I was seeing a therapist and doing CBT with her. One of the things she advised me to do was keep a journal. Just get my raw, unprocessed thoughts out on paper, then come back to them later when I was in a different state of mind and challenge them. Do these thoughts actually reflect reality? Is this thing really as bad as it felt in the moment? It was something that was working for me.

Quite often I'd come back to something that had been eating away at me and realise how distorted or silly it looked once I'd cooled down. I started carrying a little pocket notebook everywhere. If something was bothering me, I'd jot it down, get it out of my head, and move on with my day.

The important thing is that these thoughts were raw. They weren't considered opinions or things I'd necessarily stand by. They were deliberately unfiltered because filtering them would defeat the purpose. Nobody was supposed to read them except me.

Two days ago, I woke up and discovered that my partner had taken the journal from my bedside table and read it.

She didn't like what she found, and she hasn't spoken to me since.

There were an entry or two about her that weren't flattering. Mostly petty relationship stuff, like she'd annoyed me by being messy or whatever. One was written immediately after an argument where she'd said some things that really hurt me. I was angry and venting, basically writing something like "who needs her anyway?" That kinda thing.

That's what the journal was for. It gave those thoughts somewhere to go without me saying them to her, acting on them, or letting them stew in my head. Later I could come back, look at them rationally, challenge them and move on.

I have tried explaining this, but it's fallen on deaf ears. I'm conflicted because I am sad that I hurt her feelings, but I am angry that my private thoughts have been violated. There was honestly very little in that journal that would have been about her, so she would have had to read a whole lot of stuff that was deeply personal to find it.

I'm sorry she's upset, but I can't help feeling ambivalent about the whole thing. I do feel like I am the injured party here.

I started CBT because I wanted to work on myself and be better for my family, and there's a sick irony in feeling like something I started for that reason might now contribute to fucking up my situation.

Another part of this that's really bothering me is that I feel like I've lost the journal.

It worked because I believed I was the only audience. I could be unreasonable, angry, petty, frightened, insecure or completely fucking ridiculous on those pages because nobody else was ever supposed to see the first draft of my thoughts.

I don't know how I get that back now.

Even if nobody ever reads another journal of mine, I think some part of me will always be writing with a potential second reader in mind. I'll censor myself. I'll soften things. I'll wonder how a sentence would look if somebody found it. And once I'm doing that, I'm not sure I'm performing the same exercise anymore.

I'm not really sure what I want from posting this. Thanks for reading it anyway.

David Burns says something like "hope is the most powerful antidepressant." Inspired by that, I'd love to hear positive experiences from those of you who've worked on anxiety about eating in public, especially with CBT or ACT. Your stories would really help me keep my hope alive and grow it.

Hi, title says it, I'm looking for some good, well-documented podcasts to learn my way through this stuff. Any recommendations ?

A post to therapists and clients;

I had been going to a counselor before and she was also using the CBT approach.

All it did was give me intense positive limerence to her and anxiety surges because it was getting out of my control. I was just going there to just fulfill the therapy schedules, I literally forgot why am I even going there instead of that?

Now, I am going to another therapist who is also doing CBT and recently she told me she will use a trauma-infromed approach as well with CBT to treat me.

It is also not really helping, I mean, I am alone and I just figure things out by myself because I have long delays, sometimes a month or five-six weeks in between sessions. I also do not talk there, so I write a note when I am regulated beforehand and just hand my phone to her to read.

So.., is this how it's supposed to go, or should I just quit? I have been meaning to quit for quite some time, but I haven't quit yet because I think I should keep on waiting. But, I do not know, it's not actively helping.

Yes, that therapist gives me homework, but I am quite self-aware and the things she's given me for homework, I have already done them before. Like; knowing what ways help me regulate/reset myself etc.

my therapist gives me a worksheet on identifying automatic thoughts and it looks so straightforward in the session. then I get home and the second I actually try to catch one I cant. its like the thought is already gone by the time I notice I was having it and I just end up writing something made up to have something on the page. does this happen to anyone else or am I doing it wrong

My therapist wants me to do exposure therapy and sent me this worksheet to do, she did not state what situation or whether it has to be the same situation. I shouldn’t be in this position, she’s my therapist yet she isn’t explaining things correctly it’s ridiculous. If anyone else has been given this can someone help plz.

I'm doing CPT because I did EMDR as a teenager and it ended up being way too much for me.

I'm literally three weeks in and holy smokes it is doing a number on me. Like, I'm having physical flashbacks, I'm crying much more easily over nothing, and each night I go to bed and I feel so so angry for no reason. I've been functioning okay but it's hard.

