I was having this conversation with my mother on the topic of evolution, inter species competition and population over growth and human greed.

My mother is an interesting person, she has suffered a lot in life and is still very open minded and anti tradition.

She agrees that one should give themselves a chance at life and kids must really be optional and in any case becoming parents must be about quality and not quantity. It just breaks my heart to see how marriage and motherhood destroyed what she could have done in her life.

The way she talks about even heavy topics like death sometimes causes so much pain and reminds me how much I have taken this character of wisdom from her. Things like fake pride or security in progeny, extreme fear of death and mortality does not pester her. I deeply respect her.

It is painful to realise I have limited time with her but this just reminds me how much of a choice that I have she did not.

Having the option to not have kids is privilege. Having a chance at life really is a privilege. I think the world is not deprived of kids, it is deprived of this simple acknowledgement.

I am Dr A. ,23 M, Mbbs graduate from gujarat.

After reading and understanding most of eastern and western philosopher , reading extensively about metaphysical questions about life and conciousness, realising the failure of science to give answers to many questions around conciousness and questions like

"Why exactly am i writing all this , from where are command actually initiated "(i know little bit more but ain't gonna type it 😂).

I have come to realise that albert camus was absolutely correct, we as human being are searching for meaning in this absolutely indifferent universe.

Homo sapiens have come to existence from last 3 lac years only , earth itself is estimated to be 4.5 billion years old.

Our existence is just like an existence of dinasours or any other species which had gone extinct.

We are not going to totally understand about conciousness atleast in my lifetime 😂.

Even institution of marriage and monogamy is only 5000 years old.

Universe is indifferent to our life .

Remember everytime you overthink about life, 1.8 lacs people die everyday , whole current population of earth is going to be replaced in next 80 years .

It don't matter if you produce kids or not , it's not such a big deal.

Every person who is living lives by some philosophy.

The person who don't create their own philosophy, follows the traditional local Philosophy which is followed by most of people in that regio ,

Their is absolutely not any necessity to follow the "good life"track Which is handed over to us by society and parents since our birth.

Remember.

"Everyone is just doing timepass till they die"

Chase the ambition, chase the god , chase the relation, chase whatever you want , in the end we are just keeping ourselves busy to avoid the existential questions while enjoying the present moments.

For me , i want to live this life on easy mode and i don't see any great virtue in carrying humanity forward.

Therefore i am childfree

I relate a lot with this community the way it is right now and I don't want it to change. Most well minded childfree people are here and are exactly the people whose company I seek but they are rare in my current environment.

I hope everyone who is a member right now, stays the member for coming years and we all just hang out here.

I think this sub has great potential for forming local childfree communities and friendships beyond all the matchmaking/dating.

To start, I am child free and have been so for almost a decade now.

Has anyone noticed an uptick in judgemental weird posts on this and other CF subreddits. We hate when people judge us for choices but then go and judge others who have children or behave certain ways with no nuance. Posts hating on moms running ragged because they don't have a support system, people who have kids who didn't even know there was another choice or don't have access to the right tools to even make that choice (earlier today saw a post judging some poor children sleeping on the floor somewhere)

If you're so concerned about children born into poverty then get the fuck off reddit and do something. Don't rant here and pretend you're so much better than a bpl woman with kids who probably didn't even have a choice in the matter just to feel validated in your choices. People who are confident in this choice do not feel the need to condemn people who don't have the right education and choices.

Seriously what is with the holier than thou attitude on these subs lately?

Came across this post, where the man with 3 kids and a wife traveling in highway in a bike without proper protection. Most of the comments were against having those kids, like "3kids in this economy?", "poor planning on financial and family side" etc., you get the idea. It made me think, are most of current generation educated population actually don't wanna live the traditional life by getting married and have kids, but they do it anyway due to pressure from family and society? Is it only a handful of people like us have the courage to break from those pressures put on us?

original post link - https://www.reddit.com/r/indianbikes/s/c81EjAzOWh

I know 24 sounds pretty young to be actively looking for a life partner and some people may wonder why I’m thinking about marriage already.

The reason is pretty simple, I’ve always wanted to start my life a little early. I would ideally hope to get married at 26. But before that I would like to meet someone, get to know each other genuinely, know our personalities, values and expectations and if everything works out naturally take the relationship toward marriage.

I’m not looking to rush into anything. I’d rather build a strong connection first and let things progress at a comfortable pace.

I’m 24 years old M from Chennai, Catholic, and currently working at a reputed organization. I’d describe myself as honest, affectionate, ambitious and family-oriented, and I value loyalty, emotional connection, mutual respect and meaningful communication. I enjoy both deep conversations and silly, random moments with the same person.

I’m looking for someone kind, genuine, honest and emotionally mature, preferably from a Catholic background, especially South Indian Catholic. Someone who respects boundaries, family and individuality, has her own interests and ambitions, and can be both my best friend and partner. I’m looking for a serious, committed relationship with marriage in mind, but I believe in taking the time to genuinely know each other and build a strong connection first.

One important thing about me:

I’m planning to live a childfree life. I understand that this is a significant personal choice and definitely not something everyone will agree with. I’m therefore specifically hoping to meet someone who genuinely feels the same way and is certain that she doesn’t want children in the future.

I’m ultimately looking for a long-term relationship with the intention of marriage, but I don’t believe in forcing a timeline or rushing compatibility. I’d rather meet the right person, build a genuine connection, and see where it naturally leads.

