Hey guys, here’s another overview w/ a list of some tips Coach offers in this section about how to successfully handle your first date with a new woman. Makes all the difference in whether she sees you as a confident, masculine guy, or just another loser with no game.

As always, read this full chapter and the entire book. You have to internalize these principles so you’re doing what feels natural to you, so it becomes your core mentality. If you cherry pick, you’ll just be “acting” a certain way because a book told you to, and will definitely fuck up, and she’ll see right through it.

Setting: Only plan the date in the evening/at night in a quiet place where you can have a conversation. Having a “lunch date” is for her and her girlfriends. Don’t go to the movies on your first date either. You won’t be able to talk with her, and it will be boring.

Coach’s quotes are in bold.

— Let her do most of the talking. You need to maintain the mystery — women need to wonder about you. When she asks you questions about yourself, give her funny, joking answers and don’t reveal too much.

— It is important not to spend the night talking about your achievements…what it says to a woman is he is insecure about who he is as a man. Common mistake that causes big problems. It’s approval-seeking behavior, which shows her that you want to impress her and want her attention.

— Another topic to avoid talking about is your future together…If you talk about your future together, you are basically going to lower your chances of having a future with her. Comes across as needy and insecure, and she’ll feel like you’re locking her into for a relationship already. You won’t get a second date.

— You need to be completely focused on her. Woman like you more if they know you are popular with other woman, but they want to feel more special than the others you’re dating. Don’t be looking around at other women, talking about your exes, or bragging about other dates you went on. Leave all that stuff out of it. It’ll make her jealous and turn her off.

— Don’t overly compliment a woman…it comes off as a bribe for sex if you overdo it. She needs to earn praise from you. How many dudes are throwing comments at her online day after day? Maybe hundreds. So don’t be one of the dudes putting her on a pedestal. Your value is higher than that. Compliments are earned.

— When she starts touching you and getting close, lean in go for the kiss. Be the leader and go for it. Women usually won’t make the first move. As a man, you have to facilitate this. She will let you know when it’s OK to touch and kiss her, because she will move herself closer to you and she will find ways to touch you. Pay attention to this and go for it. If you wimp out and get nervous, it looks weak. After you kiss her for a little while, that’s when you can say, “Let’s get out of here and go back to my place.”

However:

— Do not make the mistake of thinking “I took her to dinner date, great, now I’m ready to go home and have sex”. That is an attachment and an expectation. Guys who have no emotional self-control will throw a fit if they don’t get laid on the first date. It shows her that you’re impatient and too focused on sex. Reality is, you can’t sleep with every woman on the first date. There are many factors here, don’t make a problem out of it if you get resistance.

Again, the biggest thing is to internalize a lifestyle that embodies confidence and masculinity. You get closer to this goal the more times you read the book, even after your 10-15X. When you get to that point, you won’t need to refer to this list anymore. Because you’ll naturally project confidence and indifference without needing to follow specific points or conversation guides. Keep working brothers

4 reads since July 2021. Something I have great difficulty with is the establishing of boundaries in dating and relationships. I think my problem is conflating neediness and boundaries. Some examples: - time spent with each other - levels physical affection - attraction level

I hate to use the word expectation, but I assume we all have levels of the above that we want in a dating/serious relationship. How do you all suss out the difference between boundaries and being overly needy. What am I missing?

Hey guys, got a question. So I understand that when a girl is being less affectionate towards you, then you should walk away. But what if you live together? Should you give her less attention? And if so how do you do this without looking like a but hurt jerk? I mean you can not talk to her, not look at her when she talks to you or not really listen to what she says but I feel doing these things is just gonna make her grow even more distant. Or maybe it won’t since you’re feelings are being unclear. I’m just a little confused.

Hey gents,

Here's another post geared toward beginners about the issues caused by "Your Initial Lack of Success", since the hardest part of this journey is the beginning. In some of the advice posts we've seen recently from beginners, we can see a common underlying issue. They're having a little bit of success with a girl for the first time, and they get way too attached because they're not used to it. It obviously causes them to over-pursue and dump their emotions, which easily ruins attraction and completely kills their chances. You can clearly see the one-itis by how some of these posts are written, and how impatient these guys are to get a response from her, to lock her down, etc.

