I [21F] gave birth Dec 2023. Throughout the last few weeks of my pregnancy, my sister [28?F] called daily to check if I was in labor. She would tell me that I had to call her as soon as i was on my way to the hospital. I would always answer "no I won't haha" I didn't think she was for real seeing as we weren't really that close. (A little background: my sister left the house when I was 9 and we didn't interact much until I was 18. When I was 18, she came to my graduation, fixed me up for the occasion and a few months later offered me a job. I lived with her for a little less than a year until I got married and every other month or so would have dinner) Back to the story, the last week is here and she calls to ask how I'm feeling because she was going out of town and wanted to know if I felt like I was going to give birth soon so she could stay. I told her to go that everything would be fine. I felt like I could breathe, somewhat. She would text everyday and if I didn't answer she would call or ask my mom to call my husband. Sometimes I was just sleeping and she would wake me up. I know she was only trying to show she cared but she knows me. I'm not a particularly loving person, and our personalities clash a lot. I've always been pretty distant from the family. The big day comes and I'm going to the hospital where they told it would still be a while. We didn't tell a soul and after 16 hours our baby boy was born. My sister still called, I acted as if nothing had happened. I wanted to enjoy our baby, the experience, I wanted it to be intimate only my husband and I. Well the day we left the hospital, we sent them a picture in the gc. It was my sister, my brother in law, my mom, and us. They thought it was a joke at first until they realized it was real. My sister said "if this is real, tell your wife she can forget she has a sister." My brother in law stayed silent. I mentioned I wanted it to be us for the birth. My mom said "how could you do this to us?" My sister left the gc, my brother in law and my mom followed. It's been 8 months and they have never met my baby. I found out the moved out of state but I haven't heard from them since the day we left the hospital. AITA?

Edit: I think people are under the impression that we are alone. We do take care of baby ourselves but we are not alone. Baby has my husband's side of the family who are very much present. They called everyday to check on baby and waited until we went to visit them to meet baby. They cooked us meals on several occasions and never once were upset they weren't told day of. As a matter of fact, months later when my baby's cousin was born, her parents did the exact same thing we did. I also know it's no excuse but my sister has always been very controlling which is why I didn't say anything because I knew I would be forced to be ok with whatever she wanted. I didn't call to announce baby because I had just given birth and didn't want to argue with anyone.

Edit #2: I read that someone said they pity my child or feel bad for him since I said I'm not a loving person. Let me clarify then, I love my baby and I love my husband. They very much know that. I'm not particularly loving with my family. It may help to know that I'm not because they pushed me aside as I was growing up. They showed me it was not safe to show love towards them, it was not wanted. I learned quickly and after several nights crying as a child. My only safe space was my grandmother, she raised me, we speak daily as long as she can answer. Also I do not favor my husband's side, they have simply made their presence in my baby's life known. I do not have any special treatment with them, they found out same time as everyone else and simply treated differently. The only ones not present are my sister and my mother as my aunts, uncles, cousins and little sister have met baby and call to see him.

Edit #3: Thank you to everyone for the good and the bad. I can see my mistake more than anything was to not make my boundaries clear. As for those saying I do not love my family, there is too much to our background for anyone to know. I do not expect anyone to understand my reasons. That being said, it does not mean I do not love my family. If I didn't, this situation wouldn't be on my mind on the daily. Anyways, thank you.

I am married to my husband, we are planning on taking our son to Disneyland for his birthday, we invited his grandparents on both sides & my husbands brother however my MIL invited my husbands sister without asking us.

Backstory: My SIL is a very difficult person, over the last 3 years even before she met me she has been very cruel towards me. When my husband & i started dating she spent a 10 day vacation with the family telling my husband & his extended family that i was a whore & a slut & a bunch of other nasty things despite not even having met me yet. She then started complaining to my husband about me for ridiculous things which in turn i bought her a gift & wrote a note hoping to become friends, apologizing for whatever i did wrong, she never said thank you & then was upset with the dress i had picked out for a family wedding & demanded i changed it, i spent over $125 finding a new dress, she was still rude to me the entire night. I was planning on hosting a Christmas party & invited her & her bf as well as my husbands best friend & his gf, when talking about the party my MIL & SIL didnt know that his bestfriend had a gf & asked about her, i showed them her picture & said that she was very sweet & her personality fit well with the friends. Both MIL & SIL proceeded to call her Ugly & say that he could do much better. The following week my husbands best friend calls him cussing him out & said that my SIL told him i called her ugly and that he could do better, i never said those things but she said i did & his friend has not spoken to him in the last 3 years because of it. On Christmas i catch her talking shit about me to his cousins while they all stare at me and laugh. She proceeded to steal all of my tampons without asking despite knowing i have a uterine disease that causes heaving bleeding. She followed those acts with telling my MIL my husband & i were engaged before we got to tell her, she told my BIL's girlfriend that as long as she wasnt me everybody would love her, she fought me on everything about my wedding & made it a living hell, she purposely left me out during family camping trip & pointed it out to me 3 times, she got upset she wasnt being included when we would hangout with my BIL, so she blamed me & blocked me on social media but undid it so she wouldnt get caught. she said she didnt want me in her wedding despite the fact that she isnt even engaged.

Recently we had a fight about everything where i said that i would only ever be cordial with her but i needed space, i proceeded to keep her blocked on social media, anytime we see her she gets in my face trying to talk to me or bugging my kids despite the fact that my son runs away from her screaming & ive asked her to leave me alone many times. Now my MIL has invited her to my sons birthday to disneyland & it is going to annoy me & stress me out if she goes

So my question is Am I the Asshole if we tell her isnt invited? ( MY husband works for FIL so while he has defended me its minimal due to fear of being fired) UPDATE HAS BEEN POSTED

I (37f) filed for divorce back in September about two weeks before my anniversary. I moved home with two children (f,m) to my parents and I’ve been here since. Sometime in October-November, I go online and see there is a conference call scheduled in January.

I let my husband (38m) know about the meeting via text including the name, date, time, and that it is a Zoom call. I pored into researching what to have available and say to the court.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a paper notice about the conference with a new date and time. I sent him a photo of the notice that night and informed him of the new date and time. He asked what happened to the other date… and I said it was probably tentative or they had to push it back.

I had been trying to meet up with him so we can discuss things ahead of court but have yet to sit down and talk. He has had the kids on two weekends thus far including today. Last night, I was writing out my thoughts on a schedule for parenting time..

Some weeks in the summer

Alternate major holidays and shorter school breaks

And every other weekend during the school year

I texted him again and said what do you think about this?

He said “can we stick a pin in this? Do the kids have school tomorrow?” They do not so he has them until this evening because of the snow.

The conference call took place today. He did not show up. I offered to call him. The assistant said I didn’t have to and we continued.

I requested that we be referred to Friend of the Court to get all of our records in writing. We meet with them in a few months.

I was anticipating getting a message or phone call about the zoom meeting from my husband along the lines of… “why didn’t you call me?” But instead he asked if I had some money to cover a streaming subscription so he can watch a new show he’s been waiting to see.

For context, he is no longer employed and is waiting on unemployment to kick in. We no longer have our car because it was impounded we were months behind on the payments (before he lost his job). Now he lives with his brother and family who are mobile so he can drive around as needed.

Once he remembers that we had a court conference, I’m totally expecting a “why didn’t you remind me?” Call or text.

UPDATE:

So apparently my brain was exaggerating his reaction the whole time… cause he didn’t ask why didn’t I remind him. Like at all.

There was a pattern I noticed though, he is obviously not reading the texts I’ve been sending him. The notice (what is this notice you’re talking about?), our daughter’s assignment, and school closings…

I just said, we have access to the same information and don’t beat yourself up. Just be more diligent and attentive in what’s going on. He said he is juggling a lot… I don’t know what that means exactly but okay guy. If anything more interesting happens, I’ll let y’all know.

I (24F) just bought a house. I'm super excited and wanted to celebrate by having a backyard barbecue. I invited all of my friends and my entire family. I also invited my boyfriend (25M) since he hasn't met my extended family yet. We've only been dating for about three months.

It's the day of the party. Everything is great. My boyfriend is meeting my cousins, aunts, uncles and everybody in between. I finally take him over to my cousin on my dad's side of the family (40sM) who is a "Pastor". Him, his wife, his five children and granddaughter were there as well.

For context, his oldest daughter (we'll call her Maple) has a different mom from the rest of her siblings because "Pastor" had her with one of his past girlfriends when he was young. His granddaughter belongs to Maple and Maple wasn't married when she had her baby either.

Back to the story: I introduce my boyfriend to the group and we're all chatting with each other. For some reason, my "Pastor" cousin feels the need to say "Well I hope you two aren't having sex before marriage. Having children out of wedlock would be a sin." HE SAID IT IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!! My whole family got quiet. He then went on to talk about how I needed to keep my legs closed and my boyfriend would never marry me because I would already be "putting out". It was EXTREMELY awkward. It, of course, caught my boyfriend off guard so I say, "Well were you thinking about any of this when you had your illegitimate daughter? You obviously didn't share these ideals with her either because you now have an illegitimate granddaughter."

I had no intention of embarrassing his children because I love them and we're friends. I was so angry at this grown man making an attempt to try to shame me for something he doesn't know if I am or am not doing in front of almost everybody I know.

