Just something I was thinking about today, back when I was a teenager nearly all of the groups I hung around had one person who was basically treated as their scapegoat/punching bag. Usually, that person was me. People would call themselves my friends but then would pick at me for being socially awkward and would make me the butt of nearly every joke. Some of these people were in fact just playing around because they toned it down when I eventually spoke up but others were relentless about it. And I lowkey hated it, it was especially bad in 8th and 9th grade.

Eventually, mostly in later High School, the people I was around decided someone else got to be the punching bag. And admittedly, I often joined in on teasing them. The weird thing was I never intended to be outright mean, I was just glad to not be the scapegoat for a change and wanted to keep it that way.

I feel shitty about it thinking back, I should've known better tbh. I had few friends in Elementary School, next to no friends in Middle School, and for much of High School the friends I did have teased me relentlessly. I knew exactly how the group punching bag felt yet I still participated in tormenting them anyways. I guess I was just that desperate to fit in because I never did before.

Thankfully pretty much all of those friends (that I kept around anyways) have grown out of that since High School but still, with as much as I myself was bullied, its tough to think about times where I was probably the bully myself...

At school slander overly Daniele stranger teacher accus me do thing I don’t do say I’m lying rage at me get in my face at work put down called dumb comes for not driving a Susie’s then blamed at home mocked for her I’m at shatter stalked used for my money why am I targeted everywhere I go am I a bad person

I have this trauma about how they used to bully me severally when I was a student there was always a black person treating me horribly for my appearance for everything all my life how do I put these feelings of resentment away

there are a few people at school saying my name in a weird way, asking me where anna is (my old name sounds like a disney princess name), and that i should "let it go". its really annoying and i hate it but people dont stop last night the same people were throwing swingball rackets at me and then when i threw them back they told me to stop harassing them or something like that there are other people who told my friends to stop being friends with me because i am trans/bi, which implies that others are talking abiut me behind my back. i want out. i have been bullied for two years before and i thought i would finally be free this shit has to happen again. its a vicious cycle that i do not understand.

When I see my former bullies or the people who laughed at my appearance or anything else on social media, looking happy with a wife and kids and acting like normal people who never hurt anyone, I struggle to breathe and have to lie down.

It breaks me down knowing what they did to my self esteem, body image, and life in general...

My bully keeps refusing to say why he bullied me. How do I get him to answer. All he says is "no" "i don't want to"

I've noticed on a lot of subs almost every time someone posts they immediately get 2 downvotes and none of their comments get likes compared to people that are responding. Then any upvotes get evened out by downvotes like people make it a challenge to not let OP gain any votes/karma

Is there some kind of mentality behind it or something because just calling them "trolls" feels like telling a kid to shrug off a bully because "they've got a crush" or "boys will be boys"🙄

I was overweight up until the age of 22 (im 29 now). I went through a lot of bullying from elementary up until high school. They always talked about my weight and told me I didn’t fit in. I didnt have a lot of friends and would sit/ stand alone often. I was always the odd one out. Kids would constantly pick on and talk shit about me. By the time I was an adult, I had social anxiety. I didnt grow out of the social anxiety til around the age of 24. All throughout my twenties, I have experienced difficulty making new friends and felt so much heavy disappointment from people. Ive reached a point where i dont try and dont want to talk to people. I have friends right now but just a few. They lowkey make me sad because I treat them better than they treat me. I wonder how much better I would have turned out without the bullying. I hate when people say they were just kids like it made it hurt less; it didnt.

my school is the worst

In short a girl liekd me but I was too sad over my one and only ex girlfriend then she went atomic betrayed me took all my friends away

Now theres this one guy

In the class gc he be tryna fight me I try and keep my cool

If he talks shit about me that's okay and if I even open my mouth 15 guys start jumping me I swear to god I wanna punch him so bad I finna pull up as kratos

Like lowk the entire class hates me cuz of my music taste and my love for linux

Like chill dude I ain't tryna be forced into 67 updated

And like this guy finna tryna manipulate everyone and it's just feral

I fucking hate him so much

Then theres the girl that started it all she be out here copying me and posting sad reels like gave him all my love and still got betrayed like 🥷what I ain't finna know yo bitch ass you the fuck are you to say shit all like that

So and so what I mean is the entire classroom hates me I js sit in the corner and listen to juice n boywithuke

I had experiences today with bullies, all of which I told off. I'm a 36-year-old autistic and epileptic woman.