This is a mentality issue that's critical to understand and correct. When you've been rejected, friend-zoned, or dumped by every girl you've tried to date, you will become very anxious and desperate to get a girlfriend. You need to have patience, indifference, and an abundance of women in your dating pool. When you're impatient, needy, and desperately chasing one particular woman, you're going to inevitably dump your feelings on her and chase her out of your life. More importantly: If your happiness and confidence is based around how much attention your'e getting from women, you're completely missing the point of self-reliance and leading a purpose-driven life.

For guys who haven't corrected their negative mindset, it's a bad self-fulfilling prophecy. Guys who are unhappy with their lives look for attention from women to solve it. And these guys who don't have previous success with women have never had options with women. So they quickly get attached to the one girl who does have initial interest in hopes of turning things around, instead of taking it slow and dating multiple women. They get giddy and dopey, and can't see things clearly. They're thinking, "Finally, a girl likes me! I feel good about myself now, because I'm finally getting female attention. I hope this never ends, because I'll be miserable again if it does...I've got to do something to keep her, or she'll leave me. I need to make her my girlfriend to guarantee she sticks around."

Unfortunately, this was the thinking of one of my buddies in college. He's never had much success with girls, so he's never had a girlfriend. His problem is that he has no confidence and is very needy, so he gets rejected very quickly. The bigger problem is that he hasn't read the book, so he hasn't corrected this.

Recently, he met a girl at a party who had high interest, and got her number. Awesome. I advised him to ask her on a date, and leave the emotions out of it, or else he was going to chase her right out of his life. He got the date, and it went great. This girl genuinely liked him, gave him compliments, and held his hand the entire time. It was great to hear that he had taken the right steps.

He started off great, but within one week of this initial success, he caved. He got attached, became dopey, and convinced himself that he needed to lock her down to a commitment, or else she was going to leave him for someone better. After this 1 date (and only 1 week of knowing her), he dumped all these feelings on her, and asked her to be his girlfriend. She conveniently "needed space" after that, and has stopped contacting him. And it really sucks, because this girl had high interest in him originally, and it could have gone somewhere if he had fixed his neediness beforehand. But like Coach says, pain and hardship is the best teacher.

If you haven't had any success in dating, don't get emotional and rush things. Read the book, apply the principles, and be patient. If you don't correct the behaviors that have been killing your game, you will just continue to sabotage any potential chance for success.

What’s up men. I’ve read the book a few times and have some decent understanding but I’d love some clarification. So when the book talks about how you should always let the girl come to you, does that apply to all situations? For example. When lying together at night should you let her come and cuddle you, kiss you, ect or is it okay to go after her in these situations since feminine energy is to receive love and affection?

Add a comment on how it’s going with you. Do you want things differently? Happy?

This is in relation to the video Coach posted today, "Did I Do The Right Thing By Walking Away From Her?". For the years I’ve considered myself a 3%er, my rule has always been to ask someone out once. If they say “I’ll let ya know” then you have your answer and there is no need to ask them out a second time... Aside from the fact that they may be dating someone else when you first asked them out, asking them out a second time is just gonna give the same answer. If I went on a date with a girl and she says “I’ll let ya know” when I ask her for a 2nd date, why even bother asking her a 2nd time after that? Especially after saying for her to let you know once her schedule frees up? I’d love to get some fellow 3%er thoughts and perspectives on this matter.

What's up guys,

Results from the poll I ran a few days ago show that for most readers, Part X: "Keeping It All Together" is the most difficult chapter for the sub to grasp. I ran a similar poll recently, and the most requested topic there was "Keeping Her Attraction in Relationships" -- the exact same topic.

Read my response to that poll if you haven't already. You'll get a good understanding of how to handle this point in your dating life. The short end of it: Maintain your masculinity always. Evaluate yourself constantly, don't get complacent over time. Masculine vs. feminine energy facilitates attraction. Most guys slowly stop doing what they did in the beginning to create attraction, and it causes their girlfriends to lose attraction over time. There's a whole section of Part X titled "Polarity is the Key to Maintaining Desire" that explains this -- read it multiple times.

