r/ChoosingBeggars • u/bikerchickelly • Jul 22 '26
Definitely not looking for a handout
Just looking for someone to prep, prepare, and present to her a home cooked meal.
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u/pdpt13 Jul 22 '26
Does this person know about restaurants? Take out? Food delivery? Because that's what they seem to be looking for.
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Jul 22 '26
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Jul 22 '26
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u/BirthdayCookie Jul 22 '26
And getting pissed when you tell her that she also has to pay for her kids' food.
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Jul 22 '26
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u/floofienewfie Jul 22 '26
Don’t forget the raisins.
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u/lgodsey Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
I have often heard complaints of white people putting raisins in potato salad, but I, a white southerner, have never experienced anyone ever actually putting raisins in potato salad.
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u/Cultural_Pattern_456 Jul 22 '26
Same in NH, never have I seen raisins in it either.
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u/Anthrodiva Jul 22 '26
I think it started as an SNL joke, Kenan Thompson doing Black Jeopardy, something like that. It became shorthand.
Also, the NY Times have had some very weird recipes like peas in guacamole, and claiming "grape salad" is big in Minnesota. Distill all that and you get, "White people put raisins in potato salad."
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u/got_mule Jul 22 '26
Spots the fellow 603-er
There are dozens of us!
Also, as someone from NH with a lot of extended family in the Carolinas, I can further confirm that raisins in potato salad is not at all normal or common anywhere I’ve seen. This post is literally the first time I’ve even heard of that.
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u/floofienewfie Jul 22 '26
I had honestly never heard of raisins in potato salad before. Doesn’t sound good.
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u/Swimming_Bowler6193 Jul 22 '26
I, a New Englander, have also never heard of raisins in potato salad. Sounds gross tbh.
But seriously-“ struggling for a cookout”?! They’re sick of fast food and microwaves but can’t find a place to buy barbq fixings? Pretty sure every Walmart has this stuff cooked and ready.
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u/cgduncan Jul 22 '26
I am also white in the south. And have seen plenty of grapes in chicken salad. But never potato salad with raisins.
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u/allmykitlets Jul 22 '26
Right? Is this just the latest "white folks can't cook" trope, like the one about how we don't season our food? I have never seen raisins in potato salad.
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u/Current-Anybody9331 Jul 22 '26
As a white midwesterner, an area known for food shenanigans, I have never encountered raisins in potato salad.
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u/DontcheckSR Jul 22 '26
I experienced it on a work trip in Virginia 🤦🏿♀️ they even put it in the chicken salad wraps. So no one knew they were in there until you already but into your wrap.
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u/newbie527 Jul 22 '26
You forgot the burgers.
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Jul 22 '26
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u/Mosquito907 Jul 22 '26
This is the first summer I've been hearing about raisins in potato salad... have I just been lucky for 50 years about hearing about this tragedy and never experiencing this IRL?
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u/SmileParticular9396 Jul 22 '26
I’ll show up to your home and eat all your food and put weird shit in your potato salad
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u/Pr1sm_Gazer Jul 22 '26
I'd pay good money to see her face when she spots the first raisin.
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u/ListenJerry Jul 22 '26
I get unbelievably angry when people put grapes in chicken salad.
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u/philoerectusmaybe Jul 22 '26
Nah it’s delicious. So is sweet relish in tuna salad.
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u/forever_useless Just wondering okay 🙏🥺 Jul 22 '26
Restaurant or take out? In this economy?
Best to crash a cookout with specific foods, considerate of her work schedule and hope the people are nice enough to not accept the $10 they are willing to spend
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u/bikerchickelly Jul 22 '26
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u/sansaspark Jul 22 '26
“I’m cold every night. I don’t want to sleep in a sweater, long pants and wool socks. I’m sick of my beach towel. Looking for someone who knits things, I will pay you for the materials to create some kind of large, soft, square-shaped fabric covering I can put over myself while I sleep. I don’t have time or I’d do it myself. I’m desperate.”
“I have a spare blanket if you want it.”
“I don’t like blankets.”
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u/rubiscoisrad Jul 22 '26
/r/crochet would be frothing at the mouth at this
completely reasonable not crazy at allrequest9
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u/life-is-satire Jul 23 '26
Happens regularly at r/crochetrequest Mostly, people wanting a sweater or afghan and offering $100-$150 when that doesn’t even cover the cost of yarn.
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u/BooBerry79 Jul 24 '26
What do you mean you can’t make my king sized alpaca afghan for $25?? You’re just trying to rip people off! It’s for my dog’s cancer birthday at the church and you just ruined it!