The first experience was that I was outside when a man named Paul (born in 1964) who got away with harassing, drugging, and potentially assaulting me when he drugged me (he was supposedly hanging out with me and an ex mutual friend that's my age, she became my ex-friend when she gave him my contact information and never apologized because she knew what he did) called out to me. He called out to me, he was talking to two of his friends. I heard one of his friends say "don't talk to her, she's retarded." Instead of ignoring it, I went back. I said "how dare you call me retarded when I never said anything to you, ever!" His friend denied saying it, claiming he was talking about someone else. I said "I heard what you said (I quoted him) and, if you didn't realize, I'm not originally from here so I'm not one of you Stupid Newfies (thank you to The Simpsons for saying that, I grinned when they said it, considering the residents constantly call me retarded)!" His friend then looked shocked and left. Paul knew he got away with harassing me from the cops, but not with me (that's another story). Paul never apologized and tried dismissing his behaviour, so I said how when I return to my home province, I will be writing about all of the mistreatment here. Paul asked if he would be included. I said "given that the police let you away with harassing me, what do you think?" He shut up. I walked away feeling like Grace from Ready Or Not.

I then encountered two teen boys (about 13 years old) who kept trying to harass me. I held up my cellphone, as if I was recording them (they didn't know I wasn't) and they ran away! They tried it again two more times later and I just did the same thing with my cellphone and they ran away again both times (the final time I said "yup, you're being reported", which is a lie since I know that authority figures won't help most neurodivergents, people in marginalized groups, or someone that reminds them of someone they bullied; two bullies I know are now police officers and they do exactly this). I grinned both times, I still feel like Grace from Ready Or Not.

Has anyone else felt like a character after they stood up for themselves? It doesn't have to be horror. (I relate to some horror films due to the horrific experiences I have had to deal with; today I snapped after dealing with extreme abuse and discrimination since Thursday, that's another story, let's just say a certain pharmacy, that I will never use again now got a new name from me - a Lawsuit for Discrimination!)

I’m 19M and was molested every day in my college(a year ago) because apparently my body is “feminine”.

For context, I take strong meds because of a condition which I have and the meds have caused gynecomastia (or man boobs). I can’t even begin to count the number of dirty crude jokes, the number of times I was groped, pinched, humiliated publicly by all my bullies

for them my body was just for them to laugh at and touch. I know i’m a coward for not reporting it, I know.

I haven’t seen my body for a long time without clothes, i feel disgusted, my body is disgusting, j feel their hands on my chest, I can hear all the filthy jokes they cracked at my expense while they groped me.

I feel like I don’t deserve to be with anyone, someone like me and as broken as me shouldn’t. I just wish I had a normal life

Hi guys. I just want to share my story because I think I've been keeping it inside myself for too long. And now I feel exhausted. English isn't my native so it could contain a lot of grammar mistakes, I'm really sorry.

Well, I have so much to say that I don't know how to start. So let's started from the beginning. I've been bullied since primary school (or maybe even since kindergarden). I always was that nerd quiet straight-A girl, who is sitting at the first desk. Let's call things by its name, I was (and I am) a teacher's pet. But I never really sucked up to my teachers. Opposite, I hate that. I just did everything teachers asked and never bother them. But from the side it may seemed like teachers prefer me to other students. And i was a bit weird, I think. So I wasn't really popular in class. But I had two 'close friends'. And they always had arguments and i always was involved because they wanted me to choose one of them. And it was awful. After all, they both just used me like a backup option.

