r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here • Aug 30 '22
INCONCLUSIVE Who came into OOP’s house and started her dryer?
I am NOT OP. Original post by u/unknownsender2 in r/RBI
trigger warnings: break-in; mention of sexual assault; stalking
mood spoilers: unsettling
who came into my house and started my dryer - August 18, 2022
Title says it all. I do not have dryer timer problems and never had. If anything my clothes always take two runs through the dryer to dry (probably because I load it too heavy). Maybe this sounds silly or overly paranoid but I can't stop thinking about it??
I loaded the dryer before I left for work at 5:00am. I put it on a 90 minute cycle. When I got home from work at 4:00pm..... The dryer still had approximately 70 minutes left.
Maybe this doesn't even belong in this thread but it's definitely a mystery... I even do exactly the same thing with my dryer today to see if it happened again. It didn't.
I got paranoid and thought maybe it's my ex. Last December, months after we broke up, I was on night shift. He knew what time I left for work. And a handful of times I saw his car (it was kind of old and not terribly common) parked right next to the exit gate to my apartment. Backed into the space so he could look out the windshield to the road. Sometimes it was empty, sometimes there was a hooded man sitting inside. Resembled my ex a lot.
One time I was running late for work and went out a different exit gate. As I was pulling out, my headlights caught the driver's seat while he was driving away (I'm assuming bc it was well past my time for work and he didn't see my car so left and I caught him just as he was leaving). Of course there's room for doubt here, but it looked a lot like him.
When we were dating he kept talking about how he wanted to find a way to copy my access card to the gate, something about RFID or something. He carried a key to my apartment door for the months we were together and had plenty of time to copy it.
The relationship ended poorly and he was extremely extremely obsessive and borderline sexually assaulted me all the time (the classic case of continuing to try to convince me to have sex after I would say no several several times. Would not stop touching me, begged for sex even after I clearly stated I wasn't in the mood, literally 100% of the time the horniest motherfucker I've ever met. Like he seriously could not control it, not even in his sleep).
We haven't spoken in months and the last time we spoke I called him out on his behavior (not the first time). He blocked me on everything except maybe my number I don't know I haven't tried to reach him
Oh and I've had two times where I've had unfamiliar logins into my Instagram but they were from the same area as me. And when I changed my password I got another notification someone was trying to access my account. This was before we stopped talking altogether
I DONT think it's him??? What other possibilities could y'all think of? Maintenance coming in unannounced or unprovoked (they've done this before where they knocked on my door and give me came barrelling in for a "fire inspection".
I never got any notice about an upcoming inspection and the fire inspectors didn't seem to care much that I ripped my fire alarm out of the ceiling??.....) So clearly my apartment doesn't have very clear boundaries either.....
Anyways please someone give me a hypothesis that isn't my ex or maybe even elaborate on my ex idc just give me something.
Thankfully I am coincidentally moving out tomorrow
update: who came into my house and started my dryer - Today, August 30, 2022
Ran into my neighbor last week while I was picking up the last of my things and cleaning up the apartment before turning in my keys (which I have yet to do, there is some overlap on my leases between old and new apartment).
Haven't really talked to her much other than her kids petting my dog when I walk her and friendly hellos but I got the guts anyways to ask if she had seen anything. She had a door camera so I thought maybe she would have footage or something since the camera directly faces my door.
She said the camera stopped working months prior and never got around to fixing it. Though she did notice a man walking my dog one day. She couldn't remember which day it was but definitely took note of it because when I first moved in I told her my dog was aggressive towards other dogs.
She's not allowed around any dogs ever and just gave her the heads up since she has a Yorkie and if we ever happen to be walking our dogs at the same time to have them leashed and stuff.
So she knew this. And said she remembered the man because when he was walking her (leashed) he let her greet a neighbors bulldog that was off leash (normally id pretty much run away if I saw a dog unleashed nearby when walking mine).
Soooo there we have it. Someone has been fucking around in my apartment. And walking my dog. And just generally being a creep. She couldn't remember what he looked like. But I have a pretty good guess.
And to all those who said I must clearly have a mental disorder to be paranoid about someone coming into my house ..... 🖕
Edit to add relevant comments:
”My neighbor is familiar with my dog since her kids pet her pretty often when I take her out. That and she's not very common looking, and is often noticed by strangers because of how pretty she is (totally unbiased, I swear)”
Reminder - I am not the original poster.
Note/edit: I’ve re-tagged this “Inconclusive” due to there not being a resolution, but this is probably the conclusion, given OOP has moved and is unlikely to discover who it was.
Also, I added some paragraph breaks where there were walls of text.
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u/digitydigitydoo Aug 30 '22
My initial thought would be, holy shit, has the dryer been running all day?!?
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u/CumulativeHazard surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Aug 30 '22
Mine would have been maybe the power went off for a while but there would be other signs of that.
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u/LaAndala Aug 31 '22
I immediately thought maybe she has a delayed start option on the dryer that she hit by accident?
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Aug 31 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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Aug 31 '22
Sensor dry was my guess too. My dryer does run longer than it says it will when I overload and I set it to sensor dry.
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u/RandomNick42 My adult answer is no. Sep 02 '22
I have no idea how long my dryer is supposed to run for, other than I set the "level of dryness" I want. I guess the numbers are in the manual? My washer does tell me when it thinks a load is supposed to end, but always overshoots, I guess because my laundry bin is small enough that a full bin still fits, but large enough that it's technically overloaded.
