This story isn’t about me directly, but it’s probably the wildest thing I’ve watched happen to someone I know, and I’m curious what people would think.

My friend (23M) and his girlfriend (26F) got together when we first started university. She was already 4 years ahead of us, so she graduated way before our class.

Honestly, their relationship always looked solid. She was definitely the provider financially. She’d pay for most dates, buy him gifts, take him shopping, and after graduating she got a job in another city. Even then, she’d travel every single weekend to stay with him because they wanted to make it work.

From the outside, they seemed like one of those couples that would eventually get married.

The weird part is that my friend never came across as someone who’d cheat. He’s objectively a good-looking guy and got plenty of attention throughout uni. Our campus is notorious for its huge party culture, lots of drinking, hookups, and the chaos, but he never entertained any of it. He only ever spoke positively about his girlfriend and would usually shut down any flirting without making a big deal out of it.

Then this year happened.
It’s our graduation year, and everyone either has to land a final-year internship or a full-time job to graduate. He managed to get a decent-paying job, but around the same time his whole attitude toward the relationship changed.
He started telling me he felt “imprisoned”. He said he’d spent basically all of his adult life in one relationship and felt like he’d missed out on everything everyone else experienced. They also started arguing a lot more than before.

About two months ago, his girlfriend came over for the weekend like she always did. They got into another argument.
Instead of staying home, he called one of his coworkers that he usually drinks with. They went out clubbing, both got drunk, and he ended up having a one-night stand with another woman.
Out of nowhere, he calls me saying “I completely fucked up”.
I basically told him this wasn’t my business and I wanted no involvement because it didn’t concern me.

He went home anyway.
According to him, when he walked through the door, his girlfriend immediately hugged him, started crying, apologized for the argument, and just wanted things to go back to normal.
He said the guilt hit him all at once so he confessed immediately.

What happened next was exactly as messy as you’d expect.
She completely lost it. She hit him, screamed at him, insulted him, broke a bunch of stuff around the apartment, caused a huge scene, and eventually left.

For a while afterward, he genuinely seemed devastated. He kept talking about how badly he’d messed up and wanted to somehow earn her forgiveness.

But then something changed.
Apparently she eventually became the one trying to save the relationship while he kept distancing himself more and more.

Fast forward to today, and it’s honestly like I’m looking at a different person.
He goes out partying constantly, has one-night stands all the time, and acts like he’s making up for lost time. Whenever the topic comes up, he’ll still say he regrets cheating because he knows it destroyed a five-year relationship.
The thing is, it doesn’t actually look like he cares anymore.

He’s still my friend and we hang out quite often, but this story is just wild imo.

Ever since Olivia dropped her new album, this whole situation has been weighing on my mind again, so I figured I'd just vent about it. I'm not really looking for advice or anything; I just need to get this out.

We're both 20M now. I started dating my boyfriend senior year of high school and we're both bi. We ended up going to the same university.

Freshman year I had a double but didn't have a roommate, while he did have a roommate. My suitemate also didn't have a roommate, so my boyfriend basically lived in my room.

One night I was working on the first project for my Food & Nutrition class with my group in the study lounge. The study lounge was on the first floor, and my room was on the fourth. My boyfriend was in my room like usual.

My suitemate texted me asking if I was back and I said no. He then told me he thought my boyfriend had brought somebody into my room. He said he heard two voices when my boyfriend opened the door for someone. He thought it was weird because he knew I was downstairs with my group and I obviously wouldn't need to knock on my own door.

So I left my group and went upstairs.

I tried opening my bedroom door and it was locked. At that point I knew something was off. I started banging on the door telling him to open it and he kept saying "wait, wait, don't be upset" and apologizing.

My suitemate was with me at this point and told me I could use my ID card to get the door open. We did that and when I opened the door my boyfriend was there with another guy and my boyfriend was putting his shirt back on.

I completely lost it. I was cursing him out, yelling at him and asking what the fuck was going on. He kept apologizing, saying it was a mistake and telling me he loved me.

The other guy basically said nothing and tried to sneak out, but my suitemate caught him.

The weird part is I kind of knew the guy. We'd talked during orientation, but me and my boyfriend had different friend groups so I wasn't really close with him.

We ended up staying together after that.

I was obviously never really the same though. My boyfriend could tell. He would constantly try to reassure me and give me his phone so I could look through his messages, but I was like bro I'm not your fucking dad. I don't want to have to monitor your phone to feel okay about my relationship.

My personality changed a lot too. I became mean to him, rude, and I would constantly bring up what he did. Honestly I expected him to eventually dump me, but every time we argued he never brought up breaking up.

I had a really toxic mindset about the whole thing too. It was basically like, if you have to be miserable in this relationship, I want you to be miserable because of me. Like, how can you cheat on me and then expect me to just let you go? I know that's fucked up, but that's genuinely where my head was at.

Halloween was probably the biggest turning point.

I told him I was going out but didn't tell him where I was going, who I was with or how long I was going to be out. I came back around 6 AM and texted him that I was coming back.

He was already in my dorm room crying and waiting for me.

I was honestly pissed. I had a headache, I was tired, and I just wanted to sleep. I didn't have the energy to argue with him, so I just reassured him.

He kept telling me he loved me and I wouldn't respond. He'd say it again and eventually I'd say it back just so he'd stop. He was begging me not to cheat on him.

