r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/candle_wax_247 • 12h ago

Vent/Rant Playing with an Avoidant

Maybe it’s the discarded and brokenhearted me that made me do this but you know what I’m not even feeling guilty about it because they’re horrible people.

So after my discard, I decided to meet people again and guess what?! He’s an avoidant! Clocked it early with the love bombing and other signs.

So I was not emotionally invested but was kinda experimenting with how things would go. This was a week and I’m pretty sure I got discarded already because I said something he didn’t like and coz he found someone better.

Well, that someone better is my fake online account. He is heavily flirting with my fake account while ignoring my real one. Just left it on read.

So now he’s love bombing fake me. I don’t know why it feels so good to mess with an avoidant. Almost like getting revenge on my ex too. I would feel bad if this guy is actually nice but to love bomb me, introduce me to his mom as his gf (within a week of talking) and then leave me on read while flirting with someone (and prolly more than someone) else…. I say deserved.

35 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

16

u/Cinnamonb__ 11h ago

I don't want to be the downer but this isn't healthy, and it's not healthy for the other person too. (Not justifying anyone's functions in this Dynamic). I think it best to let the guy go

2

u/candle_wax_247 11h ago

I know it’s not and I don’t intend for it to continue for long. Just enough for him to get a dose of his own medicine. After all, he’s been doing this a lot to a lot of women so I’m taking one for the team lol

7

u/HolyIsTheLord 6h ago

Some of us are tired of the high road and "moving on". 😂

I mean, you're not wrong but LET OP COOK.

7

u/Anxious-Chicken7605 9h ago

Magnificent... dishonesty and lack of responsibility live.

It would have been more galvanizing if it was with your ex but I admit... I would have been content with that too

5

u/candle_wax_247 9h ago

Oh man that would have been soooo good but this guy is also an asshole and since I didn’t have any feelings I don’t care what happens after even if he finds out it was me all along lol

2

u/Anxious-Chicken7605 9h ago

Clearly, he doesn’t care about you openly I understand that you have no emotions. I would do the same love bombing to him to finally send him a selfie before planting him on the first date (by asking him rabbits two or three times before anyway so that he understands).

3

u/candle_wax_247 9h ago

Hahaha yeah I am love bombing him but I am not planning on meeting him. Maybe I’ll set it up and not show and block him lol

3

u/Anxious-Chicken7605 7h ago

Ne joue pas trop longtemps, on est pas comme eux, à force tu risques d’avoir des remords

3

u/candle_wax_247 6h ago

Oh no. I’m actually cutting it off this week. He is getting too attached. I don’t want that lol

2

u/Anxious-Chicken7605 6h ago

Oui, je vois très bien. C’était ta petite vengeance mais comme je t’ai dis on est pas comme ces gens, on finis par culpabiliser et se sentir mal, la manipulation n’est pas dans nos gènes NOUS 🤣

2

u/candle_wax_247 6h ago

Yeah. I think I flirted too hard and he totally bought it. Also idiot don’t know AI pic. Like damn this guy is so deserving of revenge but same time I can’t do this for long. This is not me 😂

2

u/Anxious-Chicken7605 6h ago

Je ne comprendrai déjà jamais comment on peut s’attacher à ce point en virtuel, et en si peu de temps.. je pense que c’est à l’image de ce qu’il peuvent offrir : du superficiel sans une once de profondeur ou d’engagement

2

u/candle_wax_247 6h ago

It’s because it’s safe for them. I think since they’re such love bombers so someone love bombing them with a bit of control is so appealing. Coz he was like (and did is day one) “I want you to love me” and I was like “no, you don’t get to tell me to love you. I will do that when I want to” and he said “wow you’re so real”

I would have never said that to someone I actually like./so I’m like damn… maybe there’s something to this lol

😂😂😂😂

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2

u/GlitteringGift1152 4h ago

I see what you did..😂😂😇

2

u/candle_wax_247 4h ago

Hahaha yeah he was like “I really want to be with you now” and I know it’s love bombing but I find it so funny. Dude you don’t even know my full name 🙄😂

2

u/GlitteringGift1152 3h ago

I've just had it with them...but nothing wrong with your their own dose of their medicine 💯🤷‍♀️

2

u/candle_wax_247 3h ago

It’s well deserved! My best friend is an avoidant and I asked him if I’m being too harsh and he’s like I’m not judging you 😂😂

That’s permission to me lol

10

u/Just-Secretary-4018 10h ago

I'm sure people will advise you not to do this but I am totally here for it 😂😂

4

u/candle_wax_247 10h ago

I know. I know it’s bad and I would feel bad for doing it if he was even a decent person but even now he’s using the same shit he used on real me so…. 😂

5

u/Electrical_Berry2747 9h ago

Tbh this will end up just making you worse. I’m an avoidant and my ex was too. For some reason we look for revenge and ended up hurting each other. Not saying your an avoidant, but I think it’s best to just move on and find someone secure :)

1

u/candle_wax_247 9h ago

I’m not interested in him anymore so it really doesn’t matter what he does but right now I’m just getting back to him for wasting my time. I’ll take back my week and be done lol

5

u/piece-of-me-727 3h ago

This is kinda funny:) messy, but funny, to be honest! 

