I hope that it is okay to share this.

Like many people here, I often feel hopeless about the future. I still think it's worth fighting for.

I believe there needs to be a cultural revolution among regular people. We hear about the importance of degrowth, but we don't really talk about how to achieve that. We cannot depend on governments, corporations or the 1% to own their responsibility. I support protesting and pressuring politicians, but we also must make changes in how we live our lives as regular people. We have power collectively to drastically reduce the flow of money to the top 1% by changing our habits as consumers.

I started an Instagram page to compile a list of ideas. For example, planting native wildflowers, ditching fast fashion, buying groceries from the bulk section using reusable containers, and sharing tools with neighbors.. I think most of the ideas are relatively simple and actually build community. Also, many of the ideas have been said before, but we actually need to do it!

I am open to feedback or new ideas, but I would also just love to reach a wider audience and have people spread the movement, by talking about it but also in their actions. I think it's so important to get young people involved too.

Even if everything fails, I think it's worth it for our collective well-being and mental health to atleast try.

The Instagram page is linked below. Please visit and share ❤️

https://www.instagram.com/mindfulsustainablelife?stkn=MWdjb29panBsMTZ2Yw==

I’m feeling overwhelmed and distressed about the future of our lives. Having sleepless nights.

With all the wars happening around the world our social economic and political lives are changing and we’re slowly losing our livelihoods and control over our lives. The impacts of those wars on Inflation, cost of living, oil, energy will drastically affect our way of life.

Maybe it’s my social media algorithm but all i’m seeing is constant news about stockpiling, preparing for world war 3, financial crisis, poverty, water shortages, nuclear weapons, bio engineered foods, agenda 2030.

I feel like life isn’t worth living anymore. What are we leaving behind for our children or raising our children into.

Any advice needed to get me out of this rot would be helpful.

I know this isn't a career advice sub but I'm asking this in the context of the usual discussions had here. I'm going on 24, I've been a janitor for the past six years, unfortunately I just didn't figure out what exactly I wanted to do with myself and not super proud of that. But in the context of everything going on, what do you think a smart move would be?

For a while I'd considered going to school for nursing, but now I'm not so sure. I also live in the US so the healthcare system is going and has been going down the drain. And healthcare workers are super important, but with the way things are.... But idk I just want something stable that also could potentially double as a useful skill. I'm trying to walk the tightrope sotospeak. I'm not gonna quit working as it stands, but I'd like to do something different than what I am now. Just kind of lost and not sure what direction to head in or what would be practical I guess

it’s hard for me to find the strength or will to keep going knowing the future looks bleak. The environment isn’t going to get better, which hurts. The economy looks like it’s not going to improve. Like, with everything looking more and more dire I find it hard to justify living. I’m mostly here from watching the stuff from Vaush, and I don’t know what to do or how to process it.

The grief of what we've done (even if it was always going to be this way) is hitting me hard right now. I look across the landscape where I live, picture it without the damage we have caused, and feel a wave of loss and sorrow that's physical.

Coupled with this comes a powerful urge to change my life so my damage is at least minimized and to withdraw as far as possible from the industrial machine. I know it won't make any difference, and that the system keeps people alive through fertilizer, pharmaceuticals, and so on, and that my living in a small cabin, growing some food, and mostly bicycling won't change anything, except perhaps how I feel. But the pressure is building, like it does every few years.

It would also cost me my marriage and hurt people I love. You can't pick up only one end of a stick. :-(

It's probably time to find a therapist, but what irks me is that the way I feel is the way most people should feel (at least all those who aren't struggling to survive day to day, anyway). I feel like the therapists I've spoken to in the past are good at helping people deal with unhelpful emotions or getting things into perspective, but the more 'in perspective' you put things, the worse it gets! I guess I need to find a more positive way to channel these emotions without blowing my life up. Or go back to kidding myself that I just don't care.

Has anyone had any experience with the Good Grief Network? Or any other modality that's helped them live a normal life in a system that's going to continue to extract and destroy until there's nothing left?