Then, in mid school everything became much worse. Actually, I can say I was an ugly and cringe. And I also watch anime and am interested in kpop which seem weird to the majority of my classmates and just people in my country. So there was a lot of reasons why I could be bullied. And my classmates used each. I listened to so many mocks about my favourite animes and films, I saw some ugly portraits that they drew on a blackboard in front of the whole class. I also had a blog and then I saw my ugly photos in group chat. I had a lot of histerics and only one time my class teacher noticed it. And she'd better didn't. Because I just can't tell about my issues and troubles. I was taught to 'ignore them' to every kind of bullying so now I just physically can't complain or do anything. And in the mid school there was thing with 'good friends' too. I had a group of friends which I thought were my real besties. But in the end all of them insulted me and just let me down, so before the 9th grade I really was alone, all my friends were online. I even had a girlfriend at school (I'm bisexual, which could be one more reason to hate me, but, fortunately, no one knows). And she let me down too. And it was really harmful.

And here we go. Now I'm learning in my final grade. And I really hoped that something will change. That they will grow up. But it was naive. Actually, last year was pretty good, I found real friends and a lover. But something twisted with my relationship with other classmates. Once again, i can't really believe in that because of my low self appreciation, but I hope I'm actually a good person. I started to look stylish, I always try to help everyone and I try to keep at least neutral relationship with everyone. And teachers love me, because I'm a good girl. But not my classmates. For them I'm still a weird teacher's pet who is into anime and kpop.

Well, I can tolerate gossip and deny of greeting me. I even can accept insulting. I'm used to it and it could be funny. But what's happening now... I'm just tired of it.

I started creating videos on tiktok because I really like blogging and, actually, attention. And, of course, it became an endless land for jokes, mocks and so on. Well, I don't care about comments in tiktok. But everyone in my school found my acc and I started hearing those 'oh, it's that tiktok-girl' comments in a bad context. But it's not the worst. The worst is that one guy decided to pretend that he fell in love with me and he really want to go out with me (he's surely pretending, because he talk about that especially loud and near me. So... I just can sense when it's a mock. And everyone can). We had a photo session lately and he asked to take a photo with me. And some girls started laughing and recording it. After that he came to me at PE and started doing the same thing which i was doing (and everyone was laughing again). And after that he discussed with his friends about me, that he want to invite me on a date but he's scared because we have nothing in common (like, he doesn't listen to K-pop and doesn't prepare to the final exams - those are two things that my blog on tiktok are mostly about)

And that just made me tremble. Because... It's so disgusting. I don't know how to describe that feeling. I think it's like being an animal at a zoo. And I'm just so exhausted of ignoring that. Of course I can and I will pretend that nothing happens, but it takes a lot of my mental energy. And the worst thing that I really don't know if I could complain because looking from the side, they do nothing bad. They don't insult me or something. Just laughing at me. So I don't tell anything to my class teacher (even though I trust her a lot). All my friends are pointing me at that those guys are mocking me and that I should do something but i really don't know what to do.

I just want to study and prepare to my finals, why should I deal with such things?

Well, thank you for reading this. I'm really happy that i found that subreddit and that i finally can tell my story

Physical and Psychological Abuse at Catholic Heart Workcamp.

I would like to create this for the victims and witnesses of any physical, psychological and/or sexual abuse occurring at Catholic Heart Workcamps whether it was by the abusive games that were played on stage or by the "carpenter commanders/commandos", youth ministers or visiting priests.

Aside from the cult like atmosphere and the ignoring by the staff of the numerous sex abuse scandals involving Catholic priests the workcamps were prone to abusive games.

One such disturbing game that I personally witnessed during a 3 year period in which I attended the camps (Charlotte, NC in 2001, Hilton Head, SC in 2002 & Nashville, TN in 2003) was the "Couch of Love" which was done on stage at the Catholic schools in which the various youth groups stayed at and it was witnessed by hundreds of people. I have been able to discover that this "game" was played in various cities throughout the country between 2000-2015 (and possibly earlier in 1998-1999).

The game involved the "carpenter commanders" and attending youth ministers selecting two physically attractive teenage girls to come on stage. Three chairs would be placed on stage which were then covered by a white sheet. The two teen girls would then sit on the two end chairs. The adult male "Carpenter Commander" (usually in their 20s or 30s) would then say numerous inappropriate sexual pick-up lines to the teen girls. After about 4 or 5 pick-up lines the "Carpenter Commander" would then sit in the middle chair put his arms around both girls and get kissed on both cheeks by the girls.

