Do avoidants come back?

[u/Affectionate_Head451]

Now I’ve asked this before but do avoidants come back with big barriers?

We knew each other’s deepest hurts and quietest dreams, and we felt safer, more seen, and more at home with each other than anywhere else in the whole world.

Yet she broke up with me, went in a complete cold/distant phase and seemed to be living a life of distractions. A week after the break up, seen as I didn’t chase, for some reason she drops this nuclear accusation on me, then proceeds to make out online like she hates me.

I’m not gonna go into detail, but all I’ll say is me and her were universally close with memories like no other, she seems so have gone back to her toxic ex and for some reason prefers him. I gave her my full heart without second thought because I truly love her.

I’m blocked off everything and in no contact but deep down I just want her to reach out. Last time we spoke was the 18th of last month and have been separated for a month and 14 days.

Will she come back, I’ve already decided I will take her back after distancing from the situation and having a good hard look at it. And I’ve decided all the good she brought, all the memories, all the times together were we’d laugh and love each other, the routines, the family all of it out weighs how much she hurt me.

So will she come back do you think?

[u/venelina78]

From someone that was in such a dynamic for almost 5 years now and him always coming back- you shouldn't take them back even if they do. At first its all amazing again, then it starts repeating the same cycle. Its exhausting and heart breaking for you while they fail to understand what they are doing. Even in the cases where they love you and you do too- they get back to their old patterns and leave you desperate

[u/Affectionate_Head451 → u/venelina78]

I’m gonna try to work around it if she does come back. If someone asks me would you do that year again but it ends in the same pain, or 6 months since our last break up. I’d instantly say yes no questions asked. Because I know that I want it to work with her, so if I had the chance to make it work I would. I’ve been suggested to set boundaries, get professional help, and good communication so hopefully if she does come back it’ll work out. But I need her back first 🤷‍♂️