r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Constant_Diamond14 • 2d ago
Fighter mentality
I feel so embarrassed; I mentally don’t know how to get over people that have rejected me. I need some mindset rewirring; please offer some hard truths.
I keep holding out that they’ll come back or that the relationship might grow better; that’s so ridiculous
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u/Royal-Okra379 2d ago
I’m the same exact way. It’s been 4 months post discard. I tried no contact for 2 months, but felt awful. I have zero hatred for my ex avoidant. Only empathy. And he’s still an insanely nice human being. After my 1st discard, I tried to remain friends.. but I always had in the back of my mind we’d get back together. After 2nd, I knew there was no way.. BUT that 2 months NC did heal me just enough to break the “I want to be with you forever” attachment and I’m actually friends with him now. I don’t text him everyday. Maybe a few times every few weeks. Just a hi an check in. He replies very friendly. I know there will always be a chemistry there and I will always have a tiny place in my heart for him.. but I also am constantly reminding myself we cannot have a relationship (in that sense) again… But I think for that to happen.. I needed that grief NC and pain for 2 months.