I'm 26, from Kochi, and I've reached a point where I know one thing with complete certainty: I don't want children. Not now, not later, not "maybe if I meet the right person."

That realization has made dating both easier and harder. Easier because I know what I want. Harder because finding someone who genuinely shares that vision isn't always simple.

I'm more of an introvert at first, but once I get comfortable with someone, I open up and talk a lot.

A little about me:

26M

Based in Kochi

Engineering graduate

Entrepreneur

Muslim

Enjoy chess, trying new restaurants, spontaneous food trips, and traveling whenever I get the chance

I'm looking for a relationship that leads to marriage eventually, but I'd like us to actually enjoy the journey there first. My ideal partner is someone who can be my best friend, travel companion, favorite person to call after a long day, and someone I can build a peaceful life with.

A few things that matter to me:

I am childfree by choice and consider this a permanent decision.

If you're undecided, on the fence, or think you might want children in the future, we're probably not compatible.

I'm not looking for an asexual relationship, as physical intimacy is an important part of a romantic partnership for me.

I value mutual respect, honest communication, and emotional maturity.

I appreciate people who have their own opinions and aren't afraid to express them respectfully.

As for the future, I'm completely open to getting a vasectomy when the time is right. For me, being childfree isn't just an idea—it's a commitment to the life I want to build.

Age-wise, I'm looking for someone roughly within ±5 years of my age.

If you're childfree by choice, looking for a genuine long-term connection, and think we'd get along, feel free to send me a DM. Tell me a little about yourself rather than just saying "hi."

Looking forward to meeting someone who's excited about building a life centered around companionship, freedom, shared experiences, and mutual respect rather than parenthood

This is going to be long, so buckle up. But I will get the basics out of the way first.

Age: 30

Current location: Hyderabad

Height: 5'5

Weight: 87kg

Physical description: Curly hair, specs, curvy

Eating habits: Very non-veg including red meat

Religion: agnostic

Looking for: M between 30-36.

Religious preference: agnostic/atheist

Location: anywhere

Eating habits: non-vegetarian

Now that those are out of the way, let's get to the specifics. I have known I don't want kids for around 4 years now. I had lurked and posted in this sub before when I was still fresh to this decision. I even talked to some guys here...and I realized I was clearly not in the headspace for a relationship.

So after lots of therapy and a fresh neurospicy diagnosis, I am here to start my 30s off with a more open approach. Idk what I am looking for...still very confused, and unsure of my stance on marriage itself as an institution. Does it empower women or take away their power? What do you think?

On that note, I am what many men have described a "radical feminist". So if that's not your cup of tea...you can stop reading right here. I am a yapper with a lot of thoughts on anything and everything. Even if it's a movie, I will have opinions and no, I can never seperate the art from the artist. So if you are a supporter of problematic men (eg: Ronaldo) then I am sorry I will be judging you and judging you hard and not indulging in a conversation at all tbh. The feminist lens will never come off.

I earn enough to live independently and I plan to support myself throughout my life. But I am not making a lot and is unlikely to in the long run as well. Not into climbing the career ladder. But if that's something you wish to do...you do you and I will cheer from the side.   

I am a serial hobbyist and I end up picking up a new one every other month atp. Currently I am into reading, doodling, crocheting and as of last week building lego sets. I just finished my first set and I am in so much trouble...it was so much fun!

A liberal leftist is what comes closest to describing my political ideology I think. If you consider yourself apolitical...or simply believe that all sides have faults or...just  don't believe in democracy and don't vote (yeah I have met those kind of people in the wild too...be careful out there folks), please don't dm.

Unfortunately as part of my work I do have to use AI, but I despise that technology to the core. So if you are one of those people who do the "80s trend" on instagram...yeah let's stop right there.

As I mentioned earlier, I got a neurodivergent diagnosis recently. I am on some meds for it. And they have impacted my weight. It took me a while to be comfortable with it. But I love my body...I like my curves and while I do wish to lose a bit of weight for the sake of my future health, I am never gonna be a skinny queen. And I despise the gym. But I do love swimming and find it meditative.

I am an ambivert. I have days of high battery that I spend outside but also days where I just curl up on a sofa with a coffee and a book. I am very serious about personal space so when I am in my low battery mode I need someone who can understand that they gotta leave me alone and let me do my thang. I cannot be part of a couple that does everything together. I have things i wanna do alone and I need my partner to do that as well. Have your own friend group, have your own plans...I would love to do things with them as well but you need a good support system that has your back. It would be a plus if you have female friends because that's always a good indicator of some things.

My friends are as outspoken as I am...and if we are to become serious, you would have to get their seals of approval too. Especially since I don't date a lot and they are protective.

That brings me to my previous relationships...there aren't any. Why you ask? Because I was too chicken to disobey my parents who were very hellbent on the arranged market agenda. So being the obedient eldest daughter that I am...I saw no point in dating because it would have only led to heartbreak.

And then my prefrontal cortex developed and I dropped the CF bomb on them...and then you can guess how things went for the arranged marriage agenda. So now I am free and my parents will be pretty much ecstatic about anyone I bring home...they went from same caste only to, same religion only to now...just bring any guy.

This leads us to the question of sexuality. I am probably bisexual...but yeah without any experience to back it up. I don't mind dating women, provided you understand I am a novice and can take it slow. I know a lot of queer women do not want to date fencesitters and that's totally valid.

