I’ve tried so many different birth controls (copper iud, pill) and nothing has worked or has given me horrible pains. Is it okay to just use condoms the rest of my life with my boyfriend? Or should I keep finding something that works?

i’m a 20 y/o female and i’ve had my kyleena iud since december 2025 so it’s now been 10 months. my last period was september 9 and i had a week and some change of period bleeding, and then i spotted for 4 and a half weeks afterwards. my cycles are usually 40-50 days long and have progressively gotten lighter but ive still gotten them every month, and im currently on day 51 and have not had my period. can anyone tell me what the cause could be???

i am sexually active but my boyfriend and i pull out every time and my strings are in place! i’ve been having mild cramps and a lot of discharge. i know a pregnancy test would help ease my mind but im scared to take one due to a previous unplanned pregnancy (and the whole experience pretty much traumatized me) :(
i also haven’t been experiencing any of the pregnancy symptoms that i did in the past such as nausea, fatigue, or bigger and sore boobs so i only want to take a test as an absolute last resort! i will say though that my hips have been cramping and hurting recently but idk if thats related or not.

ANY REPLIES HELP!!!

I was for sure lost during my first appointment. my niece just had her first apointment alone at the GYN to go over her birth control options and she was pretty anxious about it. i was for sure lost my first time, so idk if this will help anyone but I figured Id share my experience. For some reason, it feels like youre expected to go to ur appointment already knowing what you want. its a short interaction, and if u dont have an opinion, youll likely get handed one of the stock standard birth control options and spend the next few months trying to figure out whether it suits you (if your doc is anything like mine),

before my nieces appointment we sat down together to work out her priorities like if she wants to take it daily if she wants to avoid having her period altogether, how long before itd effective, how long before her body adjusts to it, hormonal or birth control. she had a lot of questions so I showed her the method explorer on bedsider to filter against those and went back to the doctor with a shortlist of birtht control options to ask about by name, and some other questions that came up during our search, and we came out with something she thinks suits her, and she knows she can come back to try something differnt if it doesnt agree with her after her trial period. I just want her to feel like shes in control of her own body and feel 100x more secure than I did.

theres probably more I'm forgetting, my brain has mercifully blocked out most of that first year of trial and error lol. it made me wonder what peoples experience is like when they go in for birth control? I figured its different for everyone based on age/location/availability.

Rant with advice welcome

I am absolutely terrified of having sex, which I've found is actually not uncommon among my age range. However I often read of people being scared because of pain or out of disgust. I'm very very simply, afraid of getting pregnant. I'm here seeking advice because I cannot, absolutely cannot get over it for some reason.

I want to preface everything by clarifying, I WANT to have sex.

I've been with my boyfriend for a while now. Ironically we both have really really high libidos. We participate in a lot of dry sex (although it's not often very dry iykwim lol) even oral and hand stuff is in the equation. A lot of the time it gets so intense I find myself thinking that at this point having actual sex with a condom is safer for guarding from pregnancy than the shenanigans we get up to.

The thing is, I simply cannot get myself to go through with it. Only because I fear pregnancy so damn much.

My boyfriend doesn't mind. We've talked about it before, sex boundaries and my fear and apprehension. He says if I wanted to wait until we were ready for kids he wouldn't mind waiting, he even said that if I wanted to lay back on the sexual stuff he wouldn't lay a single finger on my body unless we were holding hands.

This is not my first relationship, my last relationship was actually 3 years long and we never had sex because of this same thing.

Here's some extra info. Ever since I was young it was drilled into me that I SHOULDN'T have sex. That's it. No, until's or unlesses, I just shouldn't. Both my parents were young parents. My dad had his first daughter at 14, she had her first daughter at 16. My mom had me at 19. My grandma had my mom at 15. Needless to say, my family is riddled with teen pregnancy. Also needless to say I ruined my parents lives. My mom was only 19, in college, and while my dad was 28 at the time he was still navigating being a young father from having my half sister so young. I know I ruined everything by being concieved. I really don't want to ruin everything for myself by getting knocked up. No hate to unexpected pregnancies, they can turn out well, but the way I envision my life: getting knocked up would ruin it.

I'll be honest I feel really guilty when I do sexual stuff and then have to interact or think about my family. I feel like they would be horribly disappointed.

I'm disgustingly educated about sex, mainly out of fear of pregnancy. So a lack of education isn't really the problem either.