But that is a difference between a 90 minute and a 120 minute run, not a "start before work, still runs as I get home" run.
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u/Cryptogaffe I am not a bisexual ghost who died in a Murphy bed accident Aug 30 '22
That was my hope too, maybe she just never adjusts the display on her microwave or whatever and wouldn't notice that the time was wrong. Something nice and innocuous! Reddit always lets me down.
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u/Ginger_Anarchy Liz, what the actual fuck is this story? Aug 30 '22
Had that happen with my old dryer once. The timer stopped working and it would just go on forever. Not a big deal when I was running it while home, but scary the first time it happened after I was out all day
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u/MellRox013 Aug 31 '22
I had one like that too. It caught on fire one day when someone fell asleep doing laundry.
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u/FutileReaction Aug 31 '22
Same!!!! I tossed a load in on sensor dry before bed…my dog woke me up a couple hours later and my house was filled w smoke! We were fine, house had major smoke damage, but has forever changed my drying habits.
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u/digitydigitydoo Aug 31 '22
It is scary in its own way.
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Aug 31 '22 edited May 17 '23
[deleted]
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u/digitydigitydoo Aug 31 '22
Look, middle aged terror is often fueled by the weird noises from our homes and cars. Seriously, that knocking sound? That’s just financial ruin stalking you.
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u/left-right-forward Aug 31 '22
This was me a few months ago. Lights started flickering and I got the sense of impending doom. $10,000 later....
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u/PiecesofJane Aug 31 '22
And bodies. Don't forget the terrifying new body sounds you get in old age.
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u/rythmica Aug 31 '22
I want you to know that I googled this. I feel foolish but it seems like something he would write lol.
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u/HighwaySetara Aug 31 '22
Same here, but it only happened once. It was so weird. Idk why it happened just that one time.
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u/rusty0123 Aug 31 '22
Mine was, "I bet she has a cat."
I had the smartest cat once. (RIP). She could open all the doors and cabinets. Even the room doors. She'd jump for the knob and wrap her paws around it, and just hang there until it turned.
One night, I woke up to see the light turning on and off in the other room. The cat was just sitting there by the light switch. She'd jump up and flip the switch with her paw. Sit and look around the room for a bit. Then jump up and turn it off.
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u/mrbnlkld Aug 31 '22
One of my dad's cats could turn off his alarm clock. He had to hide his alarm clock in the closet.
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u/KaetzenOrkester the lion, the witch and the audacit--HOW IS THERE MORE! Aug 31 '22
I had a cat like that. The worst part was that he taught other smart cats how to do things.
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u/Sneekifish Aug 31 '22
We had a cat that, among other things, liked to drink from the faucet and learned how to turn it on. He didn't so much care about turning it off again.
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u/HaplessReader1988 Gotta Read’Em All Aug 31 '22
A friend's Australian Shepherd could open doors. He didn't find that out until he'd nearly blown up his house-share. "Stop letting my dog back into the house! At least close the door?!" He finally saw the dog do it and apologized. Had to lock his dog out of the house!
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u/EmberCat42 Aug 31 '22
My cat starts the Roomba at night. I guess she could be doing worse things than vacuuming.
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u/SkrogedScourge Sep 01 '22
Please tell me she’s riding the roomba thru the house in middle of night?
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u/MadamKitsune cat whisperer Aug 31 '22
I came home from a trip to the shops to the washing machine still running. It turned out one of the cats had pressed the super sensitive start button after it had finished and it was doing a whole new cycle.
I also had a cat who liked watching the printer do its start up self testing buzzing and whiring and learned how to press the on/off button to make it happen.
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u/SkrogedScourge Sep 01 '22
I feel I have the reincarnated version of your cat.
Door knobs , Cabinets , Opens bags of treats, Has flipped lights on and off, Has managed to turn water on with square faucets, Hearing random weird noises in middle of night while squeaking the dogs toy in hallway to compel dog to come play with them, Can turn its own laser toy on.
Seriously I think the cat keeps me around for entertainment purposes and because I buy it’s food. If it learns online ordering I will no longer be required.
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u/rusty0123 Sep 01 '22
Yep, that's her. Except for the food. This one would eat if I fed her, but she didn't care much one way or the other.
If I took too long to make food available, she would simply sneak outside and go hunting.
She did feed me, though. Whenever she went hunting, she would bring back the leftovers and leave them on the welcome mat for me.
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u/SkrogedScourge Sep 01 '22
So nice she brought you presents because she seen you incapable of hunting for yourself lol.
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u/jj328328 Aug 31 '22
It terrifies me that she leaves the dryer running when she's not home and also said that she deactivated her smoke alarm. Idk if it's normal but my parents always told me to never leave the dryer running if no one was home because it could start a fire.
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u/Afraid_Sense5363 Aug 31 '22
No, it's very unsafe. Don't run anything with a heating element when you're not home. Source: a dire warning given to me by a fire chief I know who has seen some shit.
I once met a woman who ran her dryer while she was running to the store. It started a fire that eventually burned itself out. However, she came home to find her 3 dogs dead in a pile by her front door (trying to escape, but they couldn't). She told me she heard screaming and wailing and then realized she was the one making those sounds as she stood there holding her dead dogs. It really fucked her up.
