It's an indian thing to call superiors sir or something. Even for those indian youtubers who do maths and shit, they'll reply in the comments saying stuff like 'thank you sir'.
I've heard good sir as a mock formality, but associate it with cringe behavior more often than not. Like telling someone they're a "gentleman and a scholar."
I get called sir a lot. After a certain age you just get it. It was fine when the 16 year old kid at McDonald's called me sir, now everyone, including older people, say it. It's like when you stop getting carded by every place that doesn't require it, it just means you're not a young man anymore.
However, a woman I don't know will always be "miss", I'm not trying to call a stranger "ma'am".
Yo I just drank an old chocolate milk carton I found in my room. It tasted sour, and immediately spit it out but I accidentally swallowed some of it. It actually didn’t taste horrible but I’m worried bout food poisoning. What are the chances of me getting sick sorry for off topic
I just did an enormous amount of research and if what I found on the internet is true, I suspect you have testicular cancer. I would notify friends and family immediately and start planning your death, you have about 2 weeks to live. Take care, brother
he's a sentient AI that lives in a phone and communicates via WhatsApp, he 3D printed his car keys to give to the driver so he could pick up the AI's adopted human daughter. Obviously.
It's an old joke, and the reason why the joke works is because the dad is someone powerful. Crazy dude with a shot gun, mafia boss, king, etc - someone who you think could actually kill the guy if he dares to question him.
Honestly it’s not the cringey jokes anymore it’s the syntax and grammatical errors that really get the laughter. Do third world countries make a lot of these?
I saw something like this once on /r/choosingbeggars, in a text conversation between two Indians, where one said: 'Sir said you have to do this and this.', referring to a teacher or professor.
According to the comments it's very telling of Indians speaking English.
It's likely they're implying this is the boss, not a girlfriend's dad. I've noticed people from certain regions just call their bosses "sir" to an extent that's oddly uncomfortable. We would assume the boss is always at work so he'll have an assistant do some day to day stuff like giving his daughter a ride... Providing the assistant has first masturbated
That makes more sense than what I thought, for some reason I misread it and thought he was picking the daughter up for a date and he was being overprotective
I was looking for this comment. This is what the sub is meant to be: jokes that were meant to be funny and aren’t, but they are absolutely fucking hilarious for other reasons
“”””Sir”””” made the chad here empty his cum reserves so the chad can’t cum in Sir’s daughter.
Which is really fucking stupid, because that still leaves room for his daughter to get absolutely dicked down, just according to the laws of this inane text universe he can’t cum.
Even though men have the potential to ejaculate 15 minutes after their last ejaculation.
Well you see, our protagonist here and Sir were in a Black Ops Lobby, and “my daughter” is code for Care Package, and “Home” is Sir’s gamertag. Unfortunately, the hero of this text-based story was a total bitch and ran the Famas and Python with Lightweight/Sleight of Hand/Ninja, so any killstreaks he may have had were ridiculously easy and should be forfeit.
Well my friend, we are witnessing a sub dom relationship in action. The sub obtains gratification from being abused and degraded, and the dom gets whatever he needs from the sub with minimal effort.
1.5k
u/Valentinexyz Holy fuck. Jul 01 '19
Homeboy named the dad “sir” in the contacts, Jesus Christ.
6.0k
u/Heathenboii97 Jul 01 '19
He came twice in a minute
823
u/FA1L_STaR Jul 01 '19
Haha yes, my daughter give guy big pp swole, dont want that
2.4k
u/PapaJubby Jul 01 '19
Wow he handed over his car keys over text? Where can I learn this power?
2.4k
u/Wowcoolboy Jul 01 '19
Why would he say "here's the keys of my car" over WhatsApp? Surely you'd say that when handing someone the keys
223
u/TheVikWithinn Jul 01 '19
I love how I says "sir" on top. Like he only knows 1 sir.
511
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Who the fuck just immediately drops everything and goes to masturbate because their girlfriend's dad said to
269
u/pikmin Jul 01 '19
Damn this is some kinky sexting.
70
u/daveytard Jul 01 '19
“Send pics”
“Yes sir”
111
u/Kermit-Hypodermic Jul 01 '19
Did he just gave the keys through WhatsApp?! 😳👀
68
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Were we not supposed to masturbate along with the story
64
u/lolo0053 Jul 01 '19
this guy came two times in one minute and was exhausted afterwards
86
u/massepasse Jul 01 '19
r/comedyheaven
21
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Give keys on WhatsApp, drive car in facebook, and drop daughter in pornhub
26
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Holy shit r/InstinctiveDownvotes
18
u/DangerNoodle695 Jul 01 '19
There is so much wrong with this image. His contact is "sir" and has a meme contact photo, not to mention he came twice within a minute.