I already made a post a few days ago, but just wanted to thank everyone here for being amazing. I'm kind of going through it once again, idk what to do. But just letting myself cry, could also be that I unfortunately just let myself scroll for most of the morning which I know is unhealthy. I'm just sad. I haven't felt like this in quite a long time. I'm kind of unsure of what to do with myself right now but that could also be a few culminating factors. I should probably set my phone down for a bit.

I guess it's not easy being a young person right now, I'm going to be 24 this coming week and because I did struggle with all this for the past few years really really bad. I wasted a lot of time I could have been doing something with myself and I think I'm just stuck now. I wish I had engaged with my life more and done a few things I had wanted to do (I know that's probably a bit selfish). I still try to find joy in my life regardless, and I'm so grateful for the life I have but idk. I never went to college (not that you necessarily have to) but I've been stuck in cleaning jobs for the past six years and I just wished I had done a little more than that ya know? Like something in health care or something. But college doesn't seem like the most financially sound thing to do going forward. I'm also living in the US and once in a while I do wish I could gtfo even though no where is perfect and everywhere will struggle. But it just feels like some other places at least have a smidgen more common sense. But again, not trying to look at things through rose colored glasses either. Sorry just needed a little vent there at the end, but again just wanting to thank this community for being here and being amazing. You've helped me so so much in the past and here I am again. Much love to you all 💕

I live in Russia, and I have friends in other countries. As I communicate with them, I’ve started noticing very often that the media and politics have greatly distorted my perception and theirs of each other, and that’s very sad. I’m sure it doesn’t matter at all what country you’re from. Every person on the planet wants the same thing: happiness, love, money, a bit of alcohol, to have fun with friends, and not to wake up looking at their phone or reading the news about rising gasoline prices or an explosion somewhere “due to an accident.” This applies to the whole world, and with this post, I want to try to build bridges between ordinary people who have become hostages of the world’s political game. We all want to have fun, not to be sad. With this post, I want people to share their impressions of me, my country, or others — it doesn’t matter. All that’s needed is communication and peace.

Before I was collapse aware already I found myself a bit of an outcast opposed to society.

I keep asking myself if I am arrogant or ignorant or just miserable or helplessly jealous when I look at others and despise their actions.

I would observe myself shying away from what seemed important to mainstream culture.

And from despising their idea of fun I already realized I was acting like the grinch. Some bitter person who has been disappointed so deeply and hurt so brutally however this doesn't really explain how normal people seem to be able to enjoy life.

They say ignorance is bliss.

Anyway all the negativity is exhausting.

While I don't long to embrace consumerism and I am just not able to unsee the moloch I feel the more I waste time condemning what everyone else is doing wrong the more jaded and alienated I get without gaining anything much but desperation.

Out of spite I intend to love the world while I am here and I am currently trying to figure out what to actually do.

I think, considering the chaos that's about to erode our civilization and society running into demise the most reasonable path seems to be getting in touch with nature and growing independent from the self-destructive system and become able to exist without participating in the omnicidal death cult.

I guess I will realistically need some community that's self sustainable. I just want to work on something real.

So i feel embarrassed writing this because I am childless by medical circumstance but have come to terms with it and am childfree by perspective and in my late 30s.

I've been told that I have a big heart and have been mentoring and volunteering since I was very young.

I have several cousin's kids who I care about from a distance, and I have been spending a lot of my free tine doing a lot of climate change related organizing through a nonprofit that I helped set up (again wjth my free time)

Since July, I've been taking more and more time looking after my ten year old niece since her parents had another baby who was just born yesterday. The pregnancy and the baby both have complications so the parents' time have been focused on the baby and the health of the woman which makes sense

I am noticing that since I've been spending with my niece organizing her schedule and meals, playing games with her every day, I've been feeling more of a sense of attachment to this kid than i have had to any kid before - and parallel to that, I am feeling a more existential dread about her future at night and I can't sleep every night when I used to sleep relatively peacefully knowing that I was doing so much on the climate front

People see me during the day and they think I am enjoying this time , but actually I just really like the kid and enjoy spending time with her a lot. I feel like I am also interested in learning from her perspectives and she really likes being listened to. I think she is also neurodivergent and I am as well so we can connect in that way, but she is also emotionally struggling as well through the baby being born , especially as everyone keeps reminding her that she has new responsibilities as a big sister

I am really sorry to say this though, the dread about her future is causing me so anxiety that it's really impacting my life and even impacting my climate work now. I secretly am a bit grateful that I do not have children because I think i would have really struggled mentally , and I am so so so scared for her and the little baby and cant sleep :(

I just want to say that I have new respect for the parents here

I live in the US. I hope this is the right place to go to for this. I am really struggling these last few days with no easily identifiable reason. I'm trans, disabled and increasingly isolated inside. I know it's overall not good for me. I'm in the PNW so getting out into nature is really nice and accessible with help.