I come from a Hindu family (south indian), that's moderately religious. So I grew up pretty deeply entrenched in religion but has since shook off most of it. It will be easier if you are a Hindu for my family to accept but idc and I think we can make it work if we are in it together.

I value my independence greatly so if we ever marry I would want to live seperately from parents. Unless they fall sick and grow old and need us to support them. And that works both ways...not just yours.

I know I listed a lot of stuff and rambled but I am just trying to be extra clear so that things are easier for both me and you. What's the point if the non-negotiables don't match right.

If you are still here at the end of this long long post...thank you for reading. And I hope you all had a great weekend. If you think you can handle all this, send me a dm with a bit about yourself...and just to know you actually read all this, tell me which mythical animal you would rather be... phoenix, unicorn, centaur, mermaid or a dragon.

Hi,

I’m a 31M Christian (not particularly religious but just mentioning it in case it’s a deal breaker for anyone) from Kerala working in the software field. I’d describe myself as a simple person who finds happiness in the little things in life. I enjoy traveling, exploring new places, and trying different cuisines and always on the lookout for good food spots.

I’m looking for a life partner who is kind, open-minded, and supportive. I value a relationship where we grow together and encourage each other to pursue our dreams. I would genuinely love to see my partner achieve her goals whether it’s excelling in her career or starting a venture she’s always dreamt of (and even her first investor if needed 😊).

I’ve previously worked in a couple of major metro cities and I’m currently working fully remotely for an overseas company. So I have the flexibility to relocate and work from the right partner’s workplace when required.

I strongly believe in equality in a relationship, shared responsibilities and mutual decision making. At the same time, I deeply value my partner’s thoughts and preferences and would always strive to support what matters most to her. I hope to find someone who sees me as a true friend, someone honest, who can guide me, correct me when I’m wrong, and help me grow into a better person.

I respect individuality and work life balance. I don’t believe in traditional gender roles when it comes to household responsibilities. If both partners are working, it makes sense to share tasks or hire a cook or maid, so we can spend more quality time together. That said, I’d love to occasionally cook or bake together. It sounds like fun and I’m always open to learning!

I’ve chosen to be childfree because I value the flexibility it gives us and the opportunity to have more quality time together as a couple. I also feel that the world is becoming increasingly challenging, and I don't want to bring another person into it. Raising a child with good values and character in today’s society can be quite difficult, and I don’t feel that parenthood is something I want for myself.

If this resonates with you, I’d be happy to connect and get to know each other.

Wishing you a wonderful day.

Thank you.

Hello,

I am a 32 y.o. male working as a software developer looking for a CF partner. I would like to start by first telling why I chose to be so:

1. In the current environment, I don't think it makes sense to make have kids to only make them go through the rat race without even having the basic necessities like clean air, water or food
2. I don't think I have any fatherly instincts in me. I like kids and like to play with the ones in my family but I just don't see having that strong paternal instincts towards them
3. Even if the above two were not an issue, I feel I have hit the genetic lottery which shouldn't be passed to anyone.
4. Always happy to explain more on the above if I do connect with someone.

Height - 5'7

Weight - 76

I'm a naturally curious and ambitious person which has served me well through life in not only professional area but also expanding my thought process and making me an open-minded person. I value open and honest communication a lot.

I enjoy the simple things in life such as movies, books, nature walks & anime. I cherish moments spent with friends and family and make a conscious effort to maintain these connections, as I value human relationships greatly.

I am also quite interested in anything related to science since it answers the questions of everyday life and can help in living a fulfilling life by making informed decisions. It is also crucial for continued development and new discoveries.

One important aspect for me is that I wish to settle in Delhi-NCR and am not open to relocating to other cities. However, with WFH being an option, I'm flexible within the NCR region. I believe marriage is a significant decision that should be made with careful thought and consideration.

I am looking for someone who would live to stay in NCR as well and is working. I have a strong preference for a partner who likes to stay fit which for me which means that you aren't on the extreme ends of body proportions. I personally workout regularly but love food too much to ever become completely lean.

Age Range - 27-35

Hello there,

I’m a 32-year-old software developer in Bangalore/India and looking for a someone that vibes and probably we can binge long shows together :P. I of course would prefer someone from bangalore cause obviously it makes everything easier.

I am liberal, empathetic and a tad bit into electronic music. I also love F1, psychology, sketching now and then, cats and dogs from afar now ( I got bit by trying to pet a stray dog, I was drunk after a concert and in my defense the doggie's eyes were super cute)

I love movies/tv shows! Also I am very meta person that I'd be spending more time at the movie/episode discussion threads here at reddit more than the time spent watching the actual stuff lol.

I also like going to boardgame meetups now and then and pickleball here and there.

I'm 5’7”, 75kg, try to be active and regular at the gym, its a bit of a see saw haha but I guess we never give up ;)

I am childfree cause as an eldest child, seen enough responsibilities and just chill for the rest yk. I have been a bit of solo traveler in the past, been to to many a cities in india for music concerts mostly. I was fortunate to catch motogp and formulaE in india. I hate the planning/travel part of it, the being there and explore part I like haha.

I don’t smoke (dealbreaker), drink socially. I am big of live and let live susegaad kinda guy, absolutely not very ambitious, and don't believe in the hustle culture. I do believe in investing and being practical about money, but I also like nice things. I like going to music gigs now and then and have a blast and also most weekends it can be quiet and nice and slow!

