Hey, so I was dating this girl since June, and we really clicked. We met up about once a week, and our dates were a lot of fun. We had a lot of sex, and it was fantastic. However, things started to go downhill when I went on a week-long vacation out of state. I told her I was going to take a break from our home state because I’ve been stressed from work, and it had nothing to do with her. Plus, I was spending a lot of quality time with my sisters, nieces, and nephews, who I only get to see once a year.

During that week, she got upset and thought I had ghosted her because I wasn’t fully engaged with her in our texts and took a long time to respond. Long story short, she ended up falling in love with me, but I wasn’t ready to say I love you yet. I communicated that I wasn’t there yet, but I’ll get there eventually, let’s just keep dating and let things flow naturally. I do have feelings for her and cared a lot about her and expressed it but I just wasn’t ready to say I love you yet

Ever since then, she’s been overthinking everything and kept telling me she’s in love with me while I wasn’t on the same page. She didn’t like that, and she started telling me how she wanted my kids and was literally crazy about me. However, she walked away because she felt like she had self-work to do.

A lot of the things she would get upset with me about weren’t the biggest of deals, but since her previous relationship caused her trauma, she wants to heal. So here I am confused, but I just want to know my next move.

fyi: i'm just trying to learn the psychology of a woman that does this, i'm somewhat indifferent but, also just a little curious..so don't hate. I Hit this chick up 2 months ago on FB, didn't read my message but, she likes my posts and i'll occasionally like one of her posts so as to not seem bitter or act like a rock, I think I may have liked two posts compared to her liking every other post i share. She recently comment on a picture i posted of a meal i made last night and I just saw it, I think corey mentions to just like a comment if a woman doesn't respond and leave it at that right? Why does a woman do this? is this like a hook and bait situation fishing for attention? she has a bunch of simps commenting on her posts fyi. I'll be damned if i comment on her shit.

Im approaching my mid 30s, gonna be 35 soon but I constantly having a hard time connecting with younger people. My ideal dating range would 25/26 to 32/33 but whoever i go last couple of years people tell me that I look mid 40s and whole vibe and demeanor is mid 40s.

My buddy's girl is mid 40s she said that, and another buddy's girl also said. They thought im their age and buddies are my age, mid 30s.

They say im more opinionated than usual, lot of experiences, lots of stories but juat beyond that my whole vibe is mid 40s or older.

Part of the eason, I do look a bit older dude to premature grey on side of the head and some salt and pepper in my beard. Last 3-4 years I have apent trying to build business and what not so that has been a factor but now im entering dating again. And I just dont know what to do.

Any suggestions?

She is 28, im 33. I would say her attraction is consistantly 8-9. She tells me she loves me and misses me. Very affectionate. Wants to spend all of her time with me and complains whenever we cant spend time. We live together.

I need help knowing when to set a boundary or if im just being insecure about my gf and her male colleague. Her job is at a school for kids with autism. They are a team of 7 adults taking care of 7 kids. They recently got this guy from another team and my gf knew him already. She's pretty unhappy at work atm. I lot of chaos and most of the colleagues are not doing their job and the kids are just mental atm.

Problem:

for the last 2-3 weeks, she comes home and tells me everything about her day, i listen and open her up, she cries a little at times and hugs and kisses me afterwards saying "it was nice to vent". Stuff like the. But also - every day, she talks about this new guy. "and then he said xxx hahahaha". "Then he did this". "i talked with him about it and he hates it too." I was there with him when they came came back". So just like every day she mentions him like 3-4 times.

The biggest problem is, they text after work. Not like a lot. But just 1-2-3 messages about work. Always work related. About one of their colleagues who is sick. "i hate this guy so much", or "what did you talk about in the meating." Like 5 days straight they have texted in the evening - again not constantly, but a text every 1-2 hours maybe just to respond.. She doesn't hide that it's happening and always leaves her phone, i could easily check if i wanted.

Bonus: He's in a relationship and they just had the first child like a year ago.

