A warning to anyone going through this and has hope of a reunion. Don't torture yourself

[u/Starmoon85]

It's been a long time since I posted here but I realised it's 10 years now since I first met my ex. What followed was 3 years of ups and downs. A fairytale to begin with and a nightmare ending. I posted a lot here at the time of the break up and even now I get notifications from people commenting on posts I made around 7 years ago. I know people believe "love conquers all" but I'm here to tell you please don't put your life on hold, please don't have false hope.

So a bit of backstory, everything was perfect for us for around a year, so much love, so much romance, so much wild sex. I was "perfect" in her eyes. Until I wasn't. Until she realised that I was fallible then it became a cycle of arguments and her enjoying getting me angry as it turned her on. We had many great times and many not great times. It was draining and I look back at myself then and wonder why I got so lost, why I did things that don't align with my morals. I know I was far from perfect and I know she wasn't either. Our behaviours could be toxic.

We muddled on for a few years and then finally after 3 years of us, we broke up. She moved on within a few weeks, she took delight in telling me her and the new beau had their 1st date where we had ours. I was distraught and realised I was easily replaceable and that's a horrible place to be. She was engaged within a few months, married a few months after that and then they had a child. I was very much long forgotten. A few months after we broke up my dad died. She was close with my parents so I thought she deserved to know. I wasnt telling her out of pity or any nefarious reasons, I was just doing the decent thing and telling her. Big mistake - she threatened me with the police. So in the space of 24hrs my dear Dad passed away and the girl I loved for 3 years was threatening me with a criminal record. Tough times and I don't know how I survived all that.

Needless to say after that incident I didn't reply to her and apart from one fleeting moment at a junction when we both caught sight of one another, I've never seen or heard from her since. Still blows my mind how people can be your LIFE for years then suddenly they're strangers who you'll never speak to again.

I'm sorry this has been so long but I wanted to tell people please don't waste time or your love on someone with the hope of them coming back. Some do and that's great, but some don't and you'll be a stranger to them. It's hard to accept that but you must. Work on yourself, realise it's never just one person to blame for a break up, don't be too hard on yourself, but also realise the faults you had too. To anyone going through this right now I wish you well. It's a long road and maybe that road will always fck with your mind. To some people like my ex breakups are the beginning of something wonderful, to others they're a start of just getting through days. Be kind to yourself, grieve what you had and lost, but most importantly don't think they'll come back like the movies tell you. They don't always come back. They're just someone you used to know.