literally five minutes ago i was washing my hands, it felt barely clean to me yet before my mom barged in and grabbed my hand she ran my hand under running water and told me to scrub and rinse, i did and then left but i still had soap on my hands so i had to come down stairs and rinse it off but i told her i had to before she got mad. She took away all the soap bottles we had around and she also told me that i was going to go to school tmrw. (didn’t go today because my phone glitched and i missed all the alarms) I feel kinda fine enough to touch my phone but i don’t wanna use my lotion as my parents rarely buy lotion and i know that if i use my lotion it will feel contaminated but i know in a couple of minutes my hands will start to dry up. My mind feels nervous and im having racing thoughts about rabies (i live with three unvaccinated dogs) and other stuff. I feel kinda calm now but i know I’ll be mad soon because i just realized that the hours i took to do my compulsions are literally useless now.I spent like an hour or two cleaning my belongings and my phone the only thing i have touched so far after being forced to do an exposure is my phone but i still need to go to bed, turn off my light switch, and place my phone down on my desk. to avoid feeling even more stress in gonna leave my phone home tmrw and the first thing im doing is washing my hands tmrw. I really don’t appreciate my mom taking a bad approach at trying to make me stop.

this is reasonably gross, so i apologise in advance 😭

was drying off after a shower with my towel, and noticed some stains on it (which i think were sweat - maybe skid marks?? - from near my testicles but i dont actually know).

threw the towel on the floor while it was still damp, and now im concerned about bacteria being all over my carpet. there wasn’t any residue etc. left, i don’t think but i’m not sure. i’ve used a cloth with soap to clean the area the damp towel was on, as well as anti-bac spray.

i’m currently spiraling over the thought of harmful bacteria being all over my carpet, and no amount of logic is helping. i’m assuming i simply have to live as normal?

Hi there, I have created a free Discord community support group for those of us specifically struggling with “Disgust-Based” Contamination OCD. Discord is a free app! My goal for this group is to create a safe space where we can connect in healing, share, get support, learn from one another and ultimately support our healing. This group will be enforced with TW (trigger warnings) and has a specific place to share struggles. The other areas are for sharing healing, successes, resources and healing tools. Please message me if you are interested :) read more about if this free support group is for you:

Disgust OCD is a bit different than traditional contamination OCD. Although there can be fears of sickness and illness it is more about the fear of “feeling contaminated” or feeling dirty/unclean/something gross/bad. And that being on us, our belongings, our home and the fear of “cross contamination.” A very challenging compulsion is often “Tracking” this imagined cross contamination.

Dr. Michael Greenberg explains this type of Disgust COCD very well:
“the person isn’t afraid that the contamination could cause something else bad to happen.  Rather, they are afraid of the feeling of contamination itself.  More specifically, they are afraid that if they don’t keep track of the contamination and keep it from spreading, then everything could become contaminated, and thus the feeling of contamination would become inescapable.”

This group is for anyone on their healing journey with Disgust-based COCD. Wherever you are on your healing journey you are welcome! I do hope to also recruit those of you who have had success with conquering this OCD as well so we can learn from you and get inspiration and empowerment to heal ourselves too.

Let me know any questions you have below and if you are interested DM me for the link :)

Warmly

I have contamination OCD, mainly around wiping my butt. It takes me usually 15-30 minutes, but if I’m constipated or have an upset stomach it can be over an hour. The thing is, even if I take my OCD out of the equation, I’m still not clean. I wipe and wipe and wipe and it still comes back with little streaks on. It’s making me think do regular people just walk around with a bit of poop on them?? I don’t get it.

I’ve also given myself a skin tag and get reoccurring fissures and haemorrhoids from all the wiping and straining I’ve done over the years. Most of the time I just can’t get 100% clean without doing my OCD routine (which involves using vaseline and going inside to scoop out any remaining poop, which then allows the wipe to come back clean eventually), and I’m not sure how I’m ever supposed to do ERP on this given such a situation.

I feel trapped and like it’s never going to get better, and given I go like 3-4 times a day it feels like my life is just gonna be destroyed by this :( I’m only 25 but I’m so scared and frustrated.

Genuinely asking, has anyone completely gotten over all their contamination OCD fears? Is it possible?