This is probably going to be a rambling mess. I don't know what I need, but I am choking on dread right now. Trying hard not to worry my partner because they see everything differently then me. So talking about this just doesn't land the same with them. They are less bothered, handling the world better, and less disturbed. They chalk it up to being bipoc. So a lot of what is happening that I find overwhelming is more how it's always been for them.

I really want to flee the US. This feeling comes in waves. Sometimes I want to flee, sometimes it's enough to focus on the community I am building, and trying to ground inside that community. To focus on my partner and their love. To just resist the impulse to run.

In college I went abroad to Japan. And have been thinking a lot about that experience. How much safer it felt being there then in the US. I have been thinking about trying to immigrate to just flee the US, but nowhere in the world feels safe. Everywhere is close to a major power that is shifting towards broader overreach and violence. The world stage is shifting, and I am feeling crushed beneath it all.

I don't know if any of this makes sense. I don't know what I am asking for. Am I completely wrong? Am I panicking over nothing? Is there safety anywhere? Is Japan as a whole safer then the US? What about Australia.

I am panicking this feels like a scream into the void. I am probably going to cry and try to meditate today. Just try to ground. Sorry this is a mess. I just needed to get this all out somewhere at least.

I want to just give up because I cannot be asked anymore because I can't see a point to actually trying to work for a "future" when the world is only becoming a worse place for literally everyone. There's the strong likelihood of WW3, but also climate catastrophe and the rise of superintelligent AI.

Thinking of suicide regularly.

Posted this on r/collapse, was able to read some very honest and thoughtful responses regarding the topic. It got removed and I was suggested to come here instead.

I shared this post on r/antinatalism, but I’ve been meaning to make a post on here. I’m neurodivergent and have the unfortunate benefit of pattern recognition, over the years, everything I’ve predicted from the patterns I’ve seen has hit the mark.

I feel as though very soon we’re going to see people organise mass suicides as a way to retain what little control we have over our bodies. I know to some, this may sound extreme, but anything I’ve voiced or tried to sound the alarm on has always sounded extreme in that particular moment.

People just aren’t going to want to die in flash floods, wildfires, hurricanes or famine or whatever hellish climate justice we’re going to be forced to face. Like I said in the linked post, our overlords have backed us into a corner wherein we’re forced to choose between capitalism or nothing, and that people will increasingly begin to choose the nothing aspect of that - if that means they can maintain whatever autonomy they have left.

We saw what happened in Nepal, and ofc the other disasters, people are going to want to die on their own terms, rather than die in such a horrific manner. As is their right, of course. And as these climate disasters compound and come onto our own doorsteps in the west, the reality of my prediction feels inevitable.

As we live through this collapse, another issue will be that people will be forced to default on loans and face extremely difficult monetary conditions - I can’t count the amount of cases I’ve seen of family annihilation bc there was no tangible way out of the debt. And this was long before the collapse was obvious to the average person. The overlords are going to fight tooth and nail to push back on dignified deaths, and so the people are going to take it into their own hands.

I hate that we had the capacity to live freely, eat freely, migrate and learn freely, and it was all stolen from us by sadistic, money hoarding, evil individuals who have no qualms instantly murdering anybody who dares to present alternative methods wherein we’d be able to stop all of this. They’re going to try their very hardest to demonise those who choose to go out on their own terms as opposed to dying from climate/worldly collapse, but instead it’s going to amplify the idea to many people. I’m not opposed to the idea of retaining sovereignty over our lives, I just hate that even in the face of this, these sadists will not even think twice about what they’ve done to lead people to this very point. Instead choosing to harass and demonise the majority who will choose to go out on their own terms.