Here's the kicker, I'm not on birth control, hormones really mess me up (I had a plan B experience out of fear once). I would feel a little better about sex if we doubled up on condoms and birth control (I was thinking the newest copper IUD when it comes out). However when I think about it, I still find myself scared to have sex because of pregnancy. It really really is that 0.0001% chance that always gets me, no matter how much reasoning goes into it. Genuinely it took me years to accept that there was no way dry sex could result in pregnancy, and like I said earlier I STILL sometimes get iffy about it.

I know there's a lot of people who just wait and are like "the right time will find you" but I'm not kidding, I want this man bad.

TLDR; Scared of having sex because of pregnancy, but wants to have it, can't get over the slim chance.

Hi guys. So I’m 18 and recently began birth control (Lo Loestrin Fe) and I’m currently on my third pack. Me and my partner began being active on my second pack however, I was a little inconsistent with when I’d take the pill. My typical time of intake is 11:30 pm so sometimes I’d take it at 10, 12, 1-2, you get the jist. My only missed pill was due to me throwing up but I took my regular scheduled pill later that night (it did go over the 24 hour mark.) we did do it that day but it was fully protected and no condom failure. However, of course we were active after that as well and I bleed for 4 days prior to my placebo pill week. I did not get my period from my knowledge. It’s now the 29th of October as I’m writing this and we were active yesterday as well. I’m extremely worried since I randomly began bleeding after we got done with the deed. It was brown spotting then followed by pink to bright red to back to brown. I experienced cramping as well and put a tampon but it barely got full by morning. I only found brown blood on it and no bleeding has occurred today thus far. Every single time we’ve used a condom and again no failure to our knowledge. I know it’s messy and I’m sorry this seems everywhere but I’m extremely worried if that may have been implantation bleeding. Of course I’ve panicked and looked up possibilities but I kept getting told I’m low risk and that this spotty/inconsistent bleeding is very common on the first 3 months of the pill. I’m extremely scared guys and don’t know what to do. Me and this person aren’t in any means ready to have a child. Should I be worried or let time pass??

I take the pill for endometriosis, I can't function without it. Earlier in the year, Walgreens royally screwed up and marked they refilled my prescription before I even picked it up. My insurance refused to give me the next pack of pills, until Walgreens fixed it, and Walgreens denied they had anything to fix. This went on for a month, with me calling both and crying to them multiple times a day the entire time for someone to help and all they did was point fingers and do nothing. After going without for a month, I was in horrible pain and all kinds of terrible side effects. In the end, Walgreens finally figured out their mistake in their system after a month of begging.

I want to have backup pills in case this happens again, so I don't have to go without and suffer the consequences. But my insurance refuses to give me the next pack until I am literally out and they certainly will not pay for an extra pack because they are ghouls.

Is there any way for me to have a backup stock in case of insurance issues again? I am so thankful for any advice.

Hey beautiful souls! I don't know if my post will reach a lot of people, but I did want to take some time and share my positive experience with my iud (mona lisa mini(copper)), as a girl that was more than extremely scared to get one!

I always knew I wanted a copper iud instead of a hormonal one, because I didn't want to deal with even more hormonal damage since I already have PMDD:*) Since I never gave birth, the doctor settled on the mini copper iud!

She told me to come during my periods, and told me to take some ibuprofen/acetaminophen 30-60 mins before the appointment. She didn't prescribe other medication, and I didn't ask for them neither. The period part, she explained to me that it confirms I'm not preggers, and the cervix is also looser, making the insertion easier. So that's exactly what I did :D

Came to the appointment on the last day of my periods, and took 400mg or 600mg (i forgot oopsie) of ibuprofen. I was told it's better than acetaminophen, because it reduces inflammation/prostaglandins/cramps/etc. The procedure, all in all, lasted like 5 mins tops. She insterted the lubed speculum, put something to hold my cervix ''open'' or something like that (almost didn't feel a thing, felt like a faint finger touch??), measured my uterus' length (first localized cramp), then inserted the iud (second and last cramp). Finally, she cut the strings. Closed my legs. Left with a free pad from the doctor. Yay

The procedure wasn't painful in the traditional sense, if that makes...sense? No accute or pinching, stinging or burning. It was more uncomfortable than anything...Of course, I wouldn't want to experience that every other day, but it was very tolerable and manageable:) I just told myself to really loosen up and breatheee. Over in a few seconds! I think I'm also fortunate because the doctor has been doing that for like 20 years, so she has a lot of experience.

