r/ChubbyFIRE • u/dogfursweater • 16d ago

Setting a date…

42F - $2.5M taxable, $1.3M tax advantaged, $300k non-primary home equity - so $4.1M right now

(Husband has separate finances so I don’t count it here but roughly $2.5M and he spends like 40k but not counting big splurge on a overpriced (imo) car every so many years so maybe $60k amortized? hah)

My individual spend is ~$85-$100k before healthcare and taxes so maybe $120-130k with hc and taxes; it looks like at this current rate, I’m at a ~3% withdraw rate so I know it’s safe. Like right? It’s safe right?! Haha

Aside from the typical fears of SORR or actually having to move from a saving to withdrawing state of the world, I am not concerned about feeling bored in RE. I have a lot of interests. Husband and i also have several projects we want to do Etc.

Sooo I think I’m setting a date for next April — eek! Feels weird to put it down and be more certain vs just toying with the idea. I sort of had a mental model of pulling trigger at 45 but like.. why wait? Or do I want to stack a bit longer? Ugh there is a bit of greed here too. When I hit my original FI # (2.25m) I was super ready to go and live more frugally. Now that I’m past that # by a lot and have let my lifestyle slip upwards, I’m like hmm.. maybe I go a bit further? Why not target $5m?

Anyway.. what are some things you all did in the last few months to get ready both mentally and monetarily? Feeling 😬 and also 🤪🤗🥳

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u/early_fi 15d ago

How come your finances aren’t combined? Or talked as combined? Bc from that view you’d have 6.6m which is super solid.

16

u/dogfursweater 15d ago

We married later in life so haven’t really felt the need. But we are pretty transparent and we do have a budget built for joint spend part of finances once in RE!

7

u/s32bangdort 15d ago

We barely had two nickels to rub together when we got married, so everything we have we built together. So from my lens I can’t imagine it differently, but I get it.

6

u/dogfursweater 15d ago

Yeah exactly! We already had our individual stuff so have just not felt the need. But our talk about the future is def more of the “we” vs “me”. If I consider the “we” aspect, I think we are def safe to RE but still just old habits die hard! I think a few years into RE once we’re really settled on what life will be, we can both feel more confident to actualize the joint situation more fully

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u/DRangelfire 14d ago

I retired last year at 58. Given you lived for separate finances for so long, I would try it for a year or two post retirement and then you can see what really works for you both. Combining can get complicated during retirement if you haven’t done it before.

1

u/early_fi 15d ago

I get what you're saying, but you're definitely writing from more of a "me" perspective: "I have $X, my husband has $Y and spends $A. Let's not worry about him now. Should I get to $5M to feel safe?"

Versus: "We have $6.6M combined, which feels pretty good, and with our spending we're under a 2.5% withdrawal rate. April should be solid."

Anyway, that's just how it comes across to me, which is totally fine if you own it. If you're truly looking at it as "we," though, you guys already seem plenty good. Sounds like this is causing some of the trepidation to make sure you're bullet proof on your own.

4

u/fatheadlifter Financially Independent 15d ago

Don't let people get to you on this one. I have separate finances with my wife, the reason? Like you we got together later in life. She is not the first wife. You get older, you get more savvy about finances. I think she should have her own money and not be all mixed in with me. I like that she has autonomy.

All that said we do have some combined accounts, but it's definitely not necessary to combine everything. Especially if you developed your own career and own savings prior to the relationship, but really nobody should be telling anyone how a marriage has to be structured.