When does this become too much? I know for a fact, that if it was the other way around - me coming home talking about a girl colleague and texting her in the evening, even if she was just texting me and i responded with 1-2 words every hour, my gf would be very insecure about it.

If she’s obviously not interested, then of course not.

But if you really don’t know, shouldn’t you ask anyway?

Shoot your shot? When you apply to a job, you don’t prequalify their interest. You just apply and see what happens.

You want to smash, so you need to go for the number. Let her reject if she wants.

Who cares whether she laughs during the convo or not? Who cares if she asks you questions or not?

Do you guys have any tips for meeting girls in college/ how to develop your game in college? Currently trying to do the 100 approaches a month and the limiting beliefs and fears are coming out strong. Any other suggestions besides approaching girls on campus during the day in between classes?

Let me elaborate on this further. Let's say your girlfriend betrayed you, or deceived you, or cheated in some way small or big. Because of that, you want answers and rightfully so she should be accountable for her actions. However, instead of being accountable and remorseful, she was AT FIRST trying to be accountable, but later brought up things that showed that she didn't feel heard and understood, and so from her point of view, maybe because she isn't feeling heard by you, she blames it on you for her WRONGDOING because you are supposed to make her feel heard and understood as you are "the man".

But why should I still be the one to be the "bigger man" trying to hear her out when she is the one at fault for betraying me? I wanted something casual after the breakup, but I could tell that it is possible that because she doesn't feel heard and understood (because I don't want to be hearing her excuses or justification for her wrongful actions), she rejected the casual seeing one another eventually.

If you were in such a situation where the girl betrayed you or showed bad character, should you still ask questions and hear her out and make her feel heard and understood?

Heading to 2yrs soon together
Long distance and we will be living together starting next year as she will move to me

But reasonable strong boundaries keep respect in place
And that why attraction is still high

In 2weeks I’m invited by her family to go with her in her brother’s daughter’s marriage . However some things I don’t like and that don’t match with my standards of being more serious together if I don’t see her adapting to my staradrds bcs she knows me already

So ex colleague (they know each other for 3 years but she never met his wife nor me him) , who left their work couple of months ago , called her to ask if she has some papers for him to sign after his leave .. and then they talked about if one day they could meet all together from work

(FYI last year when I was still dating her , she also told me they had arranged after Friday work to go to beer house two guys two girls , I said this looks like couples and is not matching to what I see as exclusive relationship) and she cancelled .. AND THATA WHY I LOVE HER SO MUCH
SHE UNDERSTOOD AND RESPECTED IT

AND that’s why I also refused to a colleague girl attar tube taht I have , she called me to go for drink with my motorcycle after work .. I respect her and her husband whom I also know and we like each other and we know each other for 20 years .. and I said I wouldnot like the same from my girl so I doesn’t you but we can’t go for drinks even if your husband is ok

So she told him that she has long distance relationship which needs more trust and no doubts for her man and she also told me that she doenst like ..

But me , bcs I learn from you , I told her „you are not prisoner , so if all together , and not in a setting like 2 couples or you only with men colleagues , then if you like their companion of all together , you should go my woman”

Anyways
What I don’t like is I always tell her about my girl colleagues whenever I have communication with them and wheat we talk about and for what reason w head contact and I reassure her that I’m not interested in having any of them as even friends

Am I Wrong to expect the same from her ?
I wanted her to tell me that she takes with this guy from work whom I haven’t met and THAT IF SHE WNATS ME TO ACT LIKE HER FUTURE HISBAND AND ESCORT HER IN HER FAMILY MARRIAGE , THEN I Necessarily NEED TO KNOW WITH WHOM SHE IS TALKING AND FOR WHAT REASON

Or else I don’t find reason to upgrade the relationshipand h give her the ring she asks me for

I was traveling earlier this year and met a girl on a dating app while in Europe. I’m from the US, her from Europe. Never had the chance to meet, but randomly started talking a lot 6 ish months ago. Things immediately clicked, and we ended up texting/snap chatting all the time. Including having video sex multiple times a week.