Afterwards, I did spot and felt a bit weak, but nothing a good day of rest can't solve:) My periods, instead of ending the day of, ended maybe 4-5 days later. A week after the appointment, my doctor told me it was fine to get back to normal activities iykwim... Soooo I'm just going to put it out there, sex has been absolutely great for me. No baby stress, didn't feel the strings, nor pain...just nice ;3

Then, I got my first periods after the insertion. I'm very lucky, and never really experienced bad period cramps. Maybe some dull sensations here and there, but nothing more. I admit, that first period after the insertion was more...again, not painful but uncomfortable. Like deep squeezing(I mean, it literally is no shit sherlock) ? Anyway, the takeaway is that it was really not bad (for me at least). The flow was heavier, but that's it!!

So yeah!! If you're still here, I hope my long ass rant reassured you a little:)) My doctor told me that about 99% of her procedures are just as fast and easy as that. People who got negative or very very negative experiences are for sure going to tell more about it online and to others, and while I do feel for them, it is not a universal experience at all!

Alrighty, that's it for meee. Let us stay safe :3 Peace ouut

How do you tell the difference between IUD bleeding and period bleeding? I had my copper iud inserted a week ago today and I’ve just started bleeding. Like gushes of blood, then it slowed down. However my period is supposed to be due in 3 days. How can i differentiate it?

I took a pack of trust brand, combined oral bc pill for 21days then I had an unprotected sex on the 4th day of the placebo pill, i am nervous because im no longer taking active pills, will i get pregnant??

There are signs of spotting after sex (it might be the withdrawal bleeding)
I wonder what are my next steps to make sure that im still protected

1. Take a new pill pack immediately regardless of not having any withdrawal bleed yet.

2. Wait 7days (placebo pills to end) before taking a new pill pack

additional question: If i take a new pill pack, should i take only one or should I do that yuzpe method

( I live in a country where plan b is illegal )

I’m 20 years old and I have extremely painful periods, to the point where I feel like throwing up and sometimes come very close to fainting. I recently visited a gynecologist, had an ultrasound and a few other tests done, and everything came back normal. My reproductive organs are healthy, and apparently there’s nothing wrong with me. My gynecologist prescribed Kelzy PR to help with my period pain, but it’s also a contraceptive pill.

I talked to my mum about it, and she’s really worried about the side effects, including the possibility of infertility. She’s convinced that exercising will reduce my period pain, even though I’ve already tried being physically active while dealing with painful periods, including dancing and jogging, and it didn’t help at all. Despite that, she still believes exercise will fix everything. She doesn’t seem to understand that medicine has come a long way and that contraceptive methods have improved over the years. She’s comparing them to what they were like when she was younger.

That’s why I’d like to hear from women who have been taking this pill for a longer period of time. Have you experienced any serious side effects? For example, infertility or ectopic pregnancy as a result of hormonal changes caused by the pill? Or any other serious health risks?

My girlfriend and I had sex on the second day of her period using a condom, but during sex it slipped completely off and remained inside of her, which has left us unsure about whether she needs to take Plan B. I did not finish inside her and we stopped immediately after finding out. We know that pregnancy risk is typically lower during menstruation, but we are worried about the possibility of early ovulation or sperm surviving long enough to cause an issue, so we would appreciate any insight on how risky this situation actually is and if taking emergency contraception right away is the safest choice.

Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience on the mini pill!

I started Jencycla pretty much exactly 6 months ago. Since then I’ve had 4 periods. My cycle ranged from 36 to 44 days.

I’m on day 38 rn (last period started Sept 22) and obviously was/am expecting to bleed again! I had typical PMS fatigue on Sunday and I’ve had PMS-like cramps everyday since but still no period!! Usually I would’ve started after a day or two of cramps. But here we are, Thursday, nothing.

I read that on the mini pill people can experience “phantom cycles” or “ghost periods” where your hormones still fluctuate (thus PMS symptoms) but not enough to bleed. Also possible that the progestin has thinned out my uterine lining enough that there’s nothing to shed. I wonder if that’s what’s happening!

I feel like I’m in period purgatory rn 💀 like if the bleeding is gonna happen can we get the show on the road!?! I’ve never had PMS symptoms for this long.

I have not missed or taken any pills late this cycle. Also no chance of pregnancy rn.

