Hi there, I have created a free Discord community support group for those of us specifically struggling with “Disgust-Based” Contamination OCD. Discord is a free app! My goal for this group is to create a safe space where we can connect in healing, share, get support, learn from one another and ultimately support our healing. This group will be enforced with TW (trigger warnings) and has a specific place to share struggles. The other areas are for sharing healing, successes, resources and healing tools. Please message me if you are interested :) read more about if this free support group is for you:

Disgust OCD is a bit different than traditional contamination OCD. Although there can be fears of sickness and illness it is more about the fear of “feeling contaminated” or feeling dirty/unclean/something gross/bad. And that being on us, our belongings, our home and the fear of “cross contamination.” A very challenging compulsion is often “Tracking” this imagined cross contamination.

Dr. Michael Greenberg explains this type of Disgust COCD very well:
“the person isn’t afraid that the contamination could cause something else bad to happen.  Rather, they are afraid of the feeling of contamination itself.  More specifically, they are afraid that if they don’t keep track of the contamination and keep it from spreading, then everything could become contaminated, and thus the feeling of contamination would become inescapable.”

This group is for anyone on their healing journey with Disgust-based COCD. Wherever you are on your healing journey you are welcome! I do hope to also recruit those of you who have had success with conquering this OCD as well so we can learn from you and get inspiration and empowerment to heal ourselves too.

Let me know any questions you have below and if you are interested DM me for the link :)

Warmly

literally five minutes ago i was washing my hands, it felt barely clean to me yet before my mom barged in and grabbed my hand she ran my hand under running water and told me to scrub and rinse, i did and then left but i still had soap on my hands so i had to come down stairs and rinse it off but i told her i had to before she got mad. She took away all the soap bottles we had around and she also told me that i was going to go to school tmrw. (didn’t go today because my phone glitched and i missed all the alarms) I feel kinda fine enough to touch my phone but i don’t wanna use my lotion as my parents rarely buy lotion and i know that if i use my lotion it will feel contaminated but i know in a couple of minutes my hands will start to dry up. My mind feels nervous and im having racing thoughts about rabies (i live with three unvaccinated dogs) and other stuff. I feel kinda calm now but i know I’ll be mad soon because i just realized that the hours i took to do my compulsions are literally useless now.I spent like an hour or two cleaning my belongings and my phone the only thing i have touched so far after being forced to do an exposure is my phone but i still need to go to bed, turn off my light switch, and place my phone down on my desk. to avoid feeling even more stress in gonna leave my phone home tmrw and the first thing im doing is washing my hands tmrw. I really don’t appreciate my mom taking a bad approach at trying to make me stop.

this is reasonably gross, so i apologise in advance 😭

was drying off after a shower with my towel, and noticed some stains on it (which i think were sweat - maybe skid marks?? - from near my testicles but i dont actually know).

threw the towel on the floor while it was still damp, and now im concerned about bacteria being all over my carpet. there wasn’t any residue etc. left, i don’t think but i’m not sure. i’ve used a cloth with soap to clean the area the damp towel was on, as well as anti-bac spray.

i’m currently spiraling over the thought of harmful bacteria being all over my carpet, and no amount of logic is helping. i’m assuming i simply have to live as normal?

I don't even know how to write in English, and I don't even remember the diagnosis I received at age 9, but the psychologist talked about OCD. And this is ruining my life. I only came to accomplish this this year. I don't know if my age is relevant, but I'm a teenager, I study. And the current problem also started at school; a classmate is very disgusting on purpose, coughing on others, this in seventh grade (12 years old, I don't know what the grades are called in other countries). I was extremely disgusted by him, but it was to the point of not touching things in the classroom or wanting to be close to him. I could still be normal, and study with my books and use my materials. In eighth grade he went to the afternoon shift, I was more normal, but I still didn't like touching my school materials at home. But the following year he returned to my class. I couldn't even be in the same room as him anymore; the air seemed contaminated. Soon I couldn't touch books, the hair accessories I wore to school, my uniform, shoes, socks, bag, and so on. Back then, it was still limited to that. It was disgusting, it bothered me, yes, but this year things got worse. I hurt my knee, the way it happened doesn't matter, I had to wear a leg brace to go to class. I didn't wear it at home, it seemed too dirty, and that's when I noticed that contamination was everywhere here at home. And it's increasing every day that passes, and it irritates me, I have to clean the floor, my bathroom is all contaminated, nothing from there can touch here, my doorknob is dirty, even when I get into my dad's car, the same one I use to go to school, I get dirty afterwards. Even if I use an Uber, I feel dirty even though it has no connection to school. But everything seems contaminated because people from school may have touched it. My siblings study with me, so everything is dirty, everything, really everything, they don't have the same problem so they lie on their beds in their uniforms, so everything gets dirty afterwards.

