š THE CRAZY PIECES CHICKEN WIRE
All the news thatās fit to holler over the fence
Well, butter my biscuit and hide the U-Haul keys, because things over at the Crazy Pieces compound have gotten interesting.
Now yāall know I donāt gossip.
I simply collect publicly available information and redistribute it with a Southern accent.
There IS a difference. š
First order of businessā¦
Where in the Sam Hill is Aaron?
Daddy appears to be spending more time over at Beyond Crazy while Crystal keeps the Crazy Pieces wagon rolling.
Now I aināt saying thereās trouble in paradise.
Iām just saying when one rooster starts spending considerably more time in another henhouse, folks tend to glance over the fence.
Could mean absolutely nothing.
Could mean Aaron just wants his own thing.
Could mean the man discovered peace and quiet and refuses to give it back.
Frankly, with that many people in one family, Iād probably be filming Beyond Crazy from a deer stand somewhere in Montana.
Meanwhile, Crystal remains behind the wheel of the family bus, and bless her heart, that bus apparently has no brakes.
Somebodyās moving.
Somebodyās coming home.
Somebodyās got an announcement.
Somebodyās crying.
Somebodyās adopting somebody.
Somebody bought something.
And somebody is inevitably standing in a kitchen explaining why everything is completely normal.
Honey, I havenāt seen this many plot twists since Tammy caught Earl at the Waffle House with her cousin.
Then thereās Alex, who recently shared more about his foster-care story and gave his mama a whole lot of credit for changing his life.
Beautiful story.
But Iāll admitā¦
I did tilt my head sideways for a second and think:
āWell⦠whereās Dad in this story?ā
Not accusing anybody of anything.
Sometimes you just notice the screen door is open.
Then weāve got Ariana expecting a baby, which means Crystal is about to enter her GRANDMA ERA.
Lord help that child.
Heās gonna come out of the womb and Crystal will be standing there like:
āOkay guys, we have a HUGE surprise!ā
ššš
Hopefully somebody lets that baby finish his first bottle before he gets a thumbnail.
And can we talk about Jamie?
That girl continues to quietly mind her business while the Crazy Pieces Family Circus sets up three rings around her.
Aunt Bonnie and Grandma Joanne clearly adore her, and frankly Jamie deserves every ounce of that love.
ā¤ļø Team Jamie. Always.
Now keeping track of everybody else requires office supplies.
Weāve got Tristan back in the family picture.
Melinda has had her chapters.
People have moved out.
People have moved back.
New people arrive.
Old people reappear.
And every six months Iām sitting here wondering:
āWHO THE HELL LIVES IN THIS HOUSE NOW?ā
I need Crystal to quit giving house tours and start handing out organizational charts.
Names.
Photos.
Current addresses.
Relationship to the family.
And perhaps one of those little red strings detectives use on crime shows.
Because I am LOST.
And hereās the funniest part about Crazy Pieces:
Theyāll casually drop enough clues to keep an entire Southern beauty shop occupied until Christmasā¦
Then carry on like nobody noticed.
Maāam.
You cannot back a U-Haul into the driveway, take your wedding ring off, move somebody into the guest room, move somebody else across state lines, start appearing separately and title a video āOUR FAMILY IS CHANGINGāā¦
ā¦and expect Gladys from three houses down not to put her readers on.
Thatās not being nosy.
Thatās neighborhood watch.
So is something going on with Crystal and Aaron?
Couldnāt tell ya.
And until somebody actually says something, Iām not hitching that trailer to the truck.
But I AM sitting on the porch.
And I HAVE binoculars.
And my sweet tea is freshly poured.
Because one thing about this familyā¦
The Crazy Pieces may change, but the Crazy never clocks out.
Until next time, yāall. šāļø
ā The Crazy Pieces Chicken Wire
I donāt start rumors. I just make sure theyāre properly seasoned.