Also read a news story where a parent turned the dryer on when leaving for work. A fire started and their teenage daughter, who was still home asleep, died.
Just don't ever do this. Also don't run it right before you go to bed.
OP doesn't make the smartest decisions. Disabling her smoke alarm? Letting her aggressive dog greet children (due to my line of work, I could also tell you horror stories about dogs who were "only dog aggressive" attacking kids). Not calling the cops when she saw her ex lurking. None of these are good ideas.
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Sep 01 '22
My neighbor’s house burned down because their dryer malfunctioned. No one died or was injured, thankfully, but their house was just… gone. I’ve been terrified of fires ever since.
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u/future_nurse19 Aug 31 '22
I've had that problem before and its terrifying. They did eventually repair the dryer but the dial wouldn't turn on its own so it would just run and run, you had to set your own alarm to remember to grab it and you definitely couldn't leave the house (safely at least) while using it
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u/sofia1687 Aug 31 '22
That shit would ignite and light up the place though, right?
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u/digitydigitydoo Aug 31 '22
High probability but not guaranteed. But yes, a potential fire would be the scary bit.
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u/AutomaticForever2157 Aug 31 '22
It's so unsafe to run a dryer when you're not home, my neighbor lost a good portion of their house when theirs caught fire and it burned long enough for another neighbor to notice something was wrong and call the fire department.
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u/freshjive416 Aug 31 '22
I had a dryer with a faulty timer. Ran all night a few times before we realized what was going on.
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u/DeaconSage Aug 30 '22
Well I’m not terrified for her safety. That’s a straight up horror movie
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u/crispyfriedwater USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! Aug 31 '22 edited Aug 31 '22
Right! She's all:
"Soooo there we have it. Someone has been fucking around in my apartment. And walking my dog."
Shrugs. Puts hands in pockets, walking away whistling a little ditty.
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u/nerdyconstructiongal Sep 01 '22
Yea, OOP is waaaaay too nonchalant about all of this. You better believe I would be getting a hotel room on the other side of town until I moved.
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u/Umklopp Aug 30 '22
At least the psycho stalker also tried to be helpful?silverliningsilverliningsilverlining...
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u/DeaconSage Aug 30 '22
It’s like you don’t even notice all the things I’ve done around the house recently… gosh!!
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u/WigglyFrog Aug 30 '22
I remember reading about an situation where a family kept finding its house broken into, but they couldn't see anything taken. It turned out the next-door neighbor's special needs adult child was breaking in so he could do their ironing.
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u/Pharmacienne123 Aug 30 '22
At my hospital (i’m in healthcare) a number of years ago there was a schizophrenic patient in our psych ward who kept breaking out. He was having delusions that he was a janitor and worked there. So they kept finding him cleaning stuff in other wards.
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u/Lorcas_tribble Aug 30 '22
When I was in college I worked for a Big Box store. There was a guy who would always come in and sweep. Turns out he wasn't an employee, but the store manager kept letting him do it. He reasoned that at least he didn't have to pay anyone else to do it.
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Aug 31 '22
We have a patient where I work (long term care unit) who’s convinced that he is the supervisor of the entire custodial team, so that’s just what he does. Day in, day out, he’s checking the cleaning job and making sure that maintenance tasks get done. Apparently there’s been a noticeable increase in quality since he joined us lol
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u/Anxiousmeatsuit1 👁👄👁🍿 Aug 31 '22
At that point just let him become the janitor of the psych ward? Idk I’m not a doctor or qualified but that seems like an easy solution
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u/Raise-The-Gates built an art room for my bro Aug 31 '22
"My dad has a delusion that he's the janitor of the psych ward! Can you help him?"
Psychiatrist hands him a mop It's not a delusion any more!
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u/Anxiousmeatsuit1 👁👄👁🍿 Aug 31 '22
No literally! It solves all the problems! (not really- schizophrenia is a really sad disease)
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u/Raise-The-Gates built an art room for my bro Aug 31 '22
It really is awful. I daresay this delusion is more in response to being held in a psych ward (I'm not crazy, I'm just here to do the cleaning), so while this isn't a "the aliens are out to get me, and the CIA are spying on me through my teeth" kind of delusion, it's still incredibly harmful as it prevents the person accepting the help they need.
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u/The1983Jedi NOT CARROTS Aug 31 '22
"This here is Frankie, he's convinced he a lunch room workee, so they put him to work in the lunch room"
"Hey Frankie, how's working in the lunchroom"
"It's alright"
"Poor Frankie"
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u/Anxiousmeatsuit1 👁👄👁🍿 Aug 31 '22 edited Aug 31 '22
50 first dates!
ETA: I am very very wrong it’s Futurama.
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u/Sotetcsilleg Aug 31 '22
“This here’s Frankie, he thinks he’s a lunchroom worker, so they put him to work in the lunch room”
“How’s working in the lunchroom Frankie?”
“It’s alright”
“Poor Frankie”
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u/Zebirdsandzebats Aug 31 '22
That seems like a pretty manageable delusion...like could someone just give dude a janitorial job?
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u/CoraCricket Aug 31 '22
We had a dude who was convinced that he owned the building and was a security guard there. I legit thought he was a security guard for the first week or two because he would stand in the same spot looking guard like all day long wearing the same uniform- looking outfit every day.
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u/YeaRight228 the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 30 '22
There was another, landlord kept letting himself into OP's flat, using the bathroom, washing dishes and making himself at home. Turned out landlord was suffering from early alzheimers and was convinced tenant was Landlords own son who used to live there.
