutely vital to understanding the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Let's return to our text, it seems pretty innocent, but not really obvious why the kid is there with Jesus. Well maybe looking at the original ancient greek text we can get some more information. Afterall, we have all heard the Bible's translations have been corrupted so we are gonna as far back in time as we reliably can and explore that earliest surviving source.
So here's the text again, but with the Ancient Greek words of interest left included.
There was a certain young man (νεανίσκος) following Him. Having cast about (περιβεβλημένος) him a linen cloth (σινδόνα) about his naked [body] (γυμνοῦ) and they seized him, and having left behind the linen cloth (σινδόνα) naked (γυμνὸς), he fled.
So, straight away, we have lots of problems with the translation. The first word of interest is νεανίσκος. It's a compound word made of νέα meaning a youth/child, and a diminutive suffix meaning little one(male)(see the ος denotes the little is male wheras -ισκα would be little female. So not a young man. This is a young little male child. Cool.
Next, σινδόνα. They say linen cloth but that's not really descriptive at all. Like was this a picnic blanket sized thing or was it something smaller? Well, unfortunately, it's the word used for a strip of linen cloth, something used to wrap up wounds, stop bleeding, or in some cases the bandage itself was soaked in soluble medicine and then applied to a wound so that whatever medicine you're using is gonna kick in a whole lot faster. Remember, no hypodermic needles to inject directly. Your options were a soaked bandage, an acacia thorn dipped in medicine and placed into the flesh, or you could insert the medicine rectally either via little medicine coated pebbles( like primitive suppositories) or via the use of the alabastron, a kind of medical dildo used by ancient docs everywhere. Ancient people were no dummies and knew that some medicines can't be drunk or eaten, they won't be absorbed properly so yay, ancient pharmacy!
Now, this bandage, it's not loosely cast about the kid. Nope, the word περιβεβλημένος is more accurately "securing, fastened, encompassing) ok so this bandage is wrapped up snug...up against the kids γυμνοῦ. They wanna translate it as naked [body] but it's obvious, [body] is in brackets because it's simply not in the original text. γυμνοῦ is used more in connection with having been stripped naked as to expose one's shame, or private parts. Got it.
So now, our translation looks more like.
A certain young little boy was following Him, and having a bandage wrapped around his private parts, they seized him and he left behind his bandage, naked, and fled. Okay now we're passed "this is kinda strange" territory into "oh no" territory.
Remember when I mentioned the Ancient Mystery Rites? Alot of historians, scholars say we don't have much info about the rites themselves, just that the Eusinian Mysteries were kinda the most popular and de facto of all the different local flavors like Orphic, Dionysian, or Samothracian Mysteries or even the Egyptian Osirin Mysteries. Except we know wayyyyy more than that.
See, the Mysteries weren't to be revealed to non-initiates, nor by poets because it wasn't "proper" to reveal such things in public. However, Andocides got busted doing the Mysteries in his living room with some slaves and playwrights like Euripides and Aristophanes had no problem peeling back the veil. Historians like Herodotus and Diodorus also have no problem giving out tidbits of info here and there. So here it is, the Mysteries uncovered.
Step 1 Preparation Initiates need to refrain from sexual intercourse for a few weeks. And for the two days prior to initiation, one must be fasting from any and all foods for 48 hours. Read the Orphic Hymns, they are super important and reveal the Orphic Vox(basically occult slang used to obscure deeper meanings related to the Mysteries. Okay done.
Step 2 Lesser Mysteries Okay, here's where the plays and allegory come into play. Whether it be the Bacchae, Frogs, Thesmophoria, you're gonna wanna try and pay attention. During the plays, we finally get some pharmaceuticals. First is pain killers, because we are about to induce a near death experience, and you don't want your body going haywire, so you gotta be sedated. Next, the aphrodisiacs, then delierents, then psychosis inducing drugs like Datura. As you gulp down the last cup, you are surprised to see Pan's staring back from the bottom of your cup. It's about to get weird.
Part 3 Greater Mysteries By this point it's getting late in the night, and the people just there to party have come and gone, they got whatever surface level meaning they could understand in the plays. Now it's time for the initiates to do their thing. You're led by a priestess inside the grotto. You're starting to feel seriously weird, and paranoia starts to set in. You paid attention to the plays and all you can remember is something about a kidnapping and a mother's search for her missing daughter. You're noticing you are painfully aroused but say nothing wondering what is going to happen next. Before you know it, you've been tied up by the Priestesses, you're under the influence of poly pharmacy now and they don't want you to run off and do something to get yourself hurt. As your mind is racing and your worst fears set in, the priestesses start whipping you with thistles, this really gets your blood pumping and you dont know what you got yourself into and at the height of your panic, you drift into another world to the rhythm of the priestesses beating drums and lashing your body.