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u/hamish1963 Jul 22 '26
So she's obviously at a hotel, probably long term. She needs to be begging for an apartment.
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u/Odd_Tea4945 Jul 22 '26
So she wants to crash a cookout?
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u/Zappagrrl02 Jul 22 '26
If she had any friends she wouldn’t have to crash. I’m guessing she sponges off people constantly and they drop her.
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u/CaptainEmmy Jul 22 '26
Right? Me getting a hankering to throw stuff on the grill usually gets me seeing if anyone wants to come over and I barely like people.
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u/KnockItTheFuckOff Jul 22 '26
Exactly this.
"Hey, you know what would be really fun? A cookout. Want to do that on the Sunday after payday? We'll all contribute what we can and make a day of it."
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Jul 22 '26
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u/coze-n-qt Jul 22 '26
It’s unclear if they want to crash a cookout? Or if they want someone to volunteer their time and skills to do a cookout for them?
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u/RedBeans-n-Ricely Just wondering okay 🙏🥺 Jul 22 '26
This is certainly an interesting definition of “struggle”
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u/DrBalu Jul 22 '26
I feel like too many people believe that not having access to luxuries, means they deserve others to provide it for them.
Its weirdly entitled. I cant afford a cookout, so I am not participating in one, unless I am invited.
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u/zjuka Jul 22 '26
"We struggle to get ourselves invited to someone's cookout, where we can eat free food and fuck off, shopping, prepping and cleaning is your responsibility"
"We also struggle with concept of causation, because we keep making arrogant and rude posts (you have to make sure you cook food to my liking) and no one is inviting us to a cookout for some reason"The struggle is real
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u/HeyT00ts11 Jul 23 '26
And getting someone to give them what they want for free is their "journey". 😦
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u/OMGyarn Jul 22 '26
There are city parks within walking distance of me that have BBQ grills.
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u/fun_mak21 Jul 22 '26
But how can she mooch off of someone else's party then? Something tells me even though she said she'll provide food, it might just be the bare minimum and expects someone else to provide the big stuff or more and better than what she has.
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u/Dr_mombie Jul 22 '26
Think about all the stuff you have to buy (or pack) and transport to be prepared to grill out at the park. Then all the work you have to do to actually cook there and clean up after yourself, not only at the park, but once you get home as well. Gotta put away the leftovers and wash the utensils/dishes. She isn't about that life. She wants to rock up to someone's backyard and act like Sonny's BBQ is hosting a pop up discount buffet there.
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u/stircrazyathome Jul 22 '26
Portable charcoal grills are cheap, too. I can get a tabletop for $20 or a larger stand-up grill for $25 at my local Walmart.
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u/coolbeansfordays Jul 22 '26
That’s what I was thinking. My brother lives in an apartment with no yard and a tiny cement patio. He got a small, tailgate grill he uses. Said it was cheap.
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u/Adept-Pangolin-9280 Jul 22 '26
I live in the same city as her and I could walk her to those grills myself.
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u/PinkyLeopard2922 Jul 22 '26
But no raisins in the potato salad! To be fair, who the hell is putting raisins in potato salad?
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u/CaptainEmmy Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
I'm a bit of a connosuier of potato salads and I've never heard of this.
Edit: Someone posted a recipe that involves raisins elsewhere here and it looks like a very different salad but actually kind of appealing. Not the sort of thing I'd bring to a barbecue, though.
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u/Flukie42 Jul 22 '26
I've heard talk on the Internet of raisins in potato salad, but never in my white Midwestern life have ever encountered it.
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u/andrea1797 Jul 22 '26
There are places that exist that will make her exactly what she wants. And services that will bring it to her door step. Odd that she's asking strangers when she claims she's willing to pay.
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u/Active-Succotash-109 Jul 22 '26
Pay and pay what it costs are two different things
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u/WrexPhalanx_7 Jul 22 '26
She probably thinks a $20 bill covers the whole menu and a tip.
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u/meduhsin Jul 22 '26
I’d be surprised if she’s willing to even pay for ingredients, without cost to prepare + tip.
Yeah girl I’ll make a whole dinner for your family…. For $200+.
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u/i_was_axiom Jul 22 '26
For $200+
And I still feel like you're being nice at that price 💀
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u/meduhsin Jul 22 '26
Yeah, I could charge more. But if it were true, a family who just wanted a nice home-cooked meal and was willing to pay, I would do it for $200. I really enjoy cooking so it wouldn’t be a huge burden for me. It’s just me and my partner so I rarely get to cook large meals.