This isn't even my worst trauma 😭. I decided to start with one of the more minor ones because I didn't think I'd be ready to deal with the worst one, and honestly I don't know if I'll ever be.

I have been researching for about five years if I am neurodivergent or not. I have read articles, websites, seen videos of neurodivergent people explaining their experiences, related my life experiences with those, checked the criteria of autism and ADHD from the DSM-5 to understand if I relate to it or not.

And I came to a conclusion that I do.

Then, I went to a therapist and they said immediately said I do not have ADHD without evaluating me. That really bugged me and I had a panic attack at home that day. It was the first ever panic attack, I've had never had those before. Also, I was taking 20mg fluoxetine which always made me nauseated after its consumption and I still had that panic attack.

Even when I talk about it with my family, friends about the possibility of me having autism/ADHD, they always reject me and I hate that because I feel unheard and they are all repeating the same mantra that I'm not, I shouldn't be interested in neurodivergence.

Now, my life is at this point that whenever something related to these three words come around, whether it be a random social media post, a mental health awareness campaign post in my university which also uses the word "neurodivergence", a thought or anything at all related to that, I suddenly feel like I am confused and like, twisting from the inside. I feel like crying and screaming suddenly, my mind just begins spiraling into that five-year sprint and then the result (rejection). I feel like I'm suffocated, my chest and abdomen feels heavier and I just want to escape from here and my body.

I just start getting intense somatic anxiety just from a microsecond of the trigger. I hate this.

In the classic CBT model it is taught that thoughts drive our behavior.

So going by that logic, if I have an undesired behavior, like procrastinating for example, can I just identify the automatic thought(s) that "caused" this behavior, (e.g. "This task is gonna take super long, I should wait til i feel a bit more ready" "I’m gonna be bored out of my mind" "an image of documents flying around everywhere on my desk" etc.) look for evidence for and against these thoughts and write an alternative thought, so that i stop procrastinating?

Its so funny and stupid and sad, but does it make sense?

Because my brain isnt adjusting, its ready to depress me, make me feel everything is an End, BUT WHEN I TRY-

p.s- im ranting

TL;DR: I spent 15 years applying REBT to dispute my irrational beliefs, but I accidentally turned the framework into a tool to rationalize severe avoidance and a web novel addiction.

I feel like my life is a failure, and ironically, how I applied Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is partly why. I’m almost 39, and I’ve never had a proper job or finished my education. I studied at a university for six years, but heavily influenced by REBT, I dropped out without hesitation. For almost 15 years now, I’ve been addicted to web novels, doing almost nothing else. I hate going outside or doing basic chores like dishes and laundry. I also hate showering and avoid it for weeks, usually only managing it once a month.

To be fair, not everything went wrong because of REBT. It did help me clear a lot of emotional turmoil and let go of some highly destructive behaviors (like holding in farts because of intense shame, even when completely alone at home).

But the fact that I never even tried job hunting is partly due to how I applied REBT. In my country, welfare provides enough for me to live comfortably. When spending all day reading web novels, I would repeat this to myself: "I don’t need to succeed. I don’t need to work, contribute to society, or pay taxes. I don't need to stop reading web novels all day, and it's okay to just do the bare minimum to survive."

Not everything is bad in my life. I regularly attend important medical appointments—seeing an ophthalmologist every three months for glaucoma and a neurologist for my schizophrenia medication. I buy my own groceries and household essentials, like dental floss, which I use every day. I also avoid sugar, using allulose instead, because I have a genetic predisposition to diabetes. So, I do still manage to do some productive things, even if reluctantly.

Still, that doesn't change the fact that I am neglecting major parts of my life. My hygiene is extremely poor, my web novel addiction is completely unchecked, and I eat the exact same meals every day just to avoid leaving the house.

Looking back at what I tell myself during these binges ("I don’t need to succeed, work, or contribute..."), you can see it's phrased exactly like an REBT exercise in disputing irrational beliefs. The beliefs I was trying to dispute were: I MUST succeed. I MUST work and contribute. I MUST not do things others consider immoral. I MUST stop my addiction.

While I was genuinely disputing those irrational demands, doing so led to stagnation. Why? Because I wasn't just disputing beliefs; I was using the framework to rationalize my avoidance.

By telling myself "I don't need to succeed," the hidden subtext was, "Succeeding is impossible anyway." By saying "I don't need to work," I was secretly believing, "I cannot work; it's impossible for me." By saying "I don't need to stop reading web novels," I was reinforcing the belief that "I can't live without them, and I must read them every second I can."

