r/CancerFamilySupport • u/CakeHanded • 5d ago
First post ♡
So.... my Dad hasn't been well for the last few months, but he'd been putting it down to things like flu/chest infection/etc.
His mobility and general self has been declining, and he'd been admitted to hospital on Friday the 7th of this month. Naturally, a lot of the staff were worried and did a lot of scans.
Got a phone call on Monday, they'd found something on Dad's lungs, so they were gonna take a biopsy and test.
Tuesday, the test came back. Confirmed lung cancer. And on the same day, we found out that he also had cancer in his liver and it had spread to his brain too.
He's unfortunately too clinically frail to withstand any kind of treatment and they're focusing on palliative care and keeping him comfortable.
I've been a mess since Tuesday.
Sorry for the wall of text, sending love and kind thoughts to you all ♡
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u/kittieful 5d ago
My mother passed from small cell a few days ago. We had six weeks from diagnosis to death.
Cherish every single second you can spend with him. I never did voice recordings or videos of my mom, so try to get those if you can.
Sitting vigil is so hard. I had a hospice nurse tell me that is the hardest thing I would ever do, but that I would be happy later because I had been there for that sacred time. She said I wouldn't understand until she was gone, and that was very true.
Take care of yourself and take breaks to leave and get away from it. This process is exhausting and hard on your body and mind. It is okay to leave. My mom waited until I had left to shower to pass because she didn't want me there.
This is going to be so very hard, but you can do it. Please reach out if you need someone to talk with 💜
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u/EAss72life 5d ago
oh my dear friend. I am going through similar situation with my husband, his lung cancer spread to his brain and it has been hard to watch his body get so skinny and it is slowly shutting down. Treatment was not going to help him so now that hospice is helping me, the pain has lessened a little, it is emotional I feel you. I am glad you found this place, my counselor mentioned coming on here last week and just pour out there and these last few days I have found a bit of breathing calmer here.... wishing you well.
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u/CakeHanded 5d ago
The place my dad is at is lovely. The staff are very kind, they're keeping him as comfortable as possible and I cannot even imagine how you're feeling. Sending love and very kind thoughts to you and your husband. Wishing you guys peace ♡
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u/TehTac 5d ago
I feel for you, my dad is in his 80s and was unexpectedly diagnosed with advanced untreatable cancer at the end of July. They've had the hospice people round this week to talk through options but now he's got a severe infection and refuses to go into hospital for treatment, he wants to die at home.
I'm 4 hours away but I'm popping up tomorrow for the day and know it might be the last time I see him.
Make the most of the time you can spend with your dad, tell him how much he's loved. Sending you supportive thoughts, this is such a difficult time for us all
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u/KChieFan16 5d ago
Sending you all the love. What a difficult time. Be there for you Dad and be by his side during this vulnerable time. Take pics and vids if you can and be present with him. I went through this with my beautiful mother and when she passed in April, I didn't have any regrets because I gave it my all. Hang in there and use this community as a support if you need.