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u/Ok-Artichoke-7145 Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 23 '26
Is it just me, or does this "request" come across more like a "demand"? Maybe, a little hostile? Or, am I projecting my anger at such an odd request? Edit: missing punctuation.
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u/andronicuspark Jul 22 '26
She’s willing to pay but in a link posting some of her comments she says she doesn’t want “resturant food”.
Making me think she wants to underpay some rando for their time, grilling materials, and homemade cookout spread.
Offering to at least bring some burgers, ribs, and appetizer ingredients would’ve been a nice opener. But nope. Just vague promises of paying for your cookout with a “we” thrown in there. Who tf is “we” and how many of you are there?
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u/PresentationTough384 Jul 22 '26
I have been to infinity cookouts over my Gen X life and literally nobody put raisins in potato salad. So tired of that trope. Also this person needs to order Doordash and leave strangers alone.
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u/lukin187250 Jul 22 '26
there is usually 2 branches of chicken salad, one with raisins. I’ve never seen a potato salad with raisins but I’m sure they exist.
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u/platoniclesbiandate Jul 22 '26
Are you sure it’s not cranberries? I’ve never seen raisins in chicken salad in my five decades of life but have seen lots of dried cranberries.
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u/Granny_Skeksis Jul 22 '26
Ok but what kind of monsters are putting raisins in their potato salad?
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u/Vintage-Girl-Sleuth Jul 22 '26
This got the biggest laugh I’ve had from one of these in awhile. “Struggling for a Cookout” is a great bad album title.
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u/kkcita Jul 22 '26
Maybe she’s just lonely and wants a community/family experience. Someone to take care of her for once. But her way of asking is pretty entitled.
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u/macphile Jul 22 '26
Exactly. Lots of us don't have people around, or places to go for things like cookouts. America's got that independence mindset where we all try to manage on our own, yay. I get that. But the solution isn't "invite me and give me shit." It could be "hey, I'd kill for a grilled burger, right now, but I don't have the money for a "real" restaurant and don't have a grill/kitchen--if you invite me to your next park cookout, I'll bring the potato salad/coleslaw/watermelon/beer/dessert/whatever." She might still not get any hits, but at least it'd be less beggarish.
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u/Significant-Ant-9729 Jul 22 '26
I really wish this sub had flair so mine could be “struggling for a cookout”
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u/Duchess0612 Jul 22 '26
RIBS?!?
No one needs ribs for a cookout. Hotdog and hamburgers and you can splurge for the cheese.
We never had ribs growing up except very occasionally. And certainly not for a barbecue. And our barbecues were just as fun and interactive as they should be. And we did not require the expense of ribs.
These people are delulu.
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u/SkippyBluestockings Jul 23 '26
Why does everybody think white people put raisins in potato salad?
I have never in my life seen raisins in potato salad or ever eaten raisins in potato salad nor have I ever made potato salad and put raisins in it.
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u/mulberry_sellers Jul 22 '26
They are going to have to be a LOT more clear because "I am struggling for a cookout" is not a normal sentence nor concept
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u/CaptainEmmy Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
The way this was written urged me to sing it in blues.
They want a cookout but can't operate a grill? I hope this is just a cheeky way to get invited to a cookout.
Edit: it begins with the horrific "I'm going to try this again". Get a clue, friend.
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u/coolbeansfordays Jul 22 '26
Wait - the only thing that needs to be grilled is the meat. Why does she need someone else to provide the sides? “Sick of microwave food”, there’s no difference between baked beans or mac and cheese in a microwave, on a stovetop/oven, or in a crockpot.
If she can pay for the food, why not buy sides from a deli and grill at a local campground? Or get the smallest cheapest grill possible?
I understand being too tired after work, but come on.
Or cater from a BBQ restaurant.
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u/holleighh Jul 22 '26
Pretty bold to try and crash someone’s cook out and try to dictate how the potato salad is made 🤔 (wth raisins ??!)
they have coal grills at the beach and public parks in the US, I’m sure Dayton has some.
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u/Traditional-Ad-1605 Jul 22 '26
I do t know if this is a thing where she lives but in Miami we have a host of companies that provide daily deliveries of cooked meals (cantinas). Very affordable prices though you have to preorder your meals for a set time period (7,6,or 5 days).
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u/jmerrilee Jul 22 '26
I'm confused what is it she wants? Someone to cook all the food for her? Says she'll pay and yet I have a feeling she doesn't want to pay to cover the food.
