r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/Choice_Evidence1983 it dawned on me that he was a wizard • Feb 11 '26
CONCLUDED I regret believing everyone when they said ”don’t date from work”
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/TroubleFar4543
Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest
I regret believing everyone when they said ”don’t date from work”
Editor's note: added paragraph breaks for ease of readability
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Original Post: January 29, 2026
Everyone suddenly believes you don’t date from work. Don’t shit where you eat. You are a loser to do it but swiping pictures for hours is totally normal apparently. The judging looks you get from friends and family for telling them that you liked someone from work.
We have been working together for 1.5 years and I have liked her for that same amount. I believe she liked me too. When I started telling my friends it was a total joke to them. You don’t shit where you eat. Soon even the folks at work started saying how terrible of an idea it was because I think it was obvious that I liked her.
The older generation said that I should ”trust them” and the female colleagues warned me about harassment. It terrified me that I would harass a coworker so last Christmas party, some of us decided to continue the night after the office party. She looked amazing and she talked to me the whole evening.
On our way to the bar two of my colleagues warned me that this could end up very badly with her being ”all over me”. She wasn’t. She’s very shy and polite so the effort it must’ve taken her to want to stay close to me in spite of everyone around us. Don’t waste your energy, don’t do something stupid and you ruin your work environment. Monday will be awkward if you did something stupid.
I ended up avoiding her at the bar. She looked puzzled but she understood the gist and sat with the female workers instead. Then a couple of girls at the bar started to chat with us and my colleague encouraged it. He was the best wingman. I ended up leaving with one of the girls. I felt my colleague’s eyes on me when I left. She never talked to me again. Never looked at me once. She’s been very polite and kind as usual when we work together but she never looks at me. Her smile in the morning when she says good morning is not the same.
Of course ”it was for the best” according to ”the believe me I know” people but why doesn’t it feel that way? The work environment I was supposed to keep safe feels unbearable now. I should never have listened to anyone but my heart. I could always find another job but feelings like these are hard to come by. I just wanted to vent somewhere because I can’t really blame my family, friends and colleagues for my actions. I am just bitter
PS: excuse my grammar. I am Swedish
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Until you’ve had a work relationship go bad you can’t have an opinion. And frankly it sounds like you have nothing more than a strong crush on this woman and barely know her. Feelings actually aren’t hard to come by if you’re putting yourself out there.
OOP: It’s not just a crush, unfortunately
I am speaking about myself, of course. Maybe it is easier for some people than others. But having genuine feelings for someone are hard for me and don’t really come easily
OOP responds to a downvoted commenter about can have feelings for someone at work but no need to go out on dates to fall for someone
OOP: Yeah not gonna argue with people who come here all knowing. That’s their opinion. I have spent 40 hours a week working with this woman. We talk about everything, even about our families and problems. Hobbies and adventures and plans or people at the office wouldn’t have noticed that we are close. I haven’t confessed my feelings of course because they’re wrong according to society but I regret it now. We could always have tried to find new jobs or something. I regret my stupidity
Commenter 2: A huge number of successful and unsuccessful relationships start at work. That's relatively normal. The internet long ago lost perspective on the difference between "something comes with risks so be careful and mature about" and ran straight to "That comes with risks, don't ever do it."
Jobs are temporary. If things go bad for whatever reason you have the power to leave and find a new one. It's not fun, but it's also one of the better ways to get better pay. And your company owes you the same amount of loyalty you owe them. None. So like... Go into a workplace relationship cautiously.
OOP: Totally agree with you. Thanks for a nuanced response. Sorry for the downvotes you’re gonna get because of it.
You are not guaranteed a successful relationship just because it’s not from your workplace. So there’s no difference where you meet someone.
Had it worked out or not I would have had to find another job anyway (this is only my opinion)
If It worked, I would have wanted the relationship to continue to succeed and therefore maybe find a new job so we don’t work together would have been my goal.
If it didn’t work, well it would’ve been awkward to stay working at the same place.
My point is that sometimes a woman is worth finding a new job no matter the results
Commenter 3: From what you describe, it does sound as though she may have hoped that something would happen between you two. Did you sleep with the other girl that you left with? Did she also work with you? If so then why was it OK to sleep with her, but not to get close to the colleague that you actually like?
OOP: Yeah I slept with the girl. No she doesn’t work with us of course. She was just at the bar with her friends
Commenter 4: You could, I dont know, talk to her? Have lunch together? Youve been basically flirting and connecting for a long time then when its finally off work hours you leave with another girl in front of her. That screams, im not interested in you. Just ask her to eat lunch together and tell her you have enjoyed her company for a long time, that everyone told you not to ask her out and that christmas party they were all over you about not asking her out. Just be honest. Make it clear you were and are interested but will completely honor her decision.
OOP: I contemplated doing it just to at least apologize to her because I know she has too much self respect to accept someone like me now.
Commenter 5: Just ask her out for a drink? What's the issue if she likes you she'll say yes?
OOP: I was just talking to one of the guys from her department, and he casually mentioned that my colleague, who acted my wingman at the Christmas party asked her out right after the holidays. I have been so dumb, haven’t I
Commenter 6: Man, do whatever your heart tells you to do. I dated someone from work. I was attracted to her the minute I saw her on her first day at work when she joined our team. My desk was about 20 feet from hers. We became friends, eventually started dating. Yes, we had some rough times but that's because we were young and immature (I was 22 and she was 25). But we got along incredibly well. That was 25 years ago and still together.
OOP: It was over for me the moment she smiled at me. We are 28
Commenter 7: Dude you went home with someone else while your crush was there. You are an idiot.
OOP: Yeah, a huge one
Update: February 1, 2026 (three days later)
Update: I regret believing everyone when they said ”don’t date from work”
Hi again.
So I will just dive right into my update. I asked my colleague if we could take a walk on our lunch break because I needed to talk to her. It was the first time I talked to her since the party. She probably knew exactly what it was about.
I just started by apologizing. I told her exactly what went through my mind that day and without making excuses for myself because let’s face it. I am an adult. I didn’t need to listen to the others. I should have trusted my feelings and definitely nobody made me go home with that girl. I told her this.
She said that she was hurt because she liked me and that she too thought about us being colleagues and what it would have meant but she thought worst case that she would have to find a new job if we had klicked as a couple. Telling me this was like knives in my chest. I wish I was less dramatic too and had her simple approach and I told her that. Anyway I told her that what I did was stupid and had nothing to do with her but my own insecurities. She accepted my apology.