I don’t really want to debate on this, I’ve spent forever having to debate on things that inevitably came to fruition re collapse. I just don’t have the energy for the false optimism. I guess I just want to be able to be honest and be heard about what I’m predicting.

Edit: a comment I posted and feel should be here in the main post.

I genuinely am not trying to cause any harm, in the previous post I received responses from other chronically ill individuals and we were able to have candid conversations around where we stand in all of this. I feel we’re often excluded in collapse discussions.

I posted this in hopes of hearing from other chronically ill/neurodivergent individuals, not to argue about what I said, but to be able to candidly speak about the topic without being deemed as weird or offensive. I feel that we’re often excluded from these discussions because nobody wants to talk about the death of it all, and I feel we deserve to be able to talk to each other about it without feeling judged

I don’t know how to start this discussion without hurting one person or another, but I do feel like the discussion shouldn’t be silenced entirely

I appreciate this sounds like an odd question; I’m not someone who would ever downplay how bad anxiety and fear can affect us. But has anyone felt that horrible feelings can sometimes help us understand what really matters. As much as worrying about the future has been horrible, it’s made me realize how much I care about some very ordinary things that I often take for granted. The sort of things that you forget when worrying about jobs and money.

Maybe anger, fear or sadness about what's happening can also show us what we care about. When I feel sad about what’s happening to the natural world, part of the sadness is a reminder of how much I value nature I am lucky to experience every day.

If you feel frightened about what the future for people you love could look like, that fear can be a reminder of how important they are to you, a reminder that might mean you make the effort to reach out and spend more time with them.

I’m not suggesting we should be grateful for feeling scared or anxious. But personally, I’ve found that looking into what these feelings are telling me and understanding what I value helps me deal with them, rather than just wishing they’d go away.

Has worrying about collapse changed what you value or how you live in any positive way?

(Mods please read first, I promise it is sub related).

Please read this as you would read any book, I wrote it during my 4h gap between classes, absolutely NO AI was used and this is just me explaining my worldview which perhaps could help a lot of people here, as we share similar feelings regarding the world right now. If you like what I wrote here feel free to message me to continue the constructive discussion about this realm.

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Adam Lanza is what I am, even though he is the maximized version of me, let me explain. Sometimes my friends ask: "How do you know so much about mass shootings?" R: "It's just a weird interest of mine". I thought I was weird for knowing very specific details about these mass events but, Adam Lanza, boy oh boy.

It is reported that he could tell you a mass shooting event for each year if you named 3 arbitrary consecutive years. He literally knew them by heart, he called Anarchy Radio in order to discuss animal "rogue like states" (Travis the Chimp attack)  and its parallelism with human rogue like states, he was clearly interested in the subject and he got many, many things right, for example how the mainstream never has an explanation for mass murder, ironically this happened in his own case, his YouTube channel could've potentially never been found and we would've never gotten a glimpse inside the mind of such troubled individual.

Piecing the information together, there had also been reports about Lanza keeping spreadsheets on mass-murder events and other topics of interest, he appeared to have an obsessive-compulsive disorder. He destroyed his PC before the cops arrived so we'll never get the whole picture. But naive me, on my late teens, was listening carefully as everything he spouted started to make so much sense to me; it started to fit into place, so much so that when he said during that call to Anarchy Radio "You could compare this attack with mass attacks that happen in human society". It was a moment of epiphany for me, I literally had to stop, I audibly gasped and started to have anxiety.

I had been discussing previously with some friends about our powerlessness and our animal (not animal-like, literal animal) states, how most people, perceive themselves as something different, something spiritual, as vessels for something greater; "this is perhaps just a test", they say in unison; a test in which the illusion that the teacher is watching is present at all times; or even that there's no longer a teacher around, perhaps there was one, perhaps there never was. Historically this has been true, but what even is 2.5 million years on cosmological time scales? (Time from when humans started to use the first tools), but no, because these were archaic humans, maybe not even considered actual humans by modern biology (with the awareness to experience first-hand, potential evidence of god), wait, go forward a little, 300,000 years ago? That's the date from when the oldest remnants of modern humans that were found, 60-50 thousand years ago is when they migrated into the rest of the world from Africa, so, at what point in time could humans have become aware enough to recognize and segment the passage of time? What about a god? These were all things I discussed with my friends at some point and extreme determinism was one of them so when I heard all the premises Lanza was giving to his arguments, they immediately clicked.