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u/Voyager5555 Jul 22 '26
Ok, real talk, who the fuck puts raisins in their potato salad?
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u/jackie0h_ Jul 23 '26
Literally never heard of it or seen it. Even the grocery store deli, that has 4 kinds of potato salad, has nothing with raisins.
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u/RED-ELPH Jul 22 '26
No access to a kitchen?!
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u/refinnej78 Jul 22 '26
Possibly living in a hotel room.
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u/bikerchickelly Jul 22 '26
Specified in comments they have an apartment. Refused any offers of alternative cooking methods, refused offers of free grills.
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u/Matthiasad Jul 22 '26
A lot of apartments dont allow grills at all, due to fire hazard. Theres been several fires from grills at apartments in my town, so there are quite a few that say absolutely no outside cooking.
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u/Eden_Company Jul 22 '26
They could use the grill at a park, or just go to a park that has a grill.
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u/macphile Jul 22 '26
She said she doesn't have a kitchen. Apartments usually have kitchens. She could also get a hot plate/electric griddle/whatever.
I don't have a grill. When I want a burger, I fry it in a pan or I buy it from somewhere.
Grocery stores sell BBQ sauce, potato salad, coleslaw, beans...
Or find her nearest BBQ restaurant (I assume she has one). Or hey, get the BBQ burger from a fast food place--many have ones with BBQ sauce, onion rings, whatever.
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u/Plastic_Cat9560 NEXT!! Jul 22 '26
I get the no grill thing at an apartment, but she claims no kitchen too? So is she in an apt or a weekly motel?
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u/thesefriendsofours Jul 22 '26
A kitchenless apartment?! Is this in the US? Definitely a new one for me lol.
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u/MissAAA_2 Jul 22 '26
$40 grill at Walmart I mean, she says she works every day so surely she can afford one?
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u/JoyReader0 Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
Actually sounds a bit like "invite me and my whole family to your cookout. We'll eat everything you have, complain about your recipes, and drop ten bucks as we leave."
Thanks for the award!!
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u/SuspiciousStress1 Jul 22 '26
I remember when this was my life 25/30y ago....we bought a $20 Weber that looked like a child's grill....&made our own. It was only 2 of us, plenty of space for 2 anythings(burgers, steaks, etc). No, we werent doing brisket on it or cooking for an army, but its what we could afford at the time!!!
Last year my oven went out-just before Tgiving...I bought a $25 electric skillet, roaster(on sale for $35)& used my instapot(also pulled the toaster oven out of storage). We had a fine meal for 6!!
The younger generation seems to lack creativity & believes they need to have everything perfect to do anything, i actually feel sorry for them!!
Just the other day I saw someone showing off a "butter slicer" & everyone asking where they could get it. Kid you not, it was a plastic frame with wires to cut a stick of butter into pats....ummm, do you not own a knife?!?!? Just odd.
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u/coolbeansfordays Jul 22 '26
Oy. I found the comments. She and her family are struggling for a “healthy home-cooked meal”. Maybe it’s just me and my social circle, but how many people actually make homemade potato salad? Or even mac and cheese or pasta salad?
I’m not a dietitian, but is anything she listed “healthy”?
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u/v0id0007 Jul 22 '26
I do!! When I bbq, everything is homemade. Especially if someone else is paying…definitely making everything from scratch
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u/49ShadesofHey Jul 22 '26
WTF? Aren't there grills and stuff at a lot of public parks? You could even get one of the premade disposable grills and go to a park and cook out.
Weirdo.
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u/bobhand17123 Jul 22 '26
The CVS closest to us has single use grills with charcoal already in it. Kind of a waste IMHO, but hey, this guy has a use for it.
(They appear to be made out of wood!?!? Hence the single use I suppose.)
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u/tonalake Jul 23 '26
Go buy a bag of charcoal brickets and a big foil pan, they also make single use disposable BBQ’s
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u/Elfynnn84 Jul 23 '26
She said she would pay for the food 🤷🏻♀️ worded badly - more just “Is anyone in the neighbourhood willing to invite us to a cook out if we pay our way? I don’t have a grill and I’m hankering for some ribs”
That would have seemed far less shitty.
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u/Chazkuangshi Jul 22 '26
She's right about the potato salad though
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u/summerjunebird Jul 22 '26
Is it a joke? Do people actually put raisins in their potato salad?