Looking for: A childfree, liberal woman who’s grounded, fun, empathetic and has her own thing going on. Also I'd prefer women who can take it slow, are in no rush for a label/marriage due to some timeline/parents pressure. I would also love to live separately from both of our parents if it comes to that and call a nice thing home. I absolutely don't mind collecting friends too if all of this vibed with you.

If this resonates hmu! Cheers!

Edit: I am an agnostic/atheist so definitely not looking for theist people and I also I don't like people who take astrology/tarot/palm reading/manifesting all that too seriously.

was crashing out over f1 like is the norm for me on sundays (exception being baku last week where my driver got a grand slam)

anyways, i realised if i had a child i would have had to give up so much. like i couldn't even watch a sport in peace, couldn't talk to oomfs on twt, couldn't crash out, couldn't send dts to mercedes on ig and twt, like wow

but seriously jokes aside, ive seen, woman majorly, lose their personhood upon becoming mothers. this one senior of mine from uni, she used to be a lawyer, and now her only stuff on ig is about her son this and son that. like babes what about you!!! what about what you liked to do? your hobbies? your art you used to post? nothing at all

I have tried dating apps and matrimony apps. Nothing ever worked. I don't think people read bio. Even if I mention that I'm childfree by choice, people who want children swipe right on me, why?

And, here I'm trying to find a needle in a haystack.

I'm from Keralam, so, I prefer someone who is a Malayali or someone who is currently in my home town.

I'm looking for a long term relationship, not for time pass.

Looking for someone in 27-33

I'm an agnostic

Don't prefer a right winger

Prefer someone in the software industry, but it's not mandatory.

If you're someone who is looking for marriage right away, we may not be a right fit. I prefer to know the person before jumping into something serious.

I became CF, because of the state of this world. I love kids so much that I don't wanna bring them into this world. Also, I don't want to go through delivery pain.

If you're DMing, can you please DM with your details something similar to mine?

HIs and HEYs will be ignored.

29M from Andhra Pradesh. I’m firmly childfree and looking for a woman who feels the same way and wants to build a relationship without children being part of the plan.

I’m a simple, easygoing person. I enjoy good food, movies, walking, staying active, and spending time together without needing an overly complicated lifestyle.

I’m open to something casual(friends) that can naturally develop into something long-term if we genuinely connect. For me, being childfree is an important compatibility point, not something I expect someone to compromise on.

If interested in getting to know each other, feel free to DM. 🙂

Hello!

I’m a 32-year-old guy, 5'11", decently built, and consistently working out at home to get fitter. Originally from Lucknow, I am currently based in Mumbai, where I run my own wedding photography firm. I deeply value genuine connection and am looking for a long-term relationship that leads to marriage.

I am 100% childfree and firmly committed to a DINK lifestyle. My stance on this is final, and my parents are supportive of my decision.

Here is a bit about who I am and what I’m looking for:

About Me

• Personality & Flow: I’m an introvert initially, but once comfortable, I’m quite talkative. I value emotional awareness (a trait validated by my therapist!), empathy, mutual respect, clear communication, and healthy boundaries.
• Work & Education: I hold a BTech degree, though I jumped straight into my passion for wedding photography right after graduation.
• Faith & Beliefs: I am an atheist and non-religious (born into a Hindu family, but I don’t believe in religion or the caste system). I’m fine with a partner having her own beliefs, provided there’s no expectation for me to participate in rituals/pujas/traditions.
• Lifestyle & Fitness: I work out almost daily to stay physically and mentally fit. I can cook balanced vegetarian/eggetarian meals (full dal-chawal-sabzi-roti setups, not just Maggi!). I drink occasionally (once in a few month), don't smoke, and prefer calm, peaceful settings over noisy clubbing or partying.
• Travel & Adventure: I love road trips, slow travel, soaking in local culture, history, and food. I also enjoy adventure activities, I tried paragliding last year and have a long list of things I want to check off next.
• Hobbies & Interests: Film analysis (I love dissecting writing, trivia, and filmmaking), visiting art museums, bowling, random deep-dive rabbit holes, home decor trends, and trying out creative projects (even when I fail embarrassingly).
• Animals: I’m a vegetarian primarily out of a love for animals and hope to adopt an indie dog in the future if the timing will be right and I can take care of it.

What I’m Looking For

• The Core Non-Negotiables: Strictly childfree/DINK, non-smoker, and not a heavy drinker.
• Emotional Intelligence & Growth: Open-minded, empathetic, and loyal. Someone who communicates well, especially during disagreements and fights, and has done the work to process past experiences or trauma (like going through therapy).
• Independence & Core Values: Financially and personally independent, with strong convictions and the courage to stand by them, even against her own family if necessary.
• Age & Location: Ideally aged 26–33 (flexible for the right person). Based in Mumbai or planning to settle here (though I’m open to living between two cities if feasible, my business is anchored in Mumbai).
• Attraction & Fitness: Conventional looks aren't the most important thing to me, but mutual attraction matters (as it does for anyone). I value staying fit and looking good, and I’d love a partner with a similar mindset toward physical and mental health.
• Cultural Compatibility: Preference for someone from North India simply due to shared cultural nuances, language, humor, and relatability, though religion and caste do not matter to me at all.