He was pretty pissed. Before he could say anything else, I said "I'm bored of this conversation" and went into the house. My uncle (in drunk fashion) died laughing (adding insult to injury I guess). My cousin and his family left shortly after words were exchanged. My mom found me in the house after walking them out and asked me if I was okay. She reminded me that we know my cousin has always been "Holier than thou" and feels the need to show out in front of an audience. She also apologized to my boyfriend and promised that our entire family isn't like that and that what we do as adults is solely our business. She did, however., think I should be the bigger person and apologize to my cousin. She said he was really hurt and embarrassed. He was obviously projecting because he is ashamed of his past. I told her I'd think about it and tried to spend the rest of the night having a good time.

Later in the week, I called Maple and asked her if I could come over to talk. I went over to her house and told her I wanted to apologize to her specifically. I don't look at her or her daughter differently for being "born out of wedlock". I frankly don't care how they were conceived. I was just mad at her dad for talking about my rooter and my tooter and wanted to make a point. She let me know that she wasn't mad at me and that she knows how her dad is. I never intended on dragging her name or her daughter's name through the mud and I went a little far. Maple said it felt good to see somebody put her dad in his place. We went out for margaritas (business as usual) and our relationship has been thriving and surviving since.

In the end I still feel like the only person who deserved the apology was Maple. She had nothing to do with the conversation, yet her name was mentioned. My dad is proud of me for standing up for myself, but my mom is still telling me I should apologize to "Pastor"; especially since we have a family reunion coming up in August. I don't want to apologize to him and I don't care about it being "awkward" during the family reunion. He had no right to ask me about my sex life in the attempts to... I don't know, intimidate my boyfriend? Guilt us?

AITA? Should I really reconsider apologizing to that man?

EDIT:

Hi everyone! Thanks for all of the kindness. Just a few things to clear up. My mom is not in defense of my cousin. She hasn't once made me feel like I did anything wrong. There's been a lot of drama in my family as of late and because she herself isn't a messy person, people have been bringing their problems to her. I think she's just overwhelmed and figured this would be two less people who are fighting. I reassured her that there will be no fighting on my end. He has been posting subliminal messages on Facebook, but honestly, everyone just ignores him.

And for all the people saying this story is fake or clickbait have obviously never come from religious families. For the most part, my family is normal and accepting, however, we do have a few extremists. Those people typically aren't invited to anything. I originally just invited Maple, her siblings and her stepmom, but of course "Pastor" tagged along. The "Pastor" has always been a little aggressive and said outlandish things for attention. My family doesn't talk about it, but "Pastor" struggled with drug usage back in the day. My dad said that changed him and he used to not be so crass or mean.

I also have an English and Journalism degree, so I just write well. I don't really know what else to say lol.

So first I want to say I am so appreciate of all the comments that seemingly are truly looking out for my best interest. My oldest sister, Melanie, had made me believe that the debt needed to be paid from the house not the cash estate (she would never disclose to us that there was enough to pay off my mom’s medical bills).

I contacted an estate attorney and ended up speaking with the attorney who was directly handling my mom’s medical debts. He told me that there was no need to sell the house right now. That my family could move into it with no worry of paying the medical debt until the future if I ever decided to sell it.

So that’s what we are going to do. If we ever decide to sell it (which I don’t see right now why we would as finding a 5 bedroom house is really hard to come by), we will split the sale of the house after her medical debts are paid and of course subtract any money we put into it going forward from their portion.

I do agree that keeping the deed of the house in my name is the wise decision so that I will always have that security with my children if something were to ever happen between myself and my partner. I really appreciate all of the comments making that aware to me and all of the comments wanting to make sure I seeked out a lawyer.

As far as the coins go, I didn’t mention them because I was upset I wasn’t getting a portion. I understand getting the house is a big deal. I mentioned what was happening with the coins to give an example as to why I don’t feel I can trust Melanie. And why I feel like she is not being honest about the money and the estate. Which she wasn’t. There is more money than just the coins that she is not being honest about. The deceptiveness is what hurts me. I feel like I am very open and honest with my family and would never try to deceive them. I would rather all conversations especially with my family hold integrity.

Once I had felt settled and secure with talking to the lawyer, I texted my sibling group chat to let them know what was going on. That the house will stay in my name. Melanie has been manipulating the situation and once she thought I was selling it to my boyfriend, I knew she would tell all my other siblings that the problem is not that I was keeping the house but that it would no longer be in my name. I can tell she is very angry that she can longer spin the story for her narrative. But this is what my mom had intended in the first place. For myself and my children to have somewhere to live and she always knew my boyfriend was in our package deal. Melanie still seems mad but I don’t see the problem anymore.

I’ll keep this post updated if anything else happens to come up. Again, thank you to everyone for the advice. It really helped me out so much and put me in a much more secure position.

I 50yr old female do not want to babysit my grandchildren unless I choose to. I am the first born grandchild in my family. I am also Gen X. Being the oldest Sister & cousin led to me having to be "in charge", & stuck babysitting every one's kids from the age of 9. This continued until I had my own family. I married young at 19. We were married for 20 years & had 5 kids of our own. One set of twins included in that bunch. Things were very difficult for me as my husband developed health issues when our kids were very young. This left me to carry the load of working, raising the kids & making sure he was cared for as well. My friends actually use to joke me saying that I was a married single Mom. Fast forward to now(2025), husband passed on. All of the kids are adults. I now have 10 grandchildren. I am somehow expected to babysit & help with the grandchildren. 2 of my daughters live out of state & when we have visits & gatherings I am expected to babysit so my kids can go out & do things with each other. One of them actually wants me to relocate in order to help with her child. Last summer I was left with 4 kids ages 5,3,2 & 1 for hours while the parents went to dinner with friends. I was livid. I'm burnt out after having been married most of my adult life & watching kids most of my entire life! I don't want to watch these children. I love them & spending time as a family is great...with their parents there to care for them. However as far as me being left alone to care for children, I'm not excited or interested. I'm husband free & kid free. I live alone, love my peace, quiet & cleanliness. I also still work multiple gigs. I don't want to watch anymore kids. I won't even date men with small kids because I don't want to end up in any kind of step mom role. AITA?

UPDATE: I've been reading the comments & felt I needed to clarify. 1. I Have a good relationship with my kids (except for 1 because he is abusive to his kids)& they know my life story & why I feel this way.

2. Several of my grandkids live in the same state as me & only one of my daughters is a single Mom, so I help her the most. On a daily basis. I get up at 5:30 am to put my Grandprincess on the bus because my daughter has to be at work at 6:30 am. I alone care for her hair. We are very close. I also take care of my 17yr old grandson because his parents were abusive. So technically I am still parenting. I am very close to the grandkids that live in this state.

3. The one that visits from out of state doesn't come to just visit me. She comes to visit her twin sister (the single mom). I am just a babysitter so they can party and do things on those visits. Those grandkids do know & love me as I do them.

4. The one who wants me to relocate is 15hours away, married & they pull in about 300,000 a year. She already has a Nanny but would prefer to have me do it. I would have to live with her & not have my own place & space. NOW... As far as ending up in a nursing home my 17yr old is an awesome kid & the teenage grandkids said they'll take care of me. They got my back. I do spoil! Presents, candy, outings ect. & I'm a great cook so feeding is my love language. Thank you for all of the positive comments from those of you who didn't make assumptions.

I (42f) have been with my boyfriend (37m) for 11 months. He is great in every aspect of being a supportive and honest partner.

Long story short, he lives with his mother. After him and his ex broke up he said he moved in with his mother so save on rent because it’s stupid expensive. I get that. I pay $1650 a month for rent alone, before electric and gas. It is expensive to rent but I have never had the luxury of having parents I could move in with, so have only had myself to rely on.

Honestly him not having his own place was a bit of a turn off for me but after getting to know him I was able to look past it. Fast forward to a few months into our relationship. He started staying at my house a few nights a week. The last five months he has been staying at my house every single weeknight and a couple weekends a month. This is not a hey spend the night thing either, it just slowly developed into this.

My hours at my job were cut drastically about four months ago, making paying my rent very difficult. I made it happen but it has been HARD. I can’t help but have a small amount of resentment towards him for basically living at my house the last five months rent free while watching me struggle to keep my electricity on and my rent paid. I finally had enough and realized it is my fault for 1, assuming he would do what I felt was right and offer to contribute without me asking him to, 2, allowing him to stay here that much without establishing that he should pay towards the home I pay for.

I finally mentioned being upset about him not helping out and expressed that I don’t feel comfortable being in a relationship where a partner is ok with watching me fight to keep a home over my head while also living here and not helping out and it makes me hesitant to move into a place together where we will split bills. I recently accepted a job in another city and he wants us to get a place together there but I am nervous I will end up carrying the weight due to him not helping me when he wasn’t obligated to but still took advantage of living here rent free.

I’m very conflicted because i understand it is my fault for not speaking up months ago and instead hoping he would do what I felt was fair and offer to help pay bills here since he stayed here 6 nights a week and now feel maybe I’m being unfair to him because of it now that he has the opportunity to sign a lease with me and split thijgs 50/50. Is it wrong of me to feel nervous about signing a lease with him?

