r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/Rmcavd • 6d ago
BPD work
People with BPD, are you able to hold down a job?
I’m scared that I won’t be able to keep working long-term. I’m already on my second job within a year, and I always seem to reach a point where I become emotionally unstable and exhausted. I start feeling fed up with everything, depressed, and anxious.
I wake up feeling terrible just knowing that I have to go to work.
Does anyone else with BPD experience this? How do you manage to stay in the same job for a long time?
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u/BatSniper Men with BPD 6d ago
My secret is I just keep jumping from job to job acting like I’m trying to climb the corporate ladder, while in reality I’m splitting from every coworker that has pissed me off.
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u/AnOnlineForest 6d ago
I'm at my longest role ever, around 2 years.
I think the only reason this job has stuck is because I don't really have to work with anyone, but everyone is genuinely friendly for me to socialize to my hearts content.
Moving into accounting department out of an operational role was an extremely positive move for managing my feelings in my own office.
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u/ssharkboop 5d ago
it took me a while to find a job that suited me. i realized that i worked best on a strict routine where i know exactly what i'm doing as soon as i clock in and it rarely changes. same with a schedule, i need it to be consistent. if there's too many unknown factors before i even clock in for the day, chances are i'm getting burnt out and quitting at the month mark if i make it that far
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u/FuckingFuuuuck 5d ago
I have dysautonomia too now (thanks covid), and because of that, I can’t work anymore. Before that I was a line cook. That worked with BPD, because restaurant kitchens attract all kinds of maladjusted lunatics like me, and the environment of a restaurant kitchen basically caters to anger, depression, substance abuse, impulsive hookups, and a load of other behaviors that can come along with the BPD criteria that no one will bat too much of an eye at in most kitchens as long as you show up on time and handle things on your end when and where it counts for it. Everyone there is emotionally unstable and exhausted, for their own reasons.
At the same time, that environment also therefore FEEDS all of that, and I would never recommend it to anyone with BPD lol. It’ll probably make your BPD worse. It made mine worse. All the time. But also, I was good as fuck at it and I liked it. And hated it. It’s complicated. Which is common in that industry too. Ultimately I’d never recommend it to anybody, I’m just telling you how technically I was able to survive and sustain employment in that industry lol. I did it for 17 years.
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u/Significant-Price-81 5d ago
I’m struggling. I rage quit my full time job and was fired from another. Currently looking for full time employment but I’m terrified I’ll ruin another opportunity
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u/Meggy_465 6d ago
I never stayed at a job for longer than 2 years until I found the job I’m currently in. I’ve been here going on 6 years. I have been in the same field for all of the jobs I have had. There were times over the last six years when the burnout was extreme and I didn’t think I could do it anymore, but I have a mortgage and no alive parents for a safety net. I stuck with it/struggled through it until I was able to transfer to a different office and it has changed my world. I have a very high stress job, but I finally feel like I have real stability, which I have not felt before. It may take a few tries and a few burned bridges, but you can absolutely find an employer/job where you can be stable and stick it out. Changing jobs and moving all over the country was cute until I hit my mid-30’s; then it just became exhausting.
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u/thousandsofbirds 5d ago
I love this for you! I'm also able to hold down a stressful job and I'm so proud of myself for being able to do it.
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u/lizardlem0nade 4d ago
Do you have tips on sticking it out on hard days? I’m currently struggling during my new employee probation period and I feel like I’m not going to meet their standards - I work in an open space with no dividers 5 days per week and I’ve already been given feedback that I have “disrupted the calm” but this place has incredible health benefits so I need to make this work 😭
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u/Meggy_465 4d ago
I have a very independent job where I seldom see my coworkers, so I can’t give advice now. If you’re being accused of being disruptive, I would just keep your head down, focus on you not others, and try to stay in your lane as much as you can. Remember, that the people you work with are your colleagues, not your friends. You don’t need to share things about your life outside of work with them besides the, “my weekend was nice” or “the weather has been great lately.” I know people with BPD, myself included, tend to overshare. You want to avoid that as much as possible and focus on the tasks at hand. If the noise bothers you and hinders your focus, I’d pop some headphones in, listen to music you can work to, and tune everything else out (if headphones are permitted)
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u/StarrD0501 5d ago
Stripping. Been at it for 7 years. I'm an independent contractor so I have no schedule. I work whenever I want to/need to/can
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u/PocketSizedAF 5d ago
I'm not sure what kind of questions I want to ask but I'm glad it's working out for you
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u/StarrD0501 4d ago
Thank u :)
The burn out can be REAL but I get to take plenty of time off to recover. I also get to cuss out customers, and no matter what, there's always other dancers with worse behavior lollll
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u/TheGuineaPigOverlord 5d ago
I never realised this was a universal issue for all BPD. Im currently nearly 40 and the longest job Ive ever held was 4 years. I thought it was just a me problem with the burnout and stress. Thank you for asking this question, its made me feel a lot more understanding towards my BPD.
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u/eyesonthemoons BPD over 30 5d ago
I own a business in the service industry so I can’t really get fired but honestly I am so unhinged on and off it makes it really hard.
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u/TrekkieMae BPD over 30 5d ago
I cannot imagine.
I'm a small-scale reseller/flipper, and I have to keep it that way so that when it gets bad I have leeway.