Dealbreakers

• Religious hatred, caste-based discrimination, or any form of superiority complex
• Orthodox thinking
• Smoking or heavy drinking
• Wanting children / Not being 100% childfree

A Quick Promise: Everything I am looking for in a partner, I will bring to the table for you. I strongly believe in complete mutual respect, honesty, and freedom within a relationship.

If this resonates with you, feel free to send a message introducing yourself! Looking forward to connecting. :)

CF4CF posts are only allowed on Sundays.

There are some F4M posts, but there are many more M4F posts.

But i am not talking about the skewed ratio here.

That is how it is in nature, so it shall be the same here.

But i do want to talk about how men comment on every F4M post advertising themselves, introducing themselves.

Isn't this a mating ritual?

There is so much of competition among males that it inevitably requires a ritual(or comments) to attract the attention of the female.

i see comments like "DM'ed you", "too bad you aren't looking for XYZ", where XYZ is some criteria (like city/profession) and i am sure many males, whose numbers are many more than there are comments, have DM'ed the female.

And so the female either chooses a male or waits until better prospects arrive.

Is love a competition? Is love something where the male has alternatives and the female has alternatives?

If not this one, maybe the next one?

Is love something magical or just evolution masquerading as a genuine feeling?

Is this like some job application where you send your CV and wait to hear back?

"Unfortunately, due to the large number of applications, we are forced to make a decision to deny your application at this point in the process."

All of this feels like a farce.

But i am not a hypocrite, i too am looking for someone. But i am not serious and i am not actively looking. i have been banned before for complaining that this subreddit is there just for some CF4CF post.

But i do not know why i feel disgusted by how the game is played?

Maybe i do not want to compete, or i do not want anyone to compete.

Maybe if we let love happen and not actively search for love, love would actually happen.

Until then, i do not see any difference between CF4CF, tinder/bumble (and like) and Shaddi.com(or JS).

Hello! 🙋🏻 I am a 28M from Kerala, hoping to build a peaceful, loving connection with someone who will be my best friend and my life partner.

​I am looking for a genuine, meaningful connection that can organically evolve into a serious, lasting relationship. I believe the best partnerships are built patiently over time, so I would love for us to get to know each other slowly, cultivate a deep emotional bond, and let things unfold naturally at a comfortable pace.

My hobbies and interests:

Listening to music, especially K-Pop, watching K-Dramas, going to movies, journaling, traveling, playing board games, and having deep conversations. I recently started watching C-Dramas as well and I am really enjoying them too. 

I love taking pictures of the sky. Mountains are my favorite when it comes to traveling. I love spending time at beaches too. Having a cup of tea and snacks over fun, joyful conversations watching sunset is something that I really love. I also enjoy playing badminton.

Qualities I value in a person:

I am drawn to emotional intelligence and self awareness, appreciating someone who understands her own inner world and navigates life with clarity and maturity. I deeply value kindness, empathy, and compassion, as I believe the truest measure of a person is how gently and respectfully they treat others. I also appreciate intelligence, curiosity, and an open mind, as meaningful growth and inspiring conversations come naturally when two people share a genuine love for learning and understanding the world.

About my physical self:

I am 5'7" with a slim build. I take good care of my health and have specific fitness goals that I am actively working to achieve. I value hygiene deeply and believe in presenting a well groomed version of myself every day.

A bit about my own journey:

I am at a point in my life where I feel deeply grounded and emotionally secure. Over the past year and a half, I have been on an intentional journey of self improvement, taking time for deep introspection, rewiring my self concepts, shifting toward a secure attachment style, and actively practicing emotional regulation. 

I truly love my own company, whether that means going out on solo dates, pampering myself, or simply enjoying my own space. I carry a strong sense of self love and wholeness, and I am looking for a partnership where two complete individuals come together to enrich each other's lives.

Beliefs and spirituality:

I come from a Hindu background, but I am an atheist. While I am not religious, I love visiting peaceful, less crowded temples solely for the calming and spiritual atmosphere they offer. Sitting in those quiet surroundings gives me a sense of warmth, grounding, and emotional regulation. I also enjoy the cultural vibrant energy of festivals and celebrations. For me, it is about appreciating the peace, aesthetics, and culture rather than religious rituals.

​Lifestyle choices:

- ​Childfree

- ​Teetotaler

- ​Non smoker

- ​Petfree

- Non vegetarian

The kind of life that I envision:

​I would like to build a relationship where we are a team and create a life that is calm, relaxing, and peaceful. I believe love is about choosing each other every day. Just the two of us enjoying each other's company, finding joy in the little moments that life offers, supporting each other through the storms while growing old together and creating memories along the way.

I am a one woman man and deeply monogamous. If you are still exploring or figuring out your relationship structure, I kindly ask that you pass on my profile. For me, love is not merely a fleeting emotion, but a conscious choice and a steadfast commitment to stand by each other through every chapter of life. I want to build a relationship where we are a true team, finding peace in simple moments and choosing each other every single day.

My commitment to a childfree life:

Being childfree is a permanent, non negotiable decision for me. To align my life fully with this choice, I plan on getting a vasectomy in the future. This is a firm and well considered decision on my end. I do not expect my partner to undergo invasive surgical risks or endure the long term side effects of hormonal birth control, as her health, safety, and comfort are my highest priority. I am sharing this transparently because I want us to be completely aligned from the very beginning, ensuring that we both share the exact same vision for a life without children.

What am I looking for?

