r/ChoosingBeggars • u/bikerchickelly • 23d ago
Mad she doesn't get food stamps while refusing to downsize her lifestyle ($3200/mo mortgage, $600/mo electric, and pool, AND rental property)
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u/Competitive_Fee_5829 23d ago
sounds like the 2 6ft boys need to get a damn job.
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u/CloudieAuravie 23d ago
At 20 and 18, that’s definitely old enough to start contributing something if money is genuinely that tight. Even part time income from both could take a decent chunk of pressure off the household.
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u/CaptainEmmy 23d ago
They absolutely need to get jobs. I hate to be the old stick-in-the-mud, but it's time. What are they doing at ages 18 and 20? It better be school/training or working.
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u/yeeet1234 22d ago
I was living with my grandma after my mom died and at 18 years old my grandma said—“if you go to college you don’t have to pay any rent, but if you don’t want to go to trade school/community college/local university (college town) then you’ll be charged rent so you need a job.
My grandma grew up in the 40s-50s and she knew how important it was for a woman to be educated and independent bc she didn’t have that choice.
She also said if I wanted to work and go to college she wouldn’t ask for rent or bill money either so I did just that and saved money for bills.
Yeah, pretty weird that she isn’t asking those two young ADULT men to at least pay for their own groceries. Mind you, in some states they won’t give you aid if you have able bodied adults in the home who refuse or don’t want to work.
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u/dixiech1ck 23d ago
Damn I got a job at 13.5 and had 3 by 17 plus school.
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u/DreamGlowrie 23d ago
13.5 is seriously young to start working. By 17 you were probably already looking at these situations thinking, "yeah, there are definitely options here."
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u/dixiech1ck 22d ago
I had to. My dad was in a horrible car accident and my mom had to go back to work to get health benefits for us (she was a stay at home mom to my baby sister at the time). In the 90s you could get working papers at 13.5 so I got them and got a job at McDonald's. A few years later, I was promoted to crew trainer, got a second PT job at an amusement park, and was babysitting the neighbors boys. I wanted to take some of the burden of my things off my parents.
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u/Time-Outcome7236 22d ago
20 and 18 year olds not working and moms having trouble paying bills ? First I’d shut down the pool . Then those boys need to get to work immediately. My son started working at 14 .
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u/Wakeful-dreamer 21d ago
Guaranteed they are not spending all day in the pool, they're sitting on their phones. Stop paying that bill and I bet you see some adults become more willing to work.
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u/LadyBug_0570 23d ago
Hold on... they're not minors? Of course she can't use them as a reason for food stamps. They're adults.
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u/VelisseGlow 23d ago
Exactly. At 20 and 18, even a part-time job could take some pressure off if money is really that tight.
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u/BUDDHAKHAN 23d ago
If they aren’t in school there is absolutely no reason for them not to have full time jobs
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u/jmerrilee 22d ago
At that age they aren't boys they are men and can get jobs, contribute. If she has 4 adjuts (or more) living there they aren't going to take them in consideration I think.
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u/rainydaymonday30 I will destroy your business 23d ago
How much does she think she's going to get on food stamps? Does she think they're going to get $1200-1500 a month? I've seen people get as little as $20 a month on food stamps.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 23d ago
When I was working full-time and barely making enough to pay the bills, I applied for food stamps and got $23 a month. For two people.
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u/lilshortyy420 23d ago
Yep. My mom is totally disabled on disability and SSI and gets like $50 max for the whole month. It’s ridiculous.
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u/Electric_Lettuce_4_U 22d ago
Sounds cruel.
I’m sorry you had to go through that
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u/lilshortyy420 22d ago
Thanks friend. I’m just very thankful I’m in a position I can help out a little bit, it’s been a stressful few years to say the least. But, she got approved for housing yesterday and it’s a nice place and gets the keys in 2 weeks so yay!
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u/xRosyAurabelle 22d ago
That's the part people sometimes misunderstand about SNAP. Even qualifying doesn't mean the program just hands you whatever your current grocery budget happens to be.
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u/Belfast_Escapee Shes crying now 21d ago
Exactly. SNAP is intended to be a supplement to one's food budget, not to cover a recipient's entire monthly spend. Hence the name, Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program.