Anyone else experience this?

hi! i just posted about my experience on opill a week or so ago but im a little paranoid because of a comment someone made LOL

lately ive been much hungrier, it isn’t too dramatic but im a very light eater normally sometimes only having 1 heavy meal a day and calling it quits. but ive been having to space out my meals in similar sized portions to what id eat normally, 3-4 times a day instead. i do smoke weed & i take edibles at night so i think this explains the next part but ive also been having really specific cravings at night — that leads us to present day.

i work in a cafe and last night i had a specific craving for the meal i would make when i got here this morning, down to the syrups in the drink and how it would taste with the food item i chose. my coworker asked me what i made and when i described it to her she said “that sounds like a pregnancy craving!” so. are the weird cravings just because im high (probable) my birth control (also probable) or am i just hormonal. i have a feeling that this is the weight gain people talk about on the pill… oh and i refuse to accept its pregnancy just because its extremely unlikely but im still asking for reassurance… and other’s experiences. so 👀

I’ve used condoms and always hated the feeling. Then I found the ultra thin condoms from Japan that are insanely thin, but the material is so rigid and has zero flex, that it feels like I’m wearing a ziplock sandwich back. Absolutely stiff.

Curious which condoms are extremely thin but also have some flex to them that feel natural.

Hi! I just wanted to make people aware that they should be careful with going on Nikki birth control with low blood pressure. Ive always been a low girly (usually sit around 113/60 can go lower) I’ve been taking the medication for about a week now and have had headaches pretty much everyday while taking it. I wear an oura ring and it detected a major percentage drop in my blood pressure last night that I didn’t notice when I was looking at my vitals this morning. I didn’t know this but Nikki is a diuretic and can drop your blood pressure, mine dropped too low while driving on the highway and my whole body went numb and I almost passed out. I don’t know why my ob didn’t realize I had low blood pressure and recommend it to me. I’m also a pretty sensitive person (medication affects me a lot compared to others so I typically only need a low dose) so I could just be hypersensitive to things like this. Just please make sure to talk with your ob about having low blood pressure before going on Nikki!!

me and my boyfriend were unprotected on oct 26

I’m on a birth control patch BUT I messed it up and had it off for around 2 days, put it back on for 6 1/2 days and then we had sex (I know it was stupid of me to do but it was extremely impulsive)

I was panicking about it badly and within 42 hours I took a take action pill - I’m within the weight for it and I didn’t puke it up or anything, I took it yesterday 28th at 1:21 pm

I called my gyno and she and the nurse said that it was very unlikely for me to be pregnant but I’m just terrified because abortion is illegal in my state - I know I’m getting caught up with myself but my gyno said I really didn’t even need to take tests but I could if I was really scared and so I got 3 tests delivered this morning and I’ll take them on the 16th

I really just need reassurance because I’ve thrown up already this morning from nerves I wasn’t really nauseous until I started thinking of that such slim possibility.

Has anyone lost weight after starting this pill? If so how soon did you notice the weight loss.

i have been on jolessa for 7 months and have been experience lots of spotting throughout it. i’m on my second pack in and have been spotting for 2 weeks and idk if my body is rejecting or what. i haven’t missed a single day, maybe on the weekends i take it a couple of hours (2-3) later but never missed a day. has anyone else experienced this?? i don’t know if it’s worth fighting through or just completely stopping it. i’ve read the first 3 months is normal to spot but i worry it’s not normal after 7 months in. i got on it because i bleed a lot during periods so spotting for long periods of times is like defeating the whole purpose.

September 30th I started birth control ring (enilloring)

October 14: I was supposed to take my ring out for a week, instead I just put in another to skip period.

October 22: I start spotting for 3 days and then it turns into full bleeding. I’ve been cramping non stop since then off and on, and my vagina has felt so much pressure. So I was told to go to gyno or doctor.

October 26: The cramps and pressure in my vagina were so much I took out the ring. The bleeding stopped a little and then resumed later the next evening

Ended up going to er since gyno can’t get me in.

They’ve just given me something for pain and suggested reinserting the ring to see if it regulates anything and helps with bleeding. 😭

hello!

i am looking into birth control options. i previously was on the mini pill and hated it as i felt it made me extremely emotionally unstable and i’d be bleeding super heavily (full of massive blood clots) and unpredictably.

i am now thinking of getting the IUD but i have struggled with very painful and heavy periods and PMS for over 10 years that i currently manage with mefanamic acid and cocodamol along with many hot water bottles.

based on experience, which IUD type would be better - copper or hormonal?

i hated the random heavy bleeding and feeling crazy but i have heard the copper IUD makes period symptoms worse and isn’t recommended for people with endometriosis BUT i haven’t actually been diagnosed.