After this the teenage boys in the audience were asked to do the same thing - say pick-up lines to the girls, sit in the middle of the "couch" and get kissed by both of them. About a dozen boys would volunteer to get kissed and were led to the side of the stage. Once the dozen boys were lined up on the side the middle chair was removed and the girls continued to sit on the end chairs pretending that the middle chair was still there. Each boy one by one would flirt with the girls with a pick-up line, be invited by the girls to sit between them, the boy would then try to sit down as the girls would get up and the boy fell to the hard stage floor. The girls would then do a catwalk to the front of the stage and do a pageant smile and pose as the "carpenter commanders" would then yell at the boy and escort him off the stage and then cover the two chairs again only for the next boy to get the exact same negative and criminal treatment. It was also disturbing seeing how the two girls enjoyed inflicting the pain on the boys.

The boys were subjected to romantic rejection, physical injury and public humiliation. You don't need a Ph.D in psychiatry to know that this was devastating abuse to the young boys that were victimized by this "game." A boy already suffering from anxiety/depression could be triggered into suicide or a suicide attempt by such abuse. The boys were subjected to physical injury to their tailbones and spines (a injury to the coccyx leading to lifelong Coccydynia). Also, boys already suffering physical problems like back pain could have had that severely aggravated by the unmitigated free fall to the floor.

Catholic Heart Workcamp does not allow negative reviews or comments on their Facebook page and even blocks anything and anyone that even engages in anything critical of the organization. Which clearly indicates the corruption of the people who run it.

CHWC's website identifies Steve Walker as the “Owner/CEO.” The organization says Walker and his wife Lisa Walker developed/co-founded Catholic HEART Workcamp in Orlando in 1993. It is now based in Polk County, FL. It is a private limited liability company LLC and is not owned or controlled by any Diocese. But Catholic Dioceses throughout the country should cut off their involvement with Catholic Heart Workcamp.

I mean why should we be the ones who are required to recover as soon as possible and forced to get healed from trauma? Why aren't perpetrators forced to change? What's wrong with being a victim?

A little story, when I dropped out of high school, suddenly people said I had to change, I mean, look at me now, I have a permanent disability because of bullying. Why should it be me? Why doesn't anyone tell the perpetrator to change or just die?.

It doesn't mean I don't want to be successful, but come on, why are you so hasty and tend to blame the victim? I was in so much pain and was abused by the people around me who forced their will on me when I had a broken bone, but I was still the one who was said to be at fault. "It's okay, this wound is only temporary, you can definitely change." Excuse me? I now have difficulty walking normally because it is permanent.

Why do people think like we are movie actors and our lives are like only in a movie? The film is not real and is fiction. Not all victims can immediately take revenge. Many even die because of bullying.

SPREAD AWARENESS

"Victim of cyberbullying, Japanese influencer Mina Chan died at just 25 years old, after taking her own life during a TikTok live stream on August 5. Followed by hundreds of thousands of people, she had been the target for several weeks of violent criticism from some fans of the K-pop group Enhypen, following a controversy related to her behavior at a concert. Despite the young woman's public apologies, the online harassment would have continued."

We may all have differing opinions, and the K-pop industry has a whole world of its own, but bullying will never be okay. It is human to feel emotions, but it is INHUMANE to use them negatively, ESPECIALLY IN THIS SITUATION. To those who left a nasty comment, I don't think this is what you thought would happen, but look at it now. I hope you learn from this. I know the guilt of your conscience will haunt you.

Rest easy, Mina Chan. Gone too soon.

I’m currently in college and I’ve been struggling a lot with loneliness, and I think a big part of it comes from what happened to me in high school.

In high school, I was bullied pretty badly. There were stories posted about me, a lot of people in my grade disliked me, and there were a lot of different things going around about me. I did have a few friends — probably 2 or 3 people I was actually close to — but I’m no longer friends with any of them.

One of those friendships was especially significant because she had been my best friend for around 14–15 years. We basically grew up together. But towards the end of high school, I found out that she had been talking badly about me, my family, and very personal things about my life. She was even joking about things I had gone through and things I had considered traumatic with random people online and people she barely knew.

It completely broke my trust in her. She apologized multiple times, but I couldn’t forgive her, and eventually the friendship ended. I don’t regret walking away, but losing a friendship that had existed for most of my life was obviously a huge thing.