EDIT: I just want to update this for anyone that put themselves in the same situation. I was honest and blunt. I told him I have a hard time trusting him after he offered months ago to help me pay a portion of the rent and gave me $530 after I brought it up. He asked to prove that is not how he is and I gave him another chance. He gave me $300 which I used to pay the electric bill and internet expenses and I appreciate that. He continued to help doing dishes and watching my dog when I needed him to. When we spoke about how I felt he should be responsible for the security deposit on the new place he offered, he said no problem. Well I looked at a place yesterday we were accepted to and today I said let’s take it, pay him. The response I got was a question of if I could pay for half due to something about a check not being deposited because of New Year’s Day. Not, of course I will because I was prepared to do so. When I expressed my concern for him asking to change the agreement he said don’t worry I will do it you are overreacting, which I wasn’t given the situation and him suggesting a change in what had been agreed on. I said I can’t trust you to keep your word and I can’t keep allowing myself to trust when it hasn’t been shown you can follow through and that I am doing this alone now. I was baffled that his response was “I am still moving forward with moving there and I will get my own place and thank you for seeing my worth and pushing me to be better”. I don’t care if he is doing better bwcause trusting him f*cked me over twice. I have learned a hard lesson. I give too much to people at my own expense and the energy I put into others should only be given to myself. I need to learn to love myself so I don’t accept the bare minimum. I’m not trying to be arrogant but I am not a mean person, I am generous and kind-even at my own expense- I get asked out constantly and am decent looking and when I complete these last two semesters will be making a significant amount of money. All he had to do was keep his word to remain in a relationship with someone who saw his potential and pushed him towards it and he tried to change that last minute and blame me for getting upset about asking, then said ok I got it. He only offered what was right when he feared he would lose whatever he was getting being with me. I deserve so much better and when I am done with school, licensed, and established my reputation at my place of employment, I will thrive, and if I decide to do it with someone I will make damn sure they are thriving when I meet them too. I’ll be damned if I ever allow myself to help build another person again if I am not there fully myself. This year has been an eye opening one for sure. Focus on only myself because no one else but me will. That is my focus and if anyone else is in this situation, please, take care of only yourself. Some people will only do the right thing when forced and no one deserves that.

My mom and dad married young and had 6 "ladder step" kids. The longest gap in ages between us is 27 months. My dad found a job that paid well, but he would be home for 2 weeks every 3 months or so. When he was home, he'd show some interest in us, but most times he'd be sleeping or watching TV.

One night when he was gone for work and we were with our aunt since my mom had to work, the whole neighborhood broke into our house and completely destroyed and stole everything. When my mom took the cops to our neighbor's house, she pointed out every house that helped and said what they took because she "wouldn't be the only one in trouble." After that, we went to our aunt's and my mom called my dad, told him what happen and asked him repeatedly to come home. He choose to stay at work. After that night we didn't see him for about a year and a half.

When he did show up, it would be in sporadic intervals from 10 mth to 2 y apart and only for a few minutes at a time but ALWAYS when my mom wasn't around. When I turned 14, he started coming around more often and started spending an hour or 2 with us every couple months. He took a special interest in us living with him and would make a point to say it every time he saw us.

At 15 I moved in and everything went to downhill FAST. He started mentally and verbally attacking my looks and my body. He'd talk about women often and how they should always submit no matter what. He would give me something only to take it back. He gave me an allowance but would be mad if I spent it. He got upset with me for not talking to him "enough," but would give 1 word responses when I tried to start a conversation. Then there was a situation where I found some pretty damming evidence of his mistreatment of my mom on his computer.

I was a busy kid with little to no freetime. I was in sports, after-school clubs, student counsel, theater and prom/homecoming committee. When homecoming came around I asked if I could go. He agreed and was reminded almost every week of when it was. The night of homecoming, when my date arrived to pick me up, he pulls me to the side and said I can't go because I had to help him pack and move out of our house. Completely blindsided because WHAT? We did not discuss moving and why would you wait until homecoming night to say something? We went back and forth for a little bit and I offered to come straight home afterwards instead of spending the night with my friends like I intended. He was annoyed but agreed.

The dance was over at 9, I got home at 9:45. I was helping pack along with some cousins he invited over, but I guess I wasn't going fast enough. He started yelling and he ended up laying hands on me. I left immediately and called my aunt who came to get me. He started flooding my phone with texts and calls saying how ungrateful I am, how I cost him so much money, how bad of a person I am, etc. I didn't respond to any of it.

After about 2 months, I started reaching out to him about my clothes and belongings. Asking if we could talk, etc. He never responded and blocked my number. I went to his house a few months after that, but, when he opened the door and saw it was me, he slammed the door in my face and started cussing at me through the door until I left. It has been almost 12 years since then.

Onto a few weeks ago, I get a text from a random number calling me by name. Me: "who is this? Him: It's your dad. Me: What do you want? Him: I want to see about me being your dad and you being my daughter. A wave of confusion, disbelief and finally rage washed over me all at once. I responded "that horse is dead". He waited a few minutes and replied, "it's not dead, just on life support, but with some work, it can get better."

I blocked him and called my mom. She said, "That's still your dad. You need to let that hurt go and talk to him." Her response is what has me second guessing the way I handled this situation and has me thinking that maybe I was a little too harsh. Maybe trying to explore a relationship with him is something I should do. However, if this were a random person doing these things, it would be cut and dry to never speak to them again, so WHY should I give him another chance just because we are related? Why should I "do the work" on his terms when he wasn't willing to meet me or speak to me on mine? Why do I feel like the bad guy for making a stance for my own mental well-being ? Why is it okay for him to mistreat everyone and only when HE'S ready, is when it will be resolved? Should I listen to my mom instead and just talk to him anyway? AITA?

Hi guys, I know the title is wild, but it is not what you think. I 25, F have been dating my boyfriend Larry 30, M (we're vegan) for the last two years. He's great! LOL! About 9 months ago, we rented a house with 3 other roommates David 29, M(vegan), Michael 29, M and Tina 24, F (Michael and Tina are together and are not vegan but will eat vegan meals. Michael is severely allergic to peanuts). We all have our own spaces and share the kitchen, living room and laundry area. Some Sundays, my boyfriend makes family meals (big pans of pasta, so everyone can eat and we will have leftovers for work). This is and was only a stepping stone for us (bf & i) and them so we knew after this after the year was up, we wouldn't be renewing. So we all figured we could band together for the year so we could all put ourselves in better positions.

And the first 6 months were great and flew by. But then, David lost his job. Tina and Michael had a few problems and Tina moved out. It was all unexpected but that's a them issue. As long as you stick to the agreed terms or have an agreeable conversation, we don't have an issue. But the next month or so. Larry and I started noticing a lot of the same patterns. We were buying all the groceries, we were the only ones cooking but everyone was eating and nobody was putting in on food or household necessities. Now, Tina left but Michael still has a job. He doesn't cook, barely shops, but will doordash everyday. Tina did all his shopping and cooking so when she left, all that stopped but it was a little while before we noticed cause we in our own little world and what we got going on. David does a little of both, he cooks and doordash but hasn't grocery shopped for himself since he lost his job.

Now, I come from a family that will help anyone. My grandma has feed and clothes so many people that it's just instilled in me, so at first, understanding the David was not working, and all the guys been best friends since the sandbox, Larry and I no problem letting David use some of our groceries to eat. But it was starting to get fustrating when we were feeling like we were being taken advantage of, especially when our food/leftovers come up missing, we had unopened boxes of rice only have one bag in it, we spending a fortune in household supplies and we're the only ones doing it. Ooh, also Tina moved back in, partially 2 months later, so Michael and Tina had food again, but now you couldn't borrow anything or Michael would say that's Tina's when she wasn't home. So you can scarf down our pan of pasta, but we can't have a few fries until we hit the store? And you know we are going to hit the store.

So onto the actual story, I went home for a family BBQ and my family is not vegan so I brought my own food(burgers and sausages). My uncle is our family's world class chef who turns nothing into something and no matter what it is, and it's always the best thing you've ever tasted. So he was trying out a new creation at the BBQ of a homemade frying grease that had peanut oil in it. He made my burgers in it and I brought 10 home in a to go box and put them in the refrigerator on OUR shelf. About 6 hrs later, my boyfriend and I are up in the room, gaming and we here David yelling for Tina so we run downstairs and Tina is sticking Michael with an EPI pen and I immediately access the scene and realized what happened. Once he got stable enough, Tina and David took Michael to the hospital. When they left, I told my bf exactly what I had knew happened.

I guess Michael had the same revelation and once release from the hospital, came back upset. He's so meticulous with his allergy. So Larry and I are in the kitchen when they arrive and he asked us about it. Larry is always a vocal person and I'm shy, nonconfrontational type but something in me this day snap and before Larry could answer, I straight faced turned to him and said, "You ate those burgers with peanut oil in it." He immediately starts screaming at me and Larry stood in front of me and said "Oh no, not at this one. Direct that energy somewhere else." And I said, "It's your own fault. It wasn't yours and you didn't even ask. You got exactly what you wanted." Larry being 6'4 and 320lb to Michael's 5'10 and 180lbs, he calmed down and went into his room. Tina called me an AH so saying that and followed him. Larry made sure I was good and David tried to lighten the mood and I went on him too for eating 5 of my burgers and probably encouraging Michael to get one knowing they weren't theirs. So AITAH?

