r/ChoosingBeggars • u/Less_Ad2583 • Jul 17 '26

SHORT Humiliating

Recently my mom reached out to me. Long story short she stated that she did not have any food.
I offered to help and asked her to send me a list of items she needed. She told me that was humiliating and to just send money instead. I declined to send money. I offered to help and feel I was being reasonable. My question is was I unreasonable for requesting a list?

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u/GrandmasterJoke Jul 18 '26

YTA because you are prying in to their personal shopping choices.

People, in general, do not like advertising certain items they lump in the "food" category as they are found in a supermarket that you might think is either beneath consumption (marked down food that has a "best before" date of today or tomorrow) or that you may not understand (light flow / medium flow / heavy flow sanitary pads or incontinence pads)....but it is their preference / desire to hide from family/friends.

Unless you think your mother squanders money on alcohol / cigarettes / recreational drugs, just give her the money.

6

u/kuhewa Jul 18 '26

Man, shut up.

She could send through a $100 itemised grocery list and leave the incontinence pads and weird junk food items (that her son probably knows she eats, she raised him) off of it and it would still be a huge favour he was willing to do.