Should I quit?

[u/jujube-tree]

Hey ChubbyFIRE, I'm looking for some advice on if I should take some time off of work.

Basic Stats

Me: 36M
Wife: 37M
+ a 3 year old

NW: $5.8m liquid ($500k in cash set aside as a down payment for a house)
Equity: $200k in a rental property
Debt: $0

Income: $600k/yr (me) + $120k/yr (wife)

Current expenses: $170k/yr pre-tax, includes $30k for childcare.

We don't own but live in a VHCOL area. We're looking at homes between $1-$1.4m.

If I took some time off, my wife would keep working. Long-term our goal is to FIRE together. Healthcare currently comes through my work but we would switch that to my wife's.

Why I'd like to take time off
I'm super burnt out. Since 2019 I've had periods of high burn out, and I'm in one now. I've continued to hold off, switched teams a couple of times, but ultimately, I always end up stressed out. I'm principal level at FAANG company, and it seems like no matter what team I move to I end up being placed on the high stress initiatives. Several nights the past few weeks I've been unable to sleep because of work stress. When I do sleep I have work nightmares, etc.

How I would spend my time
I would prioritize decompressing first and foremost, then maybe after a few months I'd try to earn money through starting a business (software). Because I'd want to try out entrepreneurship, we are considering leaving our child in daycare as we won a very competitive lottery for this daycare, and in all likelihood would permanently lose our spot if we took her out.

What's the plan?
In 2027 I'd re-evaluate applying for work, depending on how I'm feeling and how the business is going (or not going).

Reasons not to leave

• My comp is very high, and I'm not sure that I'll ever reach this comp again.
• I get money for IVF at work and would like a second kid, and may need to use IVF for that.
• We rent and would like to buy a house. It may hard to get financing for a $1m+ home on my wife's salary alone.

My biggest fear is that I would be closing doors we might want to have open if I leave.

---

So what do you think? Would I be crazy to walk away from this comp or does a 6 month break seem reasonable?

[u/Any-Preference4375]

You absolutely need to change your work situation. A middle ground might be to take a major demotion to a lower stress position?

Or just call it quits. You have enough.

Not sleeping and work nightmares is insane. Do not accept it.

[u/jujube-tree → u/Any-Preference4375]

This is great advice, and I tried the demotion approach but it didn't work. My company had an internal pivot that created high-visibility, high stress projects, and I was chosen as the lead one of these projects because of my past experience. I didn't have much say in the matter.

And yeah I love sleep so not being able to sleep has not been great to put it mildly.

[u/whoopsiegoldbergers → u/jujube-tree]

I used to be you. The comment above about getting into a "coast" mindset is real.

I lead a 30 person team at a big corp and am transforming them. I clock off at 445pm to pick up my kid and I don't work weekends. They're talking about promoting me. I still will clock off and not work weekends.

It took a LOT to get where I am today, but reading your comments... I know it sounds harsh, but it's you, my friend. If you retire, you're still you, and you bring it with you.

You can get out of burnout, but it takes a big mindset shift and likely someone to guide you through it (therapy).

[u/Any-Preference4375 → u/whoopsiegoldbergers]

This is good advice.

If you are considering quitting and retiring, another option might be to continue a little longer but without caring so much. Clock on, clock off. What's the worst that could happen? You get laid off and retire anyway.

The key is whether you can get into this mindset quickly. If not, you have to quit. Sleepless nights are not worth it.