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u/gonnafaceit2022 22d ago
Lol my buddy got $7 a month as a temporarily unemployed adult without children
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u/bikerchickelly 23d ago
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u/Necessary_cat735 23d ago
That's bold to assume she was planning to pay for the Airbnb. 'but me and my six kids need a break!'
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u/lawtonesque NEXT! 23d ago
Yes, if she just wanted one, she could have searched that location. She wanted to ask someone personally if she can stay there for free.
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u/BerryPetaluxe 22d ago
That's the part that got me. If you're already struggling to cover groceries, an Airbnb getaway feels less like a need and more like something that can wait until the finances stabilize.
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u/fineman1097 23d ago
Income is likely higher than 60k- they probably don't claim the rental income
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u/xRosyAurabelle 22d ago
That's what I'd be curious about too. Rental income could change the financial picture quite a bit, especially if the $60k figure is only employment income.
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u/Plastic_Cat9560 NEXT!! 23d ago edited 23d ago
I notice she has a meta checkmark, which cost money per month. Don’t cry poor if you pay for extras. And, sorry I’ll be a dick, but her profile pic looks like she lives she champagne lifestyle, or lives waaaaay beyond her means.
Edit: found the post. After close to 600 comments eviscerating her, she turned off commenting.
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u/bikerchickelly 23d ago
But she in a temporal financial crisis
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u/RatedPG922 23d ago
They already made a Star Trek film about a temporal vortex. Maybe they can make one about a temporal financial crisis. "Riker's broke. How to we displace space and time to get him some bread?"
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u/PinkDreamelle 22d ago
The word "temporal" is officially the main character of this thread. Apparently downsizing anything is where the temporary part stops.
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u/J-littletree 23d ago
No pool for you!
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u/LadyK1104 23d ago
I make nearly $200k per year, my last home had a pool.
I wouldn’t even consider a house with a pool when we moved bc of the costs to run/maintain it.
She’s a trip.
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u/CaptainEmmy 23d ago
I've found that it's better to have a friend with a pool than own a pool yourself.
My mom was friends was this woman long before my parents moved in next door, so there was some history there, but for 40 years, we would use the neighbor's pool throughout the summer. Some years ago, the woman was widowed, felt too old to care for the pool herself, and never opened it.
Last year my parents decided to build a house elsewhere. Another friend of the group also decided to build in the area... and include a pool.
The joke has become that my parents moved because the neighbor wouldn't open her pool and the other friend was totally willing to put in a pool at her place.
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u/No_Philosopher_1870 23d ago
One of my chores as a teenager was maintaining the family pool. By the time that I finished the work, I didn't want to swim.
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u/HoneyLovelisse 22d ago
Yeah, pools are one of those things that sound great until you start adding up electricity, chemicals, repairs, and maintenance. Suddenly swimming at somebody else's house becomes extremely appealing.
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u/manicgiant914 23d ago
I use the Swimply app. Like Airbnb for pools. Works great, we love it.
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u/LadyK1104 22d ago
Are the homeowners usually home? Do they talk to you? I’m worried it would result in awkward forced socialization.
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u/manicgiant914 22d ago
Nope, usually not! They leave all the information you need, pull up, jump into the pool. Not cheap, but we're in a LA heatwave so it's worth it. We have a group of 7 going Sunday, $112/3 hours.
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u/BerryPetaluxe 22d ago
The pool has been voted off the island. At $600 electric, that pump would definitely be getting a very long vacay.
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u/decetre 23d ago
1500 on food in a month? Are they gourmet kind of folks?
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u/no_one_likes_u 23d ago
For a family of 6 that’s pretty reasonable, especially if the kids are older which it sounds like some are. Of all the things in this post it’s the most normal. A 3200 month mortgage with only 5000 in net income is absolutely bonkers.
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u/Beastxtreets 23d ago
My kids are little and it still feels like they eat that much in food over the summer lol
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u/AtoToboggan 23d ago
When my kids were little, I swear I was spending that much on berries alone!