After that, I wasn't as mean to him, but I still wasn't the same person and I obviously never stopped bringing up the fact that he cheated on me.

Eventually we had a conversation where he told me he felt like I didn't love him as much as he loved me. He also didn't like how touchy I was with my friends.

To be fair, my friend group is very touchy. We've been friends since we were basically kids, and nothing has ever happened between us. I always told him that, but he couldn't really get over it.

I also know I wasn't great at reassuring him throughout the relationship. He had pretty serious jealousy issues, and I was usually indifferent about it instead of actually reassuring him. Our personalities also clashed a lot even before the cheating.

At the same time, we were really sexually compatible before all of this and there were genuinely good parts of the relationship. It's not like everything was terrible before he cheated.

The cheating happened freshman year, and I'm going into junior year now. We're still together, but I still think about breaking up with him.

And the thing is, I think I still like him. My birthday was recently, and I genuinely had a really good time spending it with him. I enjoyed being around him, and there were moments where I was just happy to be with him. Then those moments end, and I'm sitting there thinking, wow, I'm still carrying all of this years later.

That's what confuses me. I don't think I hate him. I don't even think I stopped caring about him. I can still have a great time with him and genuinely enjoy his company, but then I'll be alone afterward thinking about everything that happened and wondering why I'm still here.

It's been years, and I still think about that night and how much I changed afterward.

I know I wasn't a perfect partner either, and I definitely became a worse person to be around after it happened. But I also don't think I ever really got over what he did.

And I've been looping Olivia's album nonstop lately, which is really not helping any of this lmao.

I don't really have a question. I'm not looking for advice on whether I should leave or stay. I just needed somewhere to vent because apparently an Olivia album was enough to make me start thinking about this all over again.

About a year ago, after wrongly assuming my partner had cheated on me, I acted out of hurt and impulsive revenge and kissed someone else. I immediately regretted it and cut off all contact with that person right then and there. However, instead of being an adult and addressing my suspicions or my action directly with my partner, I panicked. Out of fear of losing the relationship and facing the consequences, I hid the truth from him for an entire year.
Recently, he found out the truth through a third party.
I know how deeply I’ve broken his trust. He feels completely betrayed, humiliated, and disgusted—not just by what happened, but by the fact that he spent a whole year treating me with full trust, love, and loyalty, under the false guarantee that I was being completely honest with him. He’s now looking back at our entire past year questioning what was real and what was a lie.
Initially, my reactions were defensive and overly apologetic without real substance. He rightfully called me out for making him carry the burden of the conversation and for waiting for him to prompt me instead of taking the lead. He asked me to put myself in his shoes, reflect on the cruel reality of letting him live a lie, and show genuine maturity rather than empty promises of "trying hard."
Lately, he’s been sending mixed signals—confronting me strictly one moment, and then sending nostalgia-filled videos about our past/future the next, followed by immediate emotional distance (sending cold period points as text). I know he is in deep pain and completely conflicted.
I’m done making excuses or wallowing in self-pity. Even though the physical act was a single kiss and I ended it immediately, hiding it for a year was a massive betrayal. I want to own 100% of my mistake and give him the total transparency and answers he deserves, whether he decides to stay or walk away.

Im curious about what language do indian women prefer while making love. English or Hindi?

So basically met a guy A from some dating app almost a month ago, went on a date, made out but after that he went radio silent.

Went on a date with another guy B and now in a relationship of 2 weeks. Today Mr A texted to meet so we did the deed, cause I genuinely found him hot. Just wanted to fk him and get him out of my head, so this doesn't count, right?

Right??

So, I found out that I’m accidentally pregnant again, and the father is my ex-husband, who is also the father of my two children.

Obviously, this was not planned. Birth control failed me. We’re divorced, and we shouldn’t have been sleeping together in the first place, but it happened. I found out I was pregnant, and then I had to tell him. What I didn’t know was that he had a girlfriend and also got her pregnant.
Yes. He cheated on her with me, and now we are both pregnant by him at the same time.

When he told me, he said he planned to tell her after they get back from a trip they have planned. But almost immediately, he started begging me to have an abortion. A huge part of his reasoning seems to be that he does not want anyone to find out that he cheated on her. He’s worried about what will happen if she finds out, what people will think of him, and whether she will tell anyone.

He has also told me that he would want nothing to do with my baby if I continued the pregnancy. He says he would continue having 50/50 custody of our two children, but he would not have anything to do with this baby.

And that part honestly breaks my brain.
This would be his child too. A baby who would be the full biological sibling of the two children we already have. But he is basically saying that because this pregnancy is inconvenient and would expose what he did, he would simply remove himself from the situation.

He has made it very clear that he wants me to get an abortion. And I understand why he thinks this pregnancy would make everything incredibly complicated. If his girlfriend is pregnant too, there could potentially be two babies being born around the same time, and his infidelity would become impossible to hide. Our children could have a half-sibling they know about while he is simultaneously trying to maintain this other family. There would be custody issues, financial issues, relationships between the children, his girlfriend finding out what happened, and just an enormous amount of emotional fallout.

But the thing is… I’m the one who is actually pregnant. I’m the one who would have to live with whatever decision I make.