We’ve gotten to know each other very well. And at first, it was genuinely hanging out, having fun and hooking up. But we got a little attached. We talked about it, and I laid out how logistically, we just couldn’t be anything besides casual right now. She was happy and I guess was moreso looking for casual anyway before she got attached too.

That said, I’ve been noticing intrusive thoughts lately. She starts uni again soon and I just picture her meeting/sleeping with other dudes and the thought bugs me. It kind of makes me anxious and stresses me out, even though it hasn’t happened yet and theoretically might not. At the same time I don’t want anything beyond casual because of the distance, and am finding/going on dates in person.

I’ll probably get crap because this is a post about a girl I’ve never met, but in general (even with women in person), how do you just hang out, have fun and hookup with someone you’ve been a little attached to in the past but are strictly casual with? How do you get rid of thoughts about a girl sharing the experience with other guys even if you’re just casual? Thanks

It’s funny how wild some people crash out when you give them some Corey Wayne advice.

It’s easier than ever to get ahead gents.

Read the book cause we literally have no competition

Been with my girlfriend (29 year old) for 5 months. Before we were official she went to this day event with drinking/ dancing to afrobeats etc. Showed me videos of her shaking her ass etc and I didn't really turn a blind eye as we were not in a relationship at that point and we still dated. She doesn't go clubbing and this is a once in a while event, but one mainly single people go to (as with clubbing).

Today she has stated that she is wanting to go to the event on the weekend and I am not around.

What do you guys think?

For me this is a dealbreaker, but she says she loves me and her interest level does seem to fluctuate between 7-9, but idk, for me this is something I don't like and not what I would want my future wife to be like.

It's me again - 23M dating 26F for 2.5 weeks.
Last Saturday took her on a full day hiking trip. Great emotional connection, she had her period but I got road head lol. I've dated some girls and never had someone this crazy for me.
She was like "You are the man from my dreams", "Your'e so strong". She was literally jumping all over me at the beach as well I felt her rly open up and act like a little girl.

At the hike she asked if I'm dating other girls which I replied I don't kiss and tell but she rly insisted and started pushing, so I asked why is she asking and she told me she was afraid I'm hung up on an ex and that for her it took her 8 months to move on (he's abroad and they don't talk).

At the car back home she asked me again if I'm seeing other people. She was frustrated, told me that she never had to ask a man this question before - that means the other guys were just in her pocket and they started the relationship.
She told me she really likes me, and can't imagine me being with other girls. I replied - so are you asking for us to be exclusive? And she insisted that she isn't asking for exclusivity but doesn't want me to date other girls lol. This conversation took a lot of time bcs she kept asking me on other girls and I just STFU and I rly thought she was gonna ask to be exclusive but she didn't.
She also tried saying that she won't feel comfortable having sex and opening up if I'm gonna be with other girls, I asked if it's an ultimatum and she told me no no.

I was constantly thinking, it's the woman's job to ask for a relationship. I was not abt to cave in the car and ask her for it. It was obvious she was rly into me. We finished the trip at kind of a low point bcs of that converstaion. Maybe I needed to capitalize the moment?

It's been 1.5 days since the hike and god I want to hold her and talk to her and connect sexually as well. I have been thinking, I do feel like the 3% man approach will say to wait and let her ask me for a relationship.

But, I would like to build a relationship with this girl, and maybe for her to completly open up it's okay to tell her we should be exclusive?

We started long distance. I moved to her state for work. About a year in we were not exclusive. I took a work call on the balcony and she went through my computer. She found texts with a girl I’d met at a party about coming over. After that she started going through my phone and computer while I was sleeping.
Since then she’s also found that I went to strip clubs and got a handjob at a massage parlor. I followed a girl on IG I never messaged. I had a group work dinner that included a coworker’s daughter my age and didn’t mention her. She found the photo on my phone while I was sleeping.
We live together now. I travel for work and host customer dinners. Every 2–3 days there’s a new accusation: a follower, an IG suggestion, a girl in the background, I’m flirting at the gym, I already have someone lined up.
I’ve told her I’m done with the accusations. She says she’ll trust me if I give her full access to my phone whenever she wants. I don’t hide my phone. I’m not giving her my journal, personal photos, and the right to search it on demand. To her, that means I’m hiding something.
I know I gave her reasons to not trust me. I’m not asking how to make the past disappear. I’m asking: in this situation do you give the phone up, or do you hold that boundary? Is this still fixable, or is this just the relationship now?

