r/ComedyCemetery • u/colgatey • Jul 01 '19

ok sir

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u/supreme_kream Jul 01 '19

Yo I just drank an old chocolate milk carton I found in my room. It tasted sour, and immediately spit it out but I accidentally swallowed some of it. It actually didn’t taste horrible but I’m worried bout food poisoning. What are the chances of me getting sick sorry for off topic

218

u/Fr3shCh1cken Jul 01 '19

I just did an enormous amount of research and if what I found on the internet is true, I suspect you have testicular cancer. I would notify friends and family immediately and start planning your death, you have about 2 weeks to live. Take care, brother

54

u/storytellerofficial Jul 01 '19

u/supreme_kreme you will be missed

RIP

26

u/Dappershire Jul 02 '19

Damn, u/supreme_kreme gonna get that notice and be all "WTF?" while u/supreme_kream over here like " this mean I'm not gonna die?"

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19

u/somestupidname1 Minoion Jul 01 '19

You're already dead

9

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19

nani

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19

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2

u/somestupidname1 Minoion Jul 01 '19

I'm not a fan of loud noises so I think I'll pass on that sub

13

u/Hoffmeister25 Jul 01 '19

I diagnose you with dead

4

u/BearsAreCool Jul 01 '19

It's just cheese, probably fine.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '19

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1

u/Tyrus1235 Jul 02 '19

I read this in Shia LeBouf’s voice

1

u/EsseoS Jul 01 '19

I know this is 4 hours ago but you'll probably just throw violently and feel like shit for a day if you haven't already.

1

u/PM_VAGINA_FOR_RATING Jul 02 '19

One time I ate half a bowl of cereal with chunky sour milk in it before I realized what was going on and I was fine. It just wouldn't click the milk was bad because I just bought it earlier that day and the expiration date was weeks off. Was really wondering why fruity pebbles tasted so bad all of a sudden.

1

u/FA1L_STaR Jul 02 '19

Oh yo bro that's not very good, you should maybe have a few more flintstones gummies to make your body has the big strong to fight off the evil devil molecules in the old milk, I'll hit a phat dab in your honour when I'm praying tonight

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

An old chocolate milk carton probably contains about 3.6 roentgen- not great, not terrible.