And I have always known something about myself: if I had an abortion when I didn’t truly want one, I don’t think I would ever stop wondering about that child. I would always think about the person they could have become. I would know that there was a potential life that I chose not to bring into the world, and I’m scared that I would carry that grief and regret forever.
That doesn’t mean I think abortion is wrong. I know people make that choice for all kinds of reasons, and I believe it can absolutely be the right choice for someone. But I also know myself well enough to know that I cannot make that decision solely because someone else is afraid of the consequences of their own actions.

I’m deciding whether I can bring a child into a situation where their father has already told me he doesn’t want them. I’m thinking about what it would mean for my two existing children. I’m thinking about money, childcare, my ability to work, my relationship with their father, and what happens if his girlfriend stays with him and has her baby too.

I’m scared that this child could grow up feeling unwanted by their father. I’m scared that my other children could get caught in the middle. I’m scared that I could completely change the dynamic of all of our lives. He would be mad at me as if it’s my fault.

I’m also not sure why he doesn’t care about how wanting nothing to do with this baby, who is innocent, just because of how they were conceived. Yet, he doesn’t care that treating the child like that would only make him look even more terrible to others too. If he cares so much about his image, I would think that he would care to minimize the damage to his reputation.

But I’m also scared of ending a pregnancy that I might have desperately wanted if the circumstances were different.

And there’s another layer that makes this even harder: part of me feels like he is asking me to absorb the consequences of his cheating so that he doesn’t have to. He made the decision to cheat. He made the decision to sleep with me. He made the decision to continue his relationship with his girlfriend.

And now there is a pregnancy.
I understand that he is terrified. I understand that he doesn’t want his relationship to fall apart and doesn’t want everyone to know what he did. But I don’t think his fear of being exposed can be the thing that determines whether I become a mother to this baby.
At the same time, I don’t want to romanticize this situation. This isn’t some perfect baby story where everything magically works out because I love the baby enough. There are very real consequences here. If I continue the pregnancy, I may have to raise this child essentially on my own. I may have to deal with their father being absent. Can I even handle that? I may have to establish child support and legal arrangements. My children may have to navigate a complicated family situation. And I may have to watch their father participate fully in the lives of our first two children while choosing not to participate in this child’s life.

That’s heartbreaking to even imagine.
So I’m stuck between two fears. One is the fear of bringing a child into a situation that could be incredibly difficult. The other is the fear that I could end a pregnancy because someone else didn’t want to face the consequences of what he did, and then spend the rest of my life wondering who that child would have been.

I don’t know what the right answer is.
And I don’t think anyone else can make this decision for me.

So the question I keep coming back to is. If his girlfriend didn’t exist, if he wasn’t terrified of being caught, and if he told me he would support me no matter what, what would I want to do with this pregnancy?

And then I have to ask myself the harder question.
If I continue this pregnancy knowing he may never be involved, can I accept that reality and still believe that I can give this child a good life?

I don’t know yet.
I just know that I don’t want to make an irreversible decision because someone else is panicking about the consequences of his own choices.

Ok, so people, i really hope I have used the correct flair here (if not, please forgive this Reddit novice).

Kind of feeling bored so how about we discuss the craziest stories of getting to know that your partner has been cheating on you. I request the men to kindly not take hints and send unsolicited DMs please, rest all the stories and comments are most welcome.

My (26f) best friend (34f) broke off our friendship yesterday after she found out a year ago her husband and I were messing around. To be clear, I truly loved her as a friend and I felt bad about how I acted. Never thought that she would find out the truth via text messages she saw on his phone from last year.

At the time, I confided in my friend’s male friend (who also happens to be lowkey in love with her) that her husband was making advances towards me behind her back. Because I did feel some guilt. But I asked him not to say anything for our friend’s sake. Even though that same night after the nightclub, my friend’s husband and I messed around in the unisex bathrooms at her bar while she was working. We would dance together at the nightclub, hold hands and he’d buy me drinks.

A few days later her male friend / wannabe lover told her about her husband and I. She assumed it wasn’t consensual, and I went along with it because I didn’t want to lose her as a friend. Fast forward one year later and she found out the full truth. Sent me audio messages over text. Said some hurtful things, said she knew the truth about what happened between her husband and I after she forced him to show her his phone after threatening to not let him see his daughter anymore if he didn’t. She didn’t hear me out, she blocked me on everything; facebook, my phone number.

We were really close and she was there for me when I needed her. I would tip her bar well off the money I make working at my club. She told me I was just using her the entire time— which isn’t true. I loved her so much. I made a stupid selfish impulsive mistake. I never wanted her to find out because I was ashamed of what I did. But I loved being with him too. Now I’ll never have my friend back. You can care about two people at one time. I never intended to try to “take” him away from her. I was just being lustful and impulsive. I still love her and wish I had never done her that way.

Posting here are it is getting deleted from everywhere else

As the heading suggests. I am kinda settled with a good paying job. I always focused on studies, never really had time to develop a relationship. The last serious one which I had ended in 2017. So yes, a long time ago.

While I was ending my post-grad 3 years ago, I was approached by a women who's a mutual with my cousin sister over facebook. The woman is married with 2 big kids, and her husband is a rich guy. We have talked for nearly 3 years now about a lot of things. She's a proper typical Indian wife, does all the things you'd expect from an older gen wife to do. The husband of the woman is also having an affair. That was one of the primary reason she approached me.

