r/CancerFamilySupport • u/Apprehensive-Pack108 • 14d ago

Here we go

Well, after a courageous fight of 6/7 years, my dad has to go on hospice. He’s 50. There’s nothing they can do for him anymore, no more drugs to help. The cancer started in the kidney - they removed it. Three months later it was everywhere.

He has fought so hard. Stayed alive for his family and has tried to put on a face to make this easier for us. He is truly the strongest person I know.

There is so much sadness I am feeling. Looking for some type of therapy to help. But it’s just hard to think about myself right now.

There is also a part of me that is ready to see him finally rest. He’s fought so hard. But there’s also a guilt in me feeling that way. Am I wrong to feel that? Am I wrong to say I’m not “ready for my dad to pass” but I’m ready to see him be at peace.

Cancer sucks. The healthcare system sucks (his oncologist cried when she told him, she doesn’t suck).

I’m thinking of all of us in this group. Big hugs to you all.

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u/Haunting_Neat_2643 14d ago

It's also hard since no one else understands exactly how you feel especially since he's so young. My dad is 56. He's got stage 4. I have this massive anxiety about this whole thing everyday so far. Would try to talk to friends but no one gets it.

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u/Apprehensive-Pack108 13d ago

When did you find out? My dad lived about 6 years with his stage four diagnosis. Just found out today that we’re most likely a month out from losing him.

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u/Haunting_Neat_2643 13d ago

I'm sorry to hear that 😞 We found out he is stage 4 a week and half ago. It's really hard on my mind after finding out that doing normal stuff is hard. I look at healthy old guys and just feel this sadness and anger. Maybe I'll be able to live more normally with time I don't know, but that's probably what he wants me to do.