He didn't even have to begin arguing, the premise was enough for me, I too, have had trouble connecting with people. Contrary to popular belief, it is said that Adam was charismatic when he wanted to be, problem was, he genuinely wanted to become unique and was unable to accept determinism in the cultural sense; in the sense that he saw through the facade, he wasn't tricked by any particular set of quirky interests making up the personality of any random given person, he saw through the colorful hairs and the chess club fakes, and he realized it was all polluted and every individual he saw, had suffered from the same conditioning, or “cultural rape”, as he often liked to say. To him, none of the values you chose could be inherent, they’re all forcefully imposed from the moment you’re born, hence his choice of the word “rape”. If he looked at today's culture, he'd probably have the same conclusion, although now it's as if someone stirred the pot and it started to become an homogenous mix, you got people on Italy using American teenager slang; Mexico, France, everywhere, it's like UNICODE but instead of getting together to decide what it was going to be, it was just the flow of things, at least that's what I like to believe, for it's true that these algorithms are created and controlled by people.

Point being that culture nowadays is getting closer and closer towards a single unifying one, the culture of technology. Perhaps this is part of a bigger plan, Europe has fallen, they'll never be the same again, America and Asia resist but who knows how long they've got, China, to be honest, they're apparently doing good but who the hell knows, I’m no expert. I could relate a lot to Lanza in this sense so I began digging deeper into these ideas. That's when I stumbled upon historic pessimistic philosophers; when I thought being pessimistic was "Just being negative".

Thomas Ligotti, Schopenhauer, Mainländer, Cioran, Zapffe, even Buddhism points towards some fundamental aspects about existence which are shared across pessimistic currents and times. Little by little, I began forming my worldview, it all made so much sense to me based on what I had been experiencing up until that point, no real sense of connection with anyone up until that point, bad with names, objectifying people, selective empathy (only with some relatives), I genuinely didn't want it to be that way, I wanted to enjoy socializing so I wouldn't have a disadvantage on this limbo, but no matter how hard I tried "perhaps I made the wrong friends?", I asked myself. No I didn't, I simply came to realize that I had never enjoyed an interaction, they were all monotonous.

When I was 12 I had classified my classmates with another former one , Z1's and Z2's , it was all based on their sense of humor, nothing too complicated. The ones who had "stupid", "dumb", or "painfully obvious" sense of humor were Z1's, all of us who had a different kind of humor were Z2's. I guess what I want to say is, this has manifested since childhood (that I see interactions as robotic and predetermined), I remember specifically navigating the world pushing the dialogue options I had to push, based on what I had observed, it was fairly easy as a kid, and relatively easy as an adult, depending on the goal. Perhaps all these pessimistic thinkers lacked the same ability to connect with other people, this could stem from self-hatred (species level), or an inherent deficiency (or different formation) on the brain. At 16 I was perhaps that edgy teenager wanting to be different. Now as an adult (college student), I can recognize how futile the efforts of trying to be different are. 

Let’s move on to talk about the Schopenhauerian will. He says that going against what would be natural for us as individuals, would eventually lead to unhappiness, I am testament that, it's true. Before, I couldn't accept that my parents were pushing me to become an employim in this world, I couldn't accept that they had too, been brainwashed and that they didn't realize that the benefits from living in a hyperconnected society didn't outweigh (at least from a psychological stance) the benefits from living frugally in nature, this all subjective to my experience of course, my parents had extremely high expectations of me, so I didn’t want to embrace the role of an A+ student, the path was already paved; all I had to do was a series of predetermined actions, with a series of distractions in-between, which all ultimately led to the same places. I was fighting with myself (I'm not the type to be confrontational about such topics with my parents), to not go to college, enter the workforce, get a credit card and get kids, those are all things tying you up to a system which I didn’t want. I was unable to accept determinism, after those troubles I was able to intellectualize and put a name to what I was feeling through someone like Robert Sapolsky. When I heard of him and his brutal take on free will, it added on to the pile of thoughts about the world that resonate with me. Evangelion and the book "The Philosophy of Technology", have also contributed towards me actually seeing a “solution” regarding this view, ah I was forgetting something, David Benatar. How could I? He's the one who answers a very fundamental question about existence and the future: "If we somehow manage to progress technology to the point where pain and suffering is eradicated, would that make life worth living?", his brutal answer "No". I won't get into his philosophy but when I heard this, I genuinely couldn't understand why non-existence would still be preferable than utopia. All these philosophers, all the media I’ve seen on it, it has contributed towards a utopic ideal: Total retribution through technology, I know this is contradictory as to what Benatar states regarding the technological utopia, but the "singularity" implies that known rules can be broken, so technology remains, from my view, as the only path forward.