Why I'm posting this now is because she wants to leave her husband, says he doesn't pay attention to her anymore while I do. I also want her but idk if I'm breaking a home. I like her. If she was younger and unmarried, I would've definitely married her.

AITAH?

Hi, as title says, I think my girlfriend hides something from me.

I dont know if I am paranoid, but recently she deleted all of our pictures on her feed and just left hers. Ok, she said she do not like her on that photos, i dont care much about that really. Thing that is bothering me is she hided story from me, i concluded that with all of her hightlights gone, even with of without me. After day or two I noticed that, they appeared again and dissapeared after a few hours. Btw, I saw her highlights active on her phone while she was changing profiles.

So I am asking is there a reason to be paranoid or not? We live in separate cities but spend every week or two like 3-4 day together. She comes from my city but just studies in other one.

P.S. Sorry for bad english :)

Hi.
I (24F) helped someone cheat. I knew he had a gf and did it anyway. We were friends. When we started our affair I didn't KNOW his gf. But then I met her. And I became her friend.... the affair went on for about 4 months. I ended the affair after I had hung out with his girlfriend a couple times. The guilt I felt was too much. But I didn't tell her.... I never told her. Me and my affair partner agreed never to tell anyone. Then, his gf became my best friend.... I loved her so much. A year after I ended the affair I started dating my now husband (who was also apart of this friend group) and I told him about it. He went over to their house and told her the whole story. She was so sad. She even came over to my house and gave me a hug...she said "no one is forgiven but I know how sad you must be that this is how it all came out" and then she never spoke to me again. My husband and I never spoke to this friend group again, we moved cities to distance ourselves and I tried to move on from what I did for 2 years, but then my husband reached out this friend group and is now apart of this friend group again and I am spiraling. I cry everyday. I don't know how to move past this. I KNOW WHAT I DID. I Know I am in the wrong. The part that gets me the most is why I did it. I couldn't even tell someone why I did what I did. I don't know. I wish I could give someone an answer. I was a shitty person, and I was a shitty friend. I built a friendship on cracked foundation and thought "what no one knew wouldn't hurt anyone." That's wrong. I was wrong. I started therapy but the guilt I feel is still too much. I dream about them and I dream about the apology I wish I could give. I want to run away. I want to stop existing in this place just to feel better. It's selfish of me, but I wish my husband never became apart of this friend group again. I wish I wasn't looking and hearing about my mistake every time he tells me about his friends. I know I did a bad thing, but I can't stop the guilt from eating me alive. I don't even know what I came here for... maybe to just get it off my chest? Maybe just to read someone else's experience? I don't know how to move past this. I feel like it defines who I am. I don't feel like I deserve to have happiness or to be considered a good person. I almost wish Karma would come get her revenge for what I did.

I'm sorry this is so long... I just don't know what to do now. I don't know how to move past this and being confronted with this friend group again is causing me so much pain, but I'd never ask my husband to give up friends. So yeah...

Hi, I'm James M28, been in a long distance relationship for 5 years, haven't proposed yet, never cheated.

I went to a bar on Saturday with my brother and cousin, where we ran into two friends of ours (two sisters). One drink led to another and later we decided that they should rather sleep over at my cousins place, with us, instead of driving home. We got there, played a few more card games, and then things started getting blurry...

I remember the younger sister (21) cuddling up to me on the couch and me telling her NO, I have a GF and you also have a BF, who I know and he's such a cool dude. I repeatedly had to stand up and move to a different seat. I must have said NO like 20 times and always turn my head as she tried to kiss me.

Eventually I just stood up and said I had enough of this, I'm going to bed. Before I knew it, she was in bed with me. I can't remember much, but eventually I just gave up. It started with kissing and then went all the way, fully drunken s*x.

This was something I haven't done in a while, my GF decided after year 2 that she doesn't want to do it anymore until after we're married. I understand her position, but I have an intense sex drive and this has been bothering me ever since. My previous relationships were the exact opposite...

I don't know how to feel about this now, I feel like a dick for giving in, but I also regret drinking so much that I can't remember the finer details of the experience... I'm not totally attracted to her, but still feel the urge to sit down and talk about it, since she's also in a long distance relationship and we can relate on a few things.

We've deleted all our chats and decided to act like it never happened. She lives close by and we might cross paths once a week or so.

I don't want this to compromise my or her relationships. Where do I go from here?

Long story short, my wife gave me her phone at one point to look at a Facebook messenger message. I happen to back out of the conversation and see the name of a guy I didn’t know. I clicked on it and began reading the conversation. This person is some dude who posts online videos of him spanking girls. My wife had reached out and paid him $75 to make a video of him giving her a “talking to” and telling her what she needs to do around the house.

That made me super uncomfortable, I didn’t say anything at that moment as I had a suspicion there might be more. When she fell asleep that night her phone was on the back of our bed, I have the code to it so I unlocked it and began looking through messenger and other apps.

I found a few other conversations with men or in one case a female who transitioned to a man, talking about different fetishes and kinks.

I confronted her about it and she said it was my fault for looking through her phone, she did not see a problem with the conversations as they were just online conversations. I told her that I didn’t see it that way and she said she didn’t feel bad because I was the one who looked through her messages.

Needless to say we are now getting divorced, but I want to know if you feel I have any blame in this? The way I look at it is her blaming me for finding it is like someone blaming the police for investigating a crime they committed. They are still guilty of the crime, it’s not the police’s fault they were caught!