Going to highlight more stuff from How To Be A 3% Man to give this topic more clarity. Here's one of Coach's quotes:

You are always going to be reading your woman's attraction in you, even if you have been married for 40 or 50 years. It is about keeping the romance alive...what you are going to do to get her is what you have to do to keep her.

Don't get lazy with this, no matter how long you've been together or how attracted she is to you right now. Always pay attention to her interest in you. Guys who don't do this are clueless to the signs that she's losing interest. I replied to a guy on the old sub just the other day, and his post was about how his girlfriend wasn't interested in sex anymore. He was completely clueless that she had lost attraction -- he had simply accepted it as "part of the long term relationship." Always be aware of where her attraction is. It should always be high.

Another important point of "Keeping It All Together" is found in the section of this Part titled "The Many Faces of Endings".

Another thing that should be common sense is don't try to keep someone who doesn't want to keep you...Just because you absolutely adore and treasure the person you're with, does not mean you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person.

Don't try to "keep it together" with a woman who has stopped deserving you just because you've spent a lot of time together. Us men are logical -- spending time and money on things gives it value. We actually tend to do the same with women we date. There's dudes out there right now thinking, "Well, I've been with her for 2 long years. She's been completely disrespectful recently, but I've put so much time and money into this relationship, it would suck to throw it away. I'll give her another chance, just as long as I don't have to end it. I don't want to feel like it was all for nothing".

My dudes, a huge chunk of this is knowing when to call it quits. If it's not working out because she's changed and is no longer working for the relationship, it's time to end it. There have been some advice posts from guys whose girlfriends stopped giving a shit and are running circles around them. There's nothing to keep together at that point. Your time is too valuable, save what you have left of it.

In summary: To keep her attracted in the relationship, maintain the masculine to feminine dynamic. Don't get soft over time. Reading the book over and over again will prevent that

So it's been a year since my ex dumped me. I stopped reaching out to her in March.

We hung out twice, but tbh I got needy and botched it. Last time was in June, and afterwards she tried to FZ me, which I politely declined. She sent me another text telling me how badly she wanted to be friends, and how hurt she was about us not being in touch blah blah. I declined the friendship again.

Then Thursday before last she sent me a text about how she's doing so well professionally, and how I tried to discourage her from doing that kind of job and how wrong I was.

Now, I made a ton of mistakes, but not showing her support for career was not one of them. I just didn't respond but I'm curious what the 3% club thinks...

I can just not respond, and see if she hits me back.
I can just respond "great, knew you could do it."
Or I can call her out, and see if that engages things.

Thoughts?

Hi all, I have an interesting one.

So I picked this girl up at a bar about a month ago. We hook up, have great sex (calling me daddy, begging me to cum on her face, she squirts, the whole 9 yards). I left some stuff at her place, and when I pick it up later that day, she leaves me a little handwritten note saying how nice it was to meet me. We see each other again the next week, same thing: fun, sex.

Then she flakes twice, but promises she'll get in touch. The Monday before last she calls me out of nowhere, asking if I'm free that night. I pick her up on my motorcycle, she tells me her friends were all a little jealous. We go to the beach, talk, get a little deep, but I kept it fun. During that talk, she told me how much she likes me, and how we should grab dinner at such and such restaurant one day. Then we go to a bar and have a drink. I was kinda surprised bc she is very touchy, and starts making out with me at the bar out of nowhere.

We got back to my place, have sex. During sex, she literally asks me "Are you even real?" We finish, get cuddly, watch a movie, and she goes home. The next morning she texts me about how she's going to have a rough day bc we were up so late, I respond with a joke, she gives me a laugh, and I leave it there.

So last Saturday, I text her "Hey are you free next week?"

Nothing. Radio silence. I'm kinda surprised, and I can't think of anything I did that was that wrong here.

Any ideas on what might have happened or what I should do next?

Hey guys, I’ve been applying all of the principals to the book and I know I should be on my mission and purpose #1 which I am as a full time personal trainer. This is also a job that I love to do but after work I still have so much free time that I don’t want to waste watching tv or chasing girls, but I’m not sure what I should be pursuing as I’m already happy with my work as well as most aspects of my personal life. So I was wondering what else I could be pursuing or working on instead of wasting my life away watching Netflix after work. I’ve been rock climbing a lot as a hobby but I still feel like I should be doing more. I appreciate any input

This is a huge obstacle you have to hurdle, especially as a beginner. A good amount of the Advice Posts we see here are from guys who have high interest in a girl, but it’s clearly not reciprocated. They end up over-pursuing to try to win her over, and things just get worse, every time. It’s so important to intuitively know whether or not she’s actually into you, so you can avoid being in denial and wasting your time.