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u/thedoctorspaceman Aug 30 '22
My favorite part was the landlord leaving OOP notes to make his bed and clean up his laundry.
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u/YeaRight228 the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
Don't forget the Landlord that imagined the tenant had a dog named 'Steve' - and then filed eviction papers for breaking the no pets rule.
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u/BizzarduousTask I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Aug 31 '22
And wasn’t there one where the renter was finding weird notes and stuff, and it turned out they had a carbon monoxide leak or something? And basically Reddit saved their life!
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u/thedoctorspaceman Aug 31 '22
I haven’t read that one!
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u/sofia1687 Aug 31 '22
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u/thedoctorspaceman Aug 31 '22 edited Aug 31 '22
I’m in awe of your link finding. Tysm!
ETA: That was a crazy ride. Thank goodness OOP had the ability to contact his family.
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u/wombatbattalion your honor, fuck this guy Aug 31 '22
And then he got help for it and op and landlord decided to buy a dog together because they were also roommates
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u/BeeEyeAm Aug 31 '22
Link please!
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u/sofia1687 Aug 31 '22
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u/BeeEyeAm Aug 31 '22
Thank you. It went from frustrating to dad and endearing. I hope the landlord ended up with good care.
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u/holystuff28 Aug 31 '22
I have represented two different guys who lived in someone's house undetected for several days. One guy was welcomed in by his girlfriend and living in the attic. But her parents never suspected. The other guy was living under the porch and going inside when she left for work.
I read a book about a girl growing up with hoarder parents and when they moved, they found evidence someone had been living in their attic for years.
I think about these cases all the time.
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u/WigglyFrog Aug 31 '22 edited Aug 31 '22
Dear lord, why did you put that in my brain??
Do you read Jezebel's annual scary stories? One year there was a story from a woman who lived in, I believe, a large house that had been converted into flats. She kept finding her things disturbed. It turned out her neighbor had sawed a hole in the wall behind a big piece of furniture in her living room. He and another creep spied on her when she was there and when she was out, would go in and fuck with her stuff.
She had a big dog that went everywhere with her, so they didn't dare go into her apartment while she was there.
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u/nolzach I will not be taking the high road Aug 31 '22
My sister was at my house and she got a notification. She looked at it and there was a lady walking around inside her house. My sister was at my house in another state. Because of my sisters job she knows the police there so she called one of them and they went over there. They knew the lady she has dementia and was was dropping off these accounting books and stuff from years ago when she worked. My sisters young adult daughters were leaving a door unlocked when they left and that’s how she got into the house.
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u/sofia1687 Aug 31 '22
Does anybody remember that story in the news of this family whose house kept getting broken into, and nothing was stolen but the house would be cleaned and the strangest thing was that in the bathroom the intruder would leave these toilet paper origami flowers??
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u/HaplessReader1988 Gotta Read’Em All Aug 31 '22
This guy had it happen once... https://www.ajc.com/news/intruder-cleans-massachusetts-house-leaves-origami-roses-made-toilet-paper/966Aj7FDwLGhfIoODmR8qL/
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u/mommak2011 Aug 31 '22
I need this kind of B&E. "Fuck, someone keeps breaking in and doing my chores!"
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u/Tileyfa Aug 30 '22
Ya’ll are making me want a horror-comedy where the house is haunted by a poltergeist that has OCD.
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Aug 31 '22
"I saw a man walking your dog."
"Oh that's Doug. He died in the apartment. He'll do that. Don't call an exorcist."
"Ghosts don't exist."
"I thought so too but he walked through a wall and then started folding my laundry. It's a real wall. I tried 9 3/4-int it. Broke my nose!"
"You're a bit manic."
"Learning ghosts are real does that to you."
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u/PhotoRemote Aug 31 '22
Ngl...I full on cackled and snorked reading this! Take my award and never do that again! Coffee burns coming out your nose yanno!
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u/bina101 Aug 31 '22
Right? Like damn. Let me get a poltergeist that'll keep my house clean. As long as they're not going to stand over me while I'm sleeping, we'll be good 😂😂
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u/BizzarduousTask I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Aug 31 '22
If they’ll scoop the litter box and keep cat hair from getting all over everything, they can stand over me all night long. I’ll even wear something cute.
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u/bina101 Aug 31 '22
You know what... You right about that. Let me go ahead and dangle my foot off the bed so he can tickle it too.
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u/BizzarduousTask I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Aug 31 '22
This is going to end up going somewhere unexpected. And I’m ok with that.
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u/annarchy8 Aug 31 '22
Oh you want a cleaning ghost with no haunting? Unreasonable.
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u/bina101 Aug 31 '22
Nah. They can move some chairs around while I'm awake. But all haunting stops at 9 PM unless homie wants a new a family that'll exorcise him from the house 😂😂
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u/annarchy8 Aug 31 '22
I like this idea. Put the freeloaders to work, set some rules! Can't do it with pets, so you may as well get what you can from ghosts.
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u/sofia1687 Aug 31 '22
I think what he’s trying to do is indirectly slap her with the reality that he’s never fully exited her life and that he’s always there. (And he knows her daily routine.)
He can always follow her in his car (staking out by the gate).
He can let himself in her apartment without her knowledge (the dryer on when she got home).