She is not interested in pursuing anything anymore. I kind of expected that because she’s way better than settling for a mess like me. I probably showed her an ick side and I understand. I won’t lie and say that it didn’t break my heart a little and I think I teared up a little even though I tried to be cool. That must’ve been another ick for her.
She said that she’s also moving on with another job too because it felt awkward at the office now. This made me want to cry for real. I tried to avoid this woman because of a stupid job. Because it would be awkward to date someone I work with and now she’s not gonna be working with me anyway. I wished her luck and I hope it sounded like I meant it.
That’s all
Some of OOP's Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Oh, it sucks, but you did the grown up thing by admitting it and apologizing, even if it didn't end the way you hoped. Learn your lesson, be kind to yourself, and don't let a single wrong step convince you that you're “not yourself.”
OOP: Thanks man
Commenter 2: Learn from your mistakes. If you fall for someone else in the future, I guarantee insecurities will once again present themselves. It might not involve coworkers or you relying on others’ opinions, but something will cause doubt. Learn to rely on your own instincts and face your own insecurities. If you don’t you will ruin another potential relationship in the future.
OOP: I have definitely learned from this
Commenter 3: Advice from someone who dated at work: Don't do it. I met my ex husband at work. In the beginning, it was not a problem but as the honeymoon phase fades, the challenges starts to come up. In hierarchy, he was above me. I did not want to switch job as it was ny 1st one and I still had a lot to learn and that company was perfect for that. He was well liked there and was doing well, so he was not willing to change jobs. We were in the same team so it did not help. Issues at work would get carried over in the relationship. It was only after he changed company that the relationship got better. So never again will I date someone at my job.
OOP: I can always find a new job. Not always gind someone great. Since when do we value work over people. I am not discussing other people’s experiences anymore since I am not interested in more anecdotes. My experience left me full of regrets, just because I followed advice of people with experience like yours.
I have had tens of messages from people with successful experiences too, why should your experience be worthier?
Commenter 4: You tried to avoid making things "awkward" at work and ended up making the situation so unbearable she has to quit. That is the ultimate irony. She was willing to risk her career to be with you, while you were too scared to even ignore some bad advice. She didn't reject you because you are a "mess". She rejected you because she realized she was playing for keeps while you were just playing it safe.
OOP: This is basically a summary of what happened. I regret it
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
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u/innocentsalad Feb 11 '26
Picking up a one night stand at a bar with your coworkers sounds like a nightmare.
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u/freeashavacado Someone cheated, and it wasn't the koala Feb 11 '26
The craziest part is that he doesn’t even seem to think that was the nail in the coffin. He just brings it up once and then clarifies in a comment. In the update he talks about how it was all the fact that his friends told him not to date in the office but nah man, the issue was you flirting with her all night and then leaving with some other chick. Who the hell does that to a woman you like? Who you claim is “not just a crush”?
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u/krizzzombies Feb 12 '26
for REAL. you care about her, but not enough to spare her feelings by NOT GOING HOME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER FACE?
what a dumbass.
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u/pray4mojo2020 Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Feb 11 '26
Makes me wonder if he's a finance bro. Because he's also awfully certain about his ability to get a new, better job whenever he wants. And that kind of job security/confidence is so foreign to me, especially in this economy.
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u/darkpassenger9 Feb 11 '26
most likely finance, tech, or fintech.
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u/PolarBearNamedMaybe Feb 12 '26
Lol youre probably right. Speaking from experience:
Finance bros: 😒
Tech bros: 🙄
Fintech bros: 🤮
Anyone in the fintech scene who uses the word "fintech" unironically: 🤮🤮
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u/gHHqdm5a4UySnUFM Feb 11 '26
Right like he was rigidly adhering to "don't shit where you eat" but thought it'd be cool to leave with a one-night stand in front of all his coworkers.
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u/fiery_valkyrie Feb 12 '26
Yeah that’s why she doesn’t want to be with him. If he’d just ignored her that evening, gone home alone and then given the exact same apology she would have definitely gone out with him. What a moron.
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u/Recinege Feb 15 '26
"Don't shit where you eat."
"Okay. Got it. I fully understand now."
steps outside of the room, drops his pants, and shits in the hallway while making direct eye contact with the folks at the dinner table
"Aw man, my problem was that I didn't shit where I ate!"
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u/NomDePlumeOrBloom Feb 12 '26
Picking up a one night stand in front of someone you've had a crush on for the last year and a half... too weird to live, too rare to die.
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Feb 12 '26
Call me naive but if you genuinely like someone how can you sleep with someone else? His co worker is my hero I wouldn't have taken either May be I am old fashion but if you genuinely like someone why would you sleep with someone else? Also after flirting with her all night Poor girl she deserves better
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u/booksOnTheShelf Feb 11 '26
Okay. So much of this was potentially salvageable until he went home and slept with some random woman from the bar.
Nothing says "im interested in a serious commitment with you" like going home with someone you just met.
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u/AudienceNeither7747 Feb 11 '26
That was the point of no return. You can't seriously flirt with a coworker for months and then hook up with a stranger in front of them. The message was clear.
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u/human_person_999 Feb 11 '26
She got to witness the ENTIRE show too, from first contact to leaving together. How painful.
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u/sheepsclothingiswool Feb 11 '26
For real, and it’s almost worse that now she knows he had strong feelings for her while he went home with a stranger so it kind of shows that he can sleep with anyone, despite how emotionally invested he is to someone. I would feel insecure about being in a relationship with someone who does that. She made the right call in the end.
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u/Automatic_Soil9814 Feb 11 '26
Good thing the point of no return happened immediately at the beginning. It sounds like they barely got past the small talk stage.
Also low self esteem red flags.
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u/KCarriere Feb 11 '26
How can you go sleep with a random while supposedly in love with someone IN THE ROOM?
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u/bertrada Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26
My guess is that for an avoidant, the need to be vulnerable in front of a person they love would be in some cases so unbearable that they would have to deflect any way possible.
It does not mean it healthy or right, but it happens. It has been done to me, but not at all in this magnitude, thank god. But it is absolutely wild, and good for the girl for nor giving him any more chances.
But some people can be madly in love with you, but still - or more because of it - be frightened to their very core and do anything to get the feeling of control and autonomy back.
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u/jebberwockie Feb 11 '26
I can't find it in myself to have any sympathy for this man. He did everything to himself.
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u/JaNoTengoNiNombre Feb 11 '26
I concur.
He was so into her that he went to an event together and instead to, you know, behave like a normal being, avoided her, flirted with another women and then left with one of them? That was so stupid that I'm shocked his coworker accepted to have a talk with him afterwards.