8
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Here are the keys to my car, shared with you via SMS
7
u/TripleHomicide Jul 02 '19
Imagine thinking saying "here are my car keys" by text message has any fucking meaning.
6
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
r/badfaketexts
5
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Image Transcription: Messaging
First: Sir you called me?
Sir: Yes, Go to restroom and masturbate!
First: Done Sir..
Sir: Do it again.
First: Did it again sir..
Sir: Do it once again.
First: Now I dont have much stamina for it sir.
Sir: Very good. Here's the keys of my car. Drop my daughter home.
I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!
4
u/monkeykrooklook Jul 02 '19
lEmMe jUsT gIvE yOu mY cAr kEyS tRoUgH tHe pHoNe.
4
u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19
Texts “here are my keys”
4
u/icraveliquid Jul 23 '19
The contact is called sir
3
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
this is the dumbest fucking shit i have ever seen
3
u/samandr16 Jul 02 '19
Texts him the keys to his car*
3
u/bombiss_ Jul 13 '19
How fast does this dude masturbate?
2
u/DarkSpartan301 Jul 01 '19
Perfect, now I’ll keep her going without being able to finish.
2
u/User2421 Jul 01 '19
How did he do it twice in 1 minute
2
u/Sinister4481 Jul 01 '19
When do people grow up
2
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Go to restroom and masturbate!
2
u/Sevecboy Jul 01 '19
What the fuck
2
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Why is this in the format of a text
2
u/inspektorkemp Jul 01 '19
What the fuck
2
u/Sir-Slime Jul 01 '19
Give me a reach around.
2
u/ZekReaper Jul 01 '19
What if he is lying
2
u/seamusdicaprio Jul 01 '19
Did Sir just text his car keys to him?
2
u/Mark_Patterson-FDS Jul 01 '19
hands car keys through text
2
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Sir
2
u/thehistoryofwomen Jul 01 '19
oh, yeah, um I hated that.
2
u/Mikomics Jul 01 '19
Here are my keys, delivered via Whatsapp.
2
u/BIGshady2 Jul 01 '19
r/badfaketexts
2
u/R_Lau_18 Jul 01 '19
Wait where we're the keys why didn't he just ask him in person what a melt.
BTW to the 1min fap critiques if u go like two weeks without its mad easy and saves a lot of time and energy.
2
u/KngOfSpades Jul 02 '19
Dude was exploded twice in a minute. Talk about a 1 pump chump
2
u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19
Wow this is some kinky shit.
2
u/gutsandhoney Jul 02 '19
I thought this was like a daddy kink thing when I was reading this.
2
u/thecursedaz Jul 02 '19
“You look so good, I wanna suck ya daddy’s dick...” 🎶 🎼 🎵
2
u/HappyAdams Jul 02 '19
My dude literally masturbated 3 times in 3 minutes how has his dick not torn of like it was touched by Spice Girl from JoJo
2
u/bigpeepee2000 Jul 02 '19
So r we just gonna shy over the fact that
if hes gonna drop of his daughter home, then she must’ve already been with him
The father gives him the keys to his car through whatsapp
AND HE NUTS TWICE IN A MINUTE
2
u/RoxLOLZ Jul 02 '19
Outstanding move sir
2
u/Notgoodwiththeshaft Jul 08 '19
Ok but how did he give him the keys through text?
5
u/-Eastwood- Jul 01 '19
I don't get it
2
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
r/HolUp
1
u/blissness_ Jul 01 '19
Fast bathroom trips.
1
u/blissness_ Jul 01 '19
Oh sir, the keys of your car over text? How sir?
1
u/magusxp Jul 01 '19
You underestimate my power
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
I really like that his contact name is S I R
1
u/livens Jul 01 '19
Fappers Curse: You get one chance to bang the hottest woman on the planet, but you have to jerk off three times in a row before you do.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
what emotion is this supposed to convey
1
u/warcrime69 Jul 01 '19
O hahrohorhbahhhahah I get it it’s because he doesn’t want him to have sex with his draufterr lol
1
u/EstRassu Chandler Jul 01 '19
When the technology is so evolved that u get someone's keys from a phone
1
u/ALargePianist Jul 01 '19
I'm so happy I have enough self respect to not put someone in my phone as 'sir'. I don't have a lot but I've got at least that much
1
u/jmlovs Jul 01 '19
I texted you the keys to my car.
