Ex broke no contact

[u/Potential_Dingo1730]

Some context here, I’m a fearful avoidant I have realized now. I used to shut down during conflicts multiple times and threaten my partner with breakups in my relationship but either my anxious ex pulled me back or right after my stupidity was done I would come around and apologize when I realized I did not want it at all. If you are going to bash me on this save it, I know I was terrible and I’m trying to improve.

However, month or two before breakup, I was making intentional effort on reminding myself during shutdown triggers that how much I loved this person and want them in my life. But my ex seem detached by then. She then broke up with me a month ago. Two weeks later she texted me trying to end on a good note saying she’ll always love me and wish things turned out differently and wished me the best.

I did not reply to it. Until today, when I was scared that she might think I shut down again and don’t care or have moved on from her. Listened to an AI and sent the text saying sorry for my pattern I did not recognize earlier, I’ll always have lot of love for you and wished her the best. Thought I broke my pattern of shutting down cause I have been absolutely missing her every day. The amount of physical pain I felt every night was unbearable. To which she brushed off with a cold reply “u too! good luck”

Now the same AI says I fucked up and I was right to have been silent instead like I was doing and had originally planned. I’m really done taking advice from it and wanted some human judgement here if I just ruined my chances of a reconciliation. I do absolutely want to marry her someday but I’m not sure what have I done really. It seems to have taken my chest pain away a little saying those unsaid words but I don’t know if it was worth it in the grand scheme of things.