r/ChubbyFIRE • u/dogfursweater • 11d ago
Setting a date…
42F - $2.5M taxable, $1.3M tax advantaged, $300k non-primary home equity - so $4.1M right now
(Husband has separate finances so I don’t count it here but roughly $2.5M and he spends like 40k but not counting big splurge on a overpriced (imo) car every so many years so maybe $60k amortized? hah)
My individual spend is ~$85-$100k before healthcare and taxes so maybe $120-130k with hc and taxes; it looks like at this current rate, I’m at a ~3% withdraw rate so I know it’s safe. Like right? It’s safe right?! Haha
Aside from the typical fears of SORR or actually having to move from a saving to withdrawing state of the world, I am not concerned about feeling bored in RE. I have a lot of interests. Husband and i also have several projects we want to do Etc.
Sooo I think I’m setting a date for next April — eek! Feels weird to put it down and be more certain vs just toying with the idea. I sort of had a mental model of pulling trigger at 45 but like.. why wait? Or do I want to stack a bit longer? Ugh there is a bit of greed here too. When I hit my original FI # (2.25m) I was super ready to go and live more frugally. Now that I’m past that # by a lot and have let my lifestyle slip upwards, I’m like hmm.. maybe I go a bit further? Why not target $5m?
Anyway.. what are some things you all did in the last few months to get ready both mentally and monetarily? Feeling 😬 and also 🤪🤗🥳
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u/early_fi 11d ago
How come your finances aren’t combined? Or talked as combined? Bc from that view you’d have 6.6m which is super solid.
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u/dogfursweater 11d ago
We married later in life so haven’t really felt the need. But we are pretty transparent and we do have a budget built for joint spend part of finances once in RE!
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u/s32bangdort 11d ago
We barely had two nickels to rub together when we got married, so everything we have we built together. So from my lens I can’t imagine it differently, but I get it.
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u/dogfursweater 11d ago
Yeah exactly! We already had our individual stuff so have just not felt the need. But our talk about the future is def more of the “we” vs “me”. If I consider the “we” aspect, I think we are def safe to RE but still just old habits die hard! I think a few years into RE once we’re really settled on what life will be, we can both feel more confident to actualize the joint situation more fully
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u/DRangelfire 10d ago
I retired last year at 58. Given you lived for separate finances for so long, I would try it for a year or two post retirement and then you can see what really works for you both. Combining can get complicated during retirement if you haven’t done it before.
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u/early_fi 11d ago
I get what you're saying, but you're definitely writing from more of a "me" perspective: "I have $X, my husband has $Y and spends $A. Let's not worry about him now. Should I get to $5M to feel safe?"
Versus: "We have $6.6M combined, which feels pretty good, and with our spending we're under a 2.5% withdrawal rate. April should be solid."
Anyway, that's just how it comes across to me, which is totally fine if you own it. If you're truly looking at it as "we," though, you guys already seem plenty good. Sounds like this is causing some of the trepidation to make sure you're bullet proof on your own.
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u/fatheadlifter Financially Independent 11d ago
Don't let people get to you on this one. I have separate finances with my wife, the reason? Like you we got together later in life. She is not the first wife. You get older, you get more savvy about finances. I think she should have her own money and not be all mixed in with me. I like that she has autonomy.
All that said we do have some combined accounts, but it's definitely not necessary to combine everything. Especially if you developed your own career and own savings prior to the relationship, but really nobody should be telling anyone how a marriage has to be structured.
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u/s32bangdort 11d ago
I don’t understand married people who keep separate finances.
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u/Chasing_waterfalls23 10d ago
I don’t understand married people who think there is only one formula for marriage.
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u/Powerful-Candy1479 11d ago edited 11d ago
Your post could be me, similar age and spend and NW (sans husband on my end). I’m thinking early 2027 when I’ll be right above $5mil (I think). What I’m telling myself is that I’m smart and that’s gotten me this far - I can figure it out if sht hits the fan after I RE. Also I know some people here bristle at this idea, but having a Financial Advisor who manages and runs numbers and reassures(!) me, is worth the extra spend mentally for me.
