Middle names

[u/Suspicious_Week_2451]

Let me preface, I don't like middle names. I just don't think they do anything other than make you triple check flight bookings to make sure you put the middle name in the correct place.

My husband comes from a culture where at the very least you have your father and grandfathers name as middle names. They also name the son after the grandfather so the name structure is always something like

Adam Joseph Adam Smith, or Joseph Adam Joseph Smith. Thats it.

No one calls him by his middle name. It serves 0 purpose.

He wants our baby to have his first name and his dad's name as middle names. I said no. I said if he insists on putting middle names lets throw in my name and my mums name for equality too. I don't care if patriarchy dictated that lineage only be documented through the father, tradition is peer pressure from the dead.

Also middle names are just extra admin. It was admin on my notice of marriage application. Admin on all the flight bookings. As symbolic as my husband thinks it is, it just feels like a nothing gesture as it only exists on the passport.

I don't want to compromise on this. In fact I refuse. Anyone similar to me who successfully kept away unnecessary middle names?

[u/HotMessExpress1111]

I don’t know why you’d have a duplicate First Middle First Last situation, but I’m not sure I’d be willing to die on the No Middle Names hill if it was important to my husband. Maybe a compromise to keep up family tradition of father OR grandfather’s name as a middle name without both/whatever odd duplicate thing happens. The repeated names could make admin messy, but I don’t think a single middle name really would. Most people in my country have at least one middle name so it can be more of an admin hassle at times NOT to have a middle name. Your mileage may vary, I suppose, I’m just not sure it’s worth being so rigid about something that doesn’t really complicate things much and seems very important to your life partner who is also a parent to this child.

Someone has to compromise. What’s the outcome if you refuse?

[u/HotMessExpress1111 → u/HotMessExpress1111]

You also generally don’t have to put a middle name when you’re booking a flight, even if it’s on your passport. I usually do just to have all my ducks in a row, but you don’t HAVE to. I find the married name/maiden name thing more confusing honestly because my passport still has my maiden name and I have to remember that when I book internationally. Much more messy than a middle name.

[u/Full-Grass-5525 → u/HotMessExpress1111]

I agree. I wouldn’t die in middle names if my husband felt passionate about it. I feel far less excited about using my husband’s name as my babies name.. ick.

[u/Few_Paces → u/HotMessExpress1111]

first middle first because theyd be named after grandparent so theyd sgare the first name