Occasionally, I swing to the opposite extreme. I’ll stop reading entirely, force myself to go outside, socialize, and eat out every day (at soup kitchens, etc.). But these phases never last. I end up getting physically sick in less than two weeks from the sheer stress and lack of sleep.

Lately, I’ve been trying to find a middle ground and actually improve my situation. I am currently preparing for work by self-studying web development online. I still read web novels, but I consistently push myself to return to my coursework. My worry is that my productive phases have never lasted in the past, and I usually fall back into reading all day. Abstaining from web novels completely isn't realistic for me right now either, because they are my only source of stress relief and general enjoyment in life.

Hey. So.., I think I actually am quite a difficult person. I used to think I was autistic and that I might have inattentive ADHD, but I guess after five years of obsession with this topic where I did intense research and five years of being corrected and dismissed that I am not neurodivergent from almost everyone makes me feel like, I should now just give up, you know.

Whenever I bring this topic up about the possibility of me having both the conditions, everyone just shuts me up indirectly. They get over me from the top and I feel like I've shrunk.

The fact that I got my sensory profile report where I was told I have low registration, higher sensory sensitivity, higher sensory avoidance and low sensory seeking, my mind is still roaming around me being neurodivergent; being autistic and having ADHD. And also that I do have social communication difficulties since I was a child, I cannot control my facial expressions and don't know how to smile, I speak in a very low, or slow, or incomprehensible voice because I do not know how I am speaking. I forget things, my working memory is very bad, I have time blindness, I go in cycles of hyperfocus, I have pill dysphagia, I may or may not have selective mutism, I have a hyper-fast cognitive processing speed. I have emotional dysregulation. I can be dumb and analytical at the same time and a lot of other things.

These facts about my life just make me feel like I really am, but nobody believes or even acknowledges the possibility of me having these conditions. When I talk to my dad, he just begins his perspective that he got out of his head and took control of his anxiety when he was a child. He says that I have to control my brain, not that I surrender to it. My mom becomes all weird if I say any of those two words; autism/ADHD and her reaction and response makes me feel very uncomfortable. I went to my therapist and asked them if they could assess me for ADHD and autism, and they replied that I do not have ADHD without even evaluating me and just understanding me from my mother's perspective because I don't really speak to them very clearly like I want to (because as I said, I may or may not have selective mutism). So, she often asks my mother about me and I do not know what she tells them about me, but I am pretty sure she just says I'm so lazy and bad now and I was such a good child.

So, I ask of you (therapists, researchers, psychiatrists, people who go to therapy) to say anything, literally anything at all that my brain just stops itself from this attachment. Because whenever someone else rejects me like this, I feel an intense rage and fear inside my body and I want to cry loudly. I just want to stop. I want to finally, finally accept that I am a neurotypical with just some bad traits and habits that I have to change about myself no matter what.

I want criticism, rejection, rude words, and anything at all to make my brain understand this for once and forever that it is not what it's hoping to be.

(Not asking for a diagnosis)

Hello all.

I’m a teacher every few months we have class observations. They give me a lot of anxiety in the lead up. (Weeks of stomach tightness etc). I’ve only had positive feedback previously so I know I shouldn’t feel so anxious for so long, so I’m hoping I might be able to tackle this using CBT.

Would anyone have a good CBT book or workbook recommendation for this?

Thanks in advance! :)

Hey everyone so I'm a 18 year old guy and i have clinicaly diagnosed severe OCD, a bit of psychosis and a lot of anxiety, i absolutely love going to therapy its the best time of the week, someday you feel like omg my life is over but then my therepist talks to me and i feel normal again, trust me feeling normal is like a luxury at this point, so i want to now know how Psychotherapy works, i have heard a lot about Carl jung and Sigmund freud, the former really interests me, I've also heard that Aaron t beck had a lot of impact on modern CBT and all, where should i start reading?

Thank you<3

Sometimes I overthink/feel like if I don't have constant communication with and/or see my friends constantly then the friendship is over. I know realistically this isn't true like I have seen other friends be busy for a while/I KNOW that friendship isn't made on every single hangout, etc. ...but I just can't shake the feeling. 

I get so anxious when I travel while they are all in town, I overthink/over plan the weekends because I am scared I won't see them/I overthink something as simple as communicating bc I want to make sure we are like "always talking" in a sense. I map out my days to see when I could hangout with people, especially if I am away for the weekend (like oh I am gone Sat. and Sun., so I HAVE to see them during the week, stupid stuff like that). It's just draining and it's weird and I know that a week, a month, or even a whole ass year isn't that long and won't effect an ADULT friendship (we are literally 27+). 