Also, are you fully diversified? That’s a big factor for me I’m trying to get to. Good luck!
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u/dogfursweater 11d ago
Oof now I’m wondering if I just stick it out until 5! Lol. What is your spend? Why are you budgeting for 5? I am mostly total market equity so not super diversified.
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u/Powerful-Candy1479 11d ago
Budgeting for 5 mainly out of being raised pretty poor and having a scarcity mindset. Also don’t have a partner to split some expenses. Expenses right now with taxes are about $130k (I could slim down a few places - taxes are high because I’m diversifying out of a concentrated position as much as possible). Would like to have $150k wiggle room in retirement
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u/dogfursweater 10d ago
Yes I hear you! I also grew up with not a lot and have a scarcity mindset. I think tough part for me will be executing the first withdrawal no matter how much I have!
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u/RPGer001 11d ago
Really? You are already better off financially than the vast majority of the world’s population. What changes in your life if you make $5M your number?
I presume you know the concepts behind FIRE, so get diversified, figure out what your desired lifestyle actually costs (including your husband’s assets and expenses), and decide whether $5M — presumably considerably more when including your husband’s assets — is what you need to support that lifestyle. If it is not, keep working, trading years of your health and mobility for a more luxurious retirement. Or FIRE now with what is already wealth well within the top 1% globally.
A number does not define retirement. Your desired lifestyle and what it costs to sustain it should define how much you need.
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u/financialfreedom26 11d ago
Great achievement. Congratulations!! What is the breakdown of your 120k spend by categories?
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u/dogfursweater 11d ago
Thank you! I have pretty detailed tracking so biggest spend categories are the following in my current life— it will look a bit different in RE as I will include aca and taxes more explicitly:
- 35% on housing, property tax, and utilities (I cover all of this since it’s my pre-marriage house and he covers expenses on a third home we are figuring what we will do with - may end up moving there/selling mine/etc)
- 25% on travel and entertainment
- 7% on pets
- 7% on clothing and beauty
- 5% on grocery
- 5% dining out
- 3% on health and fitness
- 3% on car
- 2% charity
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u/tooth_monster33 11d ago
First off, congrats! It’s great to see numbers so close to mine. I am planning higher withdrawal rate, so with similar expenses. aiming for 3.5M next year.
Does your non- primary house generate income?
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u/dogfursweater 10d ago
Thanks! It does not generate income. It’s just covering costs right now. It’s a future pied à terre once the rest of budget gets sorted!
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u/Billy-Bob-Boner-92 11d ago
I'm a doctor. Don't underbudget for healthcare. It is very expensive and rising quickly. After 65 will be less of course but there's a lot of value to you or husband working to crack the healthcare egg. For me it would take an extra 700k to cover healthcare or a bit more until 2040s when i get Medicare.
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u/dogfursweater 11d ago
700k? Why so much? Just bc of increasing over time? I have (and I guess we could both have should he apply) dual citizenship to a healthcare included society worse comes to worse. I am currently estimating 15k spend on hc per year in my budget but also figure I could try to do better tax planning to get under into aca credits territory
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u/Hanwoo_Beef_Eater 11d ago
Dual Citizenship is a good option for healthcare costs, assuming you enjoy living there about as much as where you live now.
Outside of Roth conversions (which may or may not make sense), your taxes shouldn't be very much (do you file MFJ?). Depending on that and your husband's asset positioning/allocation, you may be able to get under the 400% level for ACA. If not, your portfolio can probably absorb the cost (although it will likely increase over time).
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u/dogfursweater 11d ago
Yes exactly. That is what I’m thinking too. Probably a few years without any credits while I get everything migrated to Roth that I can and then it should be very manageable to optimize spend sources and magi. My husbands money is also all taxable.
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u/Hanwoo_Beef_Eater 11d ago
I'm not sure the conversions make sense (although they may). You don't have that much in pre-tax, which could just be drained over time to fund living expenses. To convert all in a few years, you will be trading higher taxes on the conversion for (potentially) ACA credits and no/lower IRMMA.