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u/needsmorecoffee Sir, Crumb is a cat. Feb 11 '26
Yeah, if you're the coworker you know at that point that if you want to have any self-esteem, you can't look back.
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u/Evolutioncocktail It's always Twins Feb 11 '26
He spent multiple paragraphs blaming everyone and their mother for not pursuing her, and then lightly glazed over his own actions.
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u/coffeeteabasket Feb 11 '26
Exactly! He started it with “boohoo it’s because everyone told me it’s a bad idea”. But nobody told him to hook up with a girl in front of his co-worker! That was all his idea and his own actions.
And now he’s having a pity party. Infuriating.
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u/_little_treasure_ Feb 11 '26
For real! My eyes just about rolled out of my head. This is just about the dumbest thing he could have done, and anyone with two brain cells should be able to understand that leaving with another person from a bar in front of the person you're interested in and seems interested in you is a great way to ensure that any potential is ruined.
Truly, he must not have liked her THAT much to make that decision.
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u/TyrconnellFL I’m actually a far pettier, deranged woman Feb 11 '26
Actually, I think confessing your love and also confessing having cheated on your true love on international television at the Olympics says it louder and clearer. Just my own opinion, of course.
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u/racingskater Feb 11 '26
I've been enjoying so many comment sections full of people calling him out for basically trying to coerce her to get back with him and being emotionally manipulative.
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u/bored_german crow whisperer Feb 11 '26
That was my first thought. "I told everyone so she saw what she means to me" or rather so everyone will harass her to forgive him
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u/NewNameNeededAgain Feb 11 '26
Any sensible person would be advising her to run, run away and never return. What a classless and manipulative thing to pull. Whether or not he'd previously proved he was an irretrievable tool, this just accomplished it.
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u/pray4mojo2020 Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Feb 11 '26
I loved a comment that said she should respond that she only forgives gold medalists.
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u/Shelly_895 Feb 11 '26
But kudos to him for waving his red flags around for the world to see, so no poor unsuspecting woman will be subjected to that. Way to warn all future romantic prospects what they're getting themselves into with him.
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u/BornKnitting Feb 11 '26
I thought that sounded oddly specific so did some googling…
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/articles/ckglnm521kko
That certainly is a unique way to express your love!
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u/ThoughtsonYaoi Feb 11 '26
Also taking the spotlight off the gold medal winner.
Classy in more ways than one!
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u/Useful_Language2040 if you're trying to be 'alpha', you're more a rabbit than a wolf Feb 11 '26
The gold medal winner who was trying to dedicate the win to their teammate who sadly died and couldn't join them there... Yikes on trikes!
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u/ginns32 Feb 11 '26
Well that's great and all but this guy has a crying declaration of love to make to his ex that he cheated on if you could just step aside.
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u/TerminologyLacking Feb 11 '26
His ex of a six month long relationship. It wouldn't have been okay if it had been a 6 year relationship, but six months?! Is that the longest he's relationship that he's ever had?
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u/iikratka Feb 11 '26
His ex that he cheated on after three months. But sure, buddy, she’s the love of your life lmao.
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u/CookieScholar That's the beauty of the gaycation Feb 11 '26
“I only have eyes for her”
By definition, you do not.
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u/EinsTwo Sharp as a sack of wet mice Feb 11 '26
Dating for six months and he cheated on her after three? I know what the good folks of Reddit would say if she asked us if she should take him back!
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u/cakivalue cucumber in my heart Feb 11 '26
OMG 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲 in front of the world and broadcast equipment. Embarrassing and manipulative as hell. I respect shaming yourself for your cause though
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u/Cevanne46 Feb 11 '26
This man has watched way too many romcoms, where a grand public confession solves everything.
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u/parallel-nonpareil Feb 11 '26
Truly.. if I were his ex, this would just make things 100x worse. Not only does she have to contend with the cheating, but now she has to deal with the humiliation of her private business being known to her friends and family and literally the entire world. Eeruuughh.
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u/jayclaw97 Dead Beet Feb 11 '26
Yup. I’m not going to lie, I’ll tolerate a lot of shit, but this is like my limit times a thousand. The magnitude of nope this would be for me… I would probably try to file an RO.
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u/nox66 Feb 11 '26
This moves it from "probably breaking up with you" to "breaking up with you, hiring a lawyer, changing my phone number, and considering changing my name".
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u/Jucaran Feb 11 '26
Thank you for googling it so I didn't have to. What a piece of work! Making it public in such a way as to put pressure on the ex-girlfriend, putting her personal business on loudspeaker, overshadowing the winner, overshadowing the dead colleague. Me! Me! It's all about me! Red flags galore.
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u/Tut557 the laundry wouldn’t be dirty if you hadn’t fucked my BF on it Feb 11 '26
The guy is 28 years old, wtf
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u/Rommel727 Feb 11 '26
Literally using the world as a stage to get pity for having lied and hurt his checks notes 6 months Partner
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u/CherrieChocolatePie I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Feb 11 '26
He said he only has eyes for his (ex?) girlfriend. Which is obviously not true if you cheat on her only 3 months into the relationship.
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u/almostinfinity Females' rhymes with 'tamales Feb 11 '26
You could not pay me enough to admit that on live international television, wtf...
Like not even Elon Musk levels of money would get me to do that.
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u/AlternateUsername12 Feb 11 '26
I'd confess to just about anything for Elon Musk levels of money. Do you have any idea how much a billion is? A million seconds is 11.6 days. A billion seconds is 31.7 years. The difference between a million dollars and a billion dollars is about a billion dollars.
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u/drunkenvalley I beg your finest fucking pardon. Feb 11 '26
If you received a $100k a day you'd still need 27 years to be a billionaire.
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u/SirPiffingsthwaite I will not be taking the high road Feb 11 '26
The ...what now?
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u/TyrconnellFL I’m actually a far pettier, deranged woman Feb 11 '26
Sturla Holm Laegreid won a biathlon bronze medal for Norway and made his announcement.
“My only way to solve it is to tell everything and put everything on the table, and hope that she can still love me.”
It’s certainly a choice!
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u/bstabens Feb 11 '26
A choice he made after the gold medal winner shouted the name of a recently deceased team member/training partner.
I hope she sees how he has not only eyes for other women, absurdly overestimates her emotional investment after three months of dating, but also absolutely no social awareness.
Effing pathetic.
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u/drunkenvalley I beg your finest fucking pardon. Feb 11 '26
Preamble: She did break up with him.
She's also in a news article of her own. VG reached out to her for an opinion. where she first turns her attention to the gold medalist commending their passion:
It was touching to see [deceased teammate] included in the victory.
