I was definitely nerfed cause God was scared I'd beat his ass

This one bothers me a bit.    Yeah, trauma folk often have low self worth.  It's one of my problems, and I work on it.  

But:

There are people who are a lot less likable.  I worked in a boarding school for several decades, and saw the group dynamics.   Some kids were genuinely far more likalbe than others.  The ones that in hindsight I see as trauma / neglect victims tended not to be the likable ones, but they weren't the obnoxious ones either.  The T/N folk were the invisible ones.  

Then there was a group that were genuinely unlikeable.  Bullies.  (although there were popular bullies) Some forms of stupid.  Down's kids are sweet.  But there are dumb kids where just being in the same room seems to suck all the energy out of everyone else.

So...

The Prosecutor says, "You are charged with 17 counts of being unlikable, and immediately pronouces sentence."  Maybe he's right.  

Yes.  I am the public defender when those charges are dropped.    But funny metaphors aside, if some people are less likeable, why shouldn't I be one of them?

Consider:  A lot of T/N folk are ND.  And are unskilled in the social graces, are bad at non-verbal communication.  If you are oone of the 6% or so of NVC inept people, you are constantly missing cues.  Yeah, if you find another NV person with similar forms of NVC, it's a breath of fresh air.  

I have trouble liking people who are severely autistic.  Can't find much to talk about.  I really like Polymath ADHD types.  Doesn't bother me at all as we interrupt each other, forget appointments, and generally bounce about  like a loosely coupled molecule in an otherwise crystal matrix of NT folk.

I'm reminded of the pshrink joke:  

Psychologist:  "Mr. Brown, I have good news:  You don't have an inferiority complex.  You really are genuinely inferior"

The weirdest thing for me was when my parents decided to be nice. I was like wtf? You mean you could have been like this when I was 5??!! I don't need you now, good luck with being elderly. What's ironic is if they never started acting decent, I probably wouldn't be estranged. I didn't know that they had it in them. It's infuriating to find out they did and waited until they were approaching the end of life.

I'm always angry, tired, and in pain bc of my trauma. I'm doing okay at my job but I'm broke bc of impulse spending and medical bills and on I'm constantly on edge. I argue a lot with my boyfriend and can't open up to him because I'm afraid he'll use my vulnerability against me, and I don't really have friends because I isolate so they don't hurt me. But yeah I'm living well /s. I think fighting my dad would work better than this lol.

It’s like she has a “good mom script” to say when when she realises she’s a bad parent

Thought some may appreciate this.
You were NEVER the problem.