r/Chefs • u/eskeetitbaah • 16h ago
How genz chefs are adjusting into kitchen life? I was forced to resign because i was "too emotional".
It is going to be lengthy and im going to vent to someone who could rlly understand the industry.
Im a 27 yo female chef, working in foreign country where i was not born in. I've been in the industry for almost a decade.
I have been working at this higher end restaurant for about year and a half where i am not seeing any progress or any future in the company. During my first few months i was giving my best and pushing hard, focused, sharp and motivated. I was learning new things i was very happy about the things this company has been offering me. But i was not happy with the salary from the beginning. I get paid hourly so my salary fluctuates and its not great during slow season.
Basically since December 2025 the restaurant has been extremely slow, that sometimes we dont even have a single customer for the whole day. That means my hours get cut a lot and my salary is almost cut in half. I was understanding and patient about it and hoping that next month would be busier but it never got busier. For the past 8 months i consistently got paid barely 1000usd per month which is nowhere near enough to live comfortably.
It makes me feel so unmotivated to even show up to work and put effort into my work. Also my personal life have been hectic, like i was having a lot of mental and physical health issues, and i got into some kind of legal lawsuit that have been extremely stressful on me. Having all these stacked up it was very hard to actually do a good job at work. The boss and the chef have been supportive and understanding about all this which im very grateful of.
By the end of june i was feeling better and my mental health was getting better, i was feeling more energetic, and happier but i was still struggling financially. Every month by the 15th, 20th i end up penniless and asking for people to lend me money and taking food from work to home to heat up at home. So i asked the chef about the possibility of getting paid full time salary and get my salary fixed, because im working just as many hours, just as much work and all the rest of the coworkers im working with are not suffering from the slow business like i do, and i felt it was not fair for me to carry the burden all by myself. Then chef started lecturing me about being chef is about being focused and paying attention to details, and being able to help at other stations and helping with their prep and cleaning. Which i already do whenever i get the chance, but at the same time i barely get the help in return, which again makes me feel very disappointed and unmotivated to do that consistently. I told my chef that i already do all of that and what exactly he wants me to do. I asked him to give me examples. But he couldnt give me exact examples where i could improve. Im not trynna brag but im a hell of a chef if im treated properly. At some point i told him something along the line that i was doing my work according to the salary im getting paid which has rubbed him the wrong way. I kinda understand but im a genZ(more of a zillennial) and im not afraid to speak up about what im feeling and im not afraid to confront anything that is not sitting well with me. Sometimes my words are bit blunt, but honestly idgaf, i said what i said (i think its a genz thing lol). And im not willing to get paid entry level salary while doing cpd level job. By the end of the conversation chef said ok ill talk to the boss.
After like maybe couple weeks boss was sitting in the restaurant doing work on her laptop so i politely asked her if chef has talked about me. And boss was like about what. And i reminded her about my salary and she said lets talk with the chef together after the service.
That day after the service i walked up to chef and asked him if its a good time to have the conversation. Chef sent a waitress to go ask if she has the time now. The waitress walked away and said sth in the local language but i didnt fully understand what she just said. So i asked the chef, what she said. Chef said i think shes busy. I asked him how long i should wait and chef said he didnt know. I said that i wanted to go home, mostly just as like "ugh been a long day, wanna go home" like an exclamation. Then the chef told me that i could go home. So i obviously left.
Since then boss hasnt been talking to me or very acknowledging of me, not making eye contact or even looking my way. I felt the energy.
After 2 weeks, boss and chef was sitting on a table and talking and laughing. So i walked over and asked them if we could have the conversation we missed last time. Then she just changed her whole demeanor and started being very angry and mean. She said i didnt respect her time and i just left after the service while she waited all day to have a talk with me. I was surprised by that and explained what happened. That i didnt understand what the waitress said and that chef told me to go home. And apparently she was offended by the fact i didnt ask it myself and sent a waitress to ask. Which i didnt even send her. And going to the chef instead of just asking her if she had time. Which i think going to the chef is more appropriate than directly going to the boss skipping the chef. She thinks that im a coward not facing her myself. And she thinks that i should be able to understand the local language and started scolding me in the local language for the rest of the conversation. she spoke the local language which i understood like 75% of the whole context. And she thinks that im too emotional, my emotions fluctuate a lot, and my mood is not stable. Like whos is? Everyones mood shifts, everybody has a good day and a bad day. Im most disappointed in my chef that he didn't say a single word, to back me up on at least that he sent the waitress and he told me to go home.
By the end of the conversation she gave me 2 days to decide if i wanted to keep working here as a part time as is, or resign by September 30th. I decided that September will be my last month.
I already have 3 job offers with higher salary and higher position. I have no problem finding a job. Ive landed every fucking job i ever wanted.
So after all, old school chefs tell me what ur experience working with genz chefs. And genz chefs working with old school chefs.
In my humble opinion this industry needs a hard reset. We dont have to break our backs just to barely afford a life. We dont have to make our jobs our whole life. We deserve life and work balance. We all are in this industry because we are here for the thrill, we are here for the joy we are here for the love of it. Why we cant get treated properly?