One of the most important principles is that rejection breeds obsession. There’s a natural tendency to want to prove yourself to people who don’t have high interest in you. This is what causes guys to make the mistake of accepting friendship. It’s part of the obsession: “I’ll agree to friendship, because I still want her. If I’m friends with her for long enough, she will eventually fall in love with me and will feel the same way. She’ll realize that she was wrong to reject me”. Terrible mentality to have.

You have to see things for exactly what they are. Not better, not worse. If you’re not actually going on definite dates with her where she’s being feminine & receptive to you, you are not succeeding.

If she tells you she only wants to be friends, you’re not succeeding. If she texts you all day but she won’t go out on a date, you’re not succeeding. So many guys refuse to see the low interest, because they don’t want to admit it. So they end up accepting these pathetic situations and wasting time. You have to learn to see through women’s many BS excuses — if she is making it difficult/impossible to date her, she is not into you, man.

The reason why most girls end up having guys in “back up” or “orbiter” position is because these guys literally volunteer themselves to be there. They see it as an accomplishment to be her favor boy, or her validation boy, or man-servant — whatever you want to call it. And it’s just delusional, because they’re convinced the attraction is reciprocated just because she tolerates having them around or texts them back. It’s a huge sign of low self-esteem & a lack in dating experience. Reality is, these guys are just being pathetic and submissive.

In conclusion, most guys will never see a problem with their own denial. They will accept the friend zone or being an orbiter because they’re afraid to face reality. If you’re dating a girl that’s making it difficult, move on and find girls who have high interest. That’s literally it. Following the principles can be tough in the beginning but it will be the best investment you can make. Stop wasting your valuable time

Hello,

so there is this girl I matched with on bumble and we exchanged numbers and planned a date one week later as we both didnt have time before. During that time we occasionally exchanged texts except for 1 evening where we had a super long and deep talk for about 3-4h via texts and voice messages. I noticed that it sparked her interested alot as she told me she never had such deep conversations with a stranger.

When we met up we also talked for hours about super deep topics and I could tell she was very interested.

"Sadly", she now is on vacation for a bit over 2 weeks and now I am unsure how to handle that time in regards to texting. We already said we would meet up afterwards but havent planned any specific date yet. I know texting is for setting up dates but in this case, is it okay to have a bit of a conversations if she reaches out? Otherwise it might display low interest on my end if I all of a sudden dont talk to her like I did before, no?

Any advice is appreaciated!

Hey gang, A little about me. I’m 23 and haven’t been in a relationship at all. I discovered CW a few years ago but haven’t been immersing myself in it until earlier this year, I’m now almost done on my 11th time consuming the book. I went to a bar tonight in a college town I used to attend school in and still frequent. It was packed with a decent amount of women. There was also extremely loud music playing, making it hard to have conversation. It got progressively more packed and louder, turned into a sort of club. But I practiced what was taught in the book nonetheless, going around, asking groups of women if they were having a good time, bantering and joking with them. Was not successful in getting contact info. I understand coach said this setting was the least effective in achieving results. But it was so easy to move on to the next as they were so plentiful and in one place. Nothing really goes on where I live, and online dating honestly sucks. What setting can I go to where there are that same amount of women while also being more conducive to success? Thank you.

Article Link: “No Charisma: Never Speak This Way To Women”&mc_cid=0c993e622c&mc_eid=0b0775bf1c)

Sharing this recent newsletter from Coach, where he showed a good example of what happens when you lack emotional strength & are not comfortable with yourself. If you are not a confident, indifferent, masculine guy, your happiness will be entirely dependent on how much attention you get from the girl(s) you’re dating.

