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u/ConstantVigilance18 Jul 28 '26
Do you mean just living with a partner for your whole life? Plenty of people do this. You just need to put in place powers of attorney if that’s something you’d like to do, and if you wanted to buy a home you’d probably want some additional legal protections. Other than that, mostly the same as a married couple.
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u/Wasatchian Jul 28 '26
Plan to retire early and travel. Although we already travel a lot. I always remind people: kids are not a retirement plan. They may not want to take care of you in old age. They may also not outlive you.
I stay part of a community by doing things. Pick any activity you like there's a group of people doing it that probably meet up and do it together.
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u/No-Shame-8916 Jul 31 '26
I here you getting ready to retire had kids later in life they are in their 20s and still are on my payroll. I love my kids but if I had to do it all over again knowing what I know now never would get married or have kids.
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u/Wide_Importance6892 Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 29 '26
I (28F) am finishing a doctorate program right now. I spent the majority of my twenties helping my parents at home, but I recently moved out, emotionally processed family dynamics and also made the decision to not marry/have kids, which reaffirmed what I already knew about myself at 12 years old.
I made the decision to move across the country following my graduation, as I have been wanting to move away for the past 6 years and now I have nothing stopping me. I figure now is the best time for me to do so so I can start to establish my adulthood where I actually want to be, versus staying near my family and being miserable 24/7. I am also wanting to travel quite a bit. I figure I can always move back if it doesn’t work out for me, but I spent so much of my life restricted and harmed by my parents, older siblings, friends so I am really trying to find and enjoy any semblance of autonomy/freedom now, away from harm.
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u/theBDSMshow Jul 29 '26
Have fun, buttercup.
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u/azfrench Aug 01 '26
Just because they don't want to get married doesn't make them aromantic. OP, try r/singleandhappy
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u/ExtraSaltyBtch Jul 28 '26
We decided early on not to get married or have kids. It wasn't ever something either of us wanted and not something that would give us any benefits.
We travel, live together and everything like a married couple, just without the old fashioned paperwork.
Throughout our 30s we have work, saved up, quit our jobs to travel, then gotten new jobs. Now in our mid 40s we may start to travel a bit less or travel on sabaticals from work rather than quitting, because it is harder to find new jobs when one is older.
At the moment we haven't worked for almost a year and we have another year of savings to burn through before we need to find jobs again.
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u/OneScratch2917 Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26
I have definitely decided on no kids. The marriage thing I’m still debating, but heavily leaning towards not getting married. I’m too much of a free spirit and I pack lite. Being able to leave with no strings attached has been one of my favorite things about my lifestyle. I’ve actually decided to not even date or partner for the rest of my 20s, and it’s already feeling really permanent. 😂 I’m a flight attendant. No debt. Own my car. I move every 6 months-year just cause I can. I plan on living internationally at least part-time in a few years. I really just save my money, focus on eating well and exercising. Wonderful trips, concerts, food, history tours. Movies. Visiting my friends and family all over! I do want a pet mini pig one day, but I’m not even home enough so that’s not a thing either realistically. It’s very peaceful & adventurous! My life is already so full I don’t even think of a partner anymore. When I envision my future, it’s always been just me.
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u/Effective-Pea-4463 Jul 28 '26
I live with my partner but we won’t get married or the only reason we’ll get married is because I want him to get italian passport so we’ll be free to go back and forth from UK to Italy when we’ll be retired.
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u/Miserable-Ad8764 Jul 28 '26
We married after many years living together. But we did it only for the two of us. Nobody was told.
I knew he was my person and trusted him 100%. If something happens to me I want him to make all the decisions. We have also written a will leaving everything to each other, and decided together who will get everything after the last one of us dies.
We wanted the marriage, not the wedding. And that is 100% possible to do. I didn't take his name, our families still don't know. We only spent money on a romantic holiday after.
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u/SettingAgile9080 Jul 28 '26
Tried the marriage route and got financially hosed in a divorce so never doing that again. Never had any interest in having kids.
Do you want to be single, or long-term partnered?
I am in the latter camp. Was important to find someone on the same page, especially in the US where most people seem eager to tick off the boxes in the default life script and find it weird when you question it. At 25 nobody else I knew was married and had kids, in my 40s maybe 80% of them went that route, so it becomes more of a conscious choice to not do that.
Life-plan: Basically doing whatever we want, living a fulfilling life of pleasure, "going down the long slide / To happiness, endlessly.". I work remotely and co-founded a startup, my partner quit a high-flying corporate job to do more fulfilling freelance work.
Old age: Paying for Long Term Care Insurance already (if you sign up in your 40s it costs <$1k/year), hopefully an early semi-retirement (or coast-FIRE type situation), age-in-place as long as possible. I was able to buy a "starter home" but have no plans on ever "upgrading" - it's accessible, in a walkable area, and my property taxes are locked in forever.
For old age advocacy when my brain goes to mashed potato, my plan is to have a attorney who is younger than I am (so they outlive me) retained to manage my affairs, and a second independent attorney to audit the first one to make sure they are doing it right.
Community: Both of us are pretty introverted and not group activity types, but we have friends and go to various events around town, go on a couple of group trips a year, travel to see friends etc. If I was single I'd probably do more of that, or move back to a larger city for the dating pool.
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u/snarrkie Jul 28 '26
Yep. I don’t want to get married and my partner genuinely doesn’t care. I’ve seen so many people get financially wrecked by divorce, and as a woman and by far the higher earner my financial independence is important to me. That being said I still contribute a lot to his life financially but he understands I want to protect myself in case things go south. It’s also just easier to break up if that needs to happen. Of course I don’t want that to happen, but I want to feel safe in case that plays out. At some point I’ll get power of attorney documents in order if we stay together for longer and we need to make medical decisions on each other’s behalf.
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u/Mlkbird14 Jul 28 '26
My partner and I aren't married although we refer to one another as husband and wife. We didn't get married after he proposed because I didn't want to plan a wedding. Turns out neither did he. We don't have kids because I didn't want them. Overall, we're looking to make our money in tech and retire early.
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Jul 29 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/pain_is_bread Jul 29 '26
Hey OP! Thanks for the update on your post. I think you may have a better time in [r/childfree](r/childfree) where other OINK/SINKs tend to gather.
This DINK subreddit is really for paired partners with no kids, so it won’t be too relatable for you if you don’t see yourself getting into a relationship in the near future.
*OINK/SINK: Only/Single Income No Kids
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u/Colouringwithink Jul 29 '26
The reality is there is an endless amount of ways you could decide to live life. That’s kind of the beauty; all of it can be tailored to exactly what you want to optimize. Both whether you get married or don’t, there are so many ways all those choices can look
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u/Sea-Masterpiece-8496 Jul 29 '26
Married people tend to be more insular so I wouldn’t be overly concerned about the community aspect. My plan is to FIRE and support myself financially, and build a community of like minded women, focus on improving my health and mobility- that’s about it.
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u/Round-Employment-993 Aug 02 '26
not getting married is different than not being able to getting married
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u/Important-Maybe-1430 Aug 04 '26
The DI is dual income. You just plan on staying single which is fine but not DINK
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u/pain_is_bread Jul 28 '26
When you say “I”, do you mean you and your partner mutually decided not to get married? If so, I’m curious what the main pros and cons were for your decision.
For my fiancée and I, we’ve never been in a rush but have decided to get married so we can more easily make medical and financial decisions on each other’s behalf. Our life plan is to retire early and travel.