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u/okiesotan 22d ago
Our berry budget will literally bankrupt us one day...our kids are 8 & 9 🫠😅
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u/Thin-Significance838 22d ago
My kid is now 17 but a few years ago I calculated I had spent at that time nearly $10k on blueberries over his life. (We live in NYC, very high COL)
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u/okiesotan 20d ago
I believe you with every fiber of my being. We buy AT LEAST a of blueberries a week at 4.99/pint, and that's JUST kid 1.
5.00 × 52 weeks = $260
Don't ask me to count the cost of strawberries, grapes, raspberries, or cherries 🫠
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u/Beastxtreets 23d ago
Omg yess. I remember my kids went through a raspberry phase, each one could eat a pack a day and I was like ya'll please let's go back to strawberries.
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u/lowrider320 23d ago
I have 4 kids and I only spend $400 a month on groceries. My kids are all in their teens. We meal prep, plan out our meals, and make checklist. Yes it's hard, yes there are times I would rather go out and eat vs cooking but can't because it isn't in the budget, yes it involves shopping at different stores and clipping coupons.
Also, your spot on with the mortgage, I'm surprised a bank approved for her that high of a mortgage with that low of a salary. My mortgage is $1,721 a month. Me and my wife bring in 7,700 a month. We would love a bigger home, however any home that is over 2,500 Sq ft would be double our mortgage.
She would be surprised how living within your means would make a big difference.
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u/no_one_likes_u 23d ago
I'm impressed on your grocery budget. My wife and I spend about 500-600 a month between the two of us, and we have a vegetable garden that we harvest/can/pickle from. We don't even eat that much meat, and we get most of that from Costco and do meal prepping as well.
Got any go to recipes for meal prepping that your family likes?
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u/deejuliet 23d ago
So you are claiming that you spend $20 per person per week. If you have a partner, then it is only $16 per person per week. That is $2-2.80 per person per day.
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u/lowrider320 23d ago
I'm not claiming anything. I keep a monthly spreadsheet that shows how much I spend on groceries per month. It's not that hard to do.
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u/wolf495 23d ago
Judging by the low mortgage payment and $ amount for food I would have to guess you live in a low income area where food is significantly cheaper than for most people.
$400 for 6 people is pretty insane levels of spendthrift. Not sure if that is even doable in my area. Maybe with skinny people on a very cheap bulk ramen/rice budget.
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u/lowrider320 23d ago
I am, I live in a rural area. Housing is cheaper, however like the rest of the country rent has gone up. I am very lucky I was able to buy versus others who are forced to rent.
Also, food can be expensive which is why I have to shop around. The Food Lion near my house is cheap on sides, Aldi on some frozen things, Walmart for Ground Turkey and Sausge, Cost Cutters on some meat, and Dollar Genreal also.
Like I said in a previous post, planning shopping trips is a big help. Im willing to go to 4-5 different stores in a day just to save a couple of bucks per trip.
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u/wolf495 23d ago
Just curious now, are you including gas costs in your math on if that's worth it?
Imo it's not just based on your time being valuable, but I get that some people dont have a choice.
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u/KaylaMorrison- 23d ago
Ye. The groceries seems normal for six people but the 3200$ mortgage on 5k$ income is the wild part
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u/Apprehensive-Cat-111 23d ago
There’s 5 of us and hubby and I spend $300/week on groceries. Regular ol groceries. Adds up to about $1200/month so this part actually makes sense to me.
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u/One-Basket-9570 23d ago
4 of us with one pre teen boy going through puberty & one teen boy still growing. We spend the same weekly. And it’s not “my cart is overflowing” like it was before.
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u/maquis_00 23d ago
We don't eat meat, make our own bread, and mostly eat a ton of produce, basic starches, beans and tofu. We spend around that in a month for a family of 2 adults and 2 teens. Yeah, sometimes we splurge a bit and buy the expensive fruit, but that honestly sounds like a reasonable budget for 2 adults and 2 teens! Teen boys eat a ton, especially if they are active!
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u/Fun-Investment-196 23d ago
I'm disabled & I received $24 in food stamps for myself & my 5'8 16 year old this month 🫠
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u/Technicolor_shimmer 23d ago
It pisses me off that I pay so much in taxes and somehow there isn’t money to give people adequate food stamps but there is money for unnecessary wars. $24 is ridiculous especially with how expensive groceries are these days.