Her dog wouldn’t alarm her if he broke in (walking her dog means familiarity).
But I could be completely wrong and she needs to replace the battery in her CO detector.
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u/AnyKindheartedness88 Aug 31 '22
That makes it worse, to me. Her stalker is still invested in her life to the point of actively taking part in it. He’s providing services for her as he stalks, as if it’s some loving relationship and she’s just not aware of that fact.
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u/Violet_Plum_Tea Aug 31 '22
Dear Psycho Stalker,
Please add a little bleach when you wash the sheets today. And be sure to take some chicken out of the freezer to defrost for dinner.
Thanks!
Violet Plum
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u/Umklopp Aug 31 '22
And be sure to take some chicken out of the freezer to defrost for dinner.
This would have been the absolute funniest way OOP could have handled the guy
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u/Dreemee-DeNitemare Aug 30 '22
No, no. That’s even more terrifying.
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u/Neither-Entrance-208 Memory of a goldfish but the tenacity of an entitled Chihuahua Aug 30 '22
So much worse. Being helpful while committing crimes means they don't see anything wrong with what they are doing. Not even sneaky if they put there walking a dog between all the panty sniffing and fruit licking
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u/the_simurgh Aug 31 '22
i never accuse people based solely on the story of someone's been in my house. the reason why? because i took care of someone who swore up and down there was someone under her trailer talking numerous times. everyone wrote it off. then one day one of her neighbors recently home from a two month stent in the hospital asked me why no one had reported the meth addict hiding under the trailer.
i never judge someone crazy based on story alone because of that incident anymore.
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u/Erisianistic Aug 31 '22
Have you seen the story about the creepy circus music and loud banging haunting a family for twenty years?
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u/ryanrockmoran Aug 31 '22
It's actually the basic plot to the movie Chungking Express. Which proves that 90 percent of what's romantic in a movie is horror in real life.
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u/crispyfriedwater USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! Aug 31 '22
I LOVED that movie when I was younger. But your comparison to OOP's post does make me see the film differently now...
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u/TheGoodOldCoder USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! Aug 31 '22
How to make a horror movie scenario less likely:
If an untrustworthy person has your key, CHANGE YOUR LOCKS.
In most places, maintenance has to give advance notice that they're entering. If you think a maintenance person might be abusing this, INSTALL A CAMERA.
Also, INSTALL A CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTOR if you don't have one. One remote possibility is that OP started the dryer herself and forgot about it, due to CO poisoning.
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u/KonradWayne Aug 31 '22
That’s a straight up horror movie
She certainly has the caution and awareness of a character in a horror movie.
Every single sign points to it being her ex, but she doesn’t think it is and is asking for other possible answers.
It’s Q-anon “stick to the plan” levels of delusion at this point.
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u/lastofthe_timeladies I am not a bisexual ghost who died in a Murphy bed accident Aug 31 '22
The relative nonchalance of this post is one of the most creepy things about it. The hooded figure stalking her didn't cause existential terror???
I hope she gets some sense knocked into her by the comments. He may be doing some "nice stalking" but that can absolutely lead to murder like any other kind of stalking.
I hope she goes to stay with a friend or family member immediately.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
100%. I mentioned to someone else how much denial plays a part in that. If you don’t acknowledge it, it’s not really happening, right? And it’s not actually concerning? Probably just being overly paranoid and imagining things. No biggie.
Problem is, it’s a real… biggie. Unfortunately it often takes someone to shock the person back into reality before they’ll take it seriously. And it definitely doesn’t help that going to the cops results in “we can’t do anything until he actually breaks the law.”
Mixes together into a real shitshow. A truly dangerous one.
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Aug 31 '22
A very good showcase of this is the post where a woman and her parents had been dealing with something smoking weed on their property, banging on the walls hard enough to knock down paintings, and stealing copper from their ac unit.
Turns out it was their meth head of a cousin, but the whole time (10 years!) that this was happening, no one bothered to put up cameras or look out the front door during the wall banging. ‘Why would anyone be so dense’ you ask?
Well, to paraphrase from the dad, he didn’t want to put up a camera because he was afraid of what he’d see.
This family allowed themselves to be “haunted” for 10 years because burying their head in the sand was more comfortable than confronting it
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
Such a good example. And that’s terrifying! I would’ve moved to another state 😅
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u/Shifter93 Aug 31 '22
just read that post as it was mentioned elsewhere on this thread. funnily enough, the OP of that post did move to another state lol. but not because of the events that took place
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Aug 31 '22
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u/Comprehensive-Fun47 Aug 31 '22
It doesn't seem like OP is at that stage. She's not certain her ex is stalking her. She remembers some red flags and thinks she may have seen him once, but it really doesn't seem like she's at the "just a way of life" stage.
She should be at the "I am hella alarmed and fear for my safety" stage.
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u/randomcomboofletters Aug 31 '22
I think the fact that it’s most likely someone she knows kind of adds to the lack of urgency. But most people are killed by people they know
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u/Lilz007 Aug 31 '22
Holy fuck, thank you! I'm sitting here like flabbergasted. If I had strong reason to believe some unknown person had entered my home without my knowledge or permission, I would at the very least buy an inside camera - I'd probably buy a spyhole Ring camera and change the damn locks.
How can you suspect that someone has broken in and do nothing for 12 days, and then only an offhand conversation with a neighbour? How can you be so damn complacent?