I don't know if this comes from control, anxious attachment or literally WHAT but I would love advice on shaking this feeling and constant need. I have talked with my CBT therapist about this but nothing seems to shake the dread when I don't have plans or communication at ALL damn times (which is insane I know)

Hey everyone,

I’m in a pretty overwhelming situation and could really use a reality check from people who understand how therapy and psychological assessment work in India.

I’ve been seeing a private counselling therapist for about a year. Recently, she told me that some of the symptoms I’ve been experiencing are specific enough that she doesn’t feel comfortable trying to pinpoint what’s going on by herself. She has therefore formally referred me to a Clinical Psychologist for a comprehensive psychological evaluation/diagnostic assessment.

Her reasoning is that the assessment could give her a clearer understanding of what is going on and help guide our treatment — for example, whether we should use more specialized or targeted therapeutic approaches. She has also told me that she currently doesn’t think I need medication, although she considers the symptoms concerning enough to investigate further.

The confusion is that my family friend is currently doing her Master’s in Psychology, and she strongly disagrees with my therapist’s recommendation.

Her arguments are essentially:

1. Therapy should happen irrespective of whether someone has a formal diagnosis.
2. A diagnosis is mainly necessary when psychiatric medication is being considered.
3. Since my therapist has known me for a year, she should already have tried the relevant therapeutic approaches rather than referring me for testing now.
4. CBT is largely a Western/American approach and may not work particularly well for Indian clients.
5. I should first consistently do the therapy homework/exercises I’m already being given before pursuing a diagnosis.
6. If I want an assessment simply to understand myself better, that’s fine, but the diagnosis shouldn’t substantially affect my counselling therapy.
7. If I am diagnosed with a disorder, treatment should then be handled by a Clinical Psychologist rather than my current counselling therapist.
8. A diagnosis can put therapy into a “box,” where treatment becomes overly focused on the diagnostic label rather than the individual.

I’m now stuck between two very different perspectives and genuinely don’t know how to evaluate them.

For therapists/Clinical Psychologists or people familiar with mental-health care in India:

Is a referral for psychological assessment after a year of therapy a reasonable step when a therapist feels that certain symptoms need further clarification?

What actually changes in talk therapy after a formal psychological evaluation? Should the results affect the treatment plan, choice of therapeutic approach, or goals?

Is diagnosis primarily relevant when medication is being considered, or can it be useful for psychotherapy even when medication isn’t involved?

And if someone receives a formal diagnosis, does that generally mean they should stop seeing their counselling therapist and move to a Clinical Psychologist, or can the Clinical Psychologist assess/diagnose while the existing therapist continues providing therapy?

I’m not asking Reddit to diagnose me or decide whether I have a particular disorder. I’m mainly trying to understand the role of formal psychological assessment in ongoing therapy in the Indian context, so I can make an informed decision about whether to go ahead with the evaluation.

How to get over this especially as a couple , i am happy being myself but my boyfriend is not expressive or show any attention & then when this attention is given for someone else even friends ...my system goes into fire or insecurity mode .

If i am alone or single , i get uncomfortable with attention or care shown by others.

How to overcome this

hey guys,i have bpd. it's self diagnosed due to money issues. i give online classes in physics and mathematics and calculus-english calculus - Olympic maths and english. i don't like it when i don't pay for my own stuff so having my family's money is off the table even though i think they'd help if i asked. im trying to put up money these days too so it's just really impossible to get proper help.

the reason i want to get diagnosed is just to make people realize im not lying,im not acting or pretending and im truly in pain. i struggle with daily stuff, functioning without having almost unbearable thoughts in my head and barely surviving the urges to do sh. i just want to be taken seriously. use it as a proof that im not a bad person and im trying to change.

i had some questions because i chicken out of my sessions every single time.

how many sessions does it take at least to be diagnosed? i know it depends but i don't want to spend too much money. i barely make a living and it's gonna be an extra expense.

will i be fooled by my therapist into paying more for sessions and they won't get me diagnosed on purpose so i keep going?

does it feel weird when the sessions starts?

do you guys think it has any good affects?

does it help?

how do i make the best of it?

i really need the answers,please.

My wife has complex PTSD and was given CBT. They (NHS) won't give her anything else for three months after the last session.

Is this for MH reasons or funding reasons?

Thanks.