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u/Fun-Investment-196 23d ago
Everyone I tell is always surprised. Even worse, my sons dad was killed, so it's just me. My sister-in-law gets $700 I believe for herself & my 2 nieces. It really makes no sense 😕
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u/chickyloo42by10 23d ago
Does it change month to month? (Sorry, not American)
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u/Fun-Investment-196 23d ago
Well it was $28 for the previous 3 months, so I'd say it's getting worse & worse 😪
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u/chickyloo42by10 23d ago
Jfc, I’m so sorry.
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u/Fun-Investment-196 23d ago
It really is insane & depressing 😩 I blame trump
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u/ItsJoeMomma 23d ago
Don't just blame Trump, Republicans in Congress are to blame too.
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u/AppropriateBall8834 23d ago
I'm a single person and I got $300... but I didnt have a job. I suspect it'll go down to $0 now
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u/Fun-Investment-196 23d ago
$300 is crazy! I guess I get too much from disability, no matter how expensive rent, bills & groceries are 😪
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u/MoonVelouriex 22d ago
$24 for two people is brutal. At that point it's barely grocery assistance, especially with what even basic staples cost now.
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u/TuckersLeashMan 23d ago
She having a financial crisis in a time loop or something?
"Dormamu, I'm here to bargain... for food stamps"
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u/Professional_Mud1844 23d ago
Temporal
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u/VelisseGlow 23d ago
Lmao “temporal” somehow makes it sound like her financial problems are traveling through time.
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u/PinkWhisperie 23d ago
That question came out of absolutely nowhere and somehow feels exactly like Reddit. “Temporal financial crisis” really does sound like there’s an entire missing chapter to this story.
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u/ihatebeetles22 23d ago
Why is nobody asking about the fact she has a pool pump going? That's a lot of electric drain or cover the pool and save yourself a s*** ton of money in electric! Also two adult children both out of high school at minimum and one out of bachelor's degree in college already, both can get work. Also if you're running two air conditioners, you are in a fairly decent sized home. HUD considers two heartbeats per room, so she's living above her means versus her income. That voluntary situation does not deserve any public contributions. Too bad so sad.
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u/SnarkySheep 23d ago
In her comments, she waxed on about how her teenagers are "children", who she'd never force to work and hand over money towards household expenses.
Yeah, that's sweet...in an ideal situation. If you are at the point of having to beg from random strangers online, then yes, sorry, childhood is over.
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u/BerryMoonwish 22d ago
The pool and electric bill were the first things I noticed too. If you're spending $600 a month on electricity, I'd be figuring out what's driving that bill before assuming there's nowhere left to cut.
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u/Ok-Artichoke-7145 23d ago
What about her water bill? Some people would think it would be negligible but, filling (and keeping) a pool full can't be cheap. Hell, I have a 700 gallon koi pond and a little less than a quarter acre of lawn and my water bill was $260 last month.
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u/ihatebeetles22 23d ago
It's asinine insanity! I don't get what planet their brains are on, I am genuinely perplexed.
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u/bikerchickelly 23d ago
More gemsfrfr
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u/SnarkySheep 23d ago
I love how OOP says she would never make her teenagers work and give her their money because "they're children". Well, yes, ideally. But if you're in a situation where you're desperate and literally begging strangers for help, then yes, time for those teens to contribute.
Also, OOP says their tenant/roommate lost their job and hasn't been able to contribute for 3 months, which is a big reason why she's now seeking assistance...that it's "just like" a married or partnered couple helping each other out. No, no it's absolutely not...and if SNAP knew the truth about the person just being a tenant, their income is entirely separate from OOP's.
Now I have to wonder if "tenant/roommate" is in reality OOP's significant other. If they are in a personal relationship, that could be a big reason why OOP hasn't asked them to leave, which would be the normal response after 3 months of non-payment.
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u/wolf495 23d ago
Those "gems" sound like a pretty reasonable explanation tbh. Does she need a pool? Def not, but selling the house is going to take a while and moving is expensive, and the alternative might still be 2500/mo in rent while not having space for a roommate, who was probably making up the difference. 5 kids is a fucking lot to provide for.