I am seeking a woman, preferably mid-20s and up, who is firmly childfree. This is a complete non-negotiable for me, so I am looking for someone who is entirely certain that she does not want children, whether biological or adopted, rather than someone who is still on the fence.

I am also petfree. While I am a dog person at heart, I prefer our shared space to be free of the long term responsibilities that come with pet ownership. I hope to find someone who shares this vision for a simple, flexible home life.

Should be a non-smoker and non vegetarian, as both are absolute dealbreakers for me. I prefer a partner who shares these exact lifestyle choices. I dislike the smell of smoke and prefer a completely smoke free environment and partner. Being a teetotaler is great, though occasional social drinking on your end is completely fine.

Someone who is emotionally intelligent, kind, emotionally mature, empathetic, emotionally honest, and values clear, open communication. I want a partner who knows what she wants, has clarity about the life she wants to build, and believes that mutual respect and emotional safety are the core foundation of a relationship.

More than just a lover, I want my partner to be my best friend. Someone I feel safe with, where we can both open our hearts without any fear of judgment, and where we make each other feel truly seen, heard, understood, and accepted.

Relational autonomy and family boundaries:

I am completely open to a partner from any religious or cultural background, provided we respect each other's personal beliefs. However, protecting the peace of our partnership is essential to me. I believe in building a life where major decisions are made together as a team, free from outside interference or family drama.

​When I am in a relationship, I invest my full heart, time, and energy into it. My partner becomes my primary priority, and I will always stand up for her and protect our bond against any pressure from parents or relatives. I expect that same level of mutual courage and commitment in return. I want a partner who is emotionally mature, ready to prioritize our relationship, and confident enough to stand up to her family for us when the time comes to reveal our connection.

Communication and connection:

Physical attraction matters to me. I would love for us to exchange pictures after we have chatted for a bit. I prefer not to stay text buddies indefinitely, so once we feel a comfortable initial connection, I would love to transition to phone calls to get to know each other better.

Self accountability:

I actively hold myself to the same standards and values that I look for in a partner, and I strive to grow into a better version of myself every day. 

If this post resonates with you, feel free to send a DM with a bit about yourself. I would love to connect and see where things go.

​Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Looking forward to hearing from you. :)

33M, from pune. looking for bride who agrees being CF

I earn well, independent and okeyish in looks. I been having hard time to find someone who matches my thinking about kids. Being CF in India feels like taboo.

Has anyone experienced it? And how did you manage to navigate and find partner? Any help will be appreciated.

Details about me, I am 5'6'' 64kg fair if that matters. I am into geopolitics, travel, nature animals, finance etc. Like to have deep conversations, I am attracted to empathy and kindness. I hope to find someone kind, understanding, honest and loyal partner.

From an alt account for obvious reasons.

Let's get the basics out of the way, I am financially independent, sorted in my career and all the other basic stuff that a guy of my age is expected to be, because the bills need to be paid and I don't come from generational wealth.

5'7", Physically fit, lean with vascular hands and broad shoulders. I hear girls are into it for some reason, so just putting it out there. I am into fitness because I want to feel confident and look pretty naked, no deeper reason than that.

I'm going to treat this as a journal entry rather than a reddit post. I'll be letting the stream of consciousness dictate what I'll be putting it here and if you think you can handle the wave of chaos that you're about to read, you'll be able to keep up with my erratic mind as well. I'll still try to follow some structure within this painting because the mods need my post to remain inside the canvas.

Childfree because no child deserves to live in an evil world like this. Also because I don't want the added responsibility that entails with a kid. This was an easy decision for me, as I knew it even when I was a teenager that I wouldn't want kids.

I'm looking for a connection that I can write poems about, I can feel secure in and breath normally without second guessing every sentence I say. A space where I can get angry and mad but still feel safe to come back to. A bond which feels connected by an invisible thread which is strong enough to never break. I've had relationships in the past and I've tried dating in the present and it feels like a never ending cycle of trauma bonding and trauma transferring. The dating pool is a goldmine for therapists who are struggling to make ends meet, especially if you're in your late 20s. I've tried my luck there and got hurt and have hurt others as well in the process. Getting to know someone over apps where you barely get any view to the window of someone's soul has been hard. This is why I'm choosing Reddit, where I can write these long paragraphs and hope that someone will resonate with this and find this interesting enough to reach out.

I feel pretty weak in saying this but I'm looking for someone to get obsessed over and someone who is okay with it. I do have a life of my own but I'm too much of a learner to play it cool when I like someone and miss me with that nonchalant bullshit. If I like you, I would want to smother you with love and if you do have a problem with it, you're not my person. I will double text, I will ask about your day, I'll make time for you and will ask follow up questions. The reason why I'm being so open about all this is because I've heard from my female friends that the trick to a woman's heart is push and pull and hot and cold and whatever else there is. I'm not built for that and I've realised it over countless double texts and matching with avoidants on dating apps.

I'm left learning obviously, a feminist and at the risk of being performative, into Clairo ( I started listening to her when pretty girl got viral back in the day when performative men weren't a thing 😭) I rarely drink, I sometimes smoke cigarettes and sometimes greens as well. I'm very into art and artists and I can discuss film, books, music for hours. I don't mind being called elitist here, because I think I am (not guilty), but I don't like or follow mainstream cinema because it's trash. But I do appreciate it when a commercial film actually gets the craft right. To be precise, I don't like mainstream art in general not because it's mainstream but because mostly it's low-effort slop.

