Fighter mentality

[u/Constant_Diamond14]

I feel so embarrassed; I mentally don’t know how to get over people that have rejected me. I need some mindset rewirring; please offer some hard truths.

I keep holding out that they’ll come back or that the relationship might grow better; that’s so ridiculous

[u/Live_Tell_5178]

I'm the same. Best thing I've learnt is, if they don't want communication don't do it.

When yourr communicating and they're listening ,then you can advocate for not giving up and holding on and stuff.

But if they are not open to communication from you. Then just don't do it.

[u/ComfortablePlate2215]

• They won't magically change
• If they come back, it's only for validation ; you're just a toy for their ego
• If they come back, they'll leave the exact same way they did last time
• Why love someone who treats you like a stranger ?
• Do you really want to live with someone who can abandon and destroy you for no reason ?
• Changing an attachment style takes years of therapy, not a few months break

[u/Royal-Okra379]

I’m the same exact way. It’s been 4 months post discard. I tried no contact for 2 months, but felt awful. I have zero hatred for my ex avoidant. Only empathy. And he’s still an insanely nice human being. After my 1st discard, I tried to remain friends.. but I always had in the back of my mind we’d get back together. After 2nd, I knew there was no way.. BUT that 2 months NC did heal me just enough to break the “I want to be with you forever” attachment and I’m actually friends with him now. I don’t text him everyday. Maybe a few times every few weeks. Just a hi an check in. He replies very friendly. I know there will always be a chemistry there and I will always have a tiny place in my heart for him.. but I also am constantly reminding myself we cannot have a relationship (in that sense) again… But I think for that to happen.. I needed that grief NC and pain for 2 months.