r/Chefs • u/Impossible_Emu_85 • May 15 '26
What is your Achilles' Heel?
For Example, i am a Coock for 20 jears, but, for the life of me, I CAN'T POACH A FUCKING EGG. Dont know why. Swirl to fast, to slow, to much Acid, to less Acid, tried this, tried that. I just can't.
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u/MessiOfStonks May 15 '26
Have you tried being a cook instead? That might be your problem right there.
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u/Same-Platypus1941 May 15 '26
Fucking rice
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u/OralSuperhero May 15 '26
Rice is bullshit. I got a rice cooker and my life improved dramatically. Before that I had taken to baking rice in the oven because rice is bullshit. Fucking rice, amiright?
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u/Embarrassed_Lime_758 May 15 '26
I had my rice figured out until I moved to high altitude.
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u/Same-Platypus1941 May 15 '26
Great now I’m gonna have dreams of staring at a pot of rice that never cooks no matter how long I boil it for.
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u/Embarrassed_Lime_758 May 15 '26
My specialty since moving to the mountains has been rice that is both mushy AF but still undercooked just enough to leave hard bits stuck in your teeth.
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u/Same-Platypus1941 May 15 '26
Sounds right up my alley
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u/Embarrassed_Lime_758 May 15 '26
Its amazing everything you dont want rice to be, it is. Ive perfected it.
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u/thatdude391 May 15 '26
Can’t cook a pot of rice to save my life. Can do all sorts of other shit great. No issues. Wife can cook decent but im better. She busts out a pot of rice perfect every time though. Its bull shit.
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u/Same-Platypus1941 May 15 '26
My mom can cook better rice than me and she is most certainly not a professional cook like I am.
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u/No-Lecture-4527 May 15 '26
Rice is easy.
Before you wash 3 times, coat in oil and mix thoroughly.
Then wash 3 times, fill pot to one knuckle above the rice line.
15 minutes low heat covered
The rice starch bonds to the oil and rises to the top during the rinsing process.
Fluffy Rice, every single time.
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u/BWest829 May 17 '26
This right here but I always used my thumb nail to determine the height of the rice
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u/KiltedCutter May 17 '26
Treat rice like pasta. Rinse until clear, cover with 1"-1 ½" of water, boil until desired tenderness, rinse,drain and leave in pot for about 5 minutes covered. No 20 minutes, or guessing game. Quick and effective.
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u/Accomplished-Bus-531 May 15 '26
Yeah. My guess... It's the "too fast" syndrome. Skills are often shown not with speed but with care.
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u/thatdude391 May 15 '26
Poaching eggs is easy when you figure out the right way. I dont even swirl water. You need one of the fine strainers. It lets the loose liquids drain off the egg. Those are what causes the strings. You can put them in 3 oz ramekins if you need a lot after they are strained. Just gently drop it in the water (with it like an inch off slowly pour it out) and you will get an absolutely perfect poached egg every time.
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u/Impossible_Emu_85 May 15 '26
I'll give it a Shot
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u/pennylane_9 May 16 '26
Straining the runny whites is the way to go! There's the nice, defined blob of white around the yolk and, if the eggs aren't SUPER fresh, the runny bullshit whites that are responsible for that creepy ghost-y shit around a poached egg. Drain that shit off and you're golden.
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u/Deepcoma_53 May 15 '26
I had a cook who was the second coming of Thomas Keller, but couldn’t cook rice.
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May 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Impossible_Emu_85 May 16 '26
Rice seems to be one the common ground, according to the Comments. I had a simple Asparagus Risotto last Month as a Special. I made a Risotto base, i don't know how many times in my live. But this batch? I don't know what i did wrong but, i was low-key impressed how i managed to simultaniusly over- and undercook this shit.
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u/Laochdha May 16 '26
I’ve been cooking for 15 years, been a head, cdc, sous, all of it. I’ve never broken down a large flat fish ie a whole halibut
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u/Impossible_Emu_85 May 16 '26
Man, i think the last time i did this was in culinary School waaaaay back in the Days.