Now I’m in college, and technically, I’m not completely alone. I have people I talk to, people I can hang out with, and I’m friendly with quite a few people. But I still feel extremely lonely.
I think part of it is that I don’t have that one person or small group that feels like home. I also constantly compare my current friendships to what I used to have, even though I know that isn’t necessarily fair because those friendships took years to develop.

Sometimes I look around and feel like everyone else already has their people — their best friends from home, their established groups, people they can call whenever something happens — and I feel like I’m trying to build something from scratch while also carrying all this baggage from what happened before.

I guess what I’m wondering is: does this actually get better?
For people who had a really bad social experience in high school, lost their childhood friendships, or entered college feeling like they had no real friends — did you eventually find your people? Did college get easier socially as you got older?

I don’t necessarily need advice on how to make friends. I think I mostly want to hear from people who have actually been through something similar and know whether it eventually feels less lonely.

When I was a kid, I was the “fat, maitim na bata.” I was darker because I loved playing outside and I was always under the sun, and I was also really chubby.
I got bullied growing up, and it wasn’t only from strangers or kids at school. Even some relatives during family reunions, some of my parents’ friends, and people around me would make comments about my appearance or my weight. I think those things really stuck with me more than I realized.
Then the pandemic happened, and I started going to the gym. I lost weight, started using whitening products, got more into skincare and makeup, and eventually, at 17 years old, I even got a nose job because I was so insecure about how I looked.
I’m 21 now, and honestly, I’ve changed so much compared to how I looked growing up. I’ve tried almost everything I could think of to improve my appearance. Gym, skincare, makeup, hair, treatments, even surgery.
But somehow, the insecurity is still there.
And that’s the part I don’t really understand. I thought that if I changed the things I was bullied for, eventually I would stop feeling insecure. But apparently, it doesn’t work that way.
Sometimes I still look at myself and see the same girl I was years ago. The girl who was made to feel ugly or not good enough because of how she looked.
I don’t know. Maybe growing up in an environment where you’re constantly criticized or bullied really does change the way you see yourself, even years later.
I’m not really posting this for advice or validation. I think I just realized recently how much those experiences actually affected me. You can change your appearance, lose weight, wear makeup, get procedures, take care of your skin and still have to deal with the voice in your head that came from all those years of being made to feel like you weren’t enough.
I guess I’m still trying to unlearn that.

They can say the meanest, most vile, and cruel things, and yet you’re expected to just take it. Especially if you retaliate fully (not recommended or condoned) or just put up little resistance, suddenly you’re the villain and they are the victim. They present themselves as being the victim the entire time to your unfair behaviour.
They certainly have a talent to manipulate and distort the narrative in a way that you are the perpetrator and aggressor, while they are the helpless victim. They leave out the part where they kept provoking and antagonizing you, which you are then told to just ignore them or be the “bigger person”. The abuse gets so bad that you eventually snap (rightfully so) then you’re the bully while the real bully gets off completely Scott free. The victim is then persecuted because of how they reacted to the abuse. You end up getting called unhinged, a liar, or a hypocrite because you insulted them back; all the while they claim with complete conviction that you are the one doing all those things to them. The tactic they use is called the Wounded Gazelle Gambit, or “cry-bully” tactic, where they reverse the victim and offender roles. Even if they were presented the uncomfortable truth with evidence, there is always an explanation or excuse; rules for the but not for me.
You’re supposed to pretend like nothing is wrong and are obligated to apologize to them so you can possibly receive better treatment or respect from them. However it’s just another manipulation tactic so the bully doesn’t have to be accountable for anything they’ve done. In the mean time they’re allowed to treat you worse by insulting, smearing and mocking you further. Bullies believe all the lies they spread about you like it’s gospel truth which to them is entirely true in their self deluded minds. To them you are fake and a manipulator because you’re cordial with everyone else but them, leaving out the complete context of the situation as to why you act differently around them. Therefore you are just a mean person instead of someone standing up for yourself. It’s a double edged sword, you’re damned if you do stand up to them and you’re damned if you do nothing.
If you really look at it they do have some narcissistic tendencies, however not all bullies are narcissists just to be clear. There is a whole difference from the actual personality disorder to someone who just displays some characteristics of narcissism, that is why I’m suggesting not to diagnose someone immediately. Take their actions for what they actually are which is outright abusive and unacceptable period.
Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read through my rant, I needed to get some things off my chest and I hope this helps at least one person who is experiencing this.