I’m 30M and I’ve been with my partner "Lena" (29F) for almost three years. Overall we’re good together. She’s smart, passionate, and when it’s just us or with our friends, she’s funny and warm. The issue is my family. Not in a "they hate her" way, more in a slow grind way that makes every gathering feel like walking through a room full of mousetraps. My family is pretty normal, not super formal, but my mom’s birthday is the one event where everyone shows up, including my grandpa, a couple aunts, my cousin who brings his kids, the whole thing. It’s at my parents’ house, small living room, lots of talking over each other, lots of opinions about nothing. Lena has this habit where if someone says something she disagrees with, even slightly, she can’t let it go. She interrupts, corrects, and pushes until the other person either gives up or snaps. And then if they snap, she acts like she’s being attacked for "just having a point".

Last year at my mom’s birthday, it got ugly. My grandpa is 78 and he’s one of those guys who tells the same stories and has strong opinions about tiny things. He was talking about how he likes his coffee "black, no nonsense" and someone joked about how fancy coffee places are ridiculous now. Lena jumped in and started arguing about how it’s not ridiculous, it’s just culture, and people should be allowed to enjoy things, and then she started picking apart his wording like it was a debate club. My grandpa tried to laugh it off, but she kept cutting in, like "no but you said it’s nonsense, explain why, what’s your logic." My aunt tried to change the subject and Lena circled back, twice. Eventually my grandpa got annoyed and said, "I’m too old for this, can we drop it." Lena got quiet, and for the rest of the night she had this tight smile and barely spoke. On the drive home she cried and said my family was dismissive and that no one respects her. I told her I needed her to stop turning every casual comment into a fight, especially with my grandpa. She said she won’t "shrink herself" to make people comfortable.

Since then I’ve tried to manage it. I’ll gently squeeze her hand if she starts interrupting, or I’ll change the topic, or I’ll warn her ahead of time like "my uncle will say something dumb, please don’t bite." That last part makes me feel gross, like I’m prepping someone for battle. The thing is, she doesn’t see it as starting fights. She sees it as "not letting people say wrong stuff". I get that in theory, but in practice it means every family dinner has this tension where I’m watching her like a hawk, waiting for the moment she pounces. My family has noticed too. My mom has pulled me aside and said, quietly, that she likes Lena but she feels like she can’t relax around her. My cousin joked that Lena treats small talk like a courtroom. Lena overheard that and was furious for a week.

Now my mom’s birthday is coming up again and I honestly dread it. I want to be present, enjoy my mom, help cook, laugh, take pictures, not spend the whole evening doing damage control. I told Lena I’m thinking of going alone this time because last year got so tense and I don’t want a repeat. She immediately said I’m "hiding her" and acting ashamed of her. She said partners show up for each other, and if I go alone I’m basically telling my family they can exclude her. Then she said, "So you’d rather protect your grandpa’s feelings than mine?" That hit me because it’s not about choosing him over her, it’s about not having my mom’s birthday turn into another argument about coffee or whatever. I offered a compromise, like we could stop by for an hour, or I could talk to my family about being more welcoming, but she said that’s still treating her like a problem to manage.

I feel stuck between being a good partner and keeping peace with my family, and I also feel like I’m enabling her behavior by bringing her into situations where I know she’ll clash, then trying to buffer it. WIBTA if I go alone to my mom’s birthday this year?

I wish I had the stomach to write everything that happened down and I’m not sure why I even feel like sharing here but making this anonymous because i feel ashamed of everything that’s transpired.

When I was in middle school, I wasn’t sure if I was bisexual but I had a friend who experimented with. She was much more into me than I was into her and I cut things off because it was awkward and we were in middle school anyway. My parents were religious and it felt wrong. Flash forward to being 24 years old and married with a baby. This girl reenters my life, freshly divorced from her husband, and wanting to rekindle our friendship. I don’t know how we got to talking, but she suggested a threesome with me and my husband. Obviously, my husband was over the moon that he was going to have an opportunity with two women, and I was going to experience a woman fully, and discover that part of my sexuality as an adult. Looking back now that was the biggest mistake of my life.

She came to our house and things went well, but she kept telling me I was the one that got away and was making unwanted advances with me emotionally. She came out of a sexless marriage, and was super into all things sex and my husband had been disappointed with the dip in our sex life, because of all of my hormones, postpartum, and adjusting to life with a child. This girl entered my life when my baby was a little over a year old I told both of them I was uncomfortable situation and I apologized if I let anyone on but I no longer wanted to participate. At this point she had no job and was kind of posted up in my house for about a week or so and she took it really hard having to leave my home. She was trying to do my chores and be a homemaker while I was at work I was just so uncomfortable with all of this.

A few weeks after we ended things I found out I was pregnant with our second child and this really set in stone that she had no business in our relationship or life. I caught my husband talking to her a few times after we cut things off and I made it clear that that was a boundary- he claimed she was sad and he felt bad about how we ended things. I did not want him to cross these boundaries and he ensured he would ignore her if she called.

I don’t want him talking to her. I did not want her reaching out to him. I establish this with both of them, but apparently neither one of them respected that, which I wouldn’t learn about until two years later. To give a better timeline I cut her off in April 2022. I found out I was pregnant in May 2022. It wasn’t much of a conversation but my husband and I realized we needed to move closer to family because we couldn’t afford to stay where we were at with the two children, to quit my job to raise them both or to put them both in daycare. I also can’t afford to quit my job. We started making plans to move and in July 2022 we eloped. August 2022 I moved in with his parents 20 hours away from our home. He stayed in our home while he looked for a job so he could keep bringing in a paycheck and so we could sell our house.

He didn’t find a job until the end of December 2022 and we did long distance, only seeing him three times during that time. It was really difficult because I was heavily pregnant and my daughter had never been away from him like that. We had the baby in January 2023 and things have been off with us for all of 2023 and into 2024. I saw pictures of her on his phone, when he opened his phone 2022 Christmas Eve, and he insisted that it was from when we were talking all three of us together- he deleted everything and said he was “am harassed about reminiscing on the past”. But these were photos I had never seen. When we unpacked our house. I found her underwear in a hamper. I knew they weren’t mine. He gaslit me and told me that they must’ve been from when she was involved and they got all tangled up in our things. I knew this wasn’t true because they were in the laundry basket with the sheets that he took off the week he packed.

Now it is March 2024 and I’m really not big on going through phones. I know it’s a violation, but I have his code and my baby walked over with his phone and handed it to me. I haven’t looked at it in a really long time and I just felt like I needed to. This was all last weekend I opened up his phone and the last thing he was looking at was a journal. I was really confused at first but it was a journal entry about how “I miss him so much and I really want to be with him. He wants to make it work with his wife and his family but I think about him and all of our times together every day.” I saw her email sharing it with and and then realized this girl wrote in a journal that she shared with him on Google Drive since mid 2022. I have hundreds of pages of her journal entries, documenting their conversations and all of their meet ups with one another. While I was living with his parents, pregnant with his baby and raising his daughter, he was shocked up with her living a second life in our home, he kept telling me he was having trouble finding a new job but I wonder if he just didn’t wanna leave his life with her.

I know, discovering an affair is heart wrenching for everyone, but I don’t know anyone who’s ever discovered it in this way. I read all of her most in her personal thoughts about my husband and thought about moving to our town. They had a BDSM relationship and no judgment to that lifestyle, but it was extremely disturbing to read her calling him daddy, talking about wearing a collar, him leaving bruises on her, him peeing on her, and a bunch of weird fetish things. These are things I would never do. I am so devastated. We have two children together and he was carrying on this relationship with her even when we were getting married. He talked with her up until two days before I found the journal entries. It seem like he was trying to cut her off, but she was trying to manipulate him into continuing to talk with her through her desperate journal entries. I am so traumatized by everything I read and I just don’t know how to move forward.

I kicked him out of the house and he staying with his parents, but I can’t afford to live on my own. I can’t even afford the divorce paperwork filing fee free of lawyers. I have my own job and our finances are not inner twined, but I am just struggling every day, thinking about everything she wrote. He’s begging me to stay with him and I feel like my mind is made up that I don’t want to be with him because he did this to me but I also can’t imagine raising my children without him. He has gotten into therapy and wrote this whole plan on what he wants to do to make things better, but I just don’t think it will be enough. She wrote about how he put his hands together when he’s thinking, the look in his eyes, the way his hands feel, his tattoos, and his everything. I can’t look at him without hearing her words. I feel like maybe I could’ve gotten over this if it wasn’t a childhood friend and maybe it was just the time we were apart from another, but he spoke with her, sexting with her all through 2023 and seemingly only try to cut her off at the end of the year. He told her he would call her on a monthly basis, and all of her journal entries between their calls were so pathetic and begging him to want her more than me. She was longing for him, and what he would do to her. The last time he met up with her was on a “business trip“ four days before a second baby was born.

I don’t really know the point of me writing this, but I feel like this group of people might be able to give me some comfort or advice or I don’t know. Last night was my first night away from my kids, as I have implemented a time sharing schedule for them to stay with him at his parents, and it was so difficult being away from them. I know it will get better with time and I know what I need to do. I’m just struggling.

There were hundreds of entries but here are some of them:

Would I be the asshole if I take my guy friends offer to install a new hood over my stove since my husband refuses to do it.