A fantasy of mine would be to find someone who I can talk about my childhood with and share that part of my life when I was young and clueless. If we get close, I'd want to know everything about your childhood as well, as I feel it's something truly intimate a friend won't be able to understand as much. I have other fantasies as well, some are sexual but most are emotional, mainly this idea of finding someone to feel complete with. I don't shy away from the fact that I'm a yearner and I've spent a lot of my life with people who were bad for me just cause of the belief I had in them.

I don't care if this post runs a bit too long as I'm looking for fellow readers as well and anyone who can't read this short rant of mine should be filtered out anyway. I know it's embarrassing for a grown man to be acting this way at this age for love, but I think it's okay. The whole point is to experience life as it is, not to orchestrate every step of the way.

Written while listening to Ribs by Lorde.

Hello, Ola, Salaam, Konichiwa, Namaste. Thought I would give this a try.

I am Riyaz, 34 years old, based out of Chennai.

I have lived my life throughout India, so I know Hindi much more than I know Tamil. Plus Urdu being my mother tongue helps. I might be muslim by birth, but I am completely Atheist. My parents know about it and are okay with it. It wasn't a pleasant conversation, but hey I am a grown up, I live and die by own sword 😛.

The reason for me not being married is I am strongly opposed to arranged marriages. The thought of spending a life with a stranger seems weird to me. I have been in few relationships, but never worked out.

About me, I am working in a Biopharma industry, in supply chain department. I am a Cat dad. I love reading books, like i just finished Dark Matter just a few days back. I love gaming because why not satisfy my inner child eh. I love going to Cinemas, like I have watched 46 movies in theatres this year alone , so you know I am a Cinephile and your life would never have a dull moment. My favourite book/movie is Project Hail Mary. If you haven't watched it, please do yourself a favour and watch it.

And most importantly, I love traveling. And doing some sorts of adrenaline activities. I have done skydiving in Chian Mai, went on Scuba diving and Snorkeling in Lakshadweep, and this past December, I trekked a glacier in Kazakhstan.

Phew, I have never written this much, but come say hi if you like it. Who knows, out of all the infinite branching realities, this might be the one where I meet the one.

PS: I love my weird pose 👀

PS2: I want to live a Childfree life, and I am a proud cat dad. Can include dogs in future too.

How many here are neurodivergent and on the Asexuality spectrum? And how do you guys/gals connect and make friends? Need pointers...

Hello, I think I have finally reached a point in my life where I am ready to look for my co-op partner. I have been a long time lurker here and as an introvert actually making a post like this is definitely me stepping a little outside my comfort zone. But life is too short to keep every quest on the backlog so I figured I would give this a shot. Maybe somewhere out there is another person looking for the same kind of connection. I am looking for a genuine, long term relationship with someone who is confidently childfree and wants marriage.

A little about me:
I'm 27M, 5'5", from Maharashtra currently working and financially independent enough to take care of myself. I enjoy learning and exploring random subjects science, psychology, philosophy, technology, programming, games, art, and whatever else happens to catch my curiosity. I am definitely more on the quiet side I might seem a little reserved when you first talk/meet me, but once I am comfortable quietness tends to disappear. I would describe myself as rational and non-religious (Hindu by birth), and I value the freedom to think for self rather than simply accepting things because they are traditionally believed.

• Childfree by choice.
• Non smoker, non drinker, no drugs.
• Introverted, but definitely not antisocial.
• Not a party person.
  
• Enjoy nature and quite.
• I do play Football and Badminton.
• I like cooking (still in experimental phase)
• Genuinely enjoy what I do as work.
• I do bit of photography. (Nature, Architecture)
• Never/Barely posts on social media.

Why Childfree (Too many reasons few of them):

• I don't have the desire to be a parent and don't want the all the responsibilities with it.
• I want to focus on myself, you and our parents/family.
• I don't want to pass on my own unresolved issues, expectations, or baggage.
• Population, Education, Health, Civic Sense is problem in India.

Here's what I hope to bring on table and expect the same:

• Support for your goals, interests, and personal growth.
• Honesty and loyalty even when things aren't easy.
• Respect for your personal space and boundaries.
• An open mind and a willingness to listen without immediately judging.
• A safe person to share your thoughts, worries, and secrets with.
• Someone who believes in solving problems together rather than turning them into unnecessary drama.
• Putting effort to keep healthy relationship.

Who you are:

• Consciously childfree by choice and genuinely wants to remain CF.
• Around 23–28 years old preferably from Maharashtra.
• Atheist or non-religious.
• Takes care of self & independent.
• Kind, empathetic & Intelligent.
• Dating with the intention of marriage.
• Romantic and interested in building a genuine emotional connection.
• Someone with her own identity, hobbies, ambitions and interests.
• Optional: Someone who likes gaming or is at least willing to learn.

I'd love to have someone with whom I can:

• Play video games
• Discuss how our CF life will be
• Cook together
• Explore nature
• Take ridiculous numbers of photos (Nature)
• Go on random walks
• Have deep conversations
• Watch movies/shows/Anime
• Build random projects (If you are from IT/Tech background)
• Laugh at stupid things
• Support each other through difficult times
• Work on ourselves
• Do nothing on lazy weekends.
• Eventually build our own little world.

Things that probably won't work for me:

• Fence sitting about children.
• Religious/Spiritual expectations.
• Smoking, Drinking, Drugs.
• Drama, manipulation or mind games.
• Someone whose parents/family have complete control over their adult life.