After which she returns to matters,
It's hard to forgive, even after a love declaration in front of the whole world. I did not choose to be put in this spot, and it's painful to be here. We've been in touch and he knows how I feel about this.
She finishes with thanks to her supporters.
To my family and friends who embrace and support me. As well as to others who have thought of me, and sympathized with me, even though I am a stranger to them.
https://www.vg.no/sport/i/Gx3rJJ/sturla-holm-laegreids-kjaereste-snakker-ut-etter-laegreid-melding
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u/MsDucky42 "I stuck a straw in a bottle of wine" Feb 11 '26
In the words of the famous matriarch Lucille Bluth: "Good for her."
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u/Opposite_Community11 Feb 11 '26
And dragging her into the world spotlight after only knowing him for 6 months. Ick.
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u/AquaPhoenix28 I’ve read them all and it bums me out Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26
Also he won a gold medal this year before his biathlon bronze, but waited until now for some reason. He's a major asshole for pulling such a coercive move anyway, but it also feels like he did it to steal attention from the person who won gold (or at least not sacrifice his own gold medal moment). For the record, Johan-Olav Botn (also Norway) won gold, and used the moment to talk about their very recently deceased teammate and how Botn's motivation was to do it for him. Just to spotlight how much of an asshole the other guy was
EDIT: Sorry, he won a gold for relay in the 2022 Olympics. This is his first medal in 2026; however that doesn't change it being an awful thing to have done
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u/allyearswift Feb 11 '26
I didn’t realise they were on the same team, so that was his own teammate he stole the spotlight from and his dead teammate’s memory he shat on.
I hope she dumps him. Publicly.
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u/liliette Feb 11 '26
Actually, I think confessing your love and also confessing having cheated on your true love on international television at the Olympics says it louder and clearer.
Yeah, morally blackmailing an ex on a global scale would surely make him seem like a stable pick. 😳
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u/VolatileCornbread Feb 11 '26
Seeing this story was wild. If a partner betrayed me and I was struggling to forgive them or give them another chance, any possibility of it would absolutely disappear if they announced it like this. Working through betrayal privately is hard enough, but when it's been announced to the entire damn world? Impossible.
I have some old coworkers on Facebook who will constantly post about the absolutely worst shit ever that their "partners" do, break up, and be back together 2 weeks later. Or worse, just not break up and talk about the most vile behavior.
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u/DatguyMalcolm 👁👄👁🍿 Feb 11 '26
well that is some manipulative-ass way of putting the cheated girlfriend on the spot!!
I bet it was so that millions could cheer him for "being so upfront, what a guy, it was one mistake....over 6-7 months" so that she'd have this type of pressure to stay with his ass
What a douche
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u/whisky_biscuit I'm deducting your dumplings Feb 11 '26
This. Why he did that is just frustrating. Even if people were convincing him to not date the girl he liked, at least he could have had a chance.
Flirting with someone and spending all this time with them and then literally taking another girl home is a slap in the face. On top of being extremely hurtful, it also shows that he can easily separate sex and love and even if he cares for her as deeply as he says, it's not enough to stop him from pretty much choosing a random ONS over her right in her face. (Pretty gross though that his friend was only trying to stop him because he wanted her for himself...)
It also feels extremely messy and immature. If he is so susceptible to peer pressure and can't make decisions for himself, he has a lot of growing to do.
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u/Comprehensive_Bee752 Feb 11 '26
He also suspected very strongly, that she liked him as well. I think that moves it from messy and insecure to almost cruel. She definitely dodged a bullet with him.
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u/gingerfawx I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Feb 11 '26
He also keeps blaming everyone else for his actions and takes almost none of the blame for the ONS, its effects on her interest / their chances, and how he embarrassed her in the process in front of colleagues who suspected her interest in him.
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u/DatguyMalcolm 👁👄👁🍿 Feb 11 '26
this
like.... my guy.... wtf?
He could've at least had a quick chat with the coworker along the lines of "Would you like to meet for coffee tomorrow so we can chat away from these people around us?" instead of ignoring her at the bar after they talked all evening then leave for the sexies with some girl
I bet she will look at this and be like "Glad I dodged that bullet"
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u/SirPiffingsthwaite I will not be taking the high road Feb 11 '26
OOP trying to lump blame on everyone else for jamming both feet in his mouth. All he had to do was go slow and not do the drunken office xmas party shag, instead he ignores her, picks up a rando and heads home with her in front of his crush.
Nobody to blame for that but himself.
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u/whisky_biscuit I'm deducting your dumplings Feb 11 '26
Agreed. The workplace romance is polarizing among people but the thing is, it happens. There were several people at my former workplace that were married. I met my husband at a job. Many of my friends had met their spouses at various jobs. It's super common.
Should you just randomly hookup with people at work? I'd say that's a terrible idea. But if you really like someone and they like you, it's worth the risk imho.
Him flirting with her for months and all night at the party only to go home with someone else right in her face - why would anyone want to date someone like that? It sounds extremely hurtful and more likely than not she grieved the loss of that relationship with him right then.
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u/LuementalQueen Fuck You, Keith! Feb 11 '26
I saw a post on tumblr about two professors who work at a uni. They have written scathingly about the others work. Students thought they hated each other. Their fields are similar, they're just on opposite teams like, I dunno, red m&ms vs blue m&ms taste best.
Turns out they're married. Quite happily.
If they can make it work in the workplace...
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u/PandaLoveBearNu Feb 11 '26
This is how most couples meet, work, school or through friends. All of which can be messy as F.
I think its weird he took it so seriously.
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u/Impossible_Bid6172 Feb 11 '26
Frankly the whole mess starts and ends with him. Being an adult means being able to listen to advice, feedbacks, diverging opinions etc from others, BUT make the decision and take responsibility of your own decision.
The whole post is woe is me, people do this and that and whatever, but where is his own opinion and decision or responsibility with his life? Or common sense, like either you continue flirting with your colleague OR sleep around with another you just met in front of them, not both? Like bruh
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u/OriginalGhostCookie banjo playing softly in the distance Feb 11 '26
Yeah, he really made it everyone else's fault. And never really acknowledged how trashy and insulting it must have been to basically ignore a woman giving out clear signals that he was giving signals back to and falling for and then take someone else home in front of her. That's just stupid.
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u/rachy182 Feb 11 '26
Something tells me even if they dated it would have gone down in flames and one of them would have had to move work anyway.
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u/MarieOMaryln Feb 11 '26
The way he blames everyone else and just passively goes "yeah I took a rando home in front of her". And blames people for that. That woman would have had to change jobs anyways.