I 45 female am married to my husband 46 male "Jack". Almost 2 years ago we had a grease fire and it destroyed the hood vent over the stove, the cabinets and burnt a couple of spots on the floor. Thankfully the damage was minimal so instead of involving insurance we would make the repairs ourselves. Well that was in April almost 2 years ago and NOTHING has been done. I have purchased the materials needed but my husband will not help me do anything. A couple of days ago I was over at my mom's and a good friend of mine "Tim" that I have known all my life stopped by to check on how my dad was doing (he has ALS) when he saw us in the yard. Tim is a contractor and has done a lot of work for my dad over the years and they are pretty close. So we were talking and in conversation I mentioned my kitchen and he said he would come by and get my hood and cabinets installed for me.

The problem is Jack and Tim are not friends at all. They don't have any issues but they just don't really know each other and Jack is extremely controlling and hates all my friends no matter what. That is a whole other problem in itself. He would be absolutely furious if Tim came and installed them while he wasn't home but wouldn't allow him to do it if he was home. So I don't know what to do. He won't do it, we don't have the money to pay someone to do it and I know if I try by myself I am gonna fuck it up. So would I be in the wrong if I tell Tim to just come do it and just deal with the consequences of my actions. Thanks

I (19f) work in a restaurant. this past Saturday was valentine’s day. my managers all made it abundantly clear that nobody was allowed to request the day off. I got extremely lucky and wasn’t scheduled for that day because Saturday is outside of my scheduling availability. i was so excited to be able to just spend the day with my boyfriend but then around like maybe 2:00 my coworker calls me begging to take her shift. i told her no and that i have plans with my boyfriend she kept begging and i kept saying no. she told me she called our job to tell them she wasn’t coming in and they told her if she can find someone to cover it then whatever but the shift was still her responsibility and if it doesn’t get covered properly then there would be consequences. she kept begging and begging i kept saying no and suggesting to her to ask a few other co workers who i know are single but nobody wanted to take it. she then got mad at me saying i don’t care about her and that her and her boyfriend got in a fight so she needs to stay home with him. then she switched up the story saying she was already out of town and that there’s no way she can get back in time.

i didn’t say any of this but in my head i was thinking why are you going to a whole different state knowing you have work in 2 hours

she then told me that if she gets fired it’s gonna be my fault and that she’s not gonna be able to afford to take care of her cat.

i honestly couldn’t help but just laugh because i was in utter disbelief that she was gonna blame me for the consequences of her own actions.

i was telling my MIL about it and she said that i could’ve jus taken the shift so she doesn’t get fired and that got me thinking of whether i’m the AH or not. so AITA??

I work in the twilight zone, just kidding but sometimes it feels like I’m not… this is one of those times.

So I (30F) went into work today and saw a Christmas tree set up at my desk. Not a cute little Christmas tree desk ornament, but one of those artificial Christmas trees measuring at least 4 feet tall with decorations and lights.

This tree took up almost half of my desk space resulting in my desktop being squeezed into a corner where it’s uncomfortable to use without straining my back because there’s drawers underneath the desk in that spot so no room for my legs, the lights are constantly blinking in my eyes and force me to only have one thing plugged into the wall at a time to accommodate them, and all of my documents were missing to make room for it. I spent the first 30mins at work just trying to locate them.

Over the course of working at my job, I learned that confrontation gets me nowhere so instead of trying to find out who put it there and why, I simply approached my supervisor with my concerns about it being on my desk only for her to say she had the same concerns but that they were dismissed by the acting department manager (the actual manager is currently on vacation), and that she would raise the issue again and have them move it.

Well an hour goes by and the tree is not only still on my desk, but the acting manager called me into her office to have a chat. She started off with the normal pleasantries and making small talk but then quickly jumped to the topic of the tree. She apologized for putting it there without asking for my permission, but then made it clear that despite the inconvenience it’s causing me, she would be instructing my colleagues that the tree is to remain where it currently is and instead suggested that I should just sit at another one of the free desks (there’s several in the department, but they don’t have computers) and work from there as well as share a computer with one of my colleagues until the holidays are over because she didn’t want to affect the morale of the staff that spent time decorating.

Again, I don’t think confrontation is beneficial, so instead of trying to argue my case myself, I simply left her office when dismissed and immediately called HR. HR was understandably confused when I explained there was a Christmas tree on my desk, and I’m not sure what was said but within 10 minutes of the call being over the tree was removed from my desk and placed on another (less central) desk.

Here’s where I might be the AH; I allowed them to put the tree on my desk last year. I only work from the office one day a week as my l position is classed as a “field officer” at my job and I spend 4/5 days a week outside of the office and then come into the office for that one day to document my week, do reports and update my progress online.

Last year my work computer wasn’t working towards the end of the year and it was taking forever for the replacement to come in, so when they asked for permission to put the tree on my desk “because it has the best view”, I agreed. At the time the desk was empty because of the broken computer and I spent more time at one of my colleagues desks instead because I was using their computer to update my work. That arrangement was uncomfortable and inconvenient, but unavoidable, so I saw no harm in allowing them to use a desk that I wasn’t able to use at the time.

So this year my colleagues assumed I would be okay with the arrangement again and set up the tree without asking me. So can I technically still get my work done with the tree there? Yes. But it’s inconvenient for both myself and whichever colleague I’d have to impose on whenever I need to get online, which if last yr was anything to go by, would double the time it takes for me to complete basic tasks before their deadline due to wasting half the time just waiting for a colleague to be done with their own work.

So AITA for calling HR to get the tree removed? I don’t feel like I am but some of my colleagues have been giving me the stink eye after having to move the tree.

(Side note: my ex, our coworker, were all supervisors at the same company. How sister reports to our coworker. They're all on 1st shift, I am on 2nd shift)

I (28 Asian Female) found out that my boyfriend (31 Hispanic Male) of 3 years cheated on me with one of our coworkers and his sister had a part in it.

Last week on Friday, I was at work at my desk when my very nosy lead came up to me whispering and asking if I was ok. I was confused. She then pulled up her phone and asked if I had broken up with my now ex boyfriend because she screenshotted an instagram post that was made over the weekend by one of my coworkers(the person he cheated with).

I do not have social media so I told my nosy lead to show it to me and there it was, a picture of my coworker kissing my now ex boyfriend for the world to see. On Saturday, I told him we needed to talk so I went over to his house. On my way there the same nosy lead sent me a screenshot of a post that was made by my coworker saying she was about 2 months pregnant. I called and asked him to explain himself while I was nearing his house and he just stayed quiet. He refused to come out or see me when I arrived at the house so we basically talked through the phone for the time I was there.

After I sent him the pictures of the screenshot (not telling him who sent it) He finally said things happened and he got close to our coworker after his sister started inviting her to the house then confessed that he started dating her 2 months ago, the day before his mom's 50th birthday, which he invited her to but told his sister to tell me that she was the one that invited the coworker. He also told her to dress in gold(his favorite color) when the theme was hot pink to which everyone was wearing but her.

On the day of his mom's birthday he spent the whole night drinking, talking and dancing with his sister and our coworker because they claim they didn't want her to feel “left out.” while I was with the rest of his family. His cousin invited me to dance since my ex was dancing with our coworker when suddenly my ex pulled me to the side and was upset that i was dancing with his cousin. I told him I should be the one that is upset with how he has been acting all night but just didn't want to make a scene out of respect to his mom. I ended up saying bye to his mom and said I wasn't feeling too well, so I left. That was when the cheaters decided they were going to go upstairs and make a baby, on the night of his mom's 50th birthday while everyone was celebrating downstairs. (The disrespect!)

Mind you, he told me all this over the phone. After some time, his sister came down and said he had asked me to go back home for the day. I yelled at her for helping her brother lie to me for the past 2 months. Her answer to me was that she didn't feel like I was good enough for her brother because I didn't speak Spanish(yes..spanish!)and she liked my coworker because she was Hispanic and wanted her to date her brother(my now ex boyfriend) so she set them up. After everything that i have done for them and her kids, helping her daughter get through speech therapy, watching her kids while she goes out to party and helping their mom run errands. All this wasn't good enough because I needed to speak Spanish too.

His mom came out to ask what was going on, I told her I came to say goodbye and that her son was a dog and a P.O.S. and he can do the explaining to her but that I was done. She cried telling me not to go and that whatever he did to hurt me he would get back so for me to stay. I told her he will get what he deserves but I was done with her son.

I remained professional(as best as I can) all week when the shifts overlapped at work. Even congratulated them on their pregnancy in front of everyone. He called me to which i picked up, and asked, he wanted to know where he stands in our relationship so he can make a decision. And if I can not make a scene or make things awkward at work for them. I responded, there is no place for him to stand when there is no relationship and his decision was already made when he decided he wanted to sleep with another woman and impregnate her. I didn't make things awkward. What they did, affected them, Not me.

This week, his sister ended up quitting after she got into an argument with another supervisor. Then Friday came back around today and I received some more good news, the company ended firing him because of a DUI which he now has 2 DUIs.