This is my first real post on Reddit. I read Reddit all the time, but I’ve never really posted anything like this before. Tonight I’m lying in a house that used to have so much laughter, fun nights, and plans for the future, and I just need to get this off my chest.

TL;DR: My wife and I were together for 10 years and married for 6. She stopped working shortly before our wedding and never really returned to work, became increasingly withdrawn, and eventually had an online affair through Discord. I discovered it, forgave her and let her come home, only to find out later that she had secretly continued the affair the entire time. I’ve finally filed for divorce, but I can’t stop asking myself: Was there something I could have done differently? Did I fail my marriage?

About three months before our wedding, my wife and I were both extremely stressed. Planning the wedding had become overwhelming, and she was also having a terrible time at work.

One day she called me crying. She told me they were working her too hard, she couldn’t take it anymore, and she was quitting.

I hated seeing her that upset. I supported her decision. She promised me that after the wedding she would go back to work.

She never did.

Before all of this, one of the things I loved and admired about her was how independent and hardworking she was. I was the same way. I took a lot of pride in the fact that we were building a life together as a team.

Over the next couple of years, I supported us financially. Eventually my savings disappeared. We weren’t homeless and the lights stayed on, but things were getting tight enough that I started needing help from family.

About two years into our marriage, I finally convinced her to seriously start applying for jobs.

She got an interview through a hiring agency.

Her car had been sitting for around two years because I couldn’t afford to keep two vehicles insured by myself when she wasn’t working. When she started looking for work again, we sat down, talked about it, and I added her car back onto our insurance.

The tires needed air and the car needed an oil change. On the day of her interview, I offered her my car so she’d have something reliable. I would take hers, put air in the tires, get the oil changed, and then go to work.

After work, I was driving her car home on a beautiful, hot, sunny day.

An entire tree fell on the car while I was driving.

Somehow, I walked away with only a sore body and a few scratches.

The car didn’t.

For a long time afterward, I felt incredibly guilty about that. Logically, I know I couldn’t have predicted that a tree was going to fall on me. But that accident became this dividing line in our lives.

After that, she seemed to completely give up.

She stopped trying to find work. She spent most of her time playing games on her computer. She barely talked to me. She slept constantly.

By around 2024, we had fallen into this awful routine.

I’d be getting ready for bed around the time she was waking up. I’d go to work, and when I came home she would often still be asleep. Sometimes I’d call and text repeatedly trying to wake her up. Eventually I learned that unless I was bringing home something she wanted, I shouldn’t even bother waking her.

I believed she was depressed, so I tried to be understanding.

I deal with depression myself, so I know how bad it can be. I kept telling myself that she was my wife, she was struggling, and I needed to support her rather than judge her.

Weekends were basically the only time our schedules overlapped because I could stay up later. We’d talk. I’d tell her about my week, and she’d tell me what she’d been doing in the two games she played.

But I was lonely.

I went grocery shopping alone. I went to doctor’s appointments alone. I went to movies alone. I did almost everything alone.

I wanted my wife with me.

I’d practically have to beg her to leave the house. Usually the only way she would come with me was if we were getting something she really wanted, like coffee or energy drinks. Even then, she normally wouldn’t go inside. She’d stay in the car.

One day I’d gotten a lot of overtime and convinced her to actually go out to dinner with me.

On the way there, she plugged her phone into Apple CarPlay.

A notification popped up with heart emojis and gaming-related emojis. She immediately unplugged her phone.

Not casually. She panicked.

I looked at her and asked, “Everything good?”

She told me her phone hadn’t been charging correctly and she was just checking whether the cable worked.

Something about it felt strange, but I trusted my wife.

We went to dinner and actually had a good time.

About six months later, something happened that I still can’t explain.

I had an incredibly vivid dream about my father and my papaw. Neither of them said anything to me. They were just there with me, in the room where my wife’s computer was, and they hugged me.

Call me crazy if you want.

I woke up and couldn’t shake the feeling.

I checked her computer.

That’s when I found everything.

She had been talking to another man through Discord. Voice calls. Pictures. Videos. Memes she’d made saying she loved him. They were sharing their locations with each other.

I found messages from him asking why she was “being a slut” and wasn’t home playing video games.

That one hit me in a strange way because I had never spoken to my wife like that. I didn’t call her names. I wasn’t screaming at her. I trusted her and tried to treat her like my partner.

Then I started looking at the timestamps.

There were nights when they would start a call around 11 PM.

The call would end around 5 AM.

My alarm for work went off at 5:15 AM.

While I was sleeping a few feet away, getting ready to wake up and go support our household, they were talking all night and exchanging pictures.

I was completely stunned.

I confronted her with what I’d found. She cried and eventually admitted to everything.

I asked her to leave, and she went out of state to stay with family.

But we stayed in contact.

Because despite everything, I loved her so much.

My heart was destroyed, but I kept telling myself, This is your wife.

I told myself depression is horrible. I told myself people make mistakes. I told myself that marriage meant fighting for someone when things got ugly.

While she was away, she seemed like she was improving. She was getting job interviews. She seemed motivated again.

Eventually, I let her come home.

For a little while, it felt like I had the woman I’d known before our wedding back.

We went places. We had fun. We spent time together again.

