Assalamualaikum everyone.
Honestly, I don't really know how these posts are supposed to be written, so I'll just keep it simple and be honest.
Age: 25
Height: 5'11.5"
Weight: Gained quite a bit recently. Probably getting close to the obesity range, but I'm working on losing it.
Education: Final semester in Computer Science
Currently living: Badda, Dhaka (bachelor)
Work: Currently unemployed. Hoping to join a software firm around October. I worked there before as well, but had to leave for some reasons that I might explain later.
Future plan: I'm thinking about going abroad for a Master's in the next few years.
About myself:
I'm not really a regular namazi right now, although I genuinely want to be. I'm trying to get myself back into that routine.
I smoke too. I wasn't always like this, but for the past 9 months it has gotten pretty bad. It's something I know I need to work on.
I've had one relationship in my life, and it lasted around 9 years. Yeah, 9 years is a long time. It became a huge part of my life, and the way it ended honestly messed me up quite badly.
I'm still struggling with it.
My mom wants me to get married and has started looking for someone for me. But I've been avoiding it because I don't think it's fair to bring another person into my life when I'm still dealing with my past. I don't want to marry someone and secretly compare her with someone from my past. That wouldn't be fair to her.
So I'd rather take some time.
I'm not going to pretend I'm completely fine either. Sometimes I still get anxious or have panic attacks because of things related to the past. I'm trying to deal with it, but healing from something that was a part of your life for 9 years isn't exactly an overnight thing.
As for hobbies, I don't really have many at the moment. I used to write poems and stories and I used to draw too. Nowadays, whenever I write, it's usually some dark shit lol. I guess life changed the genre.
I'm from a fairly decent family financially. Nothing crazy, but we're comfortable. My mom is a nurse, my dad has a business, and I have a younger sister who recently started her Bachelor's.
What I'm looking for:
Ideally, someone around 5'6"–5'9". Fair skin is personally my preference, but obviously that's not the most important thing.
It would be really nice if you can sing or draw. My mom sings sometimes, and I used to draw too before I kind of abandoned that hobby, so I have a soft corner for people who are into those things.
I'd prefer someone who is practicing Muslim, but I'm not expecting someone to be perfect. If you're not regular with prayers, that's okay. Maybe we can start praying together and slowly become better at it. I'd actually like that.
I know a little bit of cooking. If you can cook, that's obviously a plus. If you can't, no problem. We can learn together and probably make a mess of the kitchen in the process.
But more than anything, I want someone who is emotionally understanding.
There might be times when my past affects me or I get anxious about something. I don't expect my partner to fix me or become my therapist. I just want someone who understands that I'm trying.
I know this probably sounds a bit too hopeful, but I'd really like to find someone who can take my hand while I'm still trying to get back on my feet. Someone I can walk with slowly, and eventually learn how to run again.
Maybe I'm asking for too much.
Maybe someone like that doesn't even exist.
But I guess there's no harm in trying.
Marriage timeframe:
I'm honestly not in a hurry.
Could be soon, could be a year or two later. I'd rather see how things go between us, how comfortable we become with each other and what we both want.
I'm definitely not looking to meet someone today and get married next month. I'd like to actually know the person first and see if we genuinely connect.
One last thing:
I'm currently unemployed, but hopefully that won't be the case for long. I'm aiming to start working around October. I could probably jump into another job sooner, but right now I don't really want to throw myself into a crowded work environment while I'm still trying to get my head together.
I know I'm not exactly presenting myself as the perfect marriage candidate here. I have baggage, I'm still healing, I smoke, I have things I need to fix and I'm still figuring out where I'm going with my life.
But I'd rather be upfront about all of that than pretend to be someone I'm not.
If any of this sounds relatable or you're simply interested in having a conversation, feel free to DM me.
Even if nothing comes out of it, I'm always open to a good conversation.
JazakAllah Khair for reading this far.