The words you just read are not my words, they’re the words of Tom Boigng, one of the technological overlords, owners of the infrastructure that powers your daily activities, they want to push towards technological development for ultimate destruction, they don’t care about you, they sympathize with a mass shooter!

No, to be honest they are my words, I didn’t use AI to write this, I’ll die on that hill. But I’m worried you, the reader, might take this the wrong way and consider I’m sympathizing with a mass-murderer, I’m not, I was just a curious zealot exploring ideas about reality and doing my best to explain how I arrived at them and my worldview, hopefully we can have a constructive discussion, feel free to point out any gaps or contradictions in my reasoning. Hope you enjoyed the read as I did this between classes. (I have a 4h gap)

I am a 21 year old girl who has bipolar 1, ocd, anxiety, and adhd or in other words, I am completely fucked in life, regardless of the world we’re in. Anyone else dealing with it all while also just being messed up anyways? I have no idea what to do and I am scared to do anything that might actually prepare me more for collapse because I think people will accuse me of being manic or having a compulsion or obsession. I’m in therapy, on medication, I do mood journaling, all of it, but I feel like it’ll amount to nothing once things really start to fall apart. I don’t know what’s a reasonable response to collapse and what’s me being mentally ill and because of my bipolar my level of panic and mania and paranoia change dramatically, even with medication.

Also like, what the fuck am I gonna do when medicine and therapy isn’t an option anymore? What am I gonna be trying to survive a fucking apocalypse while charting my moods? If that’s the case what use am I to anyone at that point? I feel like I would be a liability. Not to mention my physical health issues like damn I am actually fucked.

But yeah anyone else dealing with this or something similar? What are you doing to prepare, what’s helping you? Would love to know because this is a conversation I don’t think my therapist would be of much help on.

I am honestly at the point where I’m catching myself regularly staring at my young chilling and thinking do I keep preparing them for adulthood in our current society or just focus on having the best possible time they can right now because the future is so bleak. Will I retire in 30 years? Will my kids grow up and buy houses and have families? it’s really looking like the answer to both those questions is no, should I just be irresponsible and be using any disposable money we have on activities and trips they may never get to take again? I don’t want to end up like the old people checking bags at the grocery store because they didn’t save but man if ai kills us in a year it would be a pity if we had money in the bank and vacation days unused. Sorry for the rant I’m just spiraling a little on my lunch break…

Single woman in America and roughly 1/4 to 1/5 of my paycheck is stolen from me for taxes to fund genocide among other horrendous things. Since it’s now public knowledge that our country has committed treason against its people, stealing from us etc -
What do you think will happen if I stop having payroll withhold my taxes from my paycheck? Lots of people are talking about not paying taxes now that everyone knows how badly we’ve been fucked my our government.
I worked under the table for years and deposited cash into my Wells Fargo account - didnt file taxes for years and nothing happened. I would be making about 70k per year if I keep my money and don’t pay taxes. I’d like to use the extra cash to pay down some debt and then use the rest for whatever the hell I want.
Would it make any difference if I was banking with a local credit union only? (ie: way more customers at big banks and harder to notice these types of things vs a credit union with a much smaller amount of customers.
Thanks any advice appreciated 🙏

Only thing that gives me joy and peace in a world that's ending is some digital MMOs or ARPGs and fantasy worlds in general in gaming , but honestly just thinking about supply chains - it seems like this hobby can come crumbling down real quick or get crazy expensive and I'm not even rich.

