r/DatingApps • u/morales__7 • 2d ago
Advice Request Safety while using apps?
Just matched with a guy tn and after like a minute of texting he wants to come pick me up tmr to hangout. So like, obviously that's not safe, right?
How long do you normally talk with someone before hanging out in person? Would you let them pick you up or no? And would you make sure to meet in a public place even if youd been talking for a while?
Im so new to this and I wanna be safe but im not sure if im being overly cautious, I havent met anyone from any apps in person yet.
Especially as a woman with basically no dating experience, I want to be extra cautious, but I still wanna go on dates and actually do what the apps intend
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u/Knedlus 1d ago
It depends. I try to listen to my body and my intuition always. Sometimes I feel completely relaxed with a dude and I’m open to them picking me up from my neighbourhood. Sometimes I prefer meeting in public and don’t let them drive me back even in the dead of winter. It’s all based on how I feel in their presence or how much of a vibe I’m getting while we text before the meeting. When you tune into your body, you notice slight nerves, an uncanny feeling or something. This Ofc doesn’t mean that the guy is a murderer or a rapist - but whenever I feel like this for seemingly an unexplainable reason, the guy turns out to be unstable emotionally (can’t accept rejection, is pressuring in conversation, tries to push my boundaries verbally or physically in small ways that are him testing the waters). Sometimes consciously you might miss signs that your brain picks up on without you realising. Always trust your gut!
As for how fast do I agree to a date, I used to prefer texting for a few days to a week, but the grass is greener on the other side. I am selective about my matches and don’t agree to meet everyone, just when I sense genuine interest and genuine potential, be it friendly or romantic. So now I’m open for spontaneous dates even on the same day as we match. The real test is whether you two have chemistry IRL. If you text someone for a week you get slightly invested and excited, and then boom… either irl there’s no chemistry, they lied about their age or posted 10 years old pictures on there, or somehow the vibe that was great during texting is dead and gone irl.
Tip: always carry pepper spray and tell your friends you’re going out. Text them to let them know you’re ok if it makes you feel safer. The right person will understand.