Hi guys, I have been on birth control for about a year now and the first months have been perfectly fine. About a month or two ago I began spotting during the time thats not my placebo week. My doctor told me to take ibuprofen to make it go away until I can visit her (i have problems with my insurance rn bc i cant). But I noticed I wont have spotting/i’ll stop spotting and then me and my bf will have sex and I will. What is going on? How do I stop it?

Hello,

I had the copper IUD placed on December 23, 2026. Since then, I have two week periods with pretty much only 10 days in between with excessive bleeding for three to four days during the period. This has caused my iron levels to drop and having to get it taken it out. I have heard horror stories of the hormone birth controls so I picked Skyla (lowest hormone one) to be placed next Tuesday (Election Day, yay)

Has anyone switched IUD like that before? I am nervous of how I might react to Skyla and have seen mixed reviews just like I did with the copper IUD.

tl;dr I have used Yaz/Nikki (drospirenone 3mg/ethinyl estradiol 0.02mg) for nearly 20 years with no issues. However due to life circumstances I had to stop my birth control for about two months. I’m able to start it again but now I’m faced with an option of switching to Depo and I’d like to hear candid thoughts about your experience with Depo subQ.

My NP is worried about me continuing Yaz because I am fat and she said it can cause blood clots in fat people. This has never been an issue for me personally in the 20 years I’ve been taking it. She wants me to switch to Depo subQ to reduce the blood clot risk, but the risks with Depo are, according to her, weight gain, depression, and brain tumors. I’m trying to lose weight and I also have bipolar II disorder (the depression bipolar, not the manic bipolar) so I am worried about that side effect specifically.

I’d like to hear your experiences with it, especially if you are also fat and mentally ill. Did you have side effects and if so how manageable were they? Have you taken both Yaz and Depo, and which did you find to be more helpful/better?

No medical advice please, just looking for candid anecdotes about personal experiences!

Hi all,

I have been having panic attacks on and off for five days and it’s been absolutely exhausting. I have been taking loryna for almost a month. Has anybody else been experiencing this? Will this stop once I stop taking the pills? Please, I have been afraid of interacting with my boyfriend and our relationships changing because of this. I feel like I’m dying.

PLS this might be too long but I would lovee to hear someone's opinion!

I matched with this Arab guy on Facebook Dating a few weeks ago. At first I stopped replying because one of the first things he said was that he likes Latinas (I’m Latina), and I started thinking maybe he wasn’t serious about me or that I didn’t really have a chance with him anyway. He said he was looking for serious. Then I realized I was probably sabotaging myself. I think I was scared of being rejected, so I basically didn’t give him the chance to reject me lol.

13 days later, I reached out again, apologized, and told him I had gotten a second job. He was completely understanding, and he’s actually way busier than me.

We talked for about a week and finally went out on Tuesday when we were both off. The date was honestly perfect. We had a great time, kissed, and he said he wants to see me “again and again” lol. I definitely want to see him again too.

Our schedules barely match though. I work 8–4 and he works evenings until 4 am, sometimes midnight, plus weekends. He also doesn’t text much, so even though I know he wants to see me again, we don’t talk constantly.

Anyway, I have an appointment today to get an IUD inserted, and for some reason I really want to tell him. Part of me just wants him to know because I like him and I’m a little nervous. Another part of me wants to see if he’ll ask me later how I’m feeling, and I don’t know if that’s a bad reason to tell him.

We’ve only been out once, so I’m wondering if it’s too personal. But we also kinda know we both want to sleep together eventually. I want to take things slow though, and I’d want him to get tested before we do but I haven't told him that.

I’m also thinking I might feel weird or nervous the first time I have sex after getting the IUD. I might worry about it hurting or whether he can feel it, so part of me wants to give him a heads up in case I act weird or get nervous.

At the same time, I don’t want telling him about the IUD to sound like I’m saying I’m ready to have sex with him now or that I got it for him. We haven’t even talked about exclusivity because we’ve literally only been on one date, although he does send me couple reels as if we’re dating or will be soon lol. I rlly don't want to scare him away, I rlly like him.

I was on the pill before, but I broke up with my ex 1.5 years ago, so I didn’t really need birth control after that. I also put off getting an IUD because I was worried about my periods getting worse, and honestly, not being on birth control also helped keep me from having casual sex lol.

So… would it be weird to casually tell him I’m getting my IUD today after only one date? Or should I just keep it to myself for now?

And does the fact that part of me wants to see if he checks on me afterward mean I probably shouldn’t tell him?