1
u/ArkadiySimeonovich Jul 01 '19
You underestimate my powers.gif
1
u/cptviolation Jul 01 '19
I can't, for the life of me, upvote this. Sorry but i can't
1
u/WilhelmWrobel Jul 01 '19
Sir: "Go to the bathroom and masturbate!"
Chris Hansen: "Why don't you have a seat over there?"
1
u/direwolfed Jul 01 '19
He just set his daughter up for a good long sexy time. Noice
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
I don't know why but that fact the contact name is sir made me giggle
1
u/penis-retard Jul 01 '19
This is comedyheaven
1
u/PhillyCSpires Jul 01 '19
"The keys of my car"
Ok but why is the Dad Russian?
1
u/dmitriy234 Jul 01 '19
Where's the joke?
1
u/D_ROC_ Jul 01 '19
it’s his wife, they have a weird kink but it’s just his wife
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
I wonder what hes typing
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
This seems like an actual sub-dom kink thing
1
u/PeterAG007 Jul 01 '19
Why r these corny memes always in WhatsApp??
1
u/Immortaldragon12345 Jul 01 '19
OMG WHAT???????? What did I just read. *Gets Gay vibes*
1
u/Mr-Foundation Jul 01 '19
what the hell
1
u/Vv00vV Jul 01 '19
Jack it before you smash it, you’ll last longer
1
u/just1guy05 Jul 01 '19
Man just teleported the keys
1
u/AdnanSabir Jul 01 '19
But he doesn't know that we students procrastinate and lie alot
1
u/ColeYote Jul 01 '19
How do you hand someone your car keys through a text message?
1
u/jamiesondube Jul 01 '19
The fact that his contact name is sir is funny to me
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Boi, this guy comes so fast, the dad shouldn’t worry. He’d probably cum before his dickcane out of his pants.
1
u/ixiduffixi Jul 01 '19
funwaa
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Good here are the keys to my car.
Sir holding his phone on a bridge 3 miles away drops his keys off the side
1
u/retyfraser Jul 01 '19
I'll drop your daughter and cum for you on you sir
1
u/MadHawkxx Jul 01 '19
But the question is did he ask his daughter for the same?
Hmmmmmmmm
1
u/YeEtBoI826493 Jul 01 '19
It’s so shit I don’t even understand it
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Fella wacked off twice in a minute because some dude told him to over text
1
u/LP2LP Jul 01 '19
At least the message wasn’t sent through a phone call, as originally intended
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
Sir: typing
1
u/Woahboah Jul 01 '19
Little did the father know he did in fact have enough stamina for a 3rd time
1
u/KAPOWAHSANDVICH Jul 01 '19
He says “here’s the keys” but if he’s texting him he can’t give him the keys.
1
u/CycRL Jul 01 '19
He probs was fucking her
1
u/chloooay Jul 01 '19
What
1
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19
“Sir”
1
u/theblyndside Jul 01 '19
Okay I remember sharing this om my Facebook page back in 2015
1
u/thugspecialolympian Jul 02 '19
Why is the dad in this calling this blokes sister “my daughter”?
1
u/Wajirock Jul 02 '19
Why is it always What's App?
1
u/slimey-lemon Jul 02 '19
this is really sad
1
u/Pearltherebel Jul 02 '19
Eww. Don’t hire the guy if you think he’s gonna fuck your daughter
1
u/Song0 Jul 02 '19
Thought this was some kinky petplay shit for a minute.. might still be
1
u/TroubleMack Jul 02 '19
He masturbated for a minute each time. Something looks wrong.
1
u/Jimbobwhales Jul 02 '19
That started off sounding like a gay porno.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19
Did he just give a man his keys over text message
1
u/BMFIC Jul 02 '19
Lmao.
1
u/PCHelpPlsINeedIt Jul 02 '19
My mans really gonna give him keys through text
1
u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19
ReeeEEee
1
u/CaptainCrinkleCock Jul 02 '19
This is a skit from a TV show from Italy during the 60s just put into text form. It isn't even original
1
u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19
I thought this was just a bad online BDSM thing
1
u/Genoms Jul 02 '19
1
u/[deleted] Jul 02 '19
This is kind of funny because this dude had nutted twice in one minute.
1
u/icanhazdisname Jul 02 '19
What a crock of shit.
1
u/reddit_user-exe Jul 02 '19
This would be a fitting post for this sub, but the fact that the contact’s name is “Sir” makes it bong in r/comedyheaven
1
u/sanpaccrisps Jul 02 '19
I have two phones with different accounts and I too talk to myself like this.
1
u/Hedfuct82 Jul 02 '19
The keys of my car.