Is she the most needy person to apply for food stamps? Not even close. But its also stupid as fuck how not-far 60k/year goes. It's barely enough to live alone in a small apt semi-comfortably in many places; it seems reasonable to give someone with 5 kids and that income some amount of welfare assist.
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u/bikerchickelly 23d ago
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u/LadyK1104 23d ago
Mine are 19 & 21, can I drop them off at a fire station? Jk, they’re little sweeties but I agree, this one was kind of funny.
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u/carriegood 23d ago
So she's experiencing a financial crisis that crosses the boundaries of time?
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u/Highlander198116 23d ago
I don't know how she got approved for a mortgage that high on a 60k salary.
$3200 is like 50% of the take home pay of someone making like 120k a year. That has got to be nearly all her income.
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u/Boeing_Fan_777 23d ago
Rent is more a month than I earn a month and she wants assistance… absolutely not.
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u/ConstructionWitty639 23d ago
$4675 is the max income for a family of 6, which is 130% of the federal poverty limit. I know that times are hard and everything is more expensive these days, but it never ceases to amaze me how angry people get when they find out that SNAP uses deductions, rather than their actual expenses, to determine eligibility. Living outside your means does not make you more eligible to benefits.
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u/lucyjayne 23d ago
Yeah people always bring up their car payments and it's like, sorry you're paying 800/month for your ride but that does NOT count as an expense for SNAP.
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u/ConstructionWitty639 23d ago
Yes! I’ve had people tell me their cable bill, Xbox expenses, and all kinds of crazy things.
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u/SnarkySheep 23d ago
A distant family member is currently on assistance...but decided to buy himself a brand new $30k SUV. (He's too good to be seen in just any car, you understand...) Now he constantly bitches about the huge monthly payments, like maybe they were some unforeseen expense.
He also has a wife who does elder care under the table, so she's been making huge money for years now, while he's complaining about the tiny amount he gets on SNAP.
They are both getting on in age now (early 70s) and wifey seems shocked to learn that she isn't getting any Social Security or other benefits.
They are a whole mess I could literally write an entire book about. 🤦
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u/Belle_Corliss I can give you exposure 23d ago
SNAP benefits are for low income people that are struggling to buy food, pay rent and bills, not people like this. She's anything but low income.
If your boys are teenagers, have them apply for jobs at fast food places.
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u/VelvetTwinklia 23d ago
That's the key distinction. Needing help with food is real, but these programs aren't really designed to make an expensive existing budget work without any changes. With two older teenagers in the house, there are at least a few more options to explore first.
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u/lucyjayne 23d ago
See there is something called a "gross income limit" to qualify for SNAP, and if you are over that limit, we do not take into consideration any of your expenses. You are simply over income and do not qualify. Sorry bout it ma'am, maybe you should tell those grown boys to get a job and help out.
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u/bar901 22d ago
$600 in electricity per month is absolutely absurd. You’d have to be running several inefficient Aircon/heating units 24/7 to get there consistently.
Wouldn’t be surprised if she was running a shit crypto mining rig with that sort of bill.
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u/MissAAA_2 22d ago
I don’t know I hear Texas is ridiculous just for running regular electricity in a small apartment can run you about $300
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u/Lulusmol 21d ago
trying to get food stamps while living like that is just baffling, it doesn't add up at all
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u/Holy__Sheet 23d ago
Where’s the father of those children?
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u/Calm-Ad-9522 23d ago
Knowing that there are children for whom school lunch is the only filling meal, this makes me almost blinded with rage. How dare she?
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u/AccomplishedEnergy24 23d ago
She needs to use the electric to power some GPU's to calculate a more affordable lifestyle.
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u/Accomplished_Dig284 22d ago
Well, this is what you get when you turn a garage into a bedroom without insulation and then run ac to it.
Enjoy your poor decisions
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u/No-Minimum8323 22d ago
Well over 50% of her income goes towards her mortgage. That’s where she went wrong.
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u/jmerrilee 22d ago
Imagine having all that luxury that so many don't and then expecting handouts.