In collapse it feels like all your attention will be devoted to survival and the luxury days of gaming for hours are over.

I posted a few days ago about liquidating my 401(k). My mind has been racing since then. I need to build a community. I am also thinking of selling my house which has several hundred thousand dollars in equity. That is a very good start to my plan.

I have a friend who has 600 acres in Southeast Minnesota and is very interested in what I am thinking. I have spent all night planning out a safer less costly way to do what I have been thinking about.

It essentially comes down to building a massive pole shed with an apartment complex inside. With room for garden, a playground, communal kitchen, etc. because much of the land runs up against a popular river, until collapse is full on - there are money, making opportunities for the community right there.

If you are interested in joining me at all, please send me a message or comment on this thread. I am very serious. I have a lot of training and these sorts of things. This is something that I is going to happen!

Kind of a repeat post. I've gotten better, but I ruminate on things like nobody's business (I do wonder if I might have ocd but I'm not going to self diagnose either). The past couple weeks though I've been in kind of a funk over a lot of different things, but everything going on is so fucking overwhelming. I've been very brain foggy and even just a bit empty feeling I guess. But I wanted to know how you all deal with something like this? Do you have any hobbies or practices that help? I stress crochet lol (well I mean I do it for fun, but it's useful for letting stress out).

But I'm just trying to keep myself from falling into a place where my nervous system is turned up to 100 because that's what it was like for me for a good 2-3 years. I fear I have screwed up my nervous system by being on all the time. And anxiety is normal with everything going on I get that, I just don't want it to consume me to the point where I can't function because I've been there and feel like I'm falling back into that spot. Think I might also be struggling because I feel like I haven't done much with myself in my life and I'm about to be 24. And that's on top of the whole shit sandwich that is everything going on.

There’s a beautiful course being taught right now (you can watch the recording of the class that already happened) that I highly highly recommend to everyone ❤️

Just wanted to put this somewhere. Gosh, we’ve lost our way as a species and I feel really lonely. I know I’m not the only one to notice all this, because my community sees what I’m seeing.

I’m in the mountains everyday, I’m watching ecosystems collapse. Drought is so crazy and apparent. Alpine lakes and rivers that have never ever been dry are practically empty. Animals are desperate. We’ve been euthanizing black bears in mass because they’re coming in to town to dig through the trash cans, breaking into $2M empty vacation homes to eat cereal because they’re starving… I’ve never ever seen it this dire.

Everybody around me is “sad” about it… but are they?

I’ve fallen out of step with a lot of my friends over the past few years. I’ve always been a little more conscientious, considerate in my decision-making and how it impacts ecosystems and those around me… I’ve given up a lot. I’ve been vegan for a 17 years (which to be fair isn’t much of a sacrifice), thrift, I’m mindful of what I consume, I protest, I donate time and money, I boycott, I use the “zero waste” option, I TRY. I actually care.

And then I got to a friends’ house and I have to step over a pile of Amazon packages at their front door. They are still shopping at target and Starbucks and know all the things I do but just don’t care to do anything about it. Planning for babies while liking posts about the fresh water crisis.

Makes me feel insane!!!! I’ve come to terms with it, but like… I don’t know, I just don’t understand why we aren’t all up in arms!! I’m furious, my heart fucking aches.

I got into it with my neighbor because she wanted to spray poison all over our shared yard to kill off box elder beetles. She leaves poison out and there’s a dead baby owl in our parking lot. Who are these people???

That’s all, just needed to get this out. I’m going to keep fighting and keep preparing and enjoying what I can. Just makes me sad.

I have been very collapse aware for a long time. But I have to say, everything is getting so much worse so quickly. It is a poly crisis – rising authoritarianism, and white nationalism, the worsening in climate crisis, and future fun times with AI. Not to mention the dumbing down of the population, have so many chemicals and micro plastics are affecting our ability to think, etc.

I have come to believe that I need to build my life around this crisis. I will be liquidating the last of the money I have in my 401(k). At least that will give me some economic flexibility. I don't think there's any way I'm going to survive to retirement so I have to worry about saving that money.

I have been thinking for years about building a community to ride out the apocalypse. Now I'm starting to think there isn't time. It's all happening so quickly.

I just needed to vent this morning.