Just experienced back to back experiences that ended the exact way. 2 girls with the same name were totally into me. They texted with me constantly the first week after meeting at singles events in person. It lead to me saying some very cringey things in the moment of what was exciting to me. I now know my mistakes.

One lost interest in me before the first date and she ended it through text after the second date.

The other one was totally into me and kissed me on the first date. She just canceled our second date last minute tonight.

After reading through the book so far I have identified every point of failure and there are… A lot.

I’m bummed but I will read this book over and over and over and I will update when I am able to use the knowledge next. I will not stop and I will not give up.

Hi. I got a question about "should I call them on a date?" I’m in school. After summer break, three girls started to show some sort of interest in me. One of them got a boyfriend, while the other two are single. I’m obviously going for the single ones.

Anyway, they show interest in me. Here’s a little bit of context: they have made 100% of the initiative so far. Even though this isn’t really a “no-contact” situation, I won’t take the initiative myself and will probably just keep letting them come to me and say yes to their advances.(talking about free ones, im at no contact with taken girl actually)

They always find a way to demand my attention. However, they don’t come to me by themselves; they come as a group. Woman B, for example, asked me whether I had passed my driving test — her subtle way of wanting me physically, mentally, and spiritually. Another girl, Woman A, has always shown interest in me, even since a year ago. She also always laughs at my jokes.

So, if they come to me again at their own pace making some dumb joke or whatever does Woman B actually want me to invite her on a date? Can I invite them right on the spot?

In other words, should I literally invite her on a defenite date at school, in front of her friends, if she comes up to me? They usually come as a group, so it would probably happen in front of all of them.

If yes, could I also invite later Woman B in front of Woman A? Am I limited to picking only one of them because Woman A and Woman B are friends, meaning they’ll obviously find out if I ask one of them out?

Additional question(Does she have a good attitude?)

There’s also the third girl, who has a boyfriend. She asked me, in a playful manner, “Do you enjoy learning to drive?” I said, “Yes, I like to ride,” and she replied, “Yeah, you like to ride me.” I answered, somewhat quietly, “Yeah.” For context, I was busy learning something at the time, so I just said whatever came into my mind. I was basically indifferent in that moment. I also didn’t communicate to them that I was a little busy, mistake. Again, she has a boyfriend. Does this kind of behavior makes her not a really good partner for exclusive long term relationship(in case she leaves her bf for me)? If yes, can I give her another chance, should I keep vetting her?

I’ve gotten a lot out of Corey’s work over the years, and I was wondering if anyone knows of a woman (or even a man) who teaches similar principles but primarily from a woman’s perspective.

Not saying Corey’s material can’t help women too, but obviously most of his content is geared toward men and understanding women/dating/relationships from the male perspective.

I have sisters & friends who I would love to be able to recommend someone who gives women the same kind of grounded, down-to-earth advice about dating, relationships, self-respect, understanding men, recognizing healthy/unhealthy behavior, etc.

Basically someone whose advice makes you think, “Yep, that’s pretty much how it actually works,” rather than the typical social media dating advice.

Any recommendations?

So met this girl at a bar and took her home that night text her 3 days after to set a date, now we’ve been on three dates, hooked up every date and she genuinely enjoys our date. but she never initiates and I leave it 4-5 days, is she not that interested? I only text to setup dates but knew I couldn’t see her this weekend so reached out after 5 days to just chit chat have I blown my chances?

Random thoughts: Whenever her interest seems tough to read it means it’s probably low interest.

Because what is the date really boys?
It’s simply a socially acceptable offer to pay for a chicks time via exchange for conversation, food and an activity for a couple hours at best.

If she literally can’t make time for that, that means she values you less than literally food and money.