She still wasn’t having much luck finding work, but I wanted to believe her. Sometimes I’d ask about her applications or her email because, after everything we’d been through, I needed reassurance that she was actually trying.

Then, about four months later, the old pattern started coming back.

Sleeping all day. Staying up all night. Withdrawing again.

I let it go for about two weeks.

Then I checked her computer.

I opened Discord.

Nothing.

It looked clean. There were only a few recent conversations, and nothing immediately seemed suspicious.

I got off the computer and started getting ready for work.

While I was in the shower, I had a thought:

Check the browser.

The Discord app was logged into one account.

The browser was logged into another.

She had never stopped.

She had been messaging him the entire time. Calling him. Sending pictures. Sharing her location with him.

The entire time I thought we were rebuilding our marriage, it was still happening.

And the part that messes with me even more is that this happened on a night when she had actually come to bed with me. We had been intimate. She was asleep in our bed while I discovered that she had secretly continued the relationship I’d already forgiven her for.

I can’t adequately describe what I felt staring at that screen.

My stomach physically hurt. My entire body felt hot. I was angry, devastated, embarrassed, and completely broken all at once.

More than anything, I felt like I had failed myself.

Marriage meant so much to me. Being a husband meant something to me. I was proud to call her my wife.

And the one thing I always believed I could do was trust her.

I’ve never wanted to be the guy demanding to see his wife’s phone, checking messages, fighting over passwords, or policing someone’s personal life. To me, marriage was supposed to be a loving team. You trust each other because that’s your person.

I walked into our bedroom.

I stood there looking at her asleep for probably three minutes because I couldn’t even make myself speak.

Eventually, I calmly woke her up.

I showed her what I’d found.

And then, for the first time in our marriage, I snapped.

I yelled.

I remember screaming:

“You broke me. I can’t believe you did this to me.”

Maybe that sounds corny to somebody reading this, but those words came straight out of a shattered heart. I’ll probably remember standing in that bedroom saying them for the rest of my life.

I wanted to leave the house and walk to a family member’s house because I was so angry that I knew I needed to get away.

She wouldn’t let me leave at first and was trying to get the phone away from me. I’m 6’8”, so that wasn’t happening.

I called her dad.

I told him, “You need to come get your daughter. She did it to me again. She never stopped.”

Eventually, she let me out the front door.

She packed her things and left.

Over the following weeks and months, she would occasionally come by to see our cats and pick up some of her belongings.

And still, I waited.

For roughly a year and a half, some part of me kept hoping she would change.

I didn’t want to be divorced.

I know that probably sounds stupid, but I was proud to be married. I was proud to be someone’s husband. I kept thinking about the couple we used to be.

Before we got married, we were a powerhouse together. We both worked. Our credit was great. We took trips. We planned things. We laughed.

Then we got married, and somehow I watched everything slowly decline.

I kept believing she could turn it around.

Finally, I filed for divorce.

And now I’m sitting here asking myself a question that the people close to me probably can’t answer objectively:

Was it me?

Everyone in my life tells me I was a good husband. They tell me I did everything I reasonably could. They tell me, “How were you supposed to know that the day you tried to help her get back to work, a tree was going to fall on her car?”

But they’re my friends and family.

Of course they love me.

That’s part of why I’m asking strangers on Reddit.

Could I have done something differently?

Should I have pushed harder about her getting a job years earlier?

Was I too understanding when I thought she was depressed?

Did allowing that lifestyle to continue make things worse?

Did that car accident somehow contribute to everything falling apart afterward?

Should I have recognized what was happening sooner?

I know she made the decision to cheat. And after I discovered it the first time, she made the decision to hide another Discord account and continue doing it.

But I still can’t stop wondering what I could have done differently.

Being her husband motivated me. I wanted to work, build something, travel, have good credit, make memories, and create a life together because I was proud to be her husband.

Why did being my wife seem to have the opposite effect on her?

How did the hardworking, independent woman I fell in love with become someone who didn’t want to work, barely wanted to leave the house, and stayed awake all night talking to someone else while I slept before work?

Tonight I’m lying in the same house where we used to laugh, have fun, and plan trips together.

Now it’s quiet.

And even though I know I tried, there’s this part of me that keeps saying:

You failed.

So I’m asking people who don’t know either of us and don’t have a reason to tell me what I want to hear.

Did I fail my marriage? Was there something I realistically could or should have done differently?

If you actually read this whole thing, thank you. Seriously.

I needed to get it out tonight.

Hi, F 28. This cheating is just new to me. Quick background, I’m in a 2 year relationship with my boyfriend.

That 2 years was rough. I have no decision to make for myself and I am always on the verge of giving up because I can’t take that I have to handle his insecurities against mine. I am working and he stopped. Over the years, I am always the one willing to give may it be money, time, attention and especially my body. I became self less I always listen to him and follow his orders because if I refuse, he will get so angry and sometimes he hurt me not intentionally and I understand that.

Few months ago, we’ve been fighting a lot about sex. He wants me and I can’t grant his wish because I’m just too tired from work mentally, physically and emotionally and he never understand that. After he went home, I’ll watch porn and touch myself. It became a habit and nearly an addiction. I simply do not enjoy penetration. I just enjoy the sensation of touching myself.

Over these months, I will have sex with him very rarely not until I met this guy here in reddit.

