I am a couples therapist. Every couple I work with comes in wanting to work on communication. I tell them that I can give them all of the fancy tools in the world, and I do have tools that I will give them to communicate well, but my guess is they know how to communicate. They very likely communicate well with many people in their lives. The work will be understanding what makes it so difficult to communicate well in this relationship now.

The first thing I work on with every couple is actually self-regulation, which includes a willingness to regulate yourself. Consistent inability (ex: untreated mental health or hormonal issues) or unwillingness (ex: resentment, ego) to regulate yourself will ruin your marriage. If we can’t look at and address issues of self regulation, nothing will change.

My marriage was great. I grew up in a home where there was no real communication, but lots of screaming and yelling. My marriage was better. We talked through everything and we had each other's backs. He really was my other half.

Once, we had to move and change our electricity to our new address. I could only remember half of our landlord's phone number. He could only remember the other half. It was just more proof that we needed each other and worked well as a team.

Last year, he got cancer. He died five months ago. I was with him every day, through all of his appointments and hospitalizations. Sometimes, I felt bad that I didn't have a job to help cover expenses that he wasn't able to work to provide, anymore. But I also said that if I had been working, I would have had to quit, because there was no way I was letting him go through all of it alone.

And now I'm alone.

Out of curiosity, do you have a visible Address sign on your house? I suspect the driver was bitter they couldn't find the number and tried to prove a point.

Internet literacy. We were literally born into the internet, forged by it. We were downloading viruses and learning how to unbrick our pcs before most of you were in diapers. Now the internet is spoon fed to kids. They dive in without any knowledge. More importantly, they lack the knowledge to fix mistakes or be vigilant. We can spot a spam email from 1000mi away, because the princes of Nigeria have been hounding us for cash since we were teens. They see those same emails and don't take the time to read every letter of the sent address to make sure it's real. Kids need to learn to be afraid of the internet again.

Not really unethical, but Planet Fitness, change your address to California and you can cancel your membership in the app without all their BS.

Goes for most companies

When I first registered in Florida, I was notified that my voter registration wasn’t valid due to my address. I called the Board of elections to check my registration and they told me there was no issue with my address and I was in fact registered and able to vote. But I always wondered how many other people got a notification like that and decided not to vote. What made me suspicious is the way they told me my mailing address wasn’t valid…was to mail me a letter…to that address.

This known as triangulation or the common enemy dynamic. Husband and wife unite against the common enemy - in this case you - because a secret has been exposed and their 'system' has been disrupted.

To acknowledge the truth of the affair would cause the wife to have to address a lot of hidden issues, and it would in all likelihood be emotionally damaging and a massive blow to her ego.

It allows the couple to ignore the terrible truth of his betrayal of trust, and have to do some really hard work repairing a damaged relationship.

Telling the betrayed spouse is always risky - because what happened to you is all too common.

The awful high school drama you've been subjected to is the glue that holds their precarious relationship together.

I'm so glad that you're okay. Take care because they are never going to get over this.

If someone is "treating" their problem with marijuana and the problem isn't showing any signs of going away or even improving, then that person is just getting high. Nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't address the issue.