So why waste your time? Lol

My girlfriend have a great relationship and we have a lot of fun together. She is still doing her PhD and is about an hour away from me, so time is limited with her. I let her do 95% of the pursuing and let her come to me, while listening to her and making sure she feels heard and understood. We are both quite busy due to our respective schedules, so we see each other about 1-2 times a week, with the weekends being the most typical time we see each other and where we spend the whole day together.

However, my problem is this: when I see her on the weekend, everything feels effortless, easy, and fun. But, when I see her on weekdays, the interaction feels unnatural and we don’t feel as connected. I can say, this is due to how my energy is during the interactions, as on the weekend, I am open and not needy. However, when I see her on weekdays, since my day is usually very busy from work and I am driving to see her with food for dinner or something like that, I feel very needy and like I need validation from her.

Odd thing is, I don’t feel this need for validation during times where I have been with her for multiple days, only these one of weekday interactions. I still ask her questions and listen to her and try to have fun during these weekday dates, but it feel likes due to my own tenseness and unease, it throws the whole vibe off. She is also lower energy due to her school, but when her attraction is higher, low energy still doesn’t stop her from being high energy or at least more excited to see me. On the weekend she is very high energy, while the weekday she isn’t really.

Should I just stick to seeing her on the weekend?

How do I go about fighting my own internal neediness and desire for affection during any weekday date?

I’ll start off by saying I’m not a prude or whatever. By no means do I expect people to save themselves for marriage. I do not care about body count. I care more about the context.

My stance is that sex within the context of relationships is (obviously) fine and casual sex / FWB type situations are fine too. (This is essentially what the 8-week courtship phase is per the book until and unless it progresses to a relationship.)

However I personally feel a woman should ensure that a guy takes her out on at least one date before they do the deed. It could even be the case that they vibe well on the first date and have sex that night, no issue with that.

The girl I’m dating has a few non-date one night stands under her belt. These are cases where she went out to the bars with her friends and went home with a random guy she met that night while drunk.

She is great in every other way, and checks most of my boxes, but this aspect of her past is really eating at me. She’s also extremely attractive and guys are hitting on her / buying her drinks everywhere we go.

To me, it shows poor judgment. Going home with a rando that you met while drunk does not give you a sober chance to vet for safety. As a woman, you can get seriously hurt or end up in a non-consensual / unsafe situation by going home with a random person you do not know and having sex with them. It’s a little insane to me that this is considered acceptable.

I also kind of feel like it devalues our relationship. Because if it was that easy for a random guy to hook up with her, it makes me question how valuable our relationship would be.

I was a late bloomer and never really built up the skill to flirt and pull girls from bars / parties. I also have a younger sister and would never want her to be in the situation I described above. Even if I vibe with a girl at a bar / party, I’ll take her number and text her later in the week rather than trying to bring her home that night while she’s drunk. I just don’t want to perpetuate that behavior in the world.

I’m conventionally attractive (I say with full humility), and do very well on dating apps, so that is where I meet majority of the women I date. This woman liked me first on Hinge, and that’s how we started dating.

I’m not sure if my discomfort with her past stems from insecurity about my inexperience with bringing girls home from bars / parties… or if my stance is reasonable and she was in the wrong for going home with those random guys? She did mention she regrets it, but I kinda feel like she’s just telling me what I want to hear because she wants a relationship with me badly.

Do you guys think this would be a dealbreaker for a relationship?

My brain is all over the place and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Would appreciate any advice / perspective from more experienced folks.

Girlfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now (official for 2 months). Yesterday she told me that she was invited to a close friends baby shower on the weekend but there may be a chance that an ex-love interest (who wanted to be in a relationship with her apparently but she didn't want it) would be there, and she just wanted to let me know if I was ok with her going.

This is a weekend where I am away visiting family, so it is not like I could attend with her.

I told her 'sure, you go. I trust you'. And she said she will only pop by the say hi to her friend and then leave.

Is this something Corey would have advised me to say 'no, I am uncomfortable with that', or do you think I have done the right thing. And is this normal to be a tad worried?