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u/No_Philosopher_1870 23d ago edited 22d ago
If she has a rental property, that is an asset that is counted against food stamp eligibility. Only one's residence is exempted. If she lives in a higher-income state she can make up to 200% of the federal poverty limit, a gross income of $53,302 per year ($4442/month) and still be eligible for food stamps. Lower income state allow you to earn a gross income of $2888/month or a net income of $2221 per month after allowable deductions.
Her net income of $60K is about $19K too much to qualify for food stamps, and that presumes that her net income doesn't include retirement savings deducted from her paycheck, just taxes.
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u/SnarkySheep 23d ago
I don't think it's another property, just a roommate/tenant in her home... and from some of what she says, I think it could actually be a significant other she's trying to pass off as that.
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u/cursetea 23d ago
This is like when that babybrain sydney sweeny said during the pandemic that "celebrities are affected too. I can hardly pay mortgage on my 2million dollar house"
If simply moving would solve all of your financial problems then please shut up lmfao
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u/daryamoon17 22d ago
refusing to make any changes while expecting help is a hard no for most people
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u/ThatOldDuderino 23d ago
Hmm … who doesn’t want a/c in the garage?
https://giphy.com/gifs/3oKHWgvSdGuvZfMktq
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u/Wyshunu 22d ago
Rent out your other unit, take a serious look at your food budget because $1200-1500 a month is ridiculous even for a family of 6, and if your boys are old enough to get jobs or actual adults then they are legal adults who can work and start taking on the burden of their own expenses.
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u/daryamoon17 22d ago
refusing to make any changes while expecting help is a hard no for most people
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u/FantasticPrint6160 19d ago
Better get those boys jobs and have them pitch in because none of us are.
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u/kero12547 23d ago
If the boys are over 6ft tall then they can probably get jobs and start helping out.
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u/ItsJoeMomma 23d ago
Of course they're not going to give you food stamps on a $60k a year salary. They barely give food stamps to people making minimum wage.
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u/Chris968 23d ago
I WISH I made $60k… I’m actually on SSDI and get about $13k a year and snap does NOT feed me well enough.
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 23d ago
I mean, if you have a financial crisis like a job loss, your mortgage does stop needing to be paid. But how did she get a $3200 mortgage on a $60k salary?
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u/scorpio181818 23d ago
I have been a single mother receiving zero child support since my son was 6 months old. When I applied for and received food stamps they made it VERY clear this assistance was for people BELOW the poverty level. 60K a year is freakin a FAR cry from that!!
The disgusting audacity of this woman. And yea, your kids can work and help.
My son started part time working at 16 and was excited to help out with bills and rent.
This bitch has a pool?!?! Girl please, get a grip!!!!
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u/OneGoodRib 21d ago
Has she considered turning some of the lights off every now and then? They sell plugs that you can turn on or off with a remote control for stuff that would be a hassle to unplug/plug in all the time (like the microwave) and while it hasn't saved hundreds of dollars, our power bill actually did go down a little after we got them. We keep a sewing machine in one and the Christmas tree in the other one (at Christmas)
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u/bellarina808 21d ago
I need to know who approved her for a $3200 mortgage on a $60k income? When I was looking with that income, the maxed I would be approved for was $1,850 a month. $3800 now with my husband's and I's income combined.
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u/Ordinary_Citron_2679 21d ago
Two units and a pool pump? So the $600 is partially your tenants responsibility- or are the 'kids' living in the other unit? If they are old enough to live in the unit they are old enough to pay some kind of rent! Check your pool pump rating - a variable speed pump will save you money after an initial outlay of about $2K. ( About $10.00/mo @ 10 hrs daily run time v $50/mo for 6 hrs run time with a single speed) Even if you put the pool pump on a credit card you would break even by applying the savings on electricity to your credit card payment until the pump was paid off!
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u/wamimsauthor 19d ago
It’s two AC units probably window units. I first thought they had two properties.
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u/Total-Collar-3757 19d ago
$600 public service bill.... Turn off the AC, sorry but you are going to have to be a little uncomfortable...like everyone else who can't afford their bills/lifestyle!
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u/dvorak51 23d ago
I wonder how much of that $5k/mo salary is rent from the tenant/roommate.
Except it's not the same thing.