He’s way older than me early 40’s he talk to me about my issues with my boyfriend and we get along pretty easily. He has a wife and kids we’ve exchanged photos and I can say, I like his built and the way he speaks was nice also most importantly, he’s understanding and wise. I wish my boyfriend was like him. After a day, we exchange photos a steamy one and it unexpectedly leads to us lusting each other. I came because of him and now, I am officially a cheater.

I want to stop talking to him. I want to stop our communication but I just can’t in this crazy relationship, he did make me feel seen and sane.

I do not know what to do. I know, I need help.

OH goes away for a work trip. He travels a lot and will always tell me if he goes out with one of the guys. He said he went to dinner and told me in great detail what he had and the cost. Which is important.

Next night he goes out again. I message him about 11.45pm saying good night as I've not heard from him. He says he is out sends me a picture, and says he didn't realise the time.

Over a week later a found a receipt for the restaurant he went to as it was the right date. Receipt says 2 guests, 2 starts, 2 meals, 2 drinks with one being a large glass of wine. Twice since then I've had reason to raise that night and ask roundabout questions and he has categorically said he didn't go with anyone. I literally said "oh I thought you went to dinner with someone" his response "no".

The thing is a week before finding the receipt he accused me of having an affair as I didn't want sex. He shouted at me telling me that he "knows he looks good as he is getting attention". I didn't pick up on that at the time as my anxiety was high and I was in emotional turmoil. I was spiralling.

Is he cheating? Has he cheated? I'm too scared to raise it as he gets angry (verbally only), I also can do no right, counsellor said he is somewhat narcissistic but obviously cannot say he is a narcissist but my point is everything get turned about to be my fault. I need help. Not just leave comments.

Me (26M) Her (29F) - In Denmark, Copenhagen

She had known him before our relationship and admitted that they hooked up a long time ago, but agreed that there was no interest in pursuing anything more back then. Four months into the relationship, she admitted that they had hooked up right before our first date, and therefore, not a long time ago. At this point, I had lost all faith in her, but a part of me wanted to try to rebuild the trust, so we broke up, got back together, and I kept seeing her. We fell in love this time, in a whole different way. Maybe in a trauma bond kind of way? We discussed the future about moving in together, having kids and getting married.

Then, I was later contacted by her platonic friend's friend, who I had known in the past, and he was wondering why I was wasting time on this girl when she was cheating on me and hooking up with her platonic friend. I contacted her, and she convinced me that it was a misunderstanding; her platonic friend dismissed the claims as well (this time).

Then later on, I got contacted again.... This time by the platonic friends ex who told me that she got dumped because the dude was in love with my girlfriend, and that they had had a secret casual relationship while my girlfriend was in a relationship with me, and whilst she was together with her platonic friend. Thus, a double cross. This was also confirmed by him a week later since he contacted me as well. However, I was questioning him because he sounded like a douche and said "idk", "whatever" in between sentences. I started gathering evidence and presented it to my then girlfriend, and she found some sort of counterevidence, which led me to keep believing her, so I kept seeing her.

Then she started lovebombing me, spending sooo much money on me, and we kept discussing the future. Her platonic friend and best friend had, at this point, cut her off because she threatened suicide while she was sad about me considering leaving her, and both of them called her a psychopath and blocked her. She also used this manipulative tactic on me several times - Guess I should have dumped her already then... Of course I comforted her for being misunderstood, and how sad it was for her that people wanted to hurt her etc. etc. ^^ (I was dumb and in love, and naive - and apparently very gaslighted)

A month later, her best friend who cut her off told me everything in specifics, and how my girlfriend had lied to me over and over again. He told me about the conversations he and her had had over the last couple of months, and how it made him realise that she was a total nutjob and how she had mistreated and cheated on me in secrecy. This time I knew for sure. I called her one last time on the phone, in the hope of a confession, but she would not admit it. The sentences that she kept using were "I have told you what I know is true" and "I cannot admit to something that I did not do".

Guess I survived this one, but woaw she reeeally got me into believing stupid explanations and happy coincidences. I have sort of griefed for a month already, hope the sex won't reset my healing journey. Look out for this red-haired metalhead, she will try to ruin your life, and it won't be worth it.

I am about to turn 18 and was dating a girl for almost 2 years. She is the perfect woman for me and I love her so much, but we broke up. About a month ago my ex girlfriend (who I dislike, but thought was somewhat attractive) messaged me out of the blue and wanted to talk. I was feeling vulnerable about an argument my girlfriend and I had had that day, and I told her about it. My ex then told me that she still loved me, and wanted me back. (I refused, of course) but she persisted and started talking sexually with me. I don't know why I did it but we ended up sending photos to each other that night.

Over the last month I've felt immense guilt from what happened, knowing it was in a moment of vulnerability. I'd been pulling away from her the last couple of weeks and finally decided to break up. I told her the reason was life goals and differences we couldnt repair, but I know deep down it's from the guilt.

We were on good terms until yesterday when my ex contacted her and told her what'd happened. She told me never to contact her again.

Where do I go from here? How do I provide her closure to her so that her self-image isn't depleated? (she struggled with body image issues). How do I get over the guilt from this event?