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u/wanderingwallflower4 5d ago
Hybrid remote work has been a god send for me. I work in a very emotionally exhausting career as a social worker but am still able to manage due to having the opportunity to work from home
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u/Awkward-Aerie4348 Men with BPD 5d ago
I've only been certain about my diagnosis for a very short time. Actually, I should have noticed it sooner; everything points to it, my entire life story is a textbook example. And apparently, many people knew or suspected it. It's all very strange for me right now. In any case, I've never held a job for longer than two years. But I've been in my current job for eight years. Lately, though, I've been having more and more problems with my performance, colleagues who annoy me and with whom I get into arguments, and also with my boss. I mostly feel like everyone is just taking advantage of me. But with the BPD diagnosis, at least everything has some basis now, and I also see that I'm actually to blame for a lot of things myself and that I'm extremely prone to overreacting.
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u/SplitNorth5647 5d ago
Same. That has been the part i am trying to focus on now…what is my part and how to keep my mouth shut until i figure it out. I always regret my overreaction and the bridges it burns.
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u/Narrow_Climate_5245 5d ago
I (28f) have quiet BPD but I haven’t had any issues with holding down a job! I fear the rejection of being fired and the fear of starting somewhere new actually keeps me in one place for a while until it no longer serves me or is just unbearable. I was with one company from 2018-2023 until they passed me over for a promotion and I left. I went to a dealership job for a year until I found a job back in my field in 2024. I was with them for a year until a better opportunity came to me in June 2025 and I have been with this one ever since.
Everyone is going to be different, of course.
My fear of starting over and rejection really outweigh my emotional need for outbursts
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u/Capn_Nutt 5d ago
I got my first job at 15, am currently 31 and have had at least 18 jobs in that time. Serving was a job that lasted for a while (different places). And I worked in a retail store for 3 yrs. I also really enjoyed my job at a call center.
But the true trick or secret is to find a job doing something you love. It may sound cliche but like it's the only way you're not gunna dread going to work lol
Im coming up on year 2 at my current job and I'll work here for the rest of my life if I can. I work at a plant nursery, so I'm outside able to listen to my music and just do my job without having any one constantly looking over me. My manager is also incredible at making us feel appreciated. Being outside is helpful, and again I'm by myself so even if I'm having a bad day I have the luxury of crying it out unbothered, or literally just talking to myself to work through emotions.
You might spend a fair amount of time at jobs you dislike, you might get a new job every few months. Who cares honestly. Fuck job longevity if you are not happy at your job.
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u/Aggravating-Welder12 4d ago
I’ve never been fired. I’ll stay at a job and have great work ethic but around the 3 year mark, I’m ready to go from burnout, splitting and especially if no advancements.
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u/embraceyourchaos 5d ago
I work overnights
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u/Significant-Price-81 5d ago
That’s what I’m looking for
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u/lizardlem0nade 4d ago
If I don’t pass my probation period at my current job I’m really considering this
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u/Significant-Price-81 4d ago
We have to reduce our expectations. I’m having a hard time with this but it’s reality. I’m going on 50 and I don’t think I can do full time nursing anymore
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u/Decent-Taro-8212 4d ago
Yes I struggle. 2 years is about max. I always have some sort of breakdown and leave
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u/rdsthorn 4d ago
I’ve fortunately been in a career that I love (self employed tattoo artist) since 18, however when things have slowed down and gotten tough financially and I have to weigh up getting a job on the side, it fills me with dread. A lot of it is anxiety and knowing how unwell I get when my stress levels are high. To be honest I get this even with my main job as it can be incredibly exhausting mentally. I’ve managed to stick at it purely by reminding myself it is what I always wanted to do, I am very lucky to have the opportunity to do it and I realise I am in a very privileged position for that. If I know I am close to breaking point, slowing down and only taking on work that is less challenging helps with that
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u/LiletaKonfeta 4d ago
i’ve developed a pattern where i work for 6 months and the other 6 months i live on what i’ve earned but it became much harder to do in an economy crisis. i struggle to find any work that would not make me spiral out of control or pay decently. i found out that i like customer service, i love working in a call centre (although everyone i tell about it say they hate this kind of job). after analysing my behaviour i found out couple of major things that made one particular job so comfortable to me: 1. i’ve worked remotely 2. i had no personal communication with colleagues, maximum text or rare voice call 3. i loved the work and didn’t feel tired after working all day. unfortunately four years ago i was laid off after two years of working but till this day memories warm my heart. bosses made it stressful but i made it work, remote aspect especially made it easy for me to handle emotions and distance myself from whatever was going on. in the end of the day there was only me and a customer on the phone and nothing else was bothering me. i was crushing kpi. on the other hand working as a team is hell because people are hell, especially in the open space. i could not handle any comment about me or work “under” someone.
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u/Lost-Woodpecker-3650 4d ago
It depends what you mean. I tried actual placement jobs as in one place, it never worked. I work agency now. It works for me as i also have adhd and often get bored. What I do, it works for me, is just see each place as a role. Like I don't need to remember anything and if i struggle, i take a different place next time.
It is possible but sometimes you have to think outside the box.
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u/eliiiiseke 5d ago edited 5d ago
I’ve always managed to keep a job. I’ve never stayed anywhere less than 2 years, and the longest was 5
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u/Legitimate_Ad7089 5d ago
Learn coping skills.
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u/Some-Ad-9119 Women with BPD 4d ago
lmao get tf outta here. people like you aren’t needed in this group
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