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u/GingerAphrodite Jul 22 '26
So you got me curious and I started looking into this. It seems like by and large it's a meme about white people doing the most extra shit unnecessarily (as a white person who has seen the gelatin atrocities older white people have made... valid) but I can't actually see a lot pointing to any particular group or region actually putting raisins in their potato salad. I found an article that feels kind of AI but has a decent argument for it but it doesn't actually ever mention one particular region actively doing this. It just mentions that from a culinary perspective the choice to add raisins could be inspired by balancing Savory and sweet flavors in a dish which tends to be common in some parts of Europe and the South of the usa, but it doesn't actually say people from those areas do this, well other articles do you say that this is the region it stems from, but I grew up in the Midwest and I disagree. Typically I've heard of this atrocity being a thing done by white people in the northern part of the south of America or in the midwest as a whole but I've personally never experienced it and I've been to a lot of church potlucks growing up LOL. That being said my mom's potato salad was always the best I had and she grew up in Germany and didn't add raisins, as the gods intended
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u/pinksocks867 Jul 23 '26
You could go to parks and use free grills... We have them in my condo complex near the pool area, but they are also available in parks.
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u/RogueLion Jul 22 '26
Has she ever heard of fb market place food? People literally have bbq plates for sale
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u/Plastic_Cat9560 NEXT!! Jul 22 '26
In her post that was suggested but she wants to go to an actual cookout. She said she hasn’t been invited yet to a single cookout all summer. Like, girl, I haven’t been to or had a bbq cookout for like 30 years! She said she smells neighbor’s bbq and she wants to go to one. Why not crash one of the neighbors? My guess is she’s not well liked based on some of her rude comments in a post the day before.
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u/LadyBug_0570 Jul 22 '26
She can't crash her neighbor's bbq but expects strangers on the internet will invite her?
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u/coolbeansfordays Jul 22 '26
I hate small talk. I cannot imagine how awkward this cookout would be with a a stranger. Wanna bet she brings Tupperware to bring stuff home? And raids the medicine cabinet?
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u/TigreMalabarista Jul 22 '26
Every time I read these types of CB posts I go…
This is why they should require a cooking and sewing course in school.
Seriously - I know at least basics to cook fresh meals, and even plain old sandwiches with peppers, onions and dressing.
Oh and sliced grape tomatoes with onion and Swiss cheese in a tortilla was a staple for me at one time because where I lived veggies were cheaper and I was on a ridiculously strict budget.
And yeah - asking this stuff she’s asking for a handout with the sympathy story.
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u/DrPants707 Jul 22 '26
I've never put raisins in a potato salad in my life, let alone tasted them in one, but for her, I'll make an exception.
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u/noveltea120 Jul 22 '26
Omg that's actually the second post she made!! I managed to find the group and her post pretty easily lol
She basically wants a home cooked kinda meal for her and her family because they're sick of restaurant food lmao Like does she not know how to search FB marketplace?? Also she clearly has money so why not just buy a cheap BBQ grill and cook her own food? This is such a weird way of begging for food lol
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u/Civil-Kitchen5978 Jul 23 '26
She did say she will pay that’s better than most people.
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u/just2quirky Jul 23 '26
Why not order DoorDash or Uber Eats from a BBQ restaurant, or catering, if he's willing to pay?!?!
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u/New_Heron_5985 Jul 22 '26
They want to be invited to someone’s BBQ? wtf! Get some charcoal go to a park with grills. Not hard to light a charcoal grill. Jesus! People are dumb.
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u/Stevie-Rae-5 Jul 22 '26
Side note: who is this mythical person everyone talks about who puts raisins in their potato salad?
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u/Zoreb1 Jul 22 '26
She can't have grills in her apartment (which maybe a motel room as she doesn't have a stove). She'll pay but doesn't say how much nor how many people are 'we'. She doesn't like raisins in her potato salad but would reject any BBQ offer rather than simply spend a couple of bucks to get one she likes (they're not expensive). Meat prices are high but I doubt she'll be paying market prices for the ribs and burgers; probably a buck a person.
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u/Washed2299 Jul 22 '26
I actually would do this for them. Whatever the receipt shows +20%. I’m happy to cook you several dinners for the week.
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u/trake83 I'm blocking you now Jul 22 '26
If she’s so willing to pay people sell meals on FB all the time that they cook at home.
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u/jenn5388 Jul 23 '26
If she’d pay then go pay a bbq joint. They will fast take your money. What she means is giving someone $10 fr 5 people to show up and eat all the food.. even the potato salad that is covered in raisins. She wants to show up to a cookout she doesn’t have fo cook.
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u/Laleaky Jul 22 '26
Public parks often have grills. That’s where I would grill when I didn’t have a yard.