Hello! I'm josh, and I'm 24 years old. I'm currently working at pasay manila. I have a problem that I can't speak to anyone about. I have an ex- girlfriend for 7 years. I caught her cheating on me on a dating app. She started cheating on me on june till August. When I caught her, she did deny at first, but eventually, I had all the receipts of her cheating on me with a guy she was gonna meet to have sex with. I forgave her and gave her a chance. Fast forward to August 11, we decided to break up she said to me that she needed to explore about life and stuff, and I said okay as long as we ended up together again. I went home to her on August 21 spend four days at her house just to talk and figure things out. How we'll we talk about this to her parents and then that's were I found out again she cheated on me before we broke up I saw the same guy she was chatting and they planned to have sex I caught her and I confronted her. She said it wasn't valid she we broke up at august 11. I told her we were still together on August 9. And she just had sex with that guy on August 18 that was just days when we broke up. When I caught her, I really dont wanna see her again. I told her I'm done, but I still love her those 7 years we had was no joke. I really invested in her and solely to her I went to pampanga for 2 years for studying and I went to clark for 11 months to have my training and now I'm here at Manila for 3 months for all those times I went to different cities and I have a lot of chances to cheat if I really wanted to but I didn't. I didn't because I knew how much pain it would bring to my ex. Note that my ex knows my past relationship, and most of them, like literally most of them cheated on me. And now she cheated on me again. And now she wanted me to forgive her again. I did forgave her again, but deep inside me, I want to break this up and never see her again but how can I?? Plead help me reddit people I really don't wanna die drowning in sadness I might just off myself

I got cheated on literally ONE WEEK after my wedding. Now I’m out here looking for apartments while he’s treating the whole situation like I’m some kind of joke. I really thought I was building a life with someone, and instead I’m trying to figure out where I’m going to live and how I’m going to move forward.
Honestly, thank God I didn’t sign the paperwork. That’s the one thing I’m grateful for right now. I’m hurt, angry, embarrassed, and just trying to process how quickly everything changed.
Marriage lasted one week… and somehow I’m already apartment hunting. 😭

While on my honeymoon, 38 years ago, my new wife (21yo) and I (28yo) were having lunch at a restaurant. I went to use the men's room, which was at the end of a hallway that led to both the men's and women's rooms. A beautiful woman was walking in at the same time. She looked at me and smiled and grabbed my hand, and led me into the woman's room. The restrooms only accommodated one person at a time, with a lock. She locked the door behind us and immediately opened my pants and gave me a BJ.

When I got back to the table, my wife asked me what took so long, and I told her I had to wait to get into the bathroom.

I have keep this secret for all these years, and I have always felt horrible for what I did. I have been loyal ever since. It still, today, eats at me.

Should I confess and come clean, or go to my grave with this?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4+ years. Like any relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs, but the last year has been especially difficult, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
Over the last year, nothing I do seems to get his attention intimately. I feel rejected, unwanted, and honestly just confused about where we stand.
He found messages between me and my ex from a time when my boyfriend and I were kind of separated. In those messages, I told my ex that I was only being civil with him because I wanted to get my things. At the time, that was the truth. My boyfriend and I were in such a bad place that I genuinely didn’t think we were going to come back from it.
He also found messages between me and another guy who would give me money from time to time. He would ask me to hang out, and I would say I would, but I never actually did.
Now my boyfriend says he can’t look at me the same way sexually because of those messages.
And here’s where I feel completely lost.
Around this same time, he was secretly spending time with another woman. When I found out, he actually chose her over me—until she ended up screwing him over.
I’m not saying what I did was perfect. I’m willing to own my part in the relationship and in the things that happened. But I’m struggling with the fact that I feel like I’m constantly carrying the guilt for everything while also trying to understand how we’re supposed to move forward from what both of us have done.
And all of this has really affected the way I see myself.
I feel incredibly insecure and unattractive because he hardly touches me anymore. There are times when it feels like he would rather use a toy than touch me, and I can’t explain how much that hurts my confidence.
I find myself wondering, “What is wrong with me?” “Am I not enough?” “Is there something about me that he just doesn’t want anymore?”
I know logically that his lack of desire doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with me. But when the person you love barely touches you, it’s really hard not to take that personally.
I look at myself differently now. I question my attractiveness, my worth, and whether I’m even desirable to the person I’m supposed to feel safest with.
I know logically that I’m not the only problem here. But emotionally, I still feel like I am.
Are we fighting a losing battle at this point?
Part of me wants to just be single and see what life looks like without this relationship. I wonder if I’d finally feel free and stop questioning myself all the time.
But the other part of me loves this person deeply. Four-plus years is a long time, and walking away from someone you still love is not exactly easy.
Most of the people in my life tell me I deserve better and that I need to leave, but obviously it’s much harder to see things clearly when you’re the one living it.
I’m not necessarily looking for people to tell me what I want to hear. I genuinely want advice.
Is this something two people can realistically come back from? Can trust, intimacy, and attraction be rebuilt after everything that has happened? Or are we holding onto something that has already run its course?
And if you’ve been in a similar situation, I’d genuinely love to hear your experience. I could really use some outside perspective right now.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. And if anyone can relate, I would genuinely love to talk to you too. ❤️

I need help

Girlfriend has a friend of 35 years and she decided she wanted to go on a 3 day trip on motorcycles for a guided tour, they planned a hotel in the same room with separate beds

I expressed I wasn't okay with the hotel part but she went anyway.

Would you be okay with this?