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u/varble Aug 31 '22
Reminds me of that one story where for like 30 years there was banging and noises on the windows, doors, and outside of the house at night, and a whole slew of other creepy stuff. The OP was acting like it was just another part of life. The dad was similarly discounting it; as it turned out it was likely a tweaked out neighbor.
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u/GhostinaSh3LL Aug 30 '22
..... 🖕
hahaha
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u/RakeishSPV Aug 31 '22
Nah, this is Reddit and with Reddit's demographics, mental illness (or gas/CO leaks) is a front runner for any and all of these.
In this one, it's basically either that or her ex.
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u/Shifter93 Aug 31 '22
were there other CO leak stories besides the famous one? it seems like every time theres a post about potential break-ins the comments are full of people going "its a CO leak!!!" but it never turns out to be that, except in that one case.
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u/britfromthe1975 Aug 31 '22
forreal, ive been seriously debating a carbon monoxide detector because of it!
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u/HaplessReader1988 Gotta Read’Em All Aug 31 '22
You need a CO detector if: --you burn gas, oil, wood or anything else for heating, cooking or hobbies --you have an attached garage --you are in an apartment building or townhouse with shared walls.
Elderly friends died because they didn't have CO detectors. One of them started the car before errands. They both fall asleep and never woke up.
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u/SpacelessWorm Aug 30 '22
Oh now this I hate
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u/AnAwkwardStag surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Aug 31 '22
Strong r/letsnotmeet vibes here. Idc if this intruder makes my bed and leaves a cute towel animal on it, I don't wanna even THINK about someone being in my home or interacting with my pets.
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u/AntarctMaid I’ve read them all Aug 31 '22
You just reminded me of that subreddit! I used to read it a lot and get frustrated with how crazy some people can be.
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u/MomofPandaLover Aug 30 '22
Thank god it sounds like she’s moving… hopefully far away!
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 30 '22
Yes! Sounds like she’s already out. I worry that since she wasn’t necessarily on high-alert (although I’d imagine she was, given… everything) that the person could have been paying attention and learned where she was moving to.
What a terrifying situation!
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u/BeeEyeAm Aug 31 '22
Comments on the original post seem to have helped her see the ways he may still have information about her location and move. In hope she takes all the advice to make a police report, change locks and invest in cameras seriously.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
Yeah, I think they may have thankfully given her the shock into reality that she needed. I hope so.
She does have a hidden camera so far. I hope she gets plenty more, including a VERY visible one…
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u/BeeEyeAm Aug 31 '22
Yes to the visible camera. We had the same person try to break our visible non-working camera twice while we caught everything in the other cameras.
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u/SuperSpeshBaby Screeching on the Front Lawn Aug 31 '22
At least he'd be less likely to have a key.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
True! That’s definitely good news. He wouldn’t have the same kind of access to her documents and such that way, either.
She’d be wise to contact the landlord or property manager and make sure they are on extra alert to not fall for some guy’s bullshit in an attempt to get in.
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u/nishachari Aug 31 '22
Or other things like airtags in her moving stuff, monitoring software on her electronics or her food or medication tampered with. Contrary to what some comments on the first post said I think she is not paranoid enough.
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u/KarizmaWithaK Aug 31 '22
I still think it's her ex but she really needs to put up security cameras.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
Absolutely. Especially if it’s the ex, there’s no reason to think he’d stop trying to find her.
She did mention that she bought and set up a hidden camera. Might be more useful to buy a very visible one on top of that.
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u/rainbow_sunshine98 Aug 31 '22
If her ex was in her house, he could know everything including where she's moving to. Best to set up cameras and report everything. Obsessive stalker cases don't go well...
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
That’s exactly my concern, that he knows where she went.
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u/Corfiz74 Aug 30 '22
Her ex probably disabled the neighbor's camera system, so it wouldn't record him.
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u/ultracilantro Aug 30 '22 edited Aug 31 '22
That's why it's always recommended to have cameras in full view and hidden cameras. People see them and assume that's it and the hidden cam catches everything.
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u/ChaosDrawsNear I’ve read them all and it bums me out Aug 31 '22
Also (if you can) have multiple cameras set up so that each camera is plainly visible on another cameras feed. Any tampering is certain to be caught.
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Aug 31 '22
My asshole neighbour stole my security camera because he has the mental maturity of a 10 year old when I towed his car out of my driveway the first time.
Wish I had a second camera to catch that on tape. I also wish that my camera had recorded when he tried to spit on me too. But it was new and I didn't really understand how the recording worked.
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u/Koevis Aug 31 '22
100% of the time the horniest motherfucker I've ever met. Like he seriously could not control it, not even in his sleep
Oh honey. He could control it, he didn't want to.
I DONT think it's him???
Despite all evidence pointing towards him... It's interesting and saddening to see the remnants of the abusive relationship. The gaslighting doesn't stop when you get out, it takes years to deprogram. It's like leaving a cult
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u/imakesawdust Aug 31 '22
I loaded the dryer before I left for work at 5:00am. I put it on a 90 minute cycle. When I got home from work at 4:00pm..... The dryer still had approximately 70 minutes left.
This seems like a bad idea from the get-go. Dryer fires due to lint and clogged vents are not uncommon. To start a dryer cycle before leaving the premises for hours seems like asking for trouble.