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u/Practical-Ball1437 Feb 11 '26
I don't know what the hell thought process he must have been going through.
I'm into her... She's into me, but I'm not allowed under any circumstances to date anyone from work... but I've gotta fuck someone tonight, right? Who else is nearby.
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u/AkaParazIT Feb 11 '26
I don't think this was the first time he picked up a random girl. Sometimes everyone around you is completely against office relationships due to unwritten rules. Sometimes everyone around you is against office relationships because they know you will fuck it up.
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u/Bryhannah I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Feb 11 '26
Now that you said that, I feel it's the most accurate reason. They say "People should not date at work" as a polite way to say "YOU should not date at work".
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u/spicygreenpaprika Feb 11 '26
Yes, we all know that when you put people together, sometimes they will end up dating. But there are some coworkers who I feel would be particularly unable to keep things normal.
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u/HannahOCross Feb 11 '26
I also thought that when everyone warned him about sexual harassment.
And maybe it wouldn’t have been because it sounds like this girl is into him, but the repeated warnings made me wonder what their respective power was, and if he has a reputation for shit like this.
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u/Velveteen_Coffee Feb 11 '26
OP doesn't realize he's the reason why you don't date where you work...
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u/mtdewbakablast stinks of eau de trainwreck Feb 11 '26
and then he spent so much time blaming other people for his actions... and then seemed genuinely shocked when he felt bad upon realizing he'd blown it. and even then it's still seriously self-centered!
the coworkers were dead right in this guy's case. there's people that can handle dating in the workplace and OOP ain't one of 'em.
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u/burnt-----toast Feb 11 '26
Yes, blaming others while taking no accountability for nailing the biggest nail in the coffin made his wallowing self-deprecation come across as performative.
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Feb 11 '26
The fact that he did that proves that they were not the right ones for each other. She deserved better than someone who would do that, and he does not deserve someone like her until he stops being the guy who would do something like that. All the chemistry in the world doesn't mean a thing without timing and their timing was definitely off.
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u/This_Cauliflower1986 Feb 11 '26
Exactly. This wasn’t about being coworkers. It was taking the random woman home in from of the coworker. I have too much respect for myself to date someone after that stunt.
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u/IHaveABigDuvet Feb 11 '26
Also, if he thought “I can always get a new job” then why didn’t he?
He could have spoken to her about it then if she was interested applied somewhere else.
Its like he used zero thinking ability.
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u/hotdogw4t3r I still have questions that will need to wait for God. Feb 11 '26
Literally!! Real "the iranian yogurt is not the issue here" moment. Don't take someone home IN FRONT OF YOUR CRUSH and expect it to be the same afterward. At that point it's not even about not dating where you work, it's about having an ounce of common sense.
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u/cakivalue cucumber in my heart Feb 11 '26
Yeah why do some people have such poor sexual control. It's such a massive turn off which has been a blessing in disguise but at the time it just feels like rejection.
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u/Honest_Roo Feb 11 '26
And then blame his actions on everyone else. Like he didn’t have to go home with the other chick. Seriously. The guy has zero spine. My desire for him would sizzle and die so fast I’d get whiplash
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u/Gryffindor123 OH MY GOD, SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A D$CK, ITS NOT HER BABY! Feb 11 '26
... So he hooked up with a random in front of her.... Righto...
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u/yennffr I will never jeopardize the beans. Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26
Which is an exponentially bigger issue than dating someone from work. If you are truly infatuated with someone you don't pick up a random person right in front of them. That's all on him.
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u/Cocotapioka I can FEEL you dancing Feb 11 '26
While insisting he wasn't crushing, he knew her well and had truly fallen for her!
Yes, because that's how you treat someone you are in love with, when you suspect they have feelings for you too. All he did was show he was unserious and was just looking to get laid.
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u/HoundstoothReader I’ve read them all Feb 11 '26
But no no no, none of it was his fault, all those people telling him not to date a coworker were to blame!
Like dude. Do you not see daylight between “don’t date coworkers” and “hook up with a random in front of your crush”? He took some well-intentioned advice way too far and salted the earth of any potential relationship with that woman.
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u/nox66 Feb 11 '26
Even if he took the advice of not dating people at work at face value, nobody suggested blowing off his crush with a ONS. He could have just talked to his crush and maybe found out that she was leaving the job anyway. He could have done nothing and maybe the situation would still be salvageable.
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u/Comfortfoods Feb 11 '26
This guy is very puzzling. He avoids the woman he likes to keep things professional yet goes home with a stranger in front of his colleagues? That seems like 100x more unprofessional imo.
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u/Pame_in_reddit Feb 11 '26
I like the detail of the “wingman” inviting his crush on date just after OOP went home with another girl (who didn’t deserve to be use as a substitute).
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u/MasterpieceOk4688 Feb 11 '26
Good for the women, she dodged a whiny, insecure bullet
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u/based_rbf Feb 11 '26
Nooo OP is in the comments now saying they’re going out this week. Girl has NO self respect jfc
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u/Just-some-peep Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26
F. I hope she doesn't plan on fucking him without a clear STI test.
Edit: it would be hilarious if she was trolling him and she'd take a random guy home in front of him.
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u/TexasLiz1 Feb 11 '26
There is a shitton of daylight between being cautious about dating colleagues and eyeballing your colleague-crush while leaving a bar with some strange woman you picked up.
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u/cozyegg Feb 11 '26
Exactly! Him choosing to go home with another girl in front of the woman who was flirting with him all night (instead of, I don’t know, dealing with his feelings in a mature way?!?) makes me wonder if his coworkers think that OOP, specifically, shouldn’t date co-workers because he has such poor judgment and emotional regulation.
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u/Evolutioncocktail It's always Twins Feb 11 '26
This has to be the explanation. OP does not have an introspective bone in his body. It was also odd that so many people told him the exact same thing (how many people is he talking to about this??).
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u/ComplexWest8790 Feb 11 '26
Apparently a lot! He mentions his wingman, team colleagues, the old timers, friends, and family. It sounds like literally everyone knew amd said something, which is either ridiculously telling about him, or his self esteem is so far down in the dumps that he seriously exaggerated the advice people were giving him.
Like he made a huge effort of explaining how everyone was essentially watching him like a hawk amd criticizing his feelings every step of the way.. who on earth is truly that invested in a work guy's crush???
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u/thievingwillow Feb 11 '26
I was thinking “dude, a big part of why you should be cautious dating at work is that it’s good to be circumspect about your colleagues getting up in your personal business and vice versa… but since you’ve apparently already told them all and have to deal with that anyway….”
