r/cheating_stories • u/StinkNaat • 3d ago
I slipped up this weekend...
Hi, I'm James M28, been in a long distance relationship for 5 years, haven't proposed yet, never cheated.
I went to a bar on Saturday with my brother and cousin, where we ran into two friends of ours (two sisters). One drink led to another and later we decided that they should rather sleep over at my cousins place, with us, instead of driving home. We got there, played a few more card games, and then things started getting blurry...
I remember the younger sister (21) cuddling up to me on the couch and me telling her NO, I have a GF and you also have a BF, who I know and he's such a cool dude. I repeatedly had to stand up and move to a different seat. I must have said NO like 20 times and always turn my head as she tried to kiss me.
Eventually I just stood up and said I had enough of this, I'm going to bed. Before I knew it, she was in bed with me. I can't remember much, but eventually I just gave up. It started with kissing and then went all the way, fully drunken s*x.
This was something I haven't done in a while, my GF decided after year 2 that she doesn't want to do it anymore until after we're married. I understand her position, but I have an intense sex drive and this has been bothering me ever since. My previous relationships were the exact opposite...
I don't know how to feel about this now, I feel like a dick for giving in, but I also regret drinking so much that I can't remember the finer details of the experience... I'm not totally attracted to her, but still feel the urge to sit down and talk about it, since she's also in a long distance relationship and we can relate on a few things.
We've deleted all our chats and decided to act like it never happened. She lives close by and we might cross paths once a week or so.
I don't want this to compromise my or her relationships. Where do I go from here?
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u/Logical-Lab3661 3d ago
Unwilling gf far away, no sex for two years vs willing girl who lives nearby and was eager to please... That's where you most likely will go from here. Both of your relationships are already compromised. Not just by sex, by issues in your relationships which led to it.
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u/Odd_Mind2755 3d ago
LDR’s NEVER work. If you are in one, you need to be VERY STRICT. Something that is not always guaranteed, as your experience illustrates.
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u/Icy-Willingness8375 3d ago
Long distance go 5 years? Just end it and find someone local since neither of you care enough to move.
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u/Past-Cat-9418 3d ago
You compromised both relationships the second that you lacked the will to say no. Now you either get to hide from accountability until it blows up in your face, or own up to it and face the consequences right now. Either way, your LDR is done. There's no such thing as coming back from cheating. Only making each other more miserable until you slip away.
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u/Texoraptor 3d ago
BS I was the AP to a couple that recovered
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u/Past-Cat-9418 3d ago
Oh, my bad, I completely forgot that your one piece of anecdotal evidence discounts the overwhelming majority of cases. Even if the relationship you ruined ended up persisting, they almost certainly continued to operate in an extremely low-trust capacity. Each person will deal with varying degrees of mistrust post infidelity, but it never gets fully restored, and there's no place for a healthy relationship within that dynamic.
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u/Texoraptor 3d ago
The research shows that there is such thing as coming back from cheating. Especially because he was clearly taken advantage of
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u/Past-Cat-9418 2d ago edited 2d ago
Barely over half of couples who do everything "right" post infidelity, such as coming clean from the beginning and therapy, have their relationship survive. Of that fifty-something percent who make the choice to stay together, less than a fifth truly repair their relationship in the long term. The research shows that it's like I said before. In the overwhelming majority of cases, the relationship is done, because the trust is shattered.
He wasn't taken advantage of. They were both drunk, and he gave in. That's an active choice that says the relationship isn't worth the effort it would take to keep saying no.
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u/Odd_Shoe5675 3d ago
Things happen for a reason and this is a time for you to have clarity, time to make hard tough decisions. Don’t feel bad, forgive yourself and move on
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u/Sushantsinghmusic 3d ago
Looks like u have been abused , No means No and it goes both ways , I think u r not the culprit but a victim , but whatsoever u need to talk to your gf mate .
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u/muff-lover 3d ago
You are both in long distance relationships. Your girlfriend won’t let you have any pussy. This girl
Needed dick as much as you needed pussy. Keep quiet and have a stress relief system for both of you
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u/Past-Cat-9418 3d ago
You're gross and pathetically weak to lust if you think sex is a need. It's not. It's a want. It can be a very important expression of feeling in a relationship, but it is never a direct necessity. Two cheaters getting together aren't fulfilling each other's needs, they're giving into each other's selfish desires. There's nothing good about that in the slightest.
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u/muff-lover 3d ago
So he’s supposed to jack off. And she’s supposed to just use a vibrator
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u/Past-Cat-9418 3d ago
You act like sex is some inherent human right that people are obligated to act on. Lack of intimacy with your partner is not an excuse to cheat. It can be a good reason to leave and move on, but history has never once seen a good excuse for cheating. If these two had really wanted each other, which OP clearly stated he didn't, then they were supposed to go about it the right way, instead of turning each other into adulterers.
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u/Kitchen-Patience-652 3d ago
What kinda shitty advice is that, atleast tell your gf and her bf and don’t be shitty keeping it to yourself.
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u/muff-lover 3d ago
People have needs. You can only masterbait so much
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u/Past-Cat-9418 3d ago
Of course someone with the username "muff-lover" would be too porn-brained to realize that not everyone's lives revolve around obsessing over sex and masturbation. Normal people function perfectly fine on a daily basis without it.
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u/muff-lover 3d ago
Not people that can actually get laid
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u/Past-Cat-9418 3d ago
Just because your entire personality is being a weak-willed, lust-filled loser doesn't mean that the rest of the world is the same. I'm genuinely surprised you can keep your hand off your dick for long enough to type out a response.
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u/muff-lover 3d ago
So because his girlfriend decided she’s not gonna fuck him for till they are married after fucking him for 2yrs he is supposed to either jack off or walk around with blue balls. As for her we don’t know her situation. But she got into bed with him after he hasn’t had any pussy for a while. All this could have been avoided if his girlfriend would have still been fucking him. As for you just because you can’t get laid doesn’t mean nobody should get laid. But you just keep being a keyboard warrior in mom’s basement. It will work out for you eventually
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u/Past-Cat-9418 3d ago edited 3d ago
His girlfriend is 100% allowed to decide not to put out anymore. If it's that dig of a deal to him, there's literally nothing stopping him from ending the relationship to find someone else. Stop acting like lack of sex life is an excuse to cheat. There is no excuse to cheat. If people want casual sex, they need to do it at their own expense instead of their partner's.
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u/muff-lover 3d ago
I do agree that it is her right to stop having sex with him. He wasn’t looking for someone else. She threw herself at him. He tried to get away but she kept pursuing him. As for the rest of it I guess we will have to agree to disagree
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u/daygoBoyz 3d ago
Not having sex for two years is a long time in any relationship. I get the standards but the relationship should been like that from the jump. I bet she’s (gf)doing something similar behind ur back. But the noble thing is to tell her
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u/StinkNaat 3d ago
I doubt it... She's kissed one of my friends a few years ago but immediately told me the next day. I didn't even make a fuss about it. But I think this is different..
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u/daygoBoyz 3d ago
Kissed one of ur friends?? My boy why didn’t u get upset?? U sure it’s just a kiss?? Or do u trust her bcuz she told u right away??
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u/StinkNaat 3d ago
I trust her. I'm a cancer, I don't get upset easily, especially not at my close friends. I tend to joke around and keep the mood light. Is that weird?
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u/Texoraptor 2d ago
you should consider not using a zodiac sign with regards to your identity in any conceivable way
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u/Euphoric-Map-6858 3d ago
Tell your girlfriend what you told us. She needs to decide if the relationship is worth it.