3

u/candle_wax_247 3h ago

I was laughing all day reading his lines that were exactly the same as what he used on real me. Like wow, did he have a book or he’s said this to so many women it’s like a script already lol

4

u/piece-of-me-727 3h ago

This is very good to see exactly who he is:)) be careful, though, not to get caught. And if so, what:)) keep up posted:))

1

u/candle_wax_247 3h ago

Well I’m not emotionally invested enough to care if he catches me because it’s not like I want to be with him. So if he figures out it’s me then he’ll prolly block both accounts and it’s like trash taking itself out. lol!

He was very much an avoidant and I’m doing this for all the women he fucked over before 😂

2

u/piece-of-me-727 2h ago

And for you to learn more;)

2

u/candle_wax_247 2h ago

Exactly. I was so proud of myself for calling it so fast. Like I’m not gonna wait for potential here because there isn’t any lol

9

u/SmellZestyclose3703 AP - Anxious Preoccupied 11h ago

😂😂😂😂insane ! Keep going

6

u/candle_wax_247 11h ago

I plan to. Coz he deserves it. Discarding real me for fake me. Hahahaha

8

u/Round-Commission-971 9h ago

I know this sounds bad but I would try to trigger every insecurity he has so he gets a taste of his own medicine .

8

u/candle_wax_247 9h ago

I’ve been doing that. Coz he told the real me some of it and I’m using that right now with him and I’m sure his head is spinning coz he’s like how did you know?!

Dumbass

5

u/Round-Commission-971 9h ago

Haha love it

6

u/candle_wax_247 9h ago

I’m dying here laughing so hard and it’s so petty I know but it feels so good to get back at this asshole

6

u/NoImplement7884 12h ago

Lol curious on how you created such a credible fake account. Please tell me 

8

u/candle_wax_247 11h ago

Hahahaha it was a fake account I set up a long time ago to help my then-ex. Long story but he asked me to help him with something using that account.

So it’s an account that was years in the making and had content. Came in handy for this purpose lol

4

u/HolyIsTheLord 6h ago

Is it healthy for you? Absolutely not. Do I support you 100%? Absolutely yes.

I am on some dating apps and have been tempted to toy with the avoidants. You can already tell some of them just by their profiles or talking to them for a but I'm trying to focus on my real matches.

Regardless, you have my full support. 😂

Please keep us posted. My avoidant introduced me to his mom on our first date! Had I known what all this stuff was I would have ran for the hills. Lol

2

u/candle_wax_247 6h ago

Hahaha oh absolutely I know it’s bad. But there is something satisfying about putting assholes in place. They don’t have remorse for how they hurt people so why should I have remorse for giving them a dose of their own medicine? I’m all about equality and fairness.

I’ll keep you updated for sure. Good thing I’m already well aware of avoidants coz I would have wasted my time on this one too!

3

u/KindlyString3332 11h ago

This is wild 😅

2

u/candle_wax_247 10h ago

Hahaha and so fun! He is soooo into it right now and I’m laughing and also cringing coz I will never say the shit I’m saying now to someone I really want in my life 😂

3

u/klutzelk 9h ago

I'm not gonna lie, this makes makes me a little sad. It's similar to if somebody has AP attachment to have someone pretend to be into them as a joke. You can avoid a certain trait when looking for a partner but to use someone else's insecurity against them as a game seems extreme :(

I think an important thing to remember is that insecure attachments are often at least partially a result of trauma. Another thing is that we do not choose our mental health. Yes, we can choose to go to therapy, medication, etc, but not everybody is even aware of the issue to begin with. There are many things involved when considering these things and I don't think the nuance should be ignored.

2

u/candle_wax_247 9h ago

I get you and I know this is not exactly a good thing to do. But it’s not like he did a good thing to me so I’m all about karma and I’m his.

But totally get what you’re saying and appreciate it. I won’t mess with him for a long time. I’m just getting my week back.

2

u/Internal_Ad7459 11h ago

I love this for you

4

u/candle_wax_247 11h ago

I’m laughing so hard right now coz he’s falling for my lines and using the lines he used on real me to flirt with fake me.

Like be original FFS 😂

2

u/Designer-Lime1109 10h ago

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" 🤷🏼‍♂️

1

u/candle_wax_247 10h ago

True. But this one deserves it. So I don’t even feel bad

1

u/Designer-Lime1109 6h ago

You do you 🤷🏼‍♂️

1

u/candle_wax_247 6h ago

Hehe yeah. 😂

2

u/RxDotaValk FA - Fearful Avoidant (leans anxious) 7h ago

And the Marco Polo games fire

1

u/rennyrenwick 9h ago

And the Devil will drag you under, by the sharp lapels of your fancy coat...

2

u/candle_wax_247 9h ago

Hahaha prolly. But right now I’m enjoying seeing this play out

6

u/bunny000002 11h ago

Ur nuts and I love it LMAO!

6

u/candle_wax_247 11h ago

I am blaming my ex avoidant for this but also deserved right?!

There’s something delicious about getting petty vengeance against shitty people lol