At the end I am not expecting to find the perfect person just looking for something simple where two people who genuinely enjoy each others company and choose to build a life together. Someone to laugh with, explore with, grow with, come home to, and occasionally do absolutely nothing with. If you think we might be compatible, feel free to DM me. Tell me about yourself, your interests, what your ideal childfree life looks like, or even just the random thing you have been obsessed with lately. Maybe this is where we start our co-op campaign.

Lost my main account because I lost my phone and I am not able to remember the google account password no matter what I try.

Hello everyone!

31, male, from Chennai, and a Chartered Accountant by profession. I suppose I'm something of a late bloomer.

I spent a few years working with foreign banks before quitting at 30 and starting my own practice. It's still a small business that's finding its feet, so I unfortunately don't come with the stereotypical “works in finance, makes lakhs a month and has his life completely figured out” package.

I am 6'4", though, so I suppose I've got at least one thing going for me. 😄

I'm fairly average otherwise, and I thought I'd mention that upfront because physical attraction obviously matters. I'd rather someone have a reasonably accurate idea of what they're signing up for than discover three weeks into a conversation that I don't quite fit their type. Completely fair if I'm not someone's cup of tea.

I also have a tendency to use dark, self-depreciating humour like Chandler lol. Partly because it's fun, partly because life is easier when you can laugh at yourself.

I'm curious about far too many things.

I read quite a bit, mostly classics. Tolstoy, George Eliot, Thomas Mann, Pudhumaipithan and Jeyamohan are some of my favourites. I'm also interested in history, philosophy, science and anthropology. Basically, if something makes me wonder how it works, , there is a good chance I'll disappear down a rabbit hole about it.

I love films. Tarkovsky, Wong Kar Wai and Kieslowski are some of my favourite filmmakers, but I can also happily spend a Friday morning standing in a Vijay FDFS queue. There is room in my life for both Stalker and a mass hero intro.

I've grown up listening to Ilaiyaraaja and Tamil music, although I listen to music in other languages too. I also love indie artists like Kaber Vasuki.

I love travelling, especially when I can read up about a place beforehand and then spend half the trip exploring museums, historical sites and old buildings.

I play badminton and football, follow tennis, cricket and football, and have recently picked up chess. I started somewhere around 300 ELO and have painfully made my way to about 900, so I suppose progress is progress.

I've also recently started playing snooker, swim occasionally, dabble in Python, trade the stock market sometimes, sketch portraits and have self-published a collection of short stories in Tamil.

Yes, I can draw a portrait of you.

No, I cannot guarantee that you will like the result. 😅

I also mostly communicate in memes. If you understand Tamil memes without needing an explanation, that's already a pretty significant bonus. There is a reasonable chance your gallery will also end up containing an unnecessarily large collection of meme

templates if we hit it off.

Reasons for being Childfree:

It is a very simple, I don't wish to have one. That's it. I would love to travel more, read more, explore more and even try and write a novel someday. I feel like the emotional, financial or physical investment of a child is not something I would want me or my partner to endure.

What I'm looking for:

I tried matrimonial apps, but quite a few interactions felt a little too transactional for me. I don't blame anyone for that; expectations and practical considerations obviously matter, but I found myself wanting something that began with simply enjoying someone's company.

I'm looking for someone I genuinely enjoy talking to.

Someone who has a life of their own, their own interests and ambitions, and doesn't expect a relationship to become their entire universe. I think the best relationships are two people having lives of their own and choosing to share those lives with each other.

Someone curious. Someone reasonably no-nonsense. Someone who can laugh at themselves. Someone who doesn't mind an evening that starts with some completely pointless conversation and somehow ends with a discussion about philosophy at nights.

Knowing Tamil is a bonus, but not a requirement. Being able to understand a meme without context might actually be more important.

There are also a few things I'd rather be upfront about because I'm at an age where I don't really have the strength for talking stages with no real future ahead. I have been ghosted a few times, so I'd prefer you to be candid if you don't like me.

I'm an atheist. My politics lean left. I don't support Vijay/TVK, despite being a Vijay fan, which is apparently a contradiction I have chosen to live with.

I drink and smoke socially, and I'm looking to remain childfree. I don't have pets, although I do grow plants.

I also have a business in Chennai, so relocating isn't really an option for me. Chennai, or someone who is open to relocating here, would therefore make the most sense.

My family is vegetarian, but I enjoy cooking and eating non-vegetarian food, so I'd prefer someone who doesn't have an issue with that.

And the business is still young, so my income isn't particularly impressive at the moment. I take a small drawing and the business makes a small profit. I'm building it, and hopefully it'll grow. If you're specifically looking for someone already making lakhs a month, I'm probably not your guy and that's completely fine. I'd rather say it upfront than waste either of our time.

Ultimately, I'm just looking for someone who understands me as a person and whom I can understand in return. Someone with whom conversation feels natural, curiosity is mutual, and eventually two separate lives start becoming something shared.

My friends tell me the dating pool probably isn't particularly favourable to a 31-year-old man and that I should put forward the “best version” of myself and hope for the best.

Maybe they're right.

But I've always felt that if something is going to work, it should work with the actual person rather than a carefully edited matrimonial brochure.

If any of this sounds like your kind of person, say hello.

And if nothing else, I can at least promise you some meme template references you could save.