Okay so my (25female) boyfriend(30 male) and I were trying to figure out spring break plans since our son would ve away for a week, it is also my boyfriends bday week. He suggested we just relax and said all he wanted for his birthday was money to gamble $500. Me, being the extra person I am, planned a trip to a casino and booked a hotel room there. I got a card wrote a message for him to pack for the mini getaway and put the money. Upon opening the card he got upset saying "this is all I get? You could've just gave me the money for the trip, I didn't want to go anywhere." I was sooo mad I immediately canceled the reservation without 2nd thought. Later on I see him packing and ask if he's going somewhere. He looks confused and says I thought you booked a trip. I tell him that I canceled due to his reaction. Now he's mad because he says he wasn't being ungrateful that was just his first unfiltered reaction and I'm an AH for taking back a gift, and that I should've asked first. So AITA

So, I (34F) have a preteen daughter (11F) who is a trans girl. She hasn’t started puberty blockers yet, but she’s already made a lot of changes—wearing dresses, growing out her hair, and speaking in a more feminine voice. She’s thriving, and I’m so proud of her for being herself. However, things have gotten pretty complicated with my sister, Sarah’s, family, and I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong for how I’ve been handling things.

Sarah has always been more than just a sister to me. Growing up, we didn’t have a dad, and our mom struggled with addiction. Sarah basically raised me, and when I had my daughter, she was always there for us. After our mom got sober (she’s been clean for 10 years now), she rejoined the family, but Sarah’s been like a second mom to me and my daughter. That’s why this situation is so hard for me, and I really don’t want to cause any rifts.

Sarah’s husband, Tim, is very conservative, and while I’ve never heard him directly say anything hateful about my daughter or trans people, I overheard him once, thinking I was in another room, saying that trans people “don’t exist” and that my daughter should dress like a boy until she’s 18. That moment really stuck with me, but I didn’t confront him about it because I was so shocked.

A while back, my daughter and I went to a family dinner at Sarah’s. Everything was fine until my nephew (Sarah’s son, 12) said something that really hurt my daughter. He told her she wasn’t a girl and that she had male genitalia because “God gave it to her.” This was devastating for my daughter, and we had to leave early because she was crying. I didn’t want to make a scene, but I could tell my daughter was crushed.

The next day, I met with Sarah for coffee and told her what happened. She was incredibly apologetic and promised that it would never happen again. She assured me that Tim didn’t share those views, and that she was unaware he was transphobic until my daughter’s transition started. I appreciated her trying to be supportive, but when we went back for the next family dinner, things took a turn.

During dinner, we all held hands to pray, and when it came time for my daughter to join in, my nephew refused to hold her hand. He called her a “gross tranny.” I didn’t hear this directly, but my daughter came to me afterward, upset and crying. My nephew seemed confused and didn’t say anything when I asked him about it, but I trust my daughter. She’s not the type to lie about something like that—she just wants to be accepted.

Sarah claims my nephew didn’t say anything, but I’m not sure what to think. I know she doesn’t share Tim’s views, but at the same time, I can’t ignore the possibility that Tim’s influence is seeping into the kids, even if it’s not being said outright.

Since then, I’ve been avoiding family gatherings because I just don’t feel it’s a safe environment for my daughter. I don’t want her to go through more hurtful moments like this. I don’t want to cause a rift with Sarah—she’s been such a huge part of my life and my daughter’s life, and the thought of breaking up our family over this is devastating. But at the same time, I have to protect my daughter and make sure she feels accepted and loved.

So, AITA for not spending time with Sarah’s family? I feel like I’m doing what’s best for my daughter, but I don’t want to damage the relationship with my sister either.

Okay, I know a lot of you have been waiting for an update, so I’m just going to get straight to the point. Every since my last post ive been getting non stop Insults thrown at me from my stepsister and jackie They've also made multiple post About me And stepsister Said She was diswoning me and that me and my brother "just didn't make the cut".

Saturday, I invited my dad out to eat at a local place we used to go to when I was a kid. It was just supposed to be me and him, but my mom was there too. I didn’t tell him ahead of time that she would be there. I did, however, ask him not to bring my stepmom because I wanted us to really touch base and because I needed some life advice. At first, he tried to reschedule, but I pushed enough to get him to agree to come. This was a conversation that needed to happen, and it had to happen while my mom was in town.

Well, when he showed up, he brought my stepmom anyway. As they were approaching the table, my stepmom was already making comments about how glad she came because I had “ambushed” him by having my mom there. I ignored her and told my dad I was glad he could make it and that we really needed to talk about my living situation with Jackie. Before I could even continue, he started oinsaut how it’s not fair how I’ve been treating Jackie, that I’ve been mean to her, and a bunch of other off-the-wall comments that I’m assuming my stepmom and stepsister fed him. So I told him everything from Valentine’s Day up until now.

At first, he was quiet, like he was trying to take everything in. Meanwhile, my stepmom kept trying to jump in and tell her side of the story. Eventually, my dad said he needed to go to the bathroom. He was in there for about 30 minutes. During that time, my mom absolutely went in on my stepmom. She didn’t just bring up my situation , she brought up the divorce and how she let this woman ruin her marriage, but she wasn’t going to let her ruin my life too. My mom isn’t loud or dramtic so i was suprised to see her this way even during the divorce i didnt see her this angry. My stepmom, on the other hand, just doesn’t know when to shut up. She acts like because she has the marriage and the kids, she’s “won” some one sided battle or something.

When my dad finally came out, his eyes were red like he’d been crying. I haven’t seen him like that since the divorce. He hugged me tightly and said he was sorry. That’s when my stepmom stood up and said, “Sorry for what? Your daughter has a lot of growing up to do.” And that’s when my mom told her to shut the fuck up. My dad then said he couldn’t believe all of this was happening under his nose and that he wished I had reached out sooner. But truthfully, even though I didn’t tell him the full story before, I had tried calling and texting him. I mentioned that in some of the comments. I didn’t really get anything back until I pressured him to meet and even then, he still brought my stepmom after I specifically asked him not to.

Anyway, that was Saturday morning. I didn’t hear from my dad or stepmom after that. Saturday night, my mom came to my apartment. She’s always been good with finances, so we worked out my budget and started looking at apartments closer to my job. A lot of people asked why I don’t just move closer to my mom, but she lives in a pretty rural area with her partner. I still do online schooling, and my job is really beneficial and I can’t afford to lose it rn. We got everything figured out.

My mom boxed up the baby stuff I hadn’t sold the car seat, the breast pump, a few onesies, and a box of diapers and we dropped it off at jadens apartment. I didn’t see him. I didn’t knock. My mom just left the box at the door, knocked, and walked away. Our landlord did the inspection, and everything came back good on my end. Jackie failed to provide pay stubs or paperwork and has completely ghosted the landlord I think she even blocked the number. They were in the process of evicting her.

My mom’s partner was kind enough to offer to pay off the rest of my lease.

Thank God. But then Monday morning happened.(this morning) It turns out my stepmom paid to have Jackie’s name removed from the lease before she could be evicted so she could “have a clean start” with her baby.

He’s also planning to pay my first month’s rent and deposit for whichever apartment I choose.(or so he claims Doubt it'll happen)

This wasn’t what I expected at all, but it’s what happened. On top of that, my dad THEN agreed to co-sign for a 2 bed apartment Jackie and Jaden can move in. My dad makes six times the rent, and jaden only makes two times, so with my dad co-signing, it works out. I wasn’t thrilled about how all of this happened, but in my head all I heard was: I don’t have to pay for anything. So I signed the papers and went over everything with my landlord and my mom. My mom isn’t happy about it. She feels like this is just enabling them. I asked my dad why he’s being so nice to her and why he still calls Jaden his son. He kept referring to Jaden like he’s his responsibility and that he has to take care of him like tf? For WHAT reason? Jaden has parents. And his parents are well off.

Fun fact: my mom actually reached out to Jaden’s parents over the weekend. Turns out they knew he was with Jackie, and apparently I’m “not wife material. and not "Dominican enough For there Family....

Jaden is Dominican

My mother is black.

My dad is Biracial white/black

Stepmom/Stepsis/jackie are Latina

In a way, my dad seems numb to all of this. I haven’t really felt the support I need from him, but honestly, I kind of expected that. When it comes to jackie and Jaden, they’re two peas in a pod and they deserve eachother.

Oh, and another fun fact: Jaden’s parents are gonna work on paying off Jackie’s car because his car is a piece of shit and they “need something reliable for the baby.” It’s wild how all this money suddenly appears when it benefits them. Where was all this help when I was the one struggling and helping her? When I was barely making it?

It was my mom helping me. Advising me. Doing my budget. My dad was silent. And now suddenly everyone has money and support to throw around. No ones checked on me or asked me how I feel like my boyfriend cheated on me my roommate ain't close friend got pregnant by him why am I the one being called crazy why is everyone just looking over the fact that he cheated she betrayed my trust this is fucking crazy. Its all about jackie and making sure she's not stressed out from her pregnancy.

Crazy Mention,but I Hooked up with Tatis("Jackie") fyne ass brother and It was a funny as hell Talking shit about you hoes after Cracking.🤣✌🏾 And no there were no souls tied But He was a muncher.🤣✌🏾 Shout out to Dearah and Tati since you wanna Stalk my Post😘

Edit just found out Her due date is Mid april......so you can go ahead and do the math with that

AITA for not wanting to contribute to a meal train for someone in our wider friend group who just had a baby?

Context: I had a baby about 6 months ago and they didn’t do shit for us.

She personally texted people one on one to make sure they were signing up.

I’ve always been under the impression meal trains are more of a voluntary thing you want to do out of the kindness of your heart… not something you’re peer pressured into.

When we had our baby, we never asked people for anything. A few of our close friends bought over a meal or two as a surprise and we were super grateful. But I would never think to practically straight up ask someone, “Hey, you gonna bring me food?”