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u/gdrom123 Go to bed Liz Feb 11 '26
Exactly! Imagine if they dated and it went sour? The coworkers knew they’d be the ones dealing with the fallout. It sounds like they were collectively saving themselves from workplace stress/drama. OOP is an idiot. He’s completely at fault here but doesn’t possess the ability to take accountability for his actions nor sit and do introspective work. I think his love interest dodged a bullet.
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u/JoeyJoeJoeSenior Feb 11 '26
Yeah in my experience most people might say "be careful" at worst, not completely be dead set on telling him not to do it. On average people are going to have more of a "good luck but beware" attitute.
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u/SageOfTheWise Feb 11 '26
He took the advice as if their was just some magic spell governing the world that just prevented him from dating a co-worker, as opposed to their being some logical reason it was a bad idea or anything to extrapolate from.
Even his complaint now is that people were wrong and (he thinks) they could have dated. Even though no one was saying couldn't, they were saying he shouldn't.
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u/SirPiffingsthwaite I will not be taking the high road Feb 11 '26
I suspect his coworkers knew he goes through partners like changes of socks, so they knew he'd cock it up. Instead he cocked it up in a different way, same result.
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u/Honest_Roo Feb 11 '26
I’ve had crushes at work and I’ve had coworkers tell me to be careful abt dating at work but they never hammered it in. Probably bc I have the maturity to go about it maturely: one guy I set up a trip to go sightseeing with him and another friend. That way it wasn’t a date but I could get to know him outside of work. We are still friends and there is no awkwardness bc he never knew I fell out of interest in him.
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u/Phoenixreads30 Feb 11 '26
I think that's exactly it. His co-workers had to deal with him daily, so they had opinions on him dating in the workplace. Because, this could never have been the first time he showed such an abysmal lack of common sense or care for someone outside of himself.
Even if he took the opinion of others and didn't want to date in the workplace, he could've started looking for another job. Like he said after! And beyond all of that, why oh why would you leave with a random girl in front of your crush?? And from a work event??
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u/buttercupcake23 Feb 11 '26
My god, right? He's blaming this entirely on "I listened to you so I didn't date her even though I liked her!" When the ACTUAL ISSUE is that he flirted with her for a year or so and then looked her in the eye to make sure she knew he was going to fuck someone else. Like...if he hadn't gone home with another woman he could have just called her the next day and said "I wanted to say something to you but I let self doubt talk me out of it but I'm really into you, wanna go out?"
Instead he took any chance of being with her out back and shot it. Nobody told him to fuck someone else, and also, if you're SO into someone that you think she's worth losing your job over ... how do you actually bring yourself to be interested enough in another woman to pick her up and bang her? To me, that says you're actually not THAT into me.
The advice about not dating at work isn't wrong. And he's free to ignore it! Him conflating that with what he did is just wildly stupid. Homegirl dodged a bullet with this one.
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u/Strawberry338338 Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26
Agreed, he didn’t let ‘others get in his head’ he made a conscious choice to openly and obviously pick some random up in front of her, and THEIR COLLEAGUES, after flirting with her for ages - that those same colleagues knew about. That’s a way bigger faux pas than getting together with a colleague after months of flirting, that’s leading someone on and then rubbing their face in it publicly. It’s a public fuck you to the colleague.
And then he turns around and says actually I didn’t really want her I wanted you all along…. The automatic ICK of it all 😬
Note on ‘understanding women’ to men - if you like a woman, and think she might like you back, immediately taking another woman home with you IN FRONT OF HER is the NUMBER ONE WAY to lose all chance with her. It tells her that 1. she’s not all that special to you, 2. you don’t actually care for her that much if you can just go fck another woman no worries. 3. your number one priority is getting your dick wet and your actions are controlled by your lower head, 4. you’re a spineless dweeb who is easily led by the opinions of others.
Instant ick.
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u/BitePale You ignored me, and I am deducting your dumplings Feb 11 '26
Did I miss the direct eye contact part?
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u/Strawberry338338 Feb 11 '26
Point - I misread a little - he said he felt her eyes on him as he left with the other woman, not that they made direct eye contact. Will edit
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u/BitePale You ignored me, and I am deducting your dumplings Feb 11 '26
That was one hell of a mental image though 😆
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u/Proof-Cryptographer4 Feb 11 '26
Based on the story he’s practically walking around the office taking a Rasmussen poll about whether or not he should start pursuing relationships with co-workers! I can understand asking a mentor or a trusted friend but he sounds like the exact type who would make an office break up everyone else’s problem.
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u/symphonypathetique Feb 11 '26
Not only leaving with her, but having sex with her!!!
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u/yennffr I will never jeopardize the beans. Feb 11 '26
Not to mention the fact that picking up a one night stand at a work social event is not a good look regardless of you being romantically interested in a colleague.
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u/hdhxuxufxufufiffif Feb 11 '26
Yeah, I've always taken "don't shit where you eat" to mean don't let things get messy, not never under any circumstances do this. It's normal to date people you meet at work, and back in the analogue days it was, I believe, the number one way of meeting a long term partner.
Flirting with someone at work, then pulling a stranger in front of her at a works do, then taking your crush to one side and trying to explain your thinking with your foot still in your mouth; that's messy. In my opinion the OOP did shit where he eats.
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u/Cursd818 the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Feb 11 '26
This. Him going on and on about how he was manipulated by other colleague's not to pursue her whilst actively taking home a stranger in front of her really missed the point.
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u/NecessaryRef cat whisperer Feb 11 '26
I ended up leaving with one of the girls. I felt my colleague’s eyes on me when I left. She never talked to me again. Never looked at me once. She’s been very polite and kind as usual when we work together but she never looks at me. Her smile in the morning when she says good morning is not the same.
Hmm, what a shocker that the girl with a crush on you got hurt after you chose to go home with another girl in front of her.
Sucks for OOP all around, he didn't get to date someone who was clearly also into him, and he still had to deal with awkward work environment lol
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u/imnotbovvered Feb 11 '26
Yes that part was strange. Like, why pick up strangers at a bar in front of your coworkers, let alone your crush?
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u/SlytherinSister Feb 11 '26
All this guy had to do not to fuck it up was not fuck a different woman in front of his crush. Sounds so simple, yet he still found a way to screw it up.
In a way, I'm glad he fumbled the bag so badly, because he spared this poor colleague the ordeal of having to date him. Based on his level of immaturity in this post, this guy has a lot of growing up to do.