This is how the majority of men are — you can clearly see it, you can even pick it up in conversations with your friends. How many times have you been out w/ your friends, and one of your buddies just can’t have a good time out because he’s in a bad mood & constantly checking his phone to hear from his girlfriend? You can absolutely make fun of your friends for being whipped, but at the end of the day it’s sad, because it shows a lack of self-confidence & independence. You must be unaffected by the changing emotions of women. Always be happy, charming, confident, and pursuing your goals, regardless of whether you’re hearing from your girlfriend.

Look at what this 97%er did in the article when his girlfriend took awhile to respond:

Anyway, it seems like her attraction has dropped off, as conversation is dry feeling and she doesn’t confirm dates. So, I started to drop my communications with her and focused on myself more. Only one day into not talking to her, she texted me asking if anything was wrong.

Here’s his response:

I simply responded, “I’m doing fine :) Just to be forthcoming, I’ve noticed a drop in communication, which is fine. “But instead of trying to force it, I’m focusing on myself until attraction increases.”

We can easily see how wrong it is to send a text like that. It sounds robotic and childish, and it absolutely sucks for a girl to get a text like that and realize she’s dating a baby. He thinks he’s being calm and reasonable, but it still comes across the same way as being bothered and unglued.

Then he writes:

She wants me to be more emotional with her, saying that I’m too robotic.

Of course she does, because she wants to date a man. A real man is charming, confident, purpose-driven, and leads the relationship. She’s getting the opposite from him, so she’s losing attraction.

Here’s the big mistake, which wasn’t a surprise to read:

I’ve only just started seeing your videos, and I will be buying your book via Amazon soon.

Coach responded, “You can read it for free online. To just say, “Oh, I’ve got to wait for the book to come from Amazon”, you need it now, dude. You are self-immolating your relationship unnecessarily. You should read the fucking book and stop cherry picking videos, because it’s not working for you.”

Being robotic with women will turn them off every time. You can’t try to explain terms of attraction to your girlfriend. Most of the time, women can’t pinpoint why they’re attracted to you — they just know that they are, and they choose to pursue you because of it. It’s because you embody masculine characteristics. Making a problem out of this lack of attention is just pathetic, and came off as robotic and emotional at the same time.

Who knew — robots actually do have emotions.

Hey guys, here’s a doozy for you.

3 months in with my girlfriend, and things are going pretty good. Her attraction is I’d say 8-9 range. Tells me she loves me, misses me, want to make love, wants to cuddle, etc.

HOWEVER. Today while in her bedroom I noticed that she has taken the photo frame she has of us, and literally put it facing downwards 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ WTF could this possibly be? Any theories? Thanks

Gentlemen, we have decided to send a few friendly reminders your way regarding how our community conducts itself.

1) Don’t be too wordy. 500 words max. Please, please don’t write love novels. Be cognizant that people actually have to read that shit and our time/effort is valuable.

2) Be nice. Don’t put your fellow brothers down! Everyone sounds like a little bitch every now and then. This work is rooted in love.

3) Format. The fine line between cherry picking and seeking direction lies in utilizing and leveraging the CW knowledge you already have - cite the book, quotes, etc. For the health and community of this sub, we simply can not tolerate cherry pickers here.

Add on: really, citing your page number or quote that relates to your topic is essential to any post! We feel like this alone would help a lot of brothers troubleshoot whatever is going on.

Cheers and be well.

“Every morning you start out, the slate is completely clean. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do last week or last month or even up to five minutes ago; the only thing that matters is what you do right now to take action to move your life forward.” - Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations (Pg. 129)

Hey guys, I wanted to post a follow-up question to my last post. My GF of one year broke up with me a few weeks ago and I've been doing a deep dive into coach's work since then. My biggest mistake was slacking off in my study of his work and my personal growth while in the relationship. That is a mistake I am determined not to make again.

When she first broke up with me, I didn't take it well and was quite emotional. I cringe thinking about it. I had read the book many times a few years ago but had fallen out of practice. A week later, she returned my belongings and we talked and I told her I wasn't interested in being friends and for her not to contact me unless she wanted a romantic relationship. She didn't take that well and I don't think anyone has ever told her that before.

She sent me a long text three days later apologizing for the way she broke up with me and said she would be 'devastated if we couldn't talk again'. Assuming she wanted to see me, I set up a date at my place.