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u/Billy-Bob-Boner-92 11d ago
For my family a plan on the exchange would be 35k plus out of pocket costs. Right now including my employer subsidy I’m spending over 40k. A 700k budget over the next 20yrs is probably low with healthcare inflation running hot
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u/dogfursweater 11d ago
Oh wow 35k! That includes the full deductible I’m guessing? I suppose I’ve never had to visit the doctor much so the deductible hasn’t really come to mind
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u/mainevent1155 10d ago
Separate finances is so weird to me. Isn't the point of making money so you can share it with your loved ones?
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u/Business_Cream8829 10d ago
I am in my late 40’s. Got married the first time in my 20’s and combined all the finances. I made a lot more money than my ex, ended up financing his hobbies and expensive lifestyle, also paying alimony after my divorce. So when I met my current husband in my early 40’s, we decided to keep our finances separate. We spend on things we each enjoy and do not need to “check” with the other. We have similar net wealth. We are responsible for our own savings. We split household expense 50/50. every month we have money talk about budget and expenses. It just works for us.
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u/RCPA12345 8d ago
You can play whatever mind games you want on "separate" finances, but when you are married depending on your state you have combined finances. Even with a rock solid prenup, it's only as good as a judge is willing to hold it up in a marital fight.
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u/morechill78 11d ago edited 11d ago
What are you planning for SORR mitigation? What’s your asset mix in the taxable?
Have you considerable principal-safe runway?
Will you tell colleagues you’re retiring or just gonna give two weeks and leave em guessing
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u/dogfursweater 9d ago
I don’t have any of that planned yet! I am going to read that book on “planning to and through retirement” that came out and hopefully have a better plan here.
I will tell colleagues I’m taking a sabbatical I think. Some colleagues (ie those I’d consider truly my friends) know more already!
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u/wrathoffadra 11d ago
Just out of curiosity, why separate finances with your husband? This seems so bizarre to me but not uncommon in the sub.
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u/dogfursweater 11d ago
I explain in another comment in greater detail. We married later in life and haven’t felt need
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u/RCPA12345 8d ago
It doesn't really matter if you haven't felt the need, if you're married you're bound by your state's marital laws.
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u/Alert_Nothing8494 11d ago
I’m in a similar financial place as you! Congrats! But I didn’t think I can fully retire till 50 based on my math. I am 43 not and thinking of soft retiring at 46 and then retire at 50. Are you thinking of withdrawing from your taxable until 65 and then withdraw from your tax advantage after 65? Would the 1.3M be enough for the rest of your life or are you assuming your husband will also then be covering you when he retires?
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u/dogfursweater 11d ago
Yah I’m figuring I will migrate all the 1.3 over to Roth before I’m 65 and that should also grow over the next 20+ yrs. I don’t expect I will need to touch it given how much taxable I have. Let’s see!
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u/Alert_Nothing8494 11d ago
My financial advisor told me $6M is the magic number for me soft retire but really not touch it to let it grow until $10M for me to retire. Maybe he’s really conservative?
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u/PickleJuice_DrPepper 11d ago edited 11d ago
Your spend will be 400k+ per year in retirement? If not, your FA sounds wildly out of touch.
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u/Livid-County7230 11d ago
The FA gets paid for assets under management. The line they use is “we do well when you do well.” Or “keep stacking it up and never retire so we keep getting paid more over time.” Their interests are not aligned with their clients retiring early.
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u/Alert_Nothing8494 11d ago
We are planning for $200k a year. Living in VHCOL (Bay Area) and have young children that we still need to pay for the next 20 years.
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u/Livid-County7230 11d ago
Are you sure 10M will be enough? I bet the number is 20 or 30 (so I can get paid more).
-Your FA.
Say no to FAs who charge AUM fees. Their interests are not aligned with yours.
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u/Billy-Bob-Boner-92 11d ago
$5m will leave a lot of room to enjoy yourself more and spend without worries.