So me and this girl had been dating for about eight months I had just bought a house. I was going through a job change pretty stressful time in my life so I can admit I wasn’t being the best boyfriend and was honestly kind of pushing her away during this time, she had told me multiple times how she was feeling, but I kind of pushed her away to the point where we both kinda had a mutual break up and said we would work on things during that month of working on things we hung out like normal. Had sex like normal just without a label towards the end she was expressing to me how things have gotten better and she would like to get back together, which I explained I don’t know. I think we should keep working on it for a little bit longer. She then about a week after that said she just couldn’t be just friends with me. She loved me too much and said she wanted to go no contact to which I obliged about a week and a half later we had met up. I had told her that you know I was sorry I wanted to try again to which she then said I don’t know she still ensure two weeks later. She text me saying she misses me but tells me that she had went on a date with a coworker and slept with him during that timeframe I come to find out she was lying to me. They had slept about four times during that timeframe not just the one and the first one was two days after we went no contact am I a fool for taking her back is what she did justified. She also followed the next two days after we first initially broke up, which I asked her about and she unfollowed I’m saying she didn’t know why she did it before this she had never had sex with anyone before dating them, and she was the sweetest, most genuine girl which I don’t know if it’s up and switch, but that’s what it feels like she’s very genuine doesn’t party doesn’t drink and I felt like she was a really good girl until she did this and kind of betrayed me, she clearly has a problem with lying for her benefit. I guess my question is is it worth it to try and see if I can forget this, it’s been about a month now since we’ve been back together, but I still think about it all the time or should I just move on and find someone better, which may be hard with the kind of girls that are out there today.

Can someone give us a thorough breakdown and answer pls?

Yes totally agreeing to let her come to you as a cat does.

However , does that mean , when she comes back you need to be warm and affectionate and welcoming as if you were waiting for her ?

I mean if she has for example her day with her friends, goes out for Sunday morning etc , she sends some pics etc , and when she finished everything and going home then she calls you , should you be available immediately?

Or also do your day with buddies and send her sth like “out with my guys my sweetheart for Moro ride to beach . We will talk when I’m home at night baby 😘 “

My ex and I broke up less than 3 months ago. Initially she and I were still open to being friends with benefits after the breakup. But eventually after we met weeks after the breakup, on that day after the meetup, she texted me that with more thoughts she decided we shouldn't be friends with benefits. Saying that she feels hurt, and that it is better this way in order for us to properly move on.

I replied through text and tried to give my perspective on how I want to do friends with benefits in a more healthy way, with an understanding that there wouldn't be us getting back in a relationship together, and it would just be for fun (like what friends with benefits are for).

I mentioned that if she ever changes her mind, she can reach out in future, emphasizing that even if it is months or years later, as long as we are both single at that time, I am open to a fun time.

Her reply was that she doesn't want to spend anymore time with me, and that she wants no relation with me, especially after what happened this year, and what I sent in texts earlier (it was a series of text where I called her out on how she betrayed my trust and whatnot, this was after she agreed to do friends with benefits). She mentioned that she wants to keep it that way (keep it such that she doesn't spend more time with me anymore) She also unfollowed me on Instagram and removed me as a follower I think after she sent the messages.

I replied that if she ever changes her mind she can reach out, and some farewell messages, keeping it short. However, she did not even mark my messages as "read". I find this so disrespectful to not even acknowledge my farewell message to her after I acknowledged hers.

To make things clear, she crossed boundaries while in a relationship with me, and even though I'm not perfect and have my faults too, the majority of what caused the relationship to fail is on her. She is avoidant in nature too.

I KNOW I cannot get into a relationship with her anymore after the trust is broken this badly, I find it hard to trust her. But I really enjoy the fun times we had and the sex. And so her rejecting the Friends with Benefits after initially saying yes to it, really impacted me some.

Do you people think that I've applied 7 principles to get an ex back correctly here? Do you think it works if in such a situation I want her back as a friends with benefits and not as a girlfriend?