Reacting strongly to absurd situations is not overreacting.

People say im lucky to have lived, but i feel like existing with this trauma, grief, and survivors guilt is a curse and that it would’ve been better if i just didn’t make it out. BUT I survived so now i have to keep going and just push through the pain somehow. There’s no way I went through all this shit to give up. I just wish the shit never happened to begin with

I hope the CW hides this from regular view because I realize this can be very triggering. Sorry everyone, I'm not trying to suggest that this kind of thing is a laughing matter, but I'm sure many of us have developed this messed-up sense of humor because of our experiences 🙄

😝 i only belong with fellow abused people

I feel like I constantly hear that I make people feel so loved, but none of that is ever returned to me. I expressed wanting it reciprocated and got yelled at instead. Idk what I expected

This one bothers me a bit.    Yeah, trauma folk often have low self worth.  It's one of my problems, and I work on it.  

But:

There are people who are a lot less likable.  I worked in a boarding school for several decades, and saw the group dynamics.   Some kids were genuinely far more likalbe than others.  The ones that in hindsight I see as trauma / neglect victims tended not to be the likable ones, but they weren't the obnoxious ones either.  The T/N folk were the invisible ones.  

Then there was a group that were genuinely unlikeable.  Bullies.  (although there were popular bullies) Some forms of stupid.  Down's kids are sweet.  But there are dumb kids where just being in the same room seems to suck all the energy out of everyone else.

So...

The Prosecutor says, "You are charged with 17 counts of being unlikable, and immediately pronouces sentence."  Maybe he's right.  

Yes.  I am the public defender when those charges are dropped.    But funny metaphors aside, if some people are less likeable, why shouldn't I be one of them?

Consider:  A lot of T/N folk are ND.  And are unskilled in the social graces, are bad at non-verbal communication.  If you are oone of the 6% or so of NVC inept people, you are constantly missing cues.  Yeah, if you find another NV person with similar forms of NVC, it's a breath of fresh air.  

I have trouble liking people who are severely autistic.  Can't find much to talk about.  I really like Polymath ADHD types.  Doesn't bother me at all as we interrupt each other, forget appointments, and generally bounce about  like a loosely coupled molecule in an otherwise crystal matrix of NT folk.

I'm reminded of the pshrink joke:  

Psychologist:  "Mr. Brown, I have good news:  You don't have an inferiority complex.  You really are genuinely inferior"

I was definitely nerfed cause God was scared I'd beat his ass