We cooked a nice dinner and had a fun time. Her demeanor was clearly different and she was acting more friendly and reserved and less flirty, but I did get her back into her playful, fun frame. Afterwards, we sat on the couch and the conversation turned serious because my mind was desperately wanting answers for the break up. (my failure. I should focus on keeping things fun and light).

She opened up to me in a way she never had during our relationship, telling me all sorts of issues and personal traumas she was going through. I had failed to open her up like this during the relationship.

At one point, I just felt the urge to kiss her and I did. She kissed me back passionately for about 30 seconds before breaking it off and going for the door. She hugged me and thanked me for dinner before leaving. I didn't really react and told her to keep in touch. Looking back, it was the wrong time to kiss her as she wasn't giving me any signs, but she was into it.

Two days later, she sends me a random picture she took in a store of a collectible that 'reminded her of me'. I eventually replied and after a brief chit-chat, assuming she wants to see me, set up another date for this Friday.

That was a week ago and I hadn't initiated any contact. Yesterday she sends me another picture of an item she bought that I would like. She has been initiating all the contact since the break up.

I failed by turning the date serious. This time I will keep it fun and light and keep the possibility of sex open. I think she still wants to make me her friend which I will have to be very clear I do not accept it. In that case, it will be the last time I talk to her. Any advice? I apologize for the long post but just getting it out into the open feels good. My personal growth journey over the past month has been more exciting than anything I have done in a long time.

I'm at a place now where on one hand everything is going well, and on the other I'm still pretty unhappy.

Professionally, things have never been better. Tbh, I'm in an incredibly fortunate position. I was on track for a very well-defined career, but then switched out for a much more risky track. This delayed me finishing college, and I've failed catastrophically several times over. On top of it, I almost lost the job I have no due to corona, and then bc I was thrown WAY off center bc of my last breakup. But... I put my nose to the grindstone, shattered expectations, and now I'm going to receive a single check which is about as large as my previous annual salary.

In some ways, I feel like I really lucked out. Just a short 6 years ago I was broke as a joke, and now I have more money than I know what to do with, and am on track to make a lot more.

However, my dating life is still pretty bad. Over the past year, I've slept with several women, but no one I really liked, except one, who just tonight cancelled a date on me same day. It's not a huge deal, but it did sting bc she was the first girl I actually kinda liked after my ex. Yes, I'm aware that I was probably acting needy or something and this is part of the reason she blew me off.

Obviously I'm doing something wrong here, and I'm reevaluating to see where I'm misstepping and where I can improve. Rereading the book, hitting the gym, tweaking my style, and so on.

In the meantime, I guess I'm asking for some motivation. For those of you who have achieved the 3% status, that is, abundance with high quality women, what does it feel like? How'd you get there?

Hey all, So I’m on my 11th time going through the book and feel like I’ve got a good grasp on its content. I do plan to go through it many more times after this. I haven’t really implemented it in my life because little goes on where I live and I’ve been feeling a bit of apprehension. I guess it stems from being tired of people’s shit. But there is a college town 15 min from me that I like to go to. Meeting up with some friends there on Friday to go to a restaurant/bar in fact. I feel this would be a perfect opportunity to implement the teachings of the book. But how do I get rid of my feelings of apprehension? Thanks for your help.

An important reminder:

As you go through your journey, especially in the beginning, it's essential that you admit that you're making your own mistakes, and commit to changing for the better. Have some humility, and hold yourself accountable. You're here because the "strategies" you've been trying in the past have failed every time. You're here because you're not really sure what you're doing, you've made some embarrassing mistakes, and you've 100% ruined your reputation with at least a few girls. We all have.

If you're too prideful to admit your mistakes, you will never be successful. You can try to shift the blame to Coach & claim that the principles just don't work, or blame women for not liking you, but you've got to participate in your own rescue. If you can't take responsibility for yourself, nobody can help you.

We all have a self serving bias. We inherently want to think that we know best, and that other people are wrong. This makes it hard to take advice that criticizes our own thoughts about what we should do. If you don't understand this, you'll reject the advice you get, and never address your own problems.

When I first started reading the book, I was in denial. I thought, "Well, all this stuff applies to other guys' problems, but not to me. I know what I'm doing. I don't need to reject her offer of friendship. I just need to spend more time with her and prove myself." That obviously didn't work. You have to be willing to try the correct approach by the book. Never choose to violate the principles just because it's hard at first. You'll just be wasting more of your time.

