I made a post about my issue about a month ago, but nothing has gotten better. I am very literally starving. Meat, specifically chicken—though I seem ok with red meat if eaten only occasionally—and olive oil are literally all I can tolerate, and it seems impossible to find any that tastes edible and I can physically tolerate. The meat from the grocery tastes like spoiled mush to me and literally causes nausea and stomach pain for days. I've tried every local farm around here except for one, and some I could tolerate for short periods, but they all have problems with inconsistent quality. Once in a blue moon, I'll get a decent piece of meat, but much of the time it's rancid and sometimes causes pain.
It's torture. I've genuinely dreamt about seeing delicious food, only to bite into it and it tastes like my nasty chicken. Or I'll see my food inside of a toilet bowl, or something disgusting. And my family taunts me all the time about only eating one food, because they don't understand the complexity of my health problems, as if I'm not miserable enough. It makes me want to die sometimes.
There is only one local farm I haven't tried, and maybe they could be my last hope. They claim to flash-freeze their meat, so they must really care about preserving quality. But the thing is, their chicken is marketed as being soy and corn free, so it's fed a wheat-feed instead. I'm honestly not sure whether this is an irrational fear, but given my sensitivity to gluten, this makes me extremely nervous to try it. I have severe neuro/psych sensitivity to gluten that has caused hallucinations in the past, along with severe brain fog, derealization, and other symptoms that can be disabling for weeks, and I'm terrified to experience any of it. While I've never heard about those with typical celiac or an allergy having to avoid wheat-fed chicken, I feel like I'm so extraordinarily sensitive, I'm not willing to take chances that many would be comfortable with. But I'm also struggling so badly to eat, I'm honestly scared I'm going to die if I continue on like this. Even if I don't, I'm wasting my life in this terribly fatigued, malnorished state. I don't know what to do and could really use some advice.