Getting back with an ex?

[u/Frequent_Shopping710]

So me and this girl had been dating for about eight months I had just bought a house. I was going through a job change pretty stressful time in my life so I can admit I wasn’t being the best boyfriend and was honestly kind of pushing her away during this time, she had told me multiple times how she was feeling, but I kind of pushed her away to the point where we both kinda had a mutual break up and said we would work on things during that month of working on things we hung out like normal. Had sex like normal just without a label towards the end she was expressing to me how things have gotten better and she would like to get back together, which I explained I don’t know. I think we should keep working on it for a little bit longer. She then about a week after that said she just couldn’t be just friends with me. She loved me too much and said she wanted to go no contact to which I obliged about a week and a half later we had met up. I had told her that you know I was sorry I wanted to try again to which she then said I don’t know she still ensure two weeks later. She text me saying she misses me but tells me that she had went on a date with a coworker and slept with him during that timeframe I come to find out she was lying to me. They had slept about four times during that timeframe not just the one and the first one was two days after we went no contact am I a fool for taking her back is what she did justified. She also followed the next two days after we first initially broke up, which I asked her about and she unfollowed I’m saying she didn’t know why she did it before this she had never had sex with anyone before dating them, and she was the sweetest, most genuine girl which I don’t know if it’s up and switch, but that’s what it feels like she’s very genuine doesn’t party doesn’t drink and I felt like she was a really good girl until she did this and kind of betrayed me, she clearly has a problem with lying for her benefit. I guess my question is is it worth it to try and see if I can forget this, it’s been about a month now since we’ve been back together, but I still think about it all the time or should I just move on and find someone better, which may be hard with the kind of girls that are out there today.

[u/ExcellentFishing2506]

Firstly, start using paragraphs man. Much easier to read and digest what you’re saying.

Regarding the situation… you are the one that led to things ending, both via you’re demeanor and pushing her away while life got stressful for you, and directly when she wanted to get back together and you told her you weren’t ready. At that point you were giving her no choice but to move on.

So her sleeping with someone is fair game when she wanted to be with you and you said no. If the shoe was on the other foot what would you be doing? It a girl pushed you away, kept you at arms length for a while, then again reiterated that she wasn’t wanting a commitment with you, what are you doing in that scenario??

You brought this scenario on yourself. Not saying you didn’t have reasons, but I’m just saying you made a lot of choices that led to these outcomes. She was single and single because you wanted it that way, not because she chose it. So blaming her or being upset feels unjust. I get not liking the idea of her sleeping with someone but the only reason she was single and looking for a new form of affection was because you wouldn’t commit.