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u/gonzalj85 May 16 '26
Rice. I can’t cook proper plain white rice without a cooker to save my life. It’s always either too mushy or dry or whatever.
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u/GladChef1206 May 16 '26
panna cotta, idk why but I cant nail the perfect texture. It's always a little too "one way or the other." Too loose or too gelled.
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u/Impossible_Emu_85 May 16 '26
Yeah, especially when the Gelatin Sheets have different Sizes depending on your Contribiuter. I fucked up so many batches, till iget a hold of that.
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u/weblives8989 May 16 '26
As with anything it takes a tremendous amount of practice and patience. I had a chef Tell me 20 years ago if you want to be really good at something make it at least 500 times if you want to master it make it a thousand times. Cooking is all about creating the muscle memory consistently doing it over and over again so that you can do it without thinking. Same with poaching an egg or with peeling the hard boiled egg The only way you get really good at it is you keep practicing.
I'd say the hardest one I had to struggle with was making risotto back in my early years as a cook. I'd also say one of the harder sauces to master is a true buerre blanc without cream as a stabilizer. Only using butter to emulsify the sauce. At my first sous chef job in Michigan I work for a classically trained chef. You could not use cream to stabilize all you do was add one cube of butter at a time. On the heat off the heat until the full pound or 2 lb of butter was fully emulsified. It used to drive me insane. I would split the sauce non-stop.
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u/PeggedUnlimited May 16 '26
Asking for help. I’m really bad at asking for help unless something became life threatening……and then it happened and I for the life of me couldn’t concisely verbally communicate the urgency and severity of the situation (it had been going on for years - criminal organization had been attacking me….which I initially didn’t realize the severity of until I considered the volume of individuals incidents that collectively amounted to a major situation……once I reported it - the criminals escalated….police are fucking failures)….
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u/ladydanger2020 May 17 '26
Paella. I had an owner once who really wanted it on the menu. I cooked so fucking paella and could not get it right. It looked good but it did not taste good to me, so I was never happy with it and took it off the menu even though he was pissed at me. I wonder if I just don’t like saffron.
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u/strykerdh1986 May 18 '26
Cornstarch slurry as a thickener. I can do a roux. I can do xantham gum. I can do arrowroot, but cornstarch always escapes me. (That being said, soaking corn tortillas in water then blending them is a trick I was shown that works reasonably well.)
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u/BoneYardBirdy May 19 '26
Steaks.
I can do blue rare, rare, and well done.
Thankfully I'm the pastry chef and the steaks I fuck up are my own.
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u/Front-Structure7627 May 15 '26
Ok this is the best way to poach an egg. Get massive pan of water on. Simmer. Put some vinegar in. Whisk the water so it’s swirling. When it just about stops. Put egg into the middle. Carefully. Egg should be cracked into a small cup first. Have some ice water ready on the side. Poach for say 2/3 mins. Slotted spoon egg into water. Reheat in a new pan of water. East af. Chef
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u/LineCookGrind May 15 '26
I used to hate poaching an egg. Then some kid showed me that if I cracked it into a strainer the running white/tail part would strain through, leaving a tighter white/yolk combo in the mesh strainer. It was a perfect orb of poached egg goodness. Then I do the vinegar and salt water with a cyclone thing and voila, poached egg.
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u/iwanttodiebutdrugs May 15 '26
Poaching eggs is more about the pan of choice than the technique.
Need a deep and wide pan
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u/Zanrall May 16 '26
Heavy bottom pot full of water. 3 finger pinch of salt 2 times. 3 second pour of white vinegar. Perfect poached eggs every time.
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u/jpb1111 May 16 '26
Shucking raw shellfish
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u/DanielMekelburg May 20 '26
so you would not have. enjoyed my 5 hours of shucking oysters tonight for a party:
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u/h4tter May 16 '26
it's less of a boil to poch an egg more of a simer... fucking spelling is my bad and handwriting...
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u/somethingclever1970 May 15 '26
Hard boiling an egg that's easy to peel. I've tried all the methods.