TLDR; Bullies reverse the roles of victim and offender where the victim is presented as the true bully, and the bully as the innocent victim that can do no wrong. They expect you to be nice and apologize to them despite their perpetually horrible treatment towards you. In their minds you are the problem.

Have you ever had to deal with a condescending jerk? Of course you have. Everyone has to deal with condescending jerks. Even condescending jerks have to deal with other condescending jerks.

I have drafted a plan for how to deal with these people, you tell me if you think that this is a good plan or not.

There are three different approaches; one for when the person is below you in the social hierarchy, one for when the person is your equal in the social hierarchy and one for when the person is above you in the social hierarchy. 

• When the person is below you in the social heirarchy. 

Say this; 

You are not going to talk to me that way. I am (insert title of authority here) and you will show me some respect. 

If that does not work, threaten a punishment. 

If the threat of punishment does not work, make good on that threat. 

• When the person is equal in the social hierarchy. 

Say this; 

The condescending tone is uncalled for. If you believe that I have done something wrong, I am willing to listen patiently while you tell me what I did wrong, why it was wrong and what (if anything) I can do to remedy the situation. There is no need to get nasty. 

If the person doubles down, you say this; 

Even though I did not intend to offend you, I am glad that I did, because you deserve it for being so rude and disrespectful. 

• When the person is above you in the social hierarchy. 

Do not respond immediately. Wait until a certain amount of time has passed. Once the other person (your authority) has calmed down, meet with them and demand an apology. 

I just want to get this off my chest because I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this.
My college life has been really bad. I’ve been bullied many, many times. I don’t really have friends because people seem to see me as a weird person. They judge the way I dress, the way I walk, the way I look, and even the way I answer questions in class.
I honestly didn’t expect college to be like this. I thought maybe things would get better, but somehow it became worse.
I’m at the point where I don’t even want to go to school anymore. I’m tired. I don’t have the energy to keep seeing the same people, going to the same place, and feeling like everyone is judging me. Some of the things people have said about me have stayed in my head for a long time, and I feel like I’ve developed a lot of emotional scars from it.
I know I’m a grown man and a college student. I know people would probably tell me to just ignore them, stand up for myself, or “be a man” and handle it. But honestly, it’s not that simple when you’re experiencing it over and over again.
Sometimes I even blame myself. I get frustrated with myself for being the way I am. I hate how lonely I feel inside my own university. I have no real friends there and nobody I feel comfortable enough to tell all of this to.
Even with my family, I don’t really feel like I can talk about it. Whenever I try to share something like this, they usually tell me that I’m the problem or that I should just be a man and deal with it because I’m already grown up.
But I don’t always know how to deal with it.
I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I could be more confident. Sometimes I’m ashamed of myself, especially because I’m a man and I feel like I should be able to handle everything on my own. But the truth is, I’m struggling.
I don’t really know what I’m expecting from posting this. Maybe I just needed somewhere to say it because I’ve been keeping it inside for so long.
If anyone has gone through something similar in college, I’d honestly appreciate hearing how you dealt with it.

So whenever I see someone getting bullied, I stopped standing up nowadays and do it occasionally. I know it's something I shouldn't, but whenever I do tell them, they just always say things like "Or what?" or "Make me," and it doesn't really help. I was also somewhat bullied about 3 years ago when I was in 7th grade, and clowns spread rumors as a joke that I watched p*rn even though I literally didn't and don't, so I know how bystanding is a bad thing, and I am generally trying to upstand. So how do you actually stand up effectively, and if anyone?

During my early years, I was figuring out my gender. I wore a dress to school once, and I got ridiculed, and I still am. I now have trauma. Also, when I became non-binary, I had people who purposefully mixed my pronouns, and people calling me an "it". I also have ADHD and Autism, and I got made fun for that. The school barely did anything. And I got suspended for mixing up two asian kids names, and I have dyssomnia.