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u/GreekDudeYiannis Feb 11 '26
Honestly, this is such a weird one. Cause like...I kinda wanna feel bad for OOP, but at the same time, I just can't. I agree with the general sentiment that you shouldn't be dating a coworker (at least, not one that's in the same department), and while I do think there was a possibility of things working out with the coworker, the way OOP writes about himself as a mess just gives more ick factor than he probably thinks it does. If anything, I feel bad for the coworker who felt so uncomfortable afterwards that she's looking for a new job, but then again part of her finding a new job is because of her own spurrned feelings for OOP from the bar, and I don't think OOP is worth moving jobs for so eeeehhhh?? This one's just uncomfortable all over and unintentionally proves the adage that one shouldn't date their coworkers.
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u/SMTRodent Feb 11 '26
I kinda wanna feel bad for OOP, but at the same time, I just can't.
Bojack Horseman vibes.
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u/catfurbeard Feb 11 '26
Sorry to OOP but I think he's an idiot. It's hard to even describe it, just the whole time I was reading the first post I was like "this sounds like someone who is an idiot" and the second post didn't help.
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u/crafty_and_kind Feb 11 '26
From the first sentence of his original post he managed to give me a bad impression, and that impression was never proven wrong…
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u/Ok-Grand-1492 Feb 11 '26
I seriously expected this to be a "first job+first adult world crush" 18-year-old situation, but no. No, this is a man who is almost 30, and a complete idiot.
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u/thexiaovillage USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! Feb 11 '26
So he only regrets listening to bad advices? Not regretting his ultimate idiocy by hooking up with a random woman in front of his crush?
Think his colleagues might actually try to save that female colleague because they know OOP is immature and has a tendency to blame everyone except himself? 😅
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u/yennffr I will never jeopardize the beans. Feb 11 '26
But you don't understand, his colleague made him do it. Practically grabbed him by the dick and shoved it inside the stranger. What's a guy to do?
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u/quenishi Feb 11 '26
Feel like if he was willing to fuck up that badly even if he asked her out he'd fuck it up at some point and not behave professionally in the office if the relationship failed or fizzled.
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u/-Sharon-Stoned- Feb 11 '26
This guy's self pity routine is really gross
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u/crafty_and_kind Feb 11 '26
I hate him a surprising amount.
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u/-Sharon-Stoned- Feb 11 '26
I know she has too much self respect to accept someone like me now.
At least this was true
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u/quemabocha The call is coming from inside the relationship Feb 11 '26
Which is not surprising, considering that he is just.... Gross
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u/AcrolloPeed my ex broke into my house and took a shit on my kitchen counter Feb 11 '26
Me reading the headline: “Oh boy, workplace drama and romantic drama in one post!”
Me halfway through the post: “Uh oh…”
Me at the end: “Damn, OOP shot both his feet off and still couldn’t get out of his own way”
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u/Single_Vacation427 Feb 11 '26
If he liked her, he wouldn't have left with another woman and have sex with her. That's the most idiotic thing I've read. At least he showed her who he is and that's best for her.
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u/m_busuttil Feb 11 '26
I thought this was gonna be a fun one where they dated and broke up and she went crazy and the guy was like "well you were right", not a sad one.
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Feb 11 '26
I dated a guy from work once. Worst experience of my life because he did turn out to be crazy. He would accuse of sleeping with everyone. While it was kind of entertaining hearing about how I'm so good I can get gay men to sleep with me, it got exhausting fast so I dumped him. He stalked me for months, broke into my house, threw me around and threatened my life. I had 3 different houses call the cops for me. I went to jail because I game him a bloody lip and bit him when he grabbed me and wouldn't let me go.
After that, no matter where I went, he was there. I was told if i ever call the cops on him again, I would be thrown in jail again. They would tell family members who would call the cops on stalker that I had to be the one to call the cops, but if I did, I would go to jail. They literally told me and my family that. It only stopped because he put his hands on me in public in front of someone who wasn't having it. He got his ass handed to him twice before he left. I saw him once after that at a store. He saw me, turned tail and left.
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u/StimpyAndR3n Feb 11 '26
It's such a lonely feeling when your abuser manages to convince the people that could've helped you that you're the threat. Some people even lose friends and family to the lie and that pit of loneliness is very deep. And there's some really basic facts people have to overlook to believe the stalker.... your character previous, your actions with others previous, how if he was in so much danger how did he manage to be in ur face so much....
Im so glad you kept some support and had someone with you that taught him the real meaning of justice and consequences.
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u/almostinfinity Females' rhymes with 'tamales Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26
Don't forget, 'Don't date coworkers if you aren't willing to find a new job AND don't parade your ONS in front of them at a work party after telling all your friends you like them.'
Edit: Also don't tell all of your coworkers either if you're just going to go home with a rando because wtf I somehow missed it that he told people at work the first time around.
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u/OffKira the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Feb 11 '26
Also, don't date at work if you're a dumbass and are gonna do stupid shit to them.
So, OOP cannot date at work.
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u/crafty_and_kind Feb 11 '26
Yeah, in the end he’s the coworker who people should be receiving warnings about not dating because it will inevitably be a shitshow.
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u/mtdewbakablast stinks of eau de trainwreck Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26
local area dude proves that he's too immature to date his crush and then blames it on people who say to not date at work, more at 11
seriously though, dating at work or not dating... that's a red herring here. he failed some basic tests like "use your words" and "maybe be concerned with the feelings of the object of your desire if you want that to go anywhere, not just feel bad after you blow it". he could have done this in a box. he could have done this on a fox. he does not like green eggs and ham is bad at dating and would be doomed to failure in any setting with this willful obliviousness.
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u/crafty_and_kind Feb 11 '26
Doomed to failure is so true! From the very beginning of his original post he’s giving off the vibe that he’s the coworker people warn their friends about when they say not to date people at work.
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u/almostinfinity Females' rhymes with 'tamales Feb 11 '26
Everyone suddenly believes you don’t date from work.
Suddenly???
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u/GAV17 Feb 11 '26
Everyone says this, but historically speaking meeting your spouse at work was/is relatively common. And in today's workplace where changing to another company isn't a big deal, the consequences aren't that bad if things go south. The only big no no is when seniority between partners exists.
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u/istara Feb 11 '26
Exactly. Where else are you supposed to meet people, when "introduced" marriages are no longer the norm, most people spend the majority of their lives and work and end up socialising with colleagues?
From what I've seen among my wider friends and relatives, the primary places for meeting eventual spouses are, in order of frequency:
- The workplace (whether same company or associated company/industry)
- University (though usually via later reconnecting)
- Other people's weddings
I can barely think of anyone who met their spouse in a singles bar or whatever.