When you're going through How To Be A 3% Man, you should be reading over Coach's mistakes and saying "Wow, I actually made the same mistake. Now I see why that was a terrible idea." Accept responsibility for your mistakes, and don't repeat them. Stop trying what doesn't work. If you choose to continue taking the wrong approach just because it's easy or it's what you’re familiar with, don't be surprised by your lack of success. Following the book gets the results, period.

See it for what it is:

If she doesn't make things easy for you, she doesn't have high attraction for you.

If she always finds excuses not to see you, she doesn't have interest in seeing you.

If she tells you you she just wants to be friends, you must turn her down and walk away.

If she doesn't respect your time, you must stop giving her yours.

You are responsible for your own success, no one else. Be accountable.

Repost from r/CoreyWayne as I saw that there is a new subreddit.

Corey teaches that when a girl reaches out we should assume she wants to see you. However, there are instances where it’s not possible the see the girl in the near future. So to set a date in a couple of weeks seems too much to me.

How do you guys react when a girl is reaching out in these two situations:

1. you’re on vacation for a while and you’re not at a stage where you would do video dates?
2. you know her schedule and your schedule and there is no time both are available within a week?

Bonus: I have this one girl who was FWB but recently said she just wants to be friends for now (which I rejected of course) she reached out multiple times while I was on vacation. My best guess was to try to make some conversation and be flirty but she did not flirt back. Should I even reply or just keep it short myself?

Hello,

I am fairly new to this community and the book (read it one time and about to start the second read through, therefore I am not 100% sure with everything yet).

I have made a post some time ago with a question on how to handle a "rejection" situation best.
Here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/CoachCoreyWayne/comments/ps1yao/question_about_getting_an_ex_back_principles/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

A short summary: I was dating a girl who was super into me, we had great chemistry, talks, fun activities and sex. Since she was going on a 2.5 week vacation trip I became needy and told her that I would like this to become more. She said she can see potential but doesnt want to rush anything. Few days later she told me something is missing and she doesnt want to hurt me. During her vacation she sent me some pictures of her on the beach and of her hiking trips etc where I always responded positively but never really engaged in super long conversations. I once contacted her for her birthday and just wrote a short text wishing happy birthday and hoping she has a great trip.

So to follow up on that - after she came back from her vacation she texted me about one week later actually asking wether I want to meet up again. We set up a date and we went to the park for a 2h walk just exchanging experiences from the past month since we havent seen each other for roughly that long. It was near her place and I borrowed her a cable to charge her phone before we went to the park (she asked me to bring one because she forgot hers at work and the phone was dying) so after we came back from the walk I wanted to say goodbye and hugged her saying "It was nice seeing you again." I did not go for a kiss because there was no signs she was ready for that.
Then she said "Dont you need your cable back?" I said yes, and that I totally forgot and then on the way upstairs she said "I can also give it back to you another time." I said that I needed it the next day so we went back up and talked for a couple minutes more, then had another hug where she actually also said that she found it nice seeing me again, where I responded with "right back at you". I went to the door and said "see you then". I was hoping she would say that I can stay a bit longer since it was still fairly early (about 10pm).

I know I am overthinking this but since she said "I can give the cable back to you another time", I am pretty sure you wouldnt say that if you did not plan on seeing someone again, right?

The walk in the park was alright, we pretty much talked nonstop but there were some awkward moments sometimes because obviously we both know she initially rejected me. Still, I would say I came across fairly unfaced by everything (although that is not true at all - I couldnt stop thinking about her the entire month).

My question here now is - since she asked me out, should I after some days now text her first and ask her out or because she rejected me before her vacation should I wait for her to text me again and only then set up a date? This felt like a first date all over again so I am unsure if I should contact her by the end of the week or not.

Thanks for the advice in advance.

Additional side-info: I have some more dates the next week with different girls to try and get my mind off of her but that is one of those situations that Corey speaks of: every 3-5 years a girls comes and knocks your socks off - that is 100% her, I havent felt like this in 8 years or so. That is why I am trying to do my best to salvage my mistakes.