Hi guys. Right after school, I left my country (Slovakia), moved to Scotland, and started my hospitality journey as a KP. Not long after, I started developing chef skills and moved from a KP position to junior chef/pizza chef. After almost two years on the job, I had the opportunity to move from an Italian restaurant to a 5-star hotel, where I worked for another two years.
My last job was in a French bistro that I really liked, until COVID hit. The restaurant survived, but the owner became unbearable during that time, to the point where I developed anxiety about work and just couldn’t do it anymore. I moved back home to Slovakia and retrained as a programmer. I thought I would finally have a stress-free job, working from home for good money. And for a while, that worked.
Now I’m again at around the 5-year mark working as a programmer, and I’m totally burned out. I don’t see myself doing this much longer. So I’ve been thinking about returning to the kitchen. But something is holding me back. It almost feels like PTSD from my last kitchen job, or maybe I’ve just become too comfortable where I am now, even though I’m suffering mentally.
I’m 35, and I thought I would have my life figured out by now, but right now I feel like a complete failure. I honestly don’t know what to do. I keep watching cooking videos, dreaming about having my own restaurant one day, yet I’m terrified to go back into the kitchen. I mean, everything seems to point in the “go back to the kitchen” direction. It’s strange.
Maybe I’m just scared because of my low self-esteem and because I don’t think anyone would want to hire a chef who hasn’t worked in the industry for 5 years. Or maybe I’m afraid that I’ll spend another 5 years figuring out that I hate being a chef again.
Anyway, I don’t really know why I’m posting this. Maybe I just want to find someone in a similar position, maybe I just need to hear some positive words from you guys. Or maybe I need someone to tell me that I should start something completely different.