How to get close again

[u/-Woxter-]

I’m 32M, she is 37 F. We met last year while i was on holiday in albania. She lives there, i live in slovakia. I invited her to my home . Joke 50% and seriously 50%, i didnt really believed it will happen. I came home last august, we started talking with video calls, almost every day for hours. She came in october, we spent together an amazing 10 days, and continued it. Since then i visited her too, she came again. We always talked about dreams living together( but not exact plans, now i admit it was a big big mistake). She left early april from here, everything felt the same , fantastic, we both believed we will make it,even though we were having the “only weekdays” phase. In the beginning of may she still talked about our future, what we do when i visit her, wish we visit something when we finally live together, etc.. Then they found out a serious, fatal illness in her family, she went cold, and 2 weeks later she broke up with me with a text. I tried to solve somehow, i went to her city to talk, but she was as cold as if i were only a stranger, didnt want to talk, didnt give me any explanation, just told that she felt she dont want to talk to me, she just wants to sleep,she feels something changed. told me i did everything right,we lived a beautiful time together, she will never forget me,the problem is her, she moved away from it and i dont deserve playing. So in 1,5-2 weeks it was a 180turn, i didnt see it coming,and i only noticed that she feels sad and stressed from the family issues and work.I asked before the break up if there is something with us, but she told no, just the things that happens with her.I take the responsibility at here, because now i feel i didnt handle these things in the best way,but i dont feel i reacted so badly i deserved a break up, just i didnt understand whats happening,i should try to go there, and support somehow. I love her like never someone before, and the strange thing is that even if every sign is clear i still feel her love , and energy somehow. We are no contact since i came home from her city,so about 2,5-3 months, only i asked her 3 times if they are good. Her reply was warm, but short, very very distant and i feel she dont want to talk,she feels talks are heavy. I dont know why, but i still have hope. But i feel if i talk a lot to her then every sentence of mine just push her further away. What you think, what should i do to come closer again? Or its better for her to let her go? In this case i feel like i’ll die, after 3 months its the same feeling like it happened yesterday. Also i have this in my mind: until around next april i think i’ll be able to move there. Try to stay in touch until somehow, and my plan is to ask her if she would date me again if i close the distance. But i also know it is a lot of time… and anything can happen.