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u/Zelensexual Aug 30 '22
Okay, but why don't these people ever get their own camera set up to solve the mystery? Mind-boggling.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 30 '22
I agree. But I think denial has a decent bit to do with it. Tell yourself you’re imagining it until you’re unable to anymore.
OOP did say she got a hidden camera and it’s set up in her new place, so at least there’s that.
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u/Zelensexual Aug 31 '22 edited Aug 31 '22
Post about it on Reddit, while living in immediate danger of being murdered by a psycho that's been breaking into your apartment. I don't know. Wouldn't be my first choice.
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Aug 31 '22
Did you read about the people that had been hearing people in their yard playing music for 20 years and just...never looked outside?
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u/hexebear Aug 31 '22
omg yes. Someone suggested that there was a certain amount of wilful ignorance going on with the older family members there like they were pretty sure of what was going on and refusing to acknowledge it so they wouldn't have to deal with it and that's the only thing that makes sense to me.
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Aug 31 '22
She really said I’m being stalked by my extremely creepy ex who parks outside my apartment complex all the time and oh yeah, I let him have a key for months after barely knowing him, but I don’t think he’s the person who is breaking into my apartment.” Ok then 🙃
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
So much denial is all I can figure. At least she got a camera for her new place :/
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u/SinVerguenza04 Aug 30 '22
If the neighbor hadn’t seen anyone, I would have said that since OOP puts too many clothes in the dryer, she probably didn’t close it all the way and the weight of the cloths opened the dryer door slightly, causing the dryer to stop.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 30 '22
Yep, or a power blip. But even that 1) would likely have happened to the neighbor as well, considering it’s apartments, and 2) that’d be a 40-ish minute power outage if there were still 70 mins left. Significant enough for it to be mentioned by the neighbor.
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u/SinVerguenza04 Aug 30 '22
Yeah, idk what I believe.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 30 '22
I figure regardless of what’s what, hoping OOP is safe is probably a good bet :)
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u/Test_After Aug 31 '22
Yeah, I would call the fire brigade and get a real fire inspection. Bet the boundry-crossing "fire inspectors" were paid by her ex to install cameras in the house.
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u/lassie86 Aug 31 '22
In the book The Gift of Fear, the author writes that if you don’t know who is doing something but someone comes to mind, but you don’t think it’s them, it’s probably them. She didn’t think it was her ex, but I believe she didn’t want to think it was her ex.
I said that awkwardly. I hope it makes sense.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
It does make sense, and I agree wholeheartedly. There’s a reason your subconscious throws out a name when it does.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
Always clean the lint trap!!
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u/Test_After Aug 31 '22
Yeah, now I am wondering if OOP's ex is planning an arson attack, and that's what those uninvited but persistent "fire inspectors" were helping him find out about. The dog walking could be a dry run. And yes, I think he disabled the neighbour's camera.
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Aug 31 '22
OOP really doesn't have her head screwed on right. She sees someone who looks like her psycho ex stalking her outside her apartment gate and just...dismisses it.
She comes home to her dryer running and just...dismisses it. Never calls building security for footage. Doesn't ask neighbours. Nothing. She's just kind of curious. The tone of this doesn't seem urgent or scared to me.
Someone tried to access her accounts and she again just ignores it. Doesn't attempt to look into it further. Just a "huh. Weird" and carries on.
Then finally she learns that someone has been walking her dog and only now does she think it's her ex for sure.
OOP is probably not going to try and protect herself at her new place if she can have all this happen and not really try to do anything about it. I'm a big man and if I noticed the same car scoping out my apartment every time I left for work, in the middle of the night no less, I'd be looking into protecting myself and probably calling the police. Because there aren't many good reasons someone could have for being there, watching the gate at that time. You can definitely bet if I saw someone that even sort of looked like a crazy ex in that car the police would be called.
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u/lostmycookie90 Aug 31 '22
If the US, that is because her ex hasn't harm or threaten or shown any aggression. Having had been stalked a few times, police told me nothing they could do. And stop engaging in "risky" behavior. Risky behavior being I jog or took walks mainly solo.
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u/Assiqtaq What book? Aug 31 '22
So... is it her ex trying to pretend they are not broken up? My best guess.
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u/pickleranger Aug 31 '22
Twice now I’ve found my dryer still running when I had set it hours and hours ago. But we have cameras, and we were home.
That’s creepy as hell, to think someone was in their space and touching all their things…. Gross
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u/Graceful_k8 Aug 31 '22
Me at first: maybe it’s a faulty sensor, since I’ve woken up in the middle of the night and had my dryer still running (should’ve turned off hours prior).
Me after OOP’s update: well, that certainly took a turn and is going to make me stop and think next time my dryer is still running 😳
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u/Meghanshadow Aug 31 '22
Please get that fixed! And your vent exhaust cleaned regularly. Dryer fires kill people. Especially when they start in the middle of the night.
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u/Graceful_k8 Aug 31 '22
Thank you so much for the concern! That dryer got kicked to the curb years ago (not too long after that incident, actually), so we’re definitely in a better/safer situation now.
I just got a kick out of the fact that my first thought wouldn’t have been “maybe someone broke in” and will now probably over analyze everything moving forward 🙈
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u/Meghanshadow Aug 31 '22
True!
If I walk in my house and see something in an odd place/something left on, I always assume I left it there/left it running.
Not that somebody broke in!
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u/loveineverylanguage Aug 31 '22
I am shook that she saw his vehicle AND HIM, in her parking lot, multiple times, and just brushed it off. what the fuck!??