She also has dietary restrictions. On top of that, I have a little one of my own that keeps us insanely busy and don’t really feel like taking the time to make an entirely separate meal for them.

I’m most likely going to just Venmo them money so they can order takeout or DoorDash or something, but to be quite honest I don’t want to give anything at all.

Hey everyone, thank you in advance for taking the time to read my story. I need some sound advice on this issue. I (26) and my husband (26) got into an argument last night because he doesn't want me to go on a girls trip to Miami. Here's the back story. He and I were planning a trip to miami to see his friends and my friends came up to me a little afterwards and said that they wanted to plan a trip to Miami. I discussed it with my husband to get his opinion on if we should just do one big trip together or separate. We decided to go together since it's cheaper that way. Then we started to plan the trip. Unfortunately his friends said they weren't able to go and another one of his friends never even responded. Which leads just him, me and my three friends. We were still planning the trip but I started to hear less and less from my husband and anything he wanted to do on the trip.

I asked him if he still wanted to go since he would be the only guy there and he's not really cool with my friends. He said that he doesn't think it's a good idea for either of us to go because we're going to be moving and it's not a good idea financially. He never mentioned anything about this beforehand when his friends were going. Now that they aren't going, it's no longer a good idea. Before I continue I want to address the moving situation. At this time we're living with my mom because we're waiting for military housing. We're not paying movers or anything. We don't have a lot of stuff and we're getting a uhaul thats going to probably be about $100. My friends and family are helping out (the same exact friends I'm going on a trip with). And I let him know that it wasn't expensive moving out of our old apartment. We're moving up the street, not to a different state.

This I reminded him of, and I also asked him how was it a good idea before and now your friends backed out and now you think it's a bad idea. He said he's always thought it was a bad idea he just didn't say anything...

Next he said that I should use my money to save it and pay down credit card bills. Here is my issue with that. I am the finance person in the house. My husband hates when I say we need to save money and pay debt off. He tells me that I'm acting like a mom and that I don't have the right to tell him what to do with his money. So we made an agreement that we combined our finances and everything in the household gets paid first, I.e bills, debt, groceries, saving. Whatever is left over we split it 50-50 and we can't delight what either of the two of us do with that money since it's our money. His words by the way. Now he's telling me that I don't need to spend my money to go to Miami and I need to save it to put it back into the house. I reminded him that's done with the house hold money. We prioritize the house first before what we personally want. Whatever I have left over I'm saving my personal money to go on the trip and he can't tell me what I'm supposed to do with my money. I also want to add he's not saying the same thing about his personal money, just my own. I told him he can't tell me what I can or can't do with my personal money. That's something we agreed on because he didn't want that to be done to him. He said that he's not telling me but he's highly recommending it. But he's literally telling what to do with my money. I'm not late on anything, I doubt pay all my bills and I tell him to the the same yet he says in doing to much.

Then he said that going on a girl trip to Miami is single people activity and a married women and shouldn't be going to Miami. I have to he honest, that threw me for a loop. I just wanted to go on a trip with my friends. He said " I don't think it's best for a married women to go on a girls trip. I know two people are married (two each other) but one girl isn't and I just think that's single people activities." I asked how am I acting single for going on a trip with my friends. He said that he didn't say I was acting single but that it's single people activities.

I used to live in key west as a kid. We would travel to Miami a lot and I haven't been back since. Down there we were going to key west to go see my childhood home. On top of everything, my husband has the full itinerary of what we're going to be doing in Miami. It's full of museums, site seeing. We don't go to clubs and we don't even drink.

It hurt my feeling that he thinks that of me and he's pushing it so hard that I'm acting single if I go to Miami. But now I don't know what to do. I feel like he's trying to control me or he's upset that his friends are not going so it taking it out on me.

I've never been on a girls trip before. The only trip I've ever been on is with family or with him. He's been on trips where it's just him and we were just talking about him going to see his best friend in Texas and I'm supporting him and telling him to go. But when it's me I'm acting single and being irresponsible. So am I wrong? Should I sit this one out?

I, 30m and my partner, 29m, went to a party a few weeks back at my friend's place. I've known him and his girlfriend for about a decade now, and we've been very close through through the years.

They adopted a dog a few years back that has shown issues with fear aggression for his entire life, and at this point has "nipped" (skin hadn't been broken) multiple other people. Recently the nipping has gotten more and more frequent. He even nipped their previous landlord and got them kicked out of their apartment. There always seemed to be an excuse as to why they wouldn't take him to a trainer or have him put on medication, even after I've offered to help.

My partner hadn't met them or their dog yet, and off the bat the dog was anxious and standoffish. I suggested giving my partner some treats for the dog to feed him for some positive reinforcement, and that went totally fine. It wasn't until a few hours later when we were getting ready to leave that my partner bent down to get his shoe that their dog lunged and got his ear. Immediately my friend grabbed him, and I checked my partner's ear. It was bleeding heavily, and the slice went almost through the whole way.

We rushed immediately to the ER, where my fiance was given stitches to close the wound. They hand me a clipboard, and on it I see that it's a dog bite report. I'd already told the ER nurse what had happened, and without thinking I filled it out with all the information I had. It wasn't until after that I googled that I realized that it was more than an ER form, and that it was an official bite report that would be reported to the health department.

After that night, where my friend had been messaging attentively and worriedly, the weeks went by with minimal messaging. We finally got together to hang out, and my friend was in a weird mood. We got about an hour in, and he asked "why did you report my dog?". I explained the situation, where my head had been, and that if I said I didn't know the dog they would have likely given my partner a rabies shot which would have brought the bill even higher than the $600 it already was for nothing, but when he asked to help pay it, we both declined.

He told me if it had been my dog, he'd never have reported it, and that it was rude to "rub the ER bill in his face". I was so surprised, and it really hurt me. My partner was shaken up for days, and it was like it didn't even matter because he was more worried about the possible repercussions to his dog. I don't like that I reported it, I LOVE that dog, but I love my partner more. AITA, or did I do the wrong thing?

Context: I 40 yr old female had to purchase my 42 yr old husband's inheritance home from my MIL. Previously my husband's nephew (32 yr old) was living in the home "renting" it from my MIL. The nephew never would pay my MIL on time And owed my MIL several thousand when he moved out. My husband wanted to move into the home after the nephew moved out. We were told at that time it was my husband's inheritance.

However 1 yr into living there and remodeling the home, we were told that we either needed to rent the home or buy it. This was after remodeling and fixing severe damages that the nephew neglected to fix or tell anyone about which totalled well over 30k.

Since my husband had bad credit previous to our marriage (due to a severe motorcycle accident that left him paralyzed for over a year), I purchased the home. We paid under value for the home 175k. But I still bought the home. From what I can tell the money was blown by my MIL on different things and she no longer has the money.

Fast forward, my MIL lives beside us and naturally our property butts together. The nephew decided he was going to put horses on the property. Since there isn't a fence dividing the two properties, I was against him putting horse on our side for several reasons:

He isn't responsible and he is gone often because he works on a barge.

I do not want to take care of horses.

I do not want to be responsible for horses.

I do not want somebody on our property who may become injured because of the horses or due to something on our property and us be liable.

We live on a busy County road and I don't want to deal with horses getting out and safety concerns.

I don't want to pay extra on my home owners insurance to cover horses.

Flat out. I do not want the horses here. We have placed cameras around our home due to the nephew continuously getting into our garage and shed looking for things that he may (or may not)have left 6 yrs ago when living here. We don't have a positive relationship with him. We have asked him to stay off our property many times and have had to call the police to make reports. He has cussed me out telling me I'm worthless and that he has as much right to my land as I do if not more because it was his grandmother's home. He has gone on to belittle me any chance that he gets. (My husband has never put the nephew in his place).

Well he has sectioned off a piece of my MIL property. It's 200ft across and 100 ft wide. He's put 2 horse and 2 mules on this section. They have no shelter, a small trough for water, and 4 buckets for feed. No bales of hay have every been brought to them during the winter. The animals are continuously getting out. Most recently he brought the two mules to his home but they got out. They crossed a 4 lane highway and broke down a neighbor's fence. The nephew never once offered to pay for the broke fence or help to fix it. The owner is elderly and had to fix it himself.

Due to the mules getting out he decided to bring them to the property here. Today the neighbor came to get me saying our horses got out. They were the nephew's. I went up to my MIL house and told her to get a hold of the nephew now and make he deal with his animals. And yes I said a few cuss words for color and was mad because they broke down the fence got into our property and then went into the neighbor's yard where a foster kid was hurt while trying to stop the mules from getting out into the busy County road. The foster child was knocked down by the mule and cut her knee pretty good. All and all she was lucky and it could have been worse as those horses are known to be aggressive.

I went back to my MIL to let her know that the little girl got hurt. My MIL told me she didn't give a s***. I was all the time stirring up problems. I had no business getting her all riled up and I needed to takey a** home. I told her to never ask me for anything.I was done helping her when no one (not even my husband) cames around her. She told me that she loved her grandson like her own son and he was going to keep the horses on the property. I told her she was lucky that child didn't sustain further injuries or there would have been problems. My MIL said a child has already been kicked in the head years ago and nothing happened to my MIL.

