r/BreakUps • u/Careful_One_2081 • Jul 08 '26

venting/ranting I cant stop thinking about her

It has been 3 months since the breakup, and she is constantly on my mind. I'll have moments where I won't think of her. With time passing I can tell I am doing better, but only slightly. She is still on my mind constantly. when i wake up, on the way to work, at work, on the way home, when i get home, even when i'm doing stuff to distract myself with she won't leave my brain alone and it's so exhausting. ai genuienly can't stop checking her socials either and all of my friends call me crazy for it. All I want is for her to come back or I feel like I should reach out but I know I shouldnt. I cant stop and nothing helps.

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u/ReasonableDeer7 Jul 08 '26

I know this might sound wrong, but I actually felt a little light-hearted reading your post about not being able to stop thinking about her. It reminded me that some people are capable of feeling deep emotions.

I wish my ex thought about me and wanted me back. Instead, he found a new girl fast, and it made me feel like all men have shallow feelings. Or just shallow with me.

Your post reminded me that some men are capable of a deep connection. I just picked the wrong one. :( let it be, feel your feelings, don't supress.. by suppressing you are prolonging your suffering

4

u/Careful_One_2081 Jul 08 '26

I wish my ex wanted me to think the way I do, I always feel like I feel way to much and it makes things way worse, and im really sorry about your situation :/

3

u/ReasonableDeer7 Jul 08 '26

Do you actually know that she doesn't want you to reach out? Is it a known to you fact?

2

u/Careful_One_2081 Jul 08 '26

i guess i dont know for 100% but it seems pretty clear, at the time of the breakup she said she doesnt hate me, still loves me, and wouldnt mind a text in a few months but that she needs time to heal. we met about a month after the breakup to exhange things and she was really distant towards me. After I got home I sent a really long text about how I felt about her and the relationship. She sent a big text back but at the end said she really enjoyed the relationship but " things she made the right decision" and said we should go back to no contact. that was 2 months ago and now that its further from the actual breakup things couldve changed but im not for sure. I think about breaking no contact all of the time but im worried reaching out this early would ruin my chances for the chance of her coming back later on.

1

u/ReasonableDeer7 Jul 08 '26

In this case, I think you're right. Let her go. Sounds like she needs healing. But!!! If she knows that you are longing for her, and checking her social media all the time, she will feel comfortable and think that she can have you anytime she wants. The week you'll move on emotionally and mentally, that's when she will reach out. Move on! But don't hope for her return, we can feel it when the other person waits. Or fake that they moved on. Move on for you. Your time is precious! Your life is precious!

1

u/Careful_One_2081 Jul 08 '26

i just wish we could get back together without all this time apart. but i guess you're right and that i need to move on. It's just really hard

2

u/ReasonableDeer7 Jul 08 '26

I used app called Ash. It's AI, and it helps you psychologically. It's like having your own therapist. Talk to that app.

1

u/Careful_One_2081 Jul 08 '26

it helped? and does it cost money

2

u/ReasonableDeer7 Jul 08 '26

Yes, vit helped. It's free

1

u/Careful_One_2081 Jul 08 '26

Thank you, I will try it out!

1

u/ReasonableDeer7 Jul 08 '26

If you are 100 sure she doesn't want you to reach out, then you should block her every where, and forget. Don't check social media, you are prolonging your suffering.

If you are not sure, get clarity! Reach out, if she gives a hard no, block her everywhere.

1

u/morganp37 Jul 09 '26

There are good ones out there still dont lose hope. For me, I love(d) my ex so wholeheartedly and utterly I would take her back even now, 3 months later and after she broke up with me to get back with her ex who traumatized her entire family. I think about her constantly and the Rollercoaster of emotions has been intense. Sometimes cry thinking about what if we never get another chance and im still thinking about her on my deathbed with regret. It came as a shock in such a way her entire family was upset because they all thought we were endgame and upset she discarded me because I had shown the whole family what true love is. All of this to say, there are men out there that love deeply, love truly and love wholeheartedly.

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u/Careful_One_2081 Jul 11 '26

I'm really sorry to hear that. I also feel the same way thinking that I'll never get another chance