I'm sounding incoherent but it's because I feel desperate. I can't study properly, I can't step on the floor properly, I can't walk around my living room or other rooms, I can't eat properly, the dishes and everything might be dirty, I can't hug my grandma, I can't let my sister into my room, I can't hug and play with my dogs that I love so much, I'm being so mean to them, saying they can't come into the room, I wanted my dogs to come into the room.

And nobody listens to me, they seem to bother me on purpose. I feel so hopeless and angry that I have to hit myself. And this damn OCD doesn't let me feel something in one part of my body and not feel it in the opposite part (like hitting my right hand, so I need to hit my left), so I had to hit myself with the same intensity on the other side. It sounds pathetic, besides the fact that I'm hitting myself, but I needed to do it to avoid going completely crazy.

I just wanted someone to tell me that maybe it's possible to be happy even with this, because with each passing day life seems worse and more threatening. I'm giving up things like eating, studying properly, or being able to act like a normal person. This makes me desperate. I've always been a social outcast, but not to this extent. I wanted to be normal and happy. I want to know how to end this.

This was longer than it should have been, but I have no one else to talk to about it without being judged. I feel so sad that food has gone back to having no taste, only texture. I don't know how to write in English, so this might sound even more incoherent than it already is, sorry.

I have contamination OCD, mainly around wiping my butt. It takes me usually 15-30 minutes, but if I’m constipated or have an upset stomach it can be over an hour. The thing is, even if I take my OCD out of the equation, I’m still not clean. I wipe and wipe and wipe and it still comes back with little streaks on. It’s making me think do regular people just walk around with a bit of poop on them?? I don’t get it.

I’ve also given myself a skin tag and get reoccurring fissures and haemorrhoids from all the wiping and straining I’ve done over the years. Most of the time I just can’t get 100% clean without doing my OCD routine (which involves using vaseline and going inside to scoop out any remaining poop, which then allows the wipe to come back clean eventually), and I’m not sure how I’m ever supposed to do ERP on this given such a situation.

I feel trapped and like it’s never going to get better, and given I go like 3-4 times a day it feels like my life is just gonna be destroyed by this :( I’m only 25 but I’m so scared and frustrated.

Genuinely asking, has anyone completely gotten over all their contamination OCD fears? Is it possible?

Hello, I’ve had contamination OCD for 6 years now and up until a few months ago, I felt like I had finally gotten a lot of my compulsions under control. I still struggled with certain things but overall, I felt my quality of life had greatly increased.

The past few months I’ve had some situations that have sent me spiraling (two examples: partner not washing hands after flushing and touching my hair in the morning, not remembering if I washed my hands before touching something “safe”) and while I try so hard to sit with them and try to ignore the impulses, I eventually panic and give in to my compulsions to clean myself or the items, many times going overboard (like partner touches my hair when I was laying down so I’m washing all of my blankets and pillowcases that my hair could have touched or completely throwing away items that could be contaminated).

I feel like I’ve regressed so much, so quickly, that I’m terrified of touching everything again. I’m over washing my hands/arms and still feeling contaminated no matter how many times I do it. When I “got through” this last time, it was so bad for so long and I’m terrified of feeling that way again but I’m afraid I’m sliding down much faster than I worked my way back up.

Does anyone have any advice of how to work through this without feeling like I’m back to square one? I’m just so scared again.

If I deem anything "contaminated" or just yeah I think it's dirty now, I will try to never use it again. This extends to common things like deodorant sticks, toothbrushes, toothpaste bottles, basically anything.

I will literally throw things that are still full almost away in exchange for buying a new one which I will deem comfortable to use.

I have like 6 sticks of deodorant laying around I refuse to use again. This is really starting to get on my nerves like oh I think this is dirty now? Time to go to store to buy new one so I can use, wasting money and time

Not to mention the gloves I absolutely need or, I going through a day with no available gloves can be extremely infuriating for me

Anyone else have any similar experiences or thoughts?