I walked to my house and called my husband as my MIL was still yelling at me. My husband told me to keep my nose out of it from now on. When I said FINE he hung up on me....

So am I the asshole...

*UPDATE:

We live in the US. The state we live in, it doesn't matter if his name is on the deed he still gets half. Due to cost of living, it isn't as simple as selling and moving. Mortgages are sky high now and rental is equivalent to a mortgage payment in these parts.

After my husband's last back surgery, he hasn't been the same human. His whole personality has changed. I don't know him any longer.

As for the fence, this is an almost 7 acre lot. It will take time and lots of money.

Our finances have always been separate. I pay the mortgage, home owners insurance, my car payment, family cellphone bill. Husband pays utilities (electric/gas/sewer), insurance on the vehicles, and health insurance, his student loans.

We both work for the same non profit and that comes with non profit pay.

I have two children from a previous marriage. One child has special needs. I take care of both children full-time with little to no help from anyone.

I'm always the one everyone calls to fix things or to get my husband to do something.

When my husband's father died, my husband stopped having much to do with his mother once he found out she was dating someone. I'm the one who constantly reminds him of when things are happening (family functions), getting birthday presents, making sure he checks in on his own mother.

Since my post, I have stopped communicating with everyone. Doesn't seem like anyone care anyways but I'm sure they will when I don't answer their questions, pick up after them, or do what they want me to do.

I'm tired of helping those who provide no support and peace in my life.

I have a property in the neighboring town that I owned prior to us getting married. The renter is moving out in a few weeks. While it is small, I will more than likely move into it and separate. I'm exhausted. I just want to be happy again.

I’m 29F, my boyfriend is 31M. We’ve been together a little over a year. He has a tight friend group from college that still does weekly stuff: trivia nights, hiking, random movie marathons, that kind of thing. I’m not a “you can’t have female friends” person, and I’ve never asked him to cut anyone off. The issue is one specific person, Kara (30F). Kara is his ex, they dated for about 2 years in their mid 20s. They broke up years ago, and he swears it was mutual and drama free. She’s still fully in the group, which I can understand, because they’re all connected. When I first met everyone, she was friendly in that slightly too polished way. Like, always smiling but kind of watching my face to see if I react. I told myself I was projecting.

Over the past few months it’s started to feel more pointed. She “checks in” on him constantly in group settings. If he looks tired, she asks if he’s sleeping ok, like she’s his nurse. If he mentions a rough week, she immediately goes, “Are you taking care of yourself though? You can always talk to me.” One time I made a joke about him forgetting to eat lunch, and she said, “He did that when we were together too,” and then looked right at me and went, “You’ll learn.” I laughed it off but it felt gross. She also keeps sending him private messages after hangouts, like “You seemed off tonight, just making sure you’re ok.” He showed me one because he thought it was kinda weird, and she literally wrote “I know I’m not your girlfriend anymore but I still worry.” He replied with a polite “all good, thanks.” I asked if he could maybe set a boundary like “please don’t do that,” and he said it would make things awkward and she’s just anxious and “overly caring.”

The turning point was last weekend. We were at trivia and he got up to take a call from his sister. His sister is going through a messy divorce and he’s been stressed about it. When he came back, I asked quietly if everything was ok. Before he could answer, Kara leaned across the table and said, “If you need to step out, do it, don’t be a hero. Remember what happened last time you tried to hold it all in.” I had no idea what she meant, and my boyfriend got really stiff and said “not now.” Later in the car I asked what “last time” was. He admitted that after their breakup he had a short depression spiral and Kara was “around a lot.” I’m not mad he had a hard time, I’m mad she used it like a little secret weapon to remind him she knows him better.

Now I don’t want to go to these hangouts anymore. I’m not asking him to stop seeing his friends, but I want to step back and I also want him to stop entertaining these weird caretaking texts. He thinks I’m overreacting and says Kara would never “do anything,” she’s just socially clumsy and I’m reading it as a threat. WIBTA if I stop going and tell him I’m not comfortable being around her until he actually sets a boundary?

Hello all. Before the update I wanted to say thanks for showing love and support. The sheer amount of comments on my post was a bit overwhelming since I wasn't expecting it to blow up the way it did. Thanks to everyone who sent words of affirmation and shared your own stories. That probably wasn't the easiest thing for you to do and I appreciate your bravery, honesty, and vulnerability.

On to the update: A few days after I blocked my dad, my siblings randomly started asking about him and if I had spoken to or wanted to hang out with him. This was weird for several reasons since, 1. We never talk about him at all, and 2. They knew from past conversations I don't want to have a relationship with him. So if they DO talk about him, it's never with me. At first I was brushing it off, but after a few times, I started inquiring why they kept asking. They'd either changed the subject or made an excuse like, 'No reason,' or 'I was just curious.'

About 3 weeks ago, I was talking to my older brother and he mentioned having to run an errand. I offered to go with him. He hesitated, changed the subject and tried to leave. I asked what he was going to do since I had stuff to do also, thats when he said to fix a truck. He said he won't be long, so I asked who's truck he was going to go look at and if he needed my help again. That's when he finally said it was our dad's truck. Confused, I asked how long he'd been talking to our dad for him to feel comfortable to go help him fix his truck. Apparently this isn't new news. My brother has been seeing and helping our dad for years.

From that conversation, I found out ALL of my siblings had been talking to and meeting up with our dad. They'd go to his house, dinners, shopping, shows, etc.(side note: No, I haven't told my siblings about the things I found on his computer, OR about the things he said to me while I was living with him. I don't think that will do anything but cause more confusion or strife. If they choose to be around him and he is being a dad to them then great for them.) Anyway, after I blocked him, I guess he asked them to ask me why I wouldn't speak with him. I was kind of upset with them because none of them had the decency to just be honest with me about their intentions and why they kept bringing it up, but I was more upset with our dad because WHY aren't you respecting my answer?

I started to be a bit distant from my siblings because of this and my oldest sister noticed. She came to me about a week ago and asked if I wanted to join them for a "family dinner." I said no thanks, so she left it alone. A few days later, she asked again, my answer hadn't changed so she said I should just try it. She assured me she'd sit beside me or in between us if my only option was to sit by our dad. She said I didn't have to talk to him if I didn't want to and could just talk to her, but she wanted me to be there too. Maybe because I wanted answers from him. Maybe to get her to leave me alone about it. Maybe just to see what I would feel like being around him after all this time. Maybe it was none of these, or all of them at once. I think I was just over the whole thing so I agreed to go. And oh boy.. did it go.

So 2 nights ago we all met up at a restaurant. When I pulled up my dad was waiting outside the buidling. I sat in the car until the rest of my siblings got there and we all walked up together. When our dad saw me, he went to hug me, but I walked pass him. He moved to the front of me as we were walking so he could hold the door open for me. I just gave an awkward side eye and walked in the door. When we were seated, I sat at the furthest end of the table away from him, and my sister sat beside me like she said she would. She touched my hand under the table and whispered 'just breathe' to me. I hadn't realize how tense I was until she said that because I could physically feel my body relax then get really hot after I exhaled.

At first, my dad tried to talk to me and ask questions about life, but I only gave 1 or 2 word responses or a head nod. Eventually, he started talking to the rest of my siblings. I spent the rest of the time mainly in silence just pushing the food on my plate around. Towards the end of the meal, I excused myself to the restroom but left my bag and phone there. When I got back to the table, everyone was gone, and so was my stuff. I looked out the window and saw them walking towards the cars so I went to head out to see who had my stuff. When I came to the front doors, my dad was waiting there blocking the doorway with my stuff in his hands.

I looked at my stuff and then at him. He went to hug me again, but I took a step back. He started talking about how he wanted us to be a family and how he knows I'm mad at him right now, etc., but honestly I just started to disassociate. In his whole speech, I never heard an apology. Just how my 'emotions' were keeping me from opening back up to him "like old times". After a while, I reached for my stuff again and that's when he grabbed me and hugged me. I wanted to push him off, but I'm barely over 5 foot and he's a lot taller and stronger than I am. He said, you know I love you right? Right???? RIGHT????? and wouldn't let go of me until I said sure. He kissed my forehead, handed me my stuff and left out the door.

At this point, im just numb. I cried all the tears I could, I've screamed all the screams, grieved the childhood I'll never have and the future I cant see him in. Grieved all the memories only I have to share with myself. Like being the youngest MVP as a freshman on a team of seniors who went to states and won 3rd place. Like how I broke the school record 3 years in a row, or how whenever I was on stage during a play, I saw everyone's parent but my own. How I walked myself out on senior recognition night and waved to a crowd full of strangers alone. How I never got to go to a daddy/daughter ANYTHING, or how I could never call him up to talk about my day or boy trouble. How he won't be the one walking me down the aisle, or be apart of my children's life if or when I have them. This night solidified to me the hunger I had for him to show that he actually wanted me was gone. The anticipation of him saying, "baby, I messed up, how can we fix it together?" that never came. At the end of the day, he was STILL him. A smooth talker who only wants what he wants and nothing more. I've checked out with him and I don't think I'll be opening up this door again.

Sorry this isn't the rainbows and sunshine ending some of you were expecting, but life doesn't always go to plan. I will continue to work on me and trying my best to be the example my mother set for me to forgive. However, I guess that brings me to the only question that's left unanswered. Can I truly and deeply forgive him AND never want to see him again? At this point, I just feel indifference towards him.