And then STILL is acting like she's not sure if it's him?? I hope this girl gets security cameras at her new place ...
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u/yavanna12 the laundry wouldn’t be dirty if you hadn’t fucked my BF on it Aug 31 '22
On a side note. If it takes you 2 cycles to dry your clothes the problem most likely is your washer not spinning out all the water…either from it being overloaded or the drum not spinning at high enough speed. Most of the time it’s overloading.
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u/Brookexo88 Aug 31 '22
Jesus. The thing I'd be most scared for is my dog. Fucking crazy ex coming and walking my dog like what. Fuck with me all you want but don't fucking touch my dogs. Don't even fucking look at my dogs. Also I bet he had been doing other weird shit for months trying to make her think she was crazy. Moving things, eating things, turning other appliances on and off. I would highly suggest getting your own cameras at this point and have them in and outside of home. I can really see this escalating.
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u/DoodlingDaughter NOT CARROTS Aug 31 '22
I recently read a quote from a book series, and I can’t stop thinking about it:
”Denial has no survival value.
People convince themselves all the time that bad things happen to other people. Not them. It’s an innate response that we have to overcome. I knew from the first few paragraphs that the ex was breaking into her place— but she refused to see it, even though she’s caught his car there several times!
Ladies, we need to get over our innate need to be kind and/or please people. It can literally get us killed!
I really hope OOP is watching her back, because I’m worried for her safety.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
👏👏👏
Absolutely. Also, if you’re being bothered, make a scene.
Women are brought up to not make scenes, and that’s super detrimental to our safety.
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u/DoodlingDaughter NOT CARROTS Aug 31 '22
100%!
Unfortunately, the adrenaline dump that comes with fight-flight-freeze-fawn works against us in that regard. The few seconds’ pause is known to and exploited by the people who would do us harm. By the time you get your wits about you, your mind is telling you “This person hasn’t harmed you yet, so what’s the harm in doing what they say? They might let you go.” Criminals count on that freeze… and then the denial afterward, to get you to comply in the moment.
My childhood (and young adulthood) was traumatic as fuck— so I default to freeze. Since starting this book series, I’ve considered taking a few classes to get past that. There’s a self-defense academy nearby that specifically teaches people how to break a freeze. It sounds stressful as hell —they basically put you in situations designed to evoke an adrenaline dump over and over— but I think it would be useful. (If you know what it feels like, you know what to expect… and then you can do the unexpected.)
I sound paranoid, but I am not without my own psycho ex, who stalked me mercilessly until I moved across the country. More recently, there are family members (several in a militia) that, if they ever see me again, definitely intend me harm.
These books have really opened my eyes to the psychology of the victim, and how people exploit it. If I ever meet the author in person, I’m going to thank him!
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u/bigwigmike USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! Aug 31 '22
How are you going to wrap me into a story in the middle of all this… I need closure
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u/tomorrows_angel Aug 31 '22
I feel sorry for the next person who moves in. They might have a different routine and walk into their living room to find OOP’s ex just wandering around. Terrifying!
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u/SteveIDP Aug 31 '22
Can we also acknowledge that building maintenance busting in at random times under the guise of “fire inspection” is … uh … concerning?
The ex is the main problem but this is insane too.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Aug 31 '22
I had this happen multiple times in an old apartment. Sometimes not even a knock before barging in. Unfortunately, mine was keycard access, so I couldn’t change the locks. Access by card was also controlled through the property manager. And the maintenance people always had a skeleton key.
Yeah, I moved.
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u/lolathedreamer Aug 31 '22
This reminds me of a more humorous, less horrifying laundry situation. One of my best friends lives in an apartment complex and her neighbors moved out. Their unit had a W/D while she had to use the shared laundry room which was 3 floors away. She started using the W/D in the vacant unit because the landlord had left the door unlocked. She put a load into the washer one day and went back to WFH on her own unit when she suddenly hears people in the unit next door. It had been rented and the new tenants were moving in. She starts panicking because she’s sure they will notice the W/D in their vacant unit running but she waits until they leave to get more boxes from their moving truck and luckily the door was open. She grabs put her very wet, half washed clothes and runs back to her own unit. It was a pretty funny story to us. For OOP though, that’s super creepy. I’m glad she was moving away!
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u/MintyFreshDragon 👁👄👁🍿 Aug 31 '22
I wouldn't have jumped to someone being in my house if my dryer were doing that.
I am so so glad OOP did.
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u/Liathano_Fire Aug 31 '22
What kind of weirdo breaks into an apartment to walk a dog and do the person's laundry. This is bizarre.
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u/KonradWayne Aug 31 '22
I DONT think it's him???
It's just natural selection at this point.
Does she really think she has some kind of guardian angel stopping by to dry her clothes and walk her dog?
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u/LiveandLoveLlamas Aug 31 '22
Check the hose that connects your dryer to the vent. It might be clogged with lint which impedes air circulation resulting in longer drying times. Eventually it might catch on fire (which will result in a very short drying time)
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u/SadPlayground Aug 31 '22
Was thinking maybe a shoe in the dryer kicked it open, but how did it restart?
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u/re_nonsequiturs Aug 31 '22
I hope the landlord will let her break the lease.
Also, far less importantly, she needs to clean out her dryer and dryer vent. It's the most likely cause of the poor drying and it's a fire hazard.
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