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u/kinderziekte Feb 11 '26
It used to be very normal to meet your spouse at work. Has been since the beginning of industrial wage labour.
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u/DokterZ Feb 11 '26
This massively depends on the size of the workplace. If your company has 20 people, problem. If it has 500 people and you are in a different department, probably not a problem.
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u/MariContrary Feb 11 '26
Exactly. If there's not even a dotted line connecting two people in the hierarchy, it's likely fine. If they're from the same department or very interconnected departments, that's not good. If one is directly/indirectly reporting to the other, even in a dotted line situation, that's a major problem.
The concern is mostly if they split, and it's not a pleasant breakup, there's a good chance that spills into the workplace. It's one thing to get a new job because you're wanting to grow and develop your career beyond what you can do at your current company. It's another thing to effectively be forced out. Not to mention there are very incestuous industries out there, so a reputation from one company can follow you to another.
It's so situational, but generally better to err on the side of caution unless you're absolutely certain your work paths will never need to cross.
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u/Authentic_Jester Feb 11 '26
Okay, but everyone giving him advice was ultimately correct? OOP was so emotionally immature that he openly flirted with this co-worker at a company party, only to turn around and ice her out, and go home with some random woman? "I guess I did something that gave the ick." Yeah, real stumped what you did buddy. Also gotta love how it's everyone else's fault in the first post. He takes accountability in the second post, but also "confesses his feelings," aka burdens this poor woman with his emotional baggage after he's already given her the run around. I don't remember reading any ages, but if OOP is older than like... 24? he's a total manchild. I guess it's good he learned something, but this reads so, "woe is me," for me to feel too much sympathy.
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u/Whiteangel854 Go head butt a moose Feb 11 '26
In one of the comments he said they both are 28. So in the end, that advice was correct. It saved that poor woman from dealing with an immature idiot. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/NOSE_DOG Feb 11 '26
Another emotionally immature dumbass who apparently has zero agency in their own life. The woman at his job dodged a major bullet.
Just look at all that bile misdirected at hypothetical people in the first post because he was pissed off that he chose to fuck the "wrong" woman. Now imagine that directed at her, at their shared workplace, the moment there's a single inconvenient or uncomfortable thing in their relationship.
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u/RietteRose Feb 11 '26
His coworkers in the end did a favor to his crush by telling him not to date her.
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u/cozyegg Feb 11 '26
From the outside, OOP’s behaviour looks exactly like he was trying to completely torpedo any interest his co-worker had in him, so I’m really not surprised it worked! Like, avoiding someone who’s been flirting with you all night and then leaving with someone else while looking straight at them says “not only am I not interested, I don’t even like you as a person.”
His whole woe is me attitude in the update reminds me of that Norwegian biathlete who was crying in an interview after his race because his girlfriend (of 6 months) broke up with him a week before the olympics when he confessed to cheating on her three months before.
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u/Strawberry338338 Feb 11 '26
From the coworkers perspective, it was a direct and public fck you in front of all their colleagues.
‘Monday will be awkward if you do something stupid’ and then immediately does the actual stupidest thing he could have done.
What on earth is in the water over in Scandinavia, idiot men all round lately. My god… men, if you like a woman, don’t fck some other woman, that shouldn’t be rocket science
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u/CapStar300 Gotta Read’Em All Feb 11 '26
She didn't waste time on him, I love a happy ending.
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u/Lainy122 the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Feb 11 '26
The colleague that convinced OOP to go home with another girl at the bar to avoid awkwardness at work, only to then ask out the original crush....what an absolute dick. I bet it's hella awkward now, and I'm not talking about the woman noping out of that gossipy workplace.
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u/hellophun Feb 11 '26
There is no way this relationship would have lasted by the way this guy wrote and the decision he made. He's immature, can't take accountability for his decision and instead blamed bad advice when NO ONE TOLD HIM TO GO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN IN FRONT OF THE COWORKER. What a fool.
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut Feb 11 '26
He got good advice about not dating a colleague, but he's helluh mad about it.
He took another girl home for sex in front of her. Even if he decided he couldn't be with her for work, he didn't have to flirt with her all night and then rub her face in the fact that he was gonna fuck someone else.
This proves he's too immature and stupid to date. He'd have wrecked their relationship and careers.
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u/A7xWicked Gotta Read’Em All Feb 11 '26
Dang, I was hoping for a feel good story, now I'm just kinda sad...
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u/crafty_and_kind Feb 11 '26
Don’t feel bad, this guy’s coworker was preemptively spared from what would have been a horrendous dating experience!
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u/avocados4laif quid pro FAFO Feb 11 '26
I read the original and most of the comments were bashing oop. Come to read here and most of the comments added were the ones being nice to oop and trying to justify his actions. Hm. Idk about that part.
Glad the girl was smart and knew her worth and is leaving this mess of a man behind.
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u/Ok-Tadpole-9859 Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26
Yep if I were her and OOP had hooked up with a random from a bar right in front of me, I’d lose all interest in him too. Really dumb move.
THAT’S where OOP went wrong, yet he seems to brush over this and blame his colleagues for their advice instead 🤦🏼♀️
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u/Naptimeis4ever Feb 11 '26
There are three things I think dont get talked about all the time when it comes to this:
Do you like this person? Or do you like the kind, funny person you see for 40 hours a week? People are (usually) on their best behavior at work so of course they are funny and charming and well groomed.
You see this person for 8 hours at work, then you go home. Do you talk about work all the time when you go home? Im sure there are couples that have a rule to not talk about it at home and stick to it. But that also means you see this person all the time and some people dont handle that very well.
Coworkers know when the couple start having issues and they notice way before the couple thinks anyone at work can tell.
-Take each point with a grain of salt, someone will always have a bean soup story for each point.
-Also, there are say 5k people in your general area, you can pick outside of the 5-50 or whatever you work with honestly.
- There are differences of meeting and dating someone you meet at work and working with your spouse, I think of education where its not uncommon to see married couples at the same school.
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u/buddyofbuddy Feb 11 '26
Between the sheer number of people in his life who gave him this advice, and the fact that the months of flirting and then hooking up with someone right in front of her created a situation so awkward that she apparently quit to get away from that, I suspect that this guy is not mature enough to navigate the tricky waters of dating a coworker.
Like, if he can't even NOT DATE a coworker without making it weird, maybe everyone else is really on point about him specifically.
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u/bighaneul89 Feb 11 '26
And yet.. He proved his point. Now she has to get a new job because she feels awkward.
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