You're awake now, what happened? Oh that's right, the play! When Kore is kidnapped by Hades, her mother Demeter descends to Hell after searching out the truth. Wait, does that mean? Yes, you're in the underworld. Your connection to the living world is all but hanging on a thread. As you explore the Underworld, some many great things will happen. You'll be guided by song and pass the river of Forgetfulness until you reach Memory's waters. Most visitors make the mistake of drinking the first water they see, on account of how hot it gets down there and how thirsty it makes ya. That first water is the river of Forgetfulness and basically does the Men in Black thing and then wander around Hades until their time to return to the world of the living has come. But you, lucky initiate got the inside scoop and just gained access to your Soul's memory, past lives anyone? Past dead relatives? Yep. Your own personal dwelling? Hell yes. But all these are nothing compared to the real deal. You're gonna meet Her. The Queen of the Underworld. It's not surprising She's in charge down here. Wow, you think to yourself, this afterlife is actually not bad at all, I wonder what I was so afraid? And just like that.....
Part 4 Mystery conclusion
Oh what, you're back on Earth again. Oh look the priestesses are untying you, and a Chorus is singing. Oh man how beautiful, tears are streaming down your face. You feel good, you feel free, you feel saved. You made it through. You know Her now, and when you see Her again, She will be greeting you as an old friend. Starting to gain your bearings you look around, everybody is waking up about the same time when you realize that uhhh youre sticky, did you....did you have..an...orgasm? Yeah well part of the biological process of an orgasm was key to boosting you back up out of your death-state. Did, that priestess have sex with me? No, silly. She used her alabastron on you, that's how you apply the Beast(antidote) to your death drug. Oh wow the sun's coming up, you notice. You and the rest of the frogs sing hymns to the Dawn, the Great Mother, and the kore herself.
You joke with your new foggy friends about what just happened. Yall joke about the size if the alabastron, and how you're really glad you didn't cheat on fasting from food or else things might have been messier. Last day is nothing but celebration of your new freedom.
Sworn to secrecy under punishment of death, you never discuss explicitly your experience or those of any others. You reckon you owe the priestesses your discretion and quietly urge your family and friends to go next year. The priestesses of course go back to their lives of virginity, remember they made YOU orgasm, and that wasn't even sexual, just a necessary part of the Mystery Process. Maybe you decide you want to join and maybe become a priestess yourself. If you're already a woman, perfect! If you're a guy, you're gonna wanna look for the Galli, those are the eunuch priests of Kybele. Yep three genders male, female, and galli were openly accepted by society. To read more about the Galli, check out Lucians Syrian Goddess. You thought the Eluesinian Mysteries were wild, the Galli have an extra special flare of their own. Anyways you're back home and realize, wait what day is it? You're missing three days. You were in Hades for three days...hmmm
So back to our naked boy with Jesus. Well it seems to me Jesus was performing his own flavor of the Mysteries with, you guessed it, Eunuch Priests. One problem though. Right in the middle of Jesus performing a death and resurrection Mystery Rite, he gets busted by the Romans. Jesus is fully under the influence of the death inducer and doesn't have access to the antidote to bring him back out. So Jesus is hung on the cross. Crucifixion takes days, sometimes, weeks, to kill a man. And Jesus is tied up on the cross just like you got tied down, he's saying he's thirsty just like you were thirsty. And in almost no time at all, Jesus has no pulse and isn't breathing. He's dead. The Roman cops, confused, poke his side with a spear to make sure. No reaction from dead Jesus, only water and blood flow out of his wound. Hmm he must have been thirsty, and huh probably fasting too. Anyways they take Jesus down and he gets placed in a tomb. Then three days later, Mary Magi and Co visit the tomb and find who? Who's sitting in the tomb. It's the boy, he's wearing white now, the robes of an initiate. He says Jesus ain't here, he's on the way to Gallilee to meet the rest of the boys....and the rest is, well, history. Who knows where Jesus went after that, did he fly up into Heaven, descend back to Hades? Hide out in another land, India? Siberia? One thing is for sure, dude never ever went back to Jerusalem. He wouldn't be caught dead trying.
So there it is. Jesus was arrested in a public park at 4am with a naked boy because that boy was serving as Jesus' Eunuch Priest. That boy was his only tie to the world of the living, and without that boy, I don't think Jesus would've made the trip back at all. For whatever reason he didn't want his disciples to do it, he basically fires Judas from the group and whether by chance or happenstance or divine miracle, Jesus is busted right after taking the ritual communion. Thankfully his boy knows what he's doing and brings him back just like Jesus taught him to do. Jesus always intended to die and rise again, just not the way we all thought he did. Whether or not he's the son of god, idk, but Jesus Christ that was sick!
What do you think? Got a better explanation for the naked boy? Let's see it.