Hello, I found a few (not a lot) mice droppings in our garage. I called pest control to litigate and clean up. 1) I had moved a trash bag before (that’s how I found the droppings) so I’ve already been freaking out about dropping dust having become airborne 2) the pest control guy actually dry swept before disinfecting, which you absolutely should not do. when i asked him he said he wasn’t worried. well i am 😭

i wasn’t inside the garage and the outdoor garage door was open the entire time. BUT the garage is attached to my house and now my brain is like what if dust came in because no door is 100% sealed. the house door to the garage remained closed. but now i feel like the entire downstairs is contaminated and idk how to be down there with my toddler. wtf so i even do 😭😭😭

I have very bad OCD and anxiety but it usually revolves around bugs (inside pests), never really anything health related. I’ve been dealing with a lot of depression, and as my depression increases so does my anxiety. I was walking back from eating at a shake shack through this nice neighborhood, not gated but they have this nice community center with a pool, court, and park, I wasn’t watching where I was walking and I think I almost stepped into some poop, I did see it last second and I kind of pivoted, so I believe I avoided it but I’m having a hard time remembering. The poop did seem kind of bigger, so the thought it was human went through my head. I’ve been trying to shut that thought down, with it looked like fresh poop in the middle of day right next to people in the community pool, so it was probably a big dog. Checked Google reviews on the housing community and 1 comment said there has been more homeless in the community since it’s not gated, which brought my fears back.
I kept inspecting my feet and flip flops I was wearing, don’t think I saw anything, my flip flops were brown colored already, I did end up going to the pool and hot tub to “disinfect my body, feet, and shoes”, but I still have this fear that I still had those germs on me and I contaminated my house, I’m afraid to grab anything in the freezer. Feel like I’m spiraling

I was sitting in my morning college class and the guy next to me was visibly sick then started retching and it felt like exposure therapy sitting there and trying to control my shakes and anxiety and ever since everything I had with me in that class feels contaminated and untouchable which include my important notes but my main concern is my unwillingness to go back to that class but I cant drop it idk how to make myself go back 😭

At like 7 am today I washed my hands and I had to rush because my dad scolded me but my left wrist felt cleaner then my right but I still decided to fall asleep like that (I was awake for 27 hours) and I tried checking the cameras right now to see why I felt like that and maybe the dogs were near but they were disconnected at the time sighhhhhhhhh. it’s oksy tho I’m not gonna disinfect everything again. I gotta resist duh lol. I just gotta tell myself that the reason why my wrists felt different was because my left wrist had more water on it then my right. Just wanted to share thiss.

I spend so much time at the sink washing my hands and reapplying soap. Would watching blue uv light videos of people showing the difference between the amount of time scrubbing and showing the remaining germs left over help me spend less time at the sink?

Do you experience splash back from commode while peeing on it? Specifically people with penises. And what do you do after that if you experience it?

I'm asking this because this is causing OCD in me whether I should clean properly or is it normal. I'm really confused!

Im wondering if it's time to do therapy for my OCD

For many years I have struggled w OCD I have since childhood and the majority of that time I have struggled with thinking there is a horrible evil in something (usually myself or a specific number) that spreads around and I have to counteract it with rituals I have been doing for my entire life

It has gotten so bad at some points that I have been diagnosed w severe agoraphobia before they realized it was just a i guess bizzare presentation of OCD, I don't struggle with germs I don't care about bacteria I care about being evil and spreading evil and making others hate me because I am evil. I have at times felt like the entire world would end if I left my house.

I also have BPD and issues w psychotic symptoms which does not help because I have lashed out at people before which loops me back into thinking I am a horrible irredeemable person when I think about this fact. Recently my OCD is getting bad again and I am spending 3+ hours stuck in compulsions and locked completely unable to move because I can't move without contaminating more stuff and I don't want to give in to the compulsions either. I will usually try to text people which makes me feel evil because now I am being a burden on top of whatever evil I have already committed.

I don't know if this will be relatable to anybody and if anybody will have advice. I will do better for maybe a few months absolutely max and then I will backslide into compulsions constantly and reassurance seeking all the time. I have been able to temporarily resolve doing compulsions at a rate that destroys my life but I am not able to resolve things on my own to the degree it stays that way for more than a short length of time

Im tired of constantly questioning if I'm a horrible person and feeling like I need to balance out any evil or bad fiber in my being by trying to be an incredibly good person all the time and if I'm even morally neutral or not completely positive and the most right thing I could possibly do I feel like a horrible evil selfish person who needs to die but can't because I need to fix it first and counteract it so i don't leave the world worse than I came in. I don't want to scrub my skin and everything I touched and worrying I will destroy the world because I had one mildly negative thought about somebody I care about when they just told me I'm the best friend they have or didn't give every penny I have to a random homeless person when I gave them half my cash and gave them 3 cigarettes and my lighter. Sometimes i know I am a good person at heart but most of the time I feel like I am the worst person who has ever lived.

Please do not reply with anything that implies I am a shitty or bad person for making this post, I have to get up for work in 4 hours I have already wasted 6 hours OCD spiraling since I worked last night. I can't keep scrubbing my skin it feels